ArcaMax

I knew a guy once, clerical type guy, had a stroke, couldn't work anymore. He was a few years shy of retirement age, so he needed to get himself on disability and the health insurance the state provides for people in his situation.

He lived alone, had worked since he was old enough to work and was able to walk unsteadily and live alone after ...Read more

I have never owned an autographed baseball or a basketball jersey with some guy's name on the back. I have hundreds of books, but none of them are signed.

I'm not a fanboy. I like boxing, but when I met Muhammad Ali in a hotel lobby, I didn't ask for his autograph.

For about 50 years, I've loved the writing of Jack Kerouac.

Who is Jack ...Read more

"Last words" used to be a popular concept. The idea was that, at the moment of your death, you were supposed to say something meaningful. They said the last words of Napoleon were, "France. The army. Head of the army. Josephine."

Josephine was Napoleon's first wife, so his last words show him either digging down to what he really loved or ...Read more

Two days ago, I went out to get trash bags because I needed trash bags, a prescription because I needed a prescription and cookies because I like cookies.

The kind young woman behind the drugstore counter handed me my prescription in a little white bag, stapled shut.

"Do you want a receipt?" she asked.

I go to one of those drugstores where ...Read more

An attorney I used to know told me how he figured out when to go home.

"When I can't pronounce 'judiciary,' I should pay my tab and leave," he said at the 8 p.m. end of his "after-work drink."

"Habeas corpus?" I said to him.

He laughed.

"You can say habeas corpus when you're too drunk to walk," he said.

What you can say when you're drunk ...Read more

I own a yarmulke. It's embroidered in gold, and I bought it in the gift shop at Touro Synagogue in Newport, Rhode Island, the oldest Jewish temple in America.

I've had it for decades. I've worn it to a couple Jewish weddings, and as a reporter, I wore it when I had to cover a Jewish religious ceremony.

You go in the temple to attend or cover...Read more

Eternal vigilance is the price of paranoia, and that's why I check my garage carefully every day.

I check the garage because I figure if we get mice, that's where they're gonna get in first.

We had mice in our last house. We had them for about two weeks, and then the exterminator we hired killed them all, and we had a couple of small cracks ...Read more

I went out to buy envelopes Tuesday.

When you're semiretired, as I am, those small tasks become the day.

"Well," you say to your wife when you wake up, "I gotta go buy some envelopes today."

I walked to a chain drug store. They had envelopes. You got a box of 100 for $2.99.

The woman behind the cash register looked, as my father used to ...Read more

Some people (fewer every decade) put a little sticker inside the front cover of books they own. It's called a "bookplate," and it tells people you own the book. Maybe it also makes people return the book when they borrow it from you. Sometimes the bookplate says, "From the library of," and then your name. You can have them made, and they're ...Read more

You can tell Valentine's Day was designed with women in mind because there is no holiday meal for Mom to cook.

Thanksgiving and Christmas both have women out in the kitchen baking animals or parts of an animal. In a lot of households, it's a woman who makes the Super Bowl wings and things.

On Valentine's Day, the tradition is to free your ...Read more

A few years ago, some people acted like they were horrified when a poll showed that a lot of high school and college students wanted to work for the government when they grew up.

"No ambition, these little punks," grumped people who would soon be voting for Donald Trump, the working man's friend. "They just want to work for the government ...Read more

If, like most people in the United States, you wanted something done about immigration, you got your wish this last week.

It may not be what you wanted. You might think it's stupid or cruel or racist or fascist. But something is by God being done, and it's being done by President Donald Trump.

Will it make things better? No one knows, but it...Read more

Every newspaper columnist in America is expected to write 800 words every week about President Donald J. Trump.

I refuse.

I refuse because there's no point in calling someone an "enemy of the state" unless you want to kill them, and I don't want to be remembered just for the political stuff.

"Come on," I'll tell the hooded and robed judges....Read more