Life Advice
/Health
Anguished by Anxiety
Dear Annie: My son has left home several times in the past, only to return because he can't seem to get his life together. A year ago, my husband died, and my live-in son, his wife and their baby stayed to "look after me."
They took over my house with their video games, clothing and trash. When my son became very verbally abusive to me, I ...Read more
Struggling to Rebuild Family After Ugly Divorce
Dear Annie: At the end of 2015, I decided to end my marriage of 30 years. My ex made the divorce very long and expensive, and he tried to financially destroy me in retribution. He involved our daughter and son and turned them against me. I have tried from the beginning to maintain my relationship with my kids, but they quickly shut me out of ...Read more
Gifts Go Unappreciated -- Again
Dear Annie: Each year, I send my sister's three adult children gifts. The youngest does not thank me unless prompted. My two questions are: Isn't this rude? And should I cease sending her a gift?
Since we live in different states, I usually text all three sisters to let them know something is on the way.
For the last few years, I have not ...Read more
Struggling to Support Wife Amid Health Changes
Dear Annie: I never thought I would need to reach out for advice regarding my marriage, but here I am. I've been with my wife for 12 years. It's the second marriage for both of us. There's a 14-year age gap between us. She has two children from her previous marriage, and I have two as well. With the exception of one, all of our children are ...Read more
Career Advice for Young Adults
Dear Annie: I found the letter concerning college students who decided on careers too early to be very interesting. I have spent 40-plus years working with a Scout troop as an adult and have watched as many young men, and now young ladies, pursue interests in many areas through the merit badges they earned or dabbled in.
With well over 100 ...Read more
My Son Is Neglecting Responsibilities as a Father
Dear Annie: Recently, my 25-year-old son, "Bill," decided to no longer be a dad to his 4-year-old son, "Greg." We had taken Bill back into our home after he and his ex-girlfriend, "Andrea," broke up. Greg was 2 at the time when Bill broke up with Andrea. Bill moved up to the mountains with us, and we allowed him to pay the bare minimum for his...Read more
Friend-Zoned and Feeling Confused
Dear Annie: I'm a 32-year-old single woman facing a predicament. I've been friends with a guy named "Stan" for a few months, though we haven't actually talked in over a month now. We were acquainted in high school, but we lost touch after a short while. Stan and I went on a couple of dates, and I thought things were going well, but then he ...Read more
Losing the Battle but Winning the War
Dear Annie: I am writing in response to "Helpless," the man who moved his family out of state and is now upset that his cheating ex has a close relationship to his relatives back home.
I think you're off base with your advice to move home. He should stay where he is and seek counseling at his location. Become active in some community programs...Read more
Confronting a Loved One With an Eating Disorder
Dear Annie: My husband confided to me that his mother had an eating disorder in the past, and there are possible signs she may have relapsed. When she visits us, she will exercise for hours daily, regularly disparage her physical appearance and skip meals claiming that she is "too bloated" to eat. I'm never sure what is the best way to respond...Read more
Aftermath of Dating a Narcissist
Dear Annie: After dating a guy who turned out to be a narcissist, my question is, how can I heal? I've tried everything, and I've even felt like I'm over it and I'm OK, but then I have my days. It's like grieving.
I fell in love with this man, and feel like I let my guard down way too soon, only to be disappointed. Yes, he pursued me heavily,...Read more
Potty-Training Problems
Dear Readers: Many of you suggested treatments for "Pooped Out and Sad in the South," which was the letter from the grandmother who was concerned about her grandson's difficulties in having bowel movements. I hope some of these suggestions help other parents and grandparents who face similar problems with their children and grandchildren.
...Read more
Fighting For Family
Dear Annie: I am at an impasse. On the one hand, I want to keep fighting for my three-person family of 18 years, but on the other hand, I wonder if staying is doing more harm than good for our daughter of 17. After a Christmas argument, her mom left and returned so late that all hopes for a Christmas dinner dwindled.
My daughter was sad this ...Read more
Growing Impatient With Friend's Ingratitude
Dear Annie: I am struggling with what to do about one of my very best friends who is basically family to me at this point. Throughout our friendship, I have noticed that she does not say "thank you" very often. This includes when a gift is given to her or even when a customer purchases something in person from her small business.
When I have ...Read more
Abusive 20-Year Relationship Must Come to an End
Dear Annie: I see that you often answer questions pertaining to families trapped in addiction. I grew up in that special hell with all of the complex trauma issues that go along with that lifestyle.
I am a card-carrying member of Al-Anon, Alcoholics Anonymous and Adult Children of Alcoholics. I have found ACA the most helpful. You never ...Read more
Finding Healing Through Grief Groups
Dear Annie: I have been reading your column in my local newspaper for a long time. Earlier this year, I sent a note to you about losing my wife and how my friends reacted. Never would I have thought that I would be sending you another note. But here I am.
As I said, I lost the woman who was the center of my universe for 60 years earlier this ...Read more
Should I Keep Encouraging My Parents' Divorce?
Dear Annie: I have never been ignorant to the fact that, in my opinion, my parents' marriage sucks. My dad is and has always been controlling and domineering. And my mom just exists and really believes it is her job to just be submissive. (These are people married since the 1950s.)
But the last couple of years, particularly 2020-present, my ...Read more
'Sucking It Up' Is Not the Answer
Dear Annie: I've read a few letters in your column in which parents wrote about two of their children arguing and wanting there to be peace. And in all of the replies, you have advocated trying to remind people about the good times and work toward building back the relationship.
Generally, in most of these situations, there is one sibling who...Read more
How Long Should I Keep Secrets for My Dad?
Dear Annie: Here's my dilemma: I moved back into my dad's house several years ago, and he has been good friends with "Chuck" and his wife "Rose" for at least 20 years. He goes out to dinner with them regularly and often has them over to the house for drinks and cards.
Well, about seven years ago, Chuck was sent to prison for molesting his ...Read more
Reflections for Martin Luther King Jr. Day
Dear Readers: Wishing you all a very happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Please enjoy this excerpt from one of the most famous American speeches ever made.
"I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed -- we hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.
"I have a dream ...Read more
Son Moves Out With No Explanation
Dear Annie: I'm just heartbroken. My son moved out last year, and he never talked to me about anything before he moved. We were so close, and we always talked. But all of a sudden, he packed up and moved out with no explanation. He had met someone a year prior to that. I met her for a second, and that was it. I do know where he is living but ...Read more