"It was to be a party of special magnificence!" — JRR Tolkien

America’s 250th birthday on July 4 is a glorious occasion. Some people may have a different view, but ignore the party-poopers. Let’s make “having fun” an honorary American Principle this month.

For 250 years, we Americans have creatively celebrated our country’s birthday with bonfires, fireworks, parades, picnics and more.

In Brooklyn, N.Y., for example, Nathan’s Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest will take place again on Coney Island. Joey Chestnut, a 17-time champion, will be looking to defend the title he reclaimed last year after being excluded in 2024 in a sponsorship dispute. Tip: If you want to enjoy the rest of your day, leave the competitive hot dog eating to the professionals.

Going to be in Europe on the Fourth? Denmark’s Rebild National Park will be the site of the “World’s largest Fourth of July party outside the United States.” In 1912, Max Henius and other Danish Americans purchased land in the hills of Jutland and gifted it to the Danish king and people — on the condition they use it every year for a party celebrating American heritage. They have done so ever since, except during wars and COVID. If you have Danish heritage, you could be selected “Mayor for the Day.” Alternatively, you could win the “Top Karen” award. This isn’t about being a cranky busybody but rather recognition for making a major contribution to Danish-American friendship.

Closer to home, Hannibal, Mo., Mark Twain’s hometown, observes National Tom Sawyer Days during the July Fourth holiday. Locals would love you to help them paint some fences (there is a contest for this), and don’t miss the frog jumping, mud volleyball, and lots of Mark Twain nostalgia.

Does that seem like too much work? You don’t have to leave your bed in Hales Corners, Wisconsin. Pull up the covers and participate in the Fourth of July bed races or enter your pet in a costume contest.

Too laid back? In Fernley, Nevada, you can squeal while watching the fire and sheriff’s departments battle in a greased pig contest dubbed “Guns and Hoses.”

Are parades your thing? Strap on your Uncle Sam stilts and off you go. The tall, bearded, top-hatted version of Uncle Sam became iconic with James Montgomery Flagg’s “I want you!” poster from World War I. Uncle Sam started walking on stilts as early as the 1930s in Anchorage, Alaska, and did so famously on July 4, 1976, in Dayton, Ohio.

You’re unlikely to see Uncle Sam on stilts at the Alameda, Calif., Fourth of July parade, reported to be the longest in the country at 3.3 miles — a bit much on stilts. Better would be the Aptos, Calif., parade, at a mere one-half mile. A happy, iconic, medium would be the parade in “America’s most patriotic town,” Bristol, R.I., which hosts “the oldest continuous Fourth of July celebration” in the country, dating back to 1785.

Finally, if sprinting after pigs or marching with bands is too fast-paced, head out to Pawnee, Okla., and enjoy a beverage or two while observing the turtle races, a crowd-favorite of the Pawnee July Fourth Games. Don’t worry — the Pawnee turtles are well cared for. Unlike the well-seasoned 300-pound Key West sea turtle that served as the centerpiece for Independence Day dinner at President John Tyler’s White House, which ended with fireworks on Lafayette Square.

Speaking of fireworks, John Adams called for them even before the Declaration of Independence was signed, proposing on July 3, 1776, that American independence be celebrated with “pomp and parade, guns, bells, bonfires and illuminations.” A year later, Philadelphia celebrated the Fourth with cannon salutes, bells, bonfires, and nighttime fireworks, beginning and ending with 13 rockets for the 13 states. Thus began the noisy, old, “Glorious Fourth” that we know and love.

Finally, if you like glorious noise, the biggest fireworks show this year is reportedly set to take place on the National Mall in Washington, where 860,000 pyrotechnic wonders are scheduled to be shot into the air during 40 minutes of spectacular “illuminations,” setting a world record.

If that’s not special magnificence, I don’t know what is.

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ABOUT THE WRITER

Frederic J. Fransen is the president of Amerion College in Huntington (W.Va.) and CEO of Certell Inc. He wrote this for InsideSources.com.

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