Life Advice
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Asking Eric: Party host wants to keep guests from drunk driving
Dear Eric: When hosting a party, what is the best way to ensure guests drive home safely if they have been drinking or are otherwise intoxicated?
– Safe Home
Dear Home: If a friend is impaired by alcohol or intoxicated, it’s imperative that they don’t get behind the wheel, full stop. Some methods for preventing this include taking their ...Read more
Friend Gets Caught Talking Behind Woman's Back
DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend recently caught me talking badly about her, and I feel awful. We were at dinner, and she had walked away; I was facing away from the bathroom, and when she was walking back over, she overheard me say that an outfit didn't suit her body well and she didn't look good. Hearing those comments from a friend must have been ...Read more
Counter Old-Age Comments With Plain Facts
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Do you have a suitable answer to those who say to me, an older woman, "You must have been attractive when you were young," or after looking at an earlier photo, "Is that you?"
I also feel uncomfortable when being referred to as a "young lady" or a "girl," and being told I'm "X years young," or being asked "How old are you?"
...Read more
Dear Annie: Hoarding Ruined My Marriage
Dear Annie: Eight years ago, it felt like I had a mental breakdown trying to deal with all the clutter coming in our house. I told this to my wife, but her reply was to justify why she needed everything.
Meanwhile, my frustration turned from anger to rage, and I started throwing things and shouting at her and not understanding how attached she ...Read more
Couple Quarrels Over Sharing Of Inheritance
DEAR ABBY: My father passed away and left me a large sum of money. One of the first things I did was pay off my husband's debts totaling over $140,000. I also paid off my vehicle. I also paid $600,000 in cash for the home we live in.
For Christmas, I want to give each of my three adult children $10,000 from me and their grandfather. My husband ...Read more
Asking Eric: Family feud creates confusion about wedding invitations
Dear Eric: Three years ago, I had a falling out with my cousin, Harris, at a family gathering. Harris, like me, is a retiree in his mid-60s. We have been friendly before this. Harris also has three siblings, and I am on great terms with all of them.
He confronted me about something I wrote in the family gathering’s logbook that he found ...Read more
Missing Earrings Mystery
Dear Annie: I recently found a pair of earrings missing from my jewelry box. These earrings had belonged to my mother. My sister-in-law spoke of wanting them and felt (for some unknown reason that she herself could not express) that she deserved them. I have no proof that she took them. I don't even know how long they've been missing.
What ...Read more
Asking Eric: Relationship between younger man and older woman tempts gossips
Dear Eric: I have been widowed for almost three years now. About a year ago, I began dating a guy significantly younger than me. Prior to our romantic involvement, we were close platonic friends for more than a decade, and he was in fact a close friend of my late husband.
We communicated well and thoroughly discussed the effects that dating may...Read more
Friend Sends Unwanted Religious Videos
DEAR HARRIETTE: My dear friend has had a bit of a spiritual awakening over the past year or so. I love seeing them committed to their faith, but what comes with their newfound spirituality is preaching their gospel. I have been religious all my life, committed to my own religion. So now when my friend talks to me about his faith, it feels more ...Read more
No Winners In Host-Guest Standoff
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My sister's hardwood floors were being refinished, so I said it was fine for her to sleep on my sofa bed in my one-bedroom apartment for four nights. Knowing that she is VERY SENSITIVE to noise, I reminded her to bring her earplugs.
Around 10:15 p.m., she told me that she heard my TV (I already had the volume much lower than ...Read more
A Mother-in-Law's Criticism Could Do More Harm Than Good
Dear Annie: My son recently got married. My new daughter-in-law used to dress so cute. She always had makeup on and her hair done. But nowadays, she dresses like a slob. There are days I swear she doesn't brush her hair. She's told me herself that her mom has said to her, "What's wrong with you? Since you got married, you've let yourself go," ...Read more
Gabby Co-Workers Make It Impossible To Get Things Done
DEAR ABBY: At the company where I work, multiple departments share a workspace. While most of my colleagues are quiet and considerate, certain members of one department are very loud. They talk nonstop (nothing work-related) and have no consideration for others who are trying to work and concentrate. It has reached the point that it is next to ...Read more
Asking Eric: Close friend follows extremist groups online
Dear Eric: A close friend of 50 years has always gone out of her way, both in word and deed, to agree with my political views. She has participated enthusiastically in many advocacy events I have promoted. She has even gone so far as to express that her husband feels differently and that his views upset her so much, she might even leave him.
I ...Read more
Boyfriend's Mother Has Warning For Girlfiend
DEAR HARRIETTE: I spend a lot of time at my boyfriend's family home, and I've always felt comfortable there. I've known him and his siblings for years, so being around his family feels natural. Recently, while we were all spending time together, my boyfriend stepped away for a bit, and his mom pulled me aside in the kitchen. She told me how much...Read more
I Don't Want To Talk About My Groceries
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I believe what I buy at the grocery store is my own business, whether it's carrots and onions or products whose purpose would be embarrassing if explained. I wish supermarkets would train their staff not to comment on customer purchases, no matter how benign the sentiment. ("Oh, I like those cookies!")
Questions about ...Read more
Peace and Quiet Comes at a Price
Dear Annie: I'm 26 and sharing an apartment with two roommates who make my home life miserable. There's constant noise, passive-aggressive notes and one of them regularly invites people over late on weeknights (plus, they usually make dinner without cleaning up). I work long hours and need a peaceful home to recharge. I'd do anything to come ...Read more
Helpless Brother Bears Witness To Sister's Love Life
DEAR ABBY: My sister is involved with a wealthy man who is 20 years older. Their affair (they are both married) is now on year six as far as I know. My sister's husband is in poor health. Abby, she told him about the affair. They decided to sell their house and stop living together. Yes, they are still legally married.
The wealthy man insists ...Read more
Ask Anna: I still think about my ex years later. Should I contact them?
Dear Anna,
A few years ago, I fell into an intense long-distance relationship with someone I met through a fandom community. We went from friends to lovers, writing smutty fan fic together and talking every day. They already had a long-term partner, and although they had always considered themselves open, I was the first person they had ...Read more
Asking Eric: After estrangement, son misses out on hefty inheritance
Dear Eric: I lost my husband two years ago after a long, drawn-out decline. It was a traumatic ending.
Our son, now in his late 40s, was indifferent to his father’s decline. Our son has always been a challenge. Difficult teenage years with lots of poor decisions and rebellious behavior. He did not want to be a part of our family and has ...Read more
Person Struggles With Insecurity After Being Ghosted
DEAR HARRIETTE: I got out of a five-year relationship eight months ago and finally felt like I was ready to get back out there. I signed up for a dating app and matched with a guy. We talked for about a week and decided to meet up. However, he wasn't responsive the day of the date. I checked in multiple times, but after not hearing back, I knew ...Read more
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