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Tyrades! by Danny Tyree

Well, that quarter-century went by faster than the weaver’s shuttle!

(Almost as fast as younger readers Googling, “What the %$#@& is a weaver’s shuttle?”)

As of late October, I have been pounding out a Tyrades! column every week for 25 years without a single break, and with no plans to slow down.

Why ...Read more

Tyrades! by Danny Tyree

One of my co-workers has an autumnal tradition of spending a week of quality time with her dog Alfie around his birthday.

Some may find that eccentric, but even she is skeptical of a trend I saw reported in the Wall Street Journal.

“Dog birthdays are turning into elaborate social events,” barked the headline....Read more

Tyrades! by Danny Tyree

I had forgotten about it, but my father once reminisced about finding elementary school-aged me habitually “watching” TV with my back turned to the set.

He said I explained that I could imagine more interesting scenes in my mind.

The real demonstration of my creativity was that I could conjure a more tactful ...Read more

Tyrades! by Danny Tyree

Kicking and screaming were not involved, but it did take our 19-year-old son Gideon an interminably long time to show an interest in soloing with the drivers license he obtained at age 16.

Finally, the reality of walking 20 minutes from his off-campus apartment in inclement weather made him more agreeable to letting...Read more

Tyrades! by Danny Tyree

When I searched online for potential Halloween-column topics, I encountered innumerable headlines screaming about fun, easy, last-minute homemade Halloween costumes.

Who are all the people in desperate need of fun, easy, last-minute homemade Halloween costumes?

Did some poor loser overlook all the Hobby Lobby ...Read more

Tyrades! by Danny Tyree

“Are ya haaawngry?”

In the 1990s, that question by the late Harold Rowland became a running gag after church every Sunday, as he inquired where I, my wife and my parents would be eating.

In the future, many people may answer “Are ya haaawngry?” with a shrug and a muffled “Meh.”

Investors and food-...Read more

Tyrades! by Danny Tyree

“Where’s your Bayer?”

I vividly remember that question from my high school job working in a convenience market in my Tennessee hometown.

A buxom young lady from out-of-town posed the query and I helpfully directed her to the section of the store showcasing our aspirin, bandages, Merthiolate, etc.

She ...Read more

Tyrades! by Danny Tyree

National Newspaper Week (October 1-7) compels me to acknowledge my journalistic catastrophe of fifth grade.

Based on my passion for reading Nashville’s two dailies, Miss Bunch handed me the plum assignment of launching a newspaper for our class.

I joyously composed articles of my own and proofread the ...Read more

Tyrades! by Danny Tyree

Hot peppers bring tears to my eyes, but so does a family anecdote from my young adulthood.

I was living with my parents and slept during the day because I worked graveyard shift. One day my mother and brother brought home some pork barbecue for lunch. They pounced on the delicacy, chortling because I was missing out...Read more

Tyrades! by Danny Tyree

So, now the fuzzy purple critter isn’t the only “grimace” I’ll associate with the McDonald’s chain.

“I’m lovin’ it” was assuredly not my gut-level reaction when I read of a 10-year corporate plan to phase out self-serving soda machines in all the restaurants and require customers to request (grovel...Read more

Tyrades! by Danny Tyree

“So, Dan – what are you doing tonight?”

After 40-plus years, I can still hear one of my best friends from college asking that dreaded question.

No matter how many homework assignments, romantic entanglements and writing deadlines occupied my plate, Jack would invariably cajole me into some series of nerdy ...Read more

Tyrades! by Danny Tyree

When I was five years old and my father worked for a subdivision developer, the Tyree family was giddily comparing floorplans for constructing a new house on a wooded lot next to our crowded domicile.

My mother still owns the wooded lot, but twists and turns of fate (involving two relocations) saw to it that we ...Read more

Tyrades! by Danny Tyree

Nearly 60 years after discovering “The Dick Van Dyke Show,” I still watch the classic sitcom, but some of the punchlines haven’t held up particularly well.

Or maybe I’m the one who hasn’t held up so well.

You may recall that gag writer Buddy Sorrell (played by Morey Amsterdam) always made longsuffering ...Read more

Tyrades! by Danny Tyree

I realize such headgear has fallen out of style in our self-esteem-obsessed culture, but maybe I should belatedly don a dunce cap.

You see, one of my first columns (nearly 25 years ago) was a snarky dismissal of the nascent homeschooling movement.

I know at least two nice families who are homeschooling this year,...Read more

Tyrades! by Danny Tyree

I’ll never get over what the COVID-19 pandemic did to the Ollie’s discount chain.

Pre-COVID, on my way to the restroom while shopping, I always sought out the coffee pot that announced sentiments to the effect of “We’ve had a pretty good year. Treat yourself to a free cup.”

Pandemic precautions made ...Read more