Life Advice
/Health
Senioritis Struggles: Fed Up and Counting Down
Dear Annie: I'm a 17-year-old girl, and I will be turning 18 next month. I'm a senior in high school, and my grades are excellent! I've applied to all of my colleges, and now I'm waiting for the decisions, which I will find out very soon. I live in Arizona, and the schools are in New York, D.C. and North Carolina (with my first choice being in...Read more
Supporting Widows and Building Connections
Dear Readers: So many of you wrote about the widow columns that I printed recently, and made some interesting points, so I wanted to share a few of these letters with everyone.
Dear Annie: Oh, wow! I just saw this in our paper and pointed it out to my wife. She didn't believe it at first, and I was just as surprised. Widows being shunned by ...Read more
Picking Up the Pieces After a Betrayal
Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 14 years. He is 9 years younger than I am, and when we got married, we each brought three children into our blended family. For the past two years, I was the primary caregiver for my mother after she had a stroke. Even before that, I spent a significant amount of my time caring for my elderly ...Read more
Family Boundaries and Paths to Healing
Dear Annie: I have a very toxic and narcissistic sister-in-law. Despite years of unpleasant family problems caused by her, my husband and his brother (her siblings) feel obligated to stay in contact with her. Now that their parents have passed away, I had hoped we could reduce this contact even further.
The issue has become more pressing as ...Read more
Is It Time to Let Go?
Dear Annie: I've been in a 14-year relationship with a man who never proposed. Early on, it didn't bother me much; we were both divorced with kids, and I'd just ended a 13-year marriage. But over time, his vague promises of "someday" have worn thin. He's lived with me for 11 years, helps with some handiwork around the house and contributes to ...Read more
Husband Feels Overlooked and Hurt by Wife's Lack of Support
Dear Annie: I was a high school teacher in an urban area and just retired after a grueling 37-year career under very difficult circumstances. I've been married for 30-plus years and am the father of two daughters who are now in their late 20s.
I've been a good father, husband and provider for my family throughout my life. My relationship with...Read more
When Friendly Favors Go Too Far
Dear Annie: Last week, my good friend "Jess" called me at 6 a.m. to ask if I could drive her to an appointment that same morning, even though I had to be at work by 8. This kind of last-minute favor is becoming a pattern. I've been tempted to say no, but she will always guilt me with something like, "You're the only one I can count on!"
I ...Read more
Giving Thanks
Dear Readers: I want to wish you and your families a wonderful Thanksgiving! This holiday gives me the perfect reason to express how grateful I am for all of you. Your thoughtful questions and comments have taught me so much about life and continue to inspire me every day. Thank you for letting me be a part of your journey.
Practicing ...Read more
Disciplinary Divide
Dear Annie: My husband and I have a 6-year-old daughter, "Eliza," and we recently have not been seeing eye to eye in terms of how to handle discipline. For example, last week, when she refused to put her toys away after playing with them, I told her she couldn't watch TV until it was done. She threw a fit, and instead of backing me up, my ...Read more
Am I the Problem?
Dear Annie: I work at a school as a teacher and have struggled over the years with how cliquey the other teachers have been. Shortly after I started there, the pandemic happened, and many people friended each other on Facebook. Because that was the only source for a sense of community as we went through those first few dark months, I accepted ...Read more
Family Won't Support Plan to Move Closer to Grandkids
Dear Annie: We have a home that's over 120 years old, and we've spent a lot of time and money maintaining it because we love it. We finally have it just the way we want, but it's becoming too much for us. After a lot of discussion, I finally convinced my husband to consider selling and moving, and he's on board. The problem, though, is with ...Read more
A Sister's Betrayal and a Brother's Blame
Dear Annie: My brother regularly calls to blame me for my strained relationship with our sister, without knowing my side of the story. For my own peace of mind, I keep my distance from her, though I still send her Christmas gifts, birthday cards and other greetings -- which she ignores and never reciprocates.
My sister is a school counselor, ...Read more
Crushing on a Younger Co-Worker: Is It Worth the Risk?
Dear Annie: I have a crush on my 18-year-old co-worker, and I'm certain she has a crush on me, too -- even though I'm 42 and she doesn't know my age yet. The age gap is too big, which makes me afraid to ask her out because I don't want to ruin my friendship with her.
The last time I had a relationship with an age gap this big was with a 19-...Read more
Best Friend Feels Betrayed by My New Relationship With His Ex
Dear Annie: My best friend's ex-wife and I have found each other after decades and fallen in love. The whole situation is really complicated. She left their marriage over 30 years ago and recently divorced another man -- the one she left my friend for. She left my friend bitter and broken and he's never really forgiven her. I can't blame him. ...Read more
Ready for Marriage, but My Boyfriend Is Hesitant
Dear Annie: I'm a 47-year-old woman, and I've been with my boyfriend, "Greg," for almost six years. I'm really happy with him, and I am at the point where I really can't imagine being with anyone else. There's just one thing: He has not proposed, and I don't know if he ever will.
It's gotten to the point where I feel almost desperate for him ...Read more
Keeping Family Ties Alive Shouldn't Be a Solo Effort
Dear Annie: As a wife, mother of three and a full-time program manager overseeing a crisis unit, I juggle a lot of responsibilities. Despite my busy schedule, I find myself having to be the one to initiate contact with my husband's side of the family. If I didn't, we would likely never see them. Maintaining family connections is important to ...Read more
Adult Child Choosing Comfort Over Family Tradition
Dear Annie: I'd love your perspective on an issue I'm having with my adult daughter, who lives in another state. She visits every Christmas for several days but refuses to stay overnight at my home. She claims my guest room is too cluttered and noisy, or she offers other excuses for not staying. Instead, she rents an Airbnb for part of her ...Read more
Am I Setting the Wrong Boundaries?
Dear Annie: I have complex feelings about my family, which may come across as harsh, but I feel it's important to explain. They exhibit behaviors that I find troubling, such as a tendency to rely on the more successful members of the family for support without taking accountability for their own circumstances. In their view, refusing to help ...Read more
Should I Reconcile With My Abusive Ex for the Sake of Our Son?
Dear Annie: I was married to my spouse for 34 years, and throughout our marriage, he was abusive. I separated from him two and a half years ago, and we are now divorced. Six months after the separation, he called to apologize for not being a good husband. I asked if he wanted to reconcile, but he had already started seeing someone else just ...Read more
Spotting the Red Flags in an Online Relationship
Dear Annie: I met this guy who seems to be my soulmate. He lives in America, and I'm in South Africa. However, he refuses to meet me and says it's because he is a celebrity.
He is manipulative and constantly makes me cry. He wants me to send him money before we meet, but because I can't -- I just don't have the funds he's asked for -- he has ...Read more