Life Advice
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Once You're in The Room
At the gym, my trainer told me he was going to a trainers' conference in Austin. He worried that he might be both the shortest and weakest person there. I told him, "That's the room you want to be in."
It's a trope in the motivation and hustle circles that you should be finding the rooms in which you are surrounded by those who are where you ...Read more
Asking Eric:
Threadbare clothing causes embarrassment
Dear Eric: How much wear is too much wear on personal items? If I am even middle class, I'm clinging to the bottom rung by the tips of my fingers. I know work clothing must be clean and neat, free from stains and holes. But how much wiggle room is there for imperfections?
Some examples: I went to a ...Read more
Generosity With Strings Attached
Dear Annie: For as long as I can remember, my mother has been extremely generous with gifts, sometimes to the point of being over the top. My sister and I have always thanked her, while also telling her she doesn't need to fill our cars with presents for birthdays and holidays. Still, she continues.
Lately, though, her gift giving has started...Read more
Friends' Mental States Differ Wildly After Childbirth
DEAR ABBY: My best friend and I got pregnant, each with our first child, with our due dates a week apart. We felt blessed to be going through this amazing experience at the same time. Our babies are now 2 months old. I am adjusting well to motherhood. I feel it's coming naturally to me.
My friend is having the opposite experience. Ever since ...Read more
Asking Eric: Ex-stepmother may lean on estranged stepson
Dear Eric: My parents got divorced when I was a toddler. Father remarried to a woman for about 15 years until another divorce. My relationship with the stepmother was unhealthy nearly the entire time they were married.
Now we usually exchange texts on Mother’s Day and birthdays. But otherwise, we have no real connection in a meaningful way.
...Read more
Friend Surprised By Level Of Woman's Depression
DEAR HARRIETTE: Last week, I surprised a friend of mine on her birthday because I hadn't heard from her in a couple of months. I am so glad I showed up when I did, because it seems like she needed some love. I tried to conceal my shock, but upon entry to her apartment, it was complete chaos -- clothes, groceries, empty food containers, dishes ...Read more
New Friend Unwittingly Gives Triggering Gift
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I received a birthday card from a newish friend in the neighborhood. The card was unsolicited, though the giver had previously asked whether a party I was throwing had something to do with my birthday, and I admitted that it did happen to fall on that day.
The card had a few scratch-off lottery tickets in it. My family ...Read more
The Old Ways Don't Need to Change
Dear Annie: I know I am stuck in the "old ways," but I am trying to adapt to changing times. It is becoming very common for couples to live together before marriage.
While I have come to accept traditional and extravagant weddings as an occasion to finally declare their commitment before church and family, what I still struggle with are the ...Read more
Child's Baby Talk Grates On Woman's Nerves
DEAR ABBY: I've been seeing "Brad" for nine months. We both have children of our own. He has a daughter, and I have a son. The little girl is a few months older than my 7-year-old son. I can see myself having a family with Brad.
However, one of my biggest pet peeves is when children use baby talk. Brad's daughter seems to be doing it more and ...Read more
Asking Eric: Siblings don’t show up for mother’s centennial
Dear Eric: My mother turns 100 soon. I have three siblings who live in the same city 450 miles away. I live close to and see my mom the most.
I queried my siblings about the most convenient date to celebrate our mother’s 100th birthday. I got feedback and I thought all had agreed to celebrate on her actual birthdate. Several weeks later I ...Read more
Friend Insists On Keeping Money Found In Wallet
DEAR HARRIETTE: While my friend and I were walking, we found a wallet on the ground. My friend's first instinct was to steal the cash inside instead of trying to get it back to the owner. She is a 40-year-old woman with a well-paying job. I was shocked because I have known her for more than a decade and never would have expected her to react ...Read more
In-Laws Keep Shaking Us Down
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My in-laws are always asking for money or gifts.
One couple who had been living together for years -- divorced and married, employed, with a home, etc., asked for "cash only" gifts for a honeymoon for their second marriage to each other.
Another in-law asked for a piece of artwork I had created that was not monetarily ...Read more
No More Hemming and Hawing
Dear Annie: I have a friend, "Rosie," who kicked me out to the curb (metaphorically speaking) when her sister moved into her mobile home park.
Prior to her sister's moving into the neighborhood, Rosie and I saw a lot of each other. I was always sewing for Rosie, her husband and her mother-in-law at little or no cost. I sent food to her after ...Read more
Friend Has Heavy Heart Over Woman's Weight Issues
DEAR ABBY: My friend of many years, whom I consider to truly be part of the family, has made food the only thing that makes her happy. Besides my husband, she's all I have left. She went to a doctor a couple years ago who told her she must lose weight, but she ended up gaining more.
I've tried talking to her, but she says I am preaching to the ...Read more
Asking Eric: Friends’ prejudiced thinking leads to social isolation
Dear Eric: I have never had patience for prejudice. I grew up in a household where it simply wasn’t practiced, and it wasn’t until I went to college in the 1980s that I realized some people harbor dislike for others without reason. To this day, I still don’t truly understand it.
I am quick to distance myself from anyone who openly ...Read more
Brother Wants To Move In
DEAR HARRIETTE: My 14-year-old brother wants to live with me instead of our parents, and I'm seriously considering it. My brother and I are 20 years apart in age, and I have been out of the house for years now and have been able to secure a good life for myself. I have a good job, a husband and a cute Pomeranian puppy, so I have the means to be ...Read more
Let's Pretend This Never Happened
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was in a store where an acquaintance of mine was making a scene, demanding a product that the store does not supply. She stormed out after a barrage of loud, foul language. As she left, she must have noticed me, but I was looking purposefully away.
This type of circumstance, while not the norm, certainly does arise. Is it ...Read more
Toddler
Dear Annie: My granddaughter, "Melanie," thinks that she has a half-sister 24 years younger.
Melanie believes that her father, long divorced from her mother, was asked by his former unattached girlfriend with whom he remained friendly, to "help" her have a child before it becomes biologically too late.
Now, my granddaughter has become very ...Read more
Critics Pan Senior's Repeat Performances
DEAR ABBY: I am 70 and consider my mental faculties to be normal. One aging issue my wife and I have noticed is that I tend to repeat stories to our children, grandchildren and friends. Our children can be less than forgiving toward this old boomer as they deliver a comment like, "Yeah, we've already heard about that," sometimes in a rude or ...Read more
Ask Anna: I said yes to a second date and now I'm dreading it
Dear Anna,
I went on a date with a couple recently. I’ve been a unicorn before, so I’m not completely new to the experience, but I wasn’t sure whether it was something I still wanted — and, honestly, I’m still not sure. The date itself was fine! We had fun, and afterward I wanted to see them again, so told them as much. But now I’m ...Read more
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