Life Advice

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Overcoming Family Guilt and Setting Boundaries

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: I'm a 50-plus married empty nester with a full-time job and three dogs. Life is still busy for us.

My mom, stepfather and younger half-brother live in another state. My father died when I was young, and my mother remarried and had my brother. At 17, I moved out and have been mostly out of sight, out of mind to my family. Although ...Read more

Slighted by Not Being Invited

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: I don't know how to act. My husband's nephew is getting married in another state. We heard all the aunts and uncles were invited, but we never received a save the date or an invite.

My sisters-in-law and mother-in-law are aware that we didn't get an invite. A couple brothers-in-law asked if we were attending the wedding -- ...Read more

Celebrating on Your Own Time

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: I often read letters from parents and grandparents expressing sadness about not being able to spend holidays with their children or grandchildren, and I'd like to offer a suggestion based on my own experience.

Growing up, my parents divorced when I was young, and holidays were often split between households. However, my mother ...Read more

Let Down by Longtime Friend

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: I've had a friend for over 30 years whom I've always helped out. I provided him with work when he needed money, loaned him money, and supported him through his divorce and various other issues over the years. I was always happy to do so and never expected anything in return.

A couple of years ago, he was selling some furniture ...Read more

Snubbed by So-Called Friend

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: I tend not to tell people when they hurt my feelings because it feels rude to correct others' choices. This is especially true when it comes to social invitations. A few weeks ago, I had lunch with someone I consider a very close friend. We see each other a few times a month and have even traveled together. During lunch, they were ...Read more

Feeling Forgotten

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: I've been in a relationship for almost four years now, and while things with my partner are great, I've been feeling increasingly frustrated by how his family treats me -- specifically when it comes to birthdays. His family has this tradition where they celebrate every member's birthday with gifts, cards and a special ...Read more

My Husband Won't Respect My Privacy

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: I have had a few health issues recently. During tests, my doctor incidentally found a mass on my spleen. I asked my husband not to tell anyone, except our kids who are 24 and 33.

I found out he told the neighbor down the street. I am upset. I haven't said anything yet to the rest of my family or friends. He argued (yes, argued) ...Read more

The Struggle to Find In-Person Therapy

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: I read your postings in our local newspaper every day, and I've noticed that you often tell people to seek help from a professional counselor before making big decisions.

I agree this is an important step, but I've found that counselors and psychologists are so busy that they either aren't taking new clients or they only want to ...Read more

Family Fallout

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: I am struggling with conflicting feelings over feeling disrespected by family members. I was not especially close to my sister, but we did see each other occasionally and text/talk on social media.

My stepdaughter was attacked and bitten by my sister's dog a couple of years ago. My stepdaughter's biological mother chose to sue my ...Read more

Parent Left Behind

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: I'm sitting here contemplating my life. I'm 65, ill and live alone with my little dog. Fifteen years ago, my only daughter asked for space while completing her master's thesis. I gave her space, but since then, I've only seen her about five times. I've begged her to talk to me and asked for her forgiveness, but nothing has changed....Read more

Posting Without Permission

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: I really don't like having my picture taken because I don't feel photogenic. I've asked my husband multiple times not to post any photos of me on his social media without my permission. However, every now and then, he disregards my feelings and posts them anyway. Each time, I remind him of how I feel and ask him to respect my ...Read more

When a Sister Cuts Ties

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: I'm struggling with a painful situation involving my sister. About a year ago, she abruptly stopped speaking to me, and there was no discussion or clear explanation about why this happened. Since then, she has kept her distance not just from me but also from our entire family. She's excluded us from all major family gatherings, ...Read more

Finding the Right Words

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: I proudly served in the military for nearly 40 years, and during that time, I experienced a wide range of challenges and rewards. Now, in civilian life, whenever people find out about my service, their immediate response is often, "Thank you for your service." While I deeply appreciate the sentiment, I find myself unsure of how to ...Read more

Wealthy Cousin Wants to Bury Grudges

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: I am writing to you basically needing advice on a matter of snobbery and arrogance.

This in regard to one of my relatives. They say money changes people, and in this case, I think it has.

I'm now past 70 years of age. I have a male first cousin near my age. We grew up in the same Midwestern town only a few miles apart. Let's call...Read more

Wife Weighs Divorce or Saving Broken Marriage

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: I have been with my husband since high school, so we've been together for 14 years and married for seven. I love him very much, but I'm starting to hate him.

He is angry every day. He comes home from work and doesn't pay attention to our children. I do all the cleaning in the house. He's been getting into his religion again; I'm ...Read more

Supporting a Family Member Struggling With Addiction

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: I enjoy your column, and I appreciate your perspective. I have a family member whom I have loved dearly and shared family tragedies with.

Over the years, he has become a severe alcoholic. I have had to create boundaries, namely not answering rambling phone conversations. I respond to long voice messages with texts. I express my ...Read more

When to Speak Up Versus Walk Away

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: I have a sister-in-law who can't seem to attend any family gathering without cornering someone for a confrontation. For years, that someone was me. I waited for my husband to step in, but after nothing changed, I finally decided to set some boundaries. Looking back, I wish I had spoken up sooner, but I hesitated because she's my ...Read more

The 'Other' Grandmother

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: I am the mother of two wonderful sons, both married to equally wonderful women. While I am grateful for the love and partnership they have found, I can wholeheartedly relate to the sentiments shared in "One Grieving Grandmother to Another."

Both of my daughters-in-law are incredibly close to their own mothers. It's a beautiful ...Read more

The Bra Dilemma: Balancing Personal Comfort With Social Expectations

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: It's been seven years now that I've engaged in this personal yet somewhat controversial choice, and I still can't help but wonder -- am I crossing a line in certain settings, or is this just my anxiety playing tricks on me again, amplifying what might be nothing more than mundane thoughts?

To give you some context, I've always ...Read more

Escaping Overbearing In-Laws

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: I married a man who was an only child, and throughout our marriage, his parents never let go of him. They wanted to be involved in every aspect of our lives and visited our home daily. I managed to set some boundaries at first, but after we had a child, their involvement became unbearable. They would arrive at our house by 7 a.m. ...Read more

 

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