Life Advice
/Health
Hunger Has No Season
Dear Annie: Your responders are showing the wonderful ways they are illustrating generosity and care this season, even at the expense of their own enjoyment of the holidays. A suggestion for making those benefits available past Jan. 1 would be to adopt a school or family or shelter, and to continue that commitment. Hunger has no season. ...Read more
Partner's Parents' Drinking Keeps Them From Their Granddaughter
Dear Annie: My partner and I were surprised to find ourselves expecting with my very loved rainbow baby. We had known each other less than two years and had just moved in together. So far, my relationship with his parents had been rocky at best. Both parents drank to the point of blacking out daily, which often made them unpleasant.
When I ...Read more
How Far Would You Go for an Animal?
Dear Annie: I have had dogs my whole life and treat them like members of my family. When they are sick, they go to the vet and get the medicine they need. I have spent thousands of dollars on surgeries for my dogs and recently hundreds more on blood tests and evaluations for separate issues.
My husband thinks it is ridiculous to spend this ...Read more
Can't Control Co-Worker's Lies
Dear Annie: I have a co-worker who consistently spreads misinformation in order to get out of doing her job. She often makes up policies that don't exist to try to trick other departments in our workplace into doing her work (even when that means the work gets done incorrectly by people not trained for the job we do). In the past, I've tried ...Read more
Request for Family Time Is Refused
Dear Annie: I am very close to my daughter and granddaughters, even though they live in Wisconsin and I live in Mississippi. They come to visit during spring break every year, and I will go see them sometime during the year as well. My oldest granddaughter will turn 13 before summer break, and I would like to have her visit for a couple of ...Read more
A Mother Retaliates to Daughters' Snubs
Dear Annie: Are you aware that, according to experts, approximately 25% of adult children do not speak to one or both of their parents? I'm in that situation. I gave my two daughters everything they wanted that I could afford to give them: dance and music lessons, dive and soccer teams, trips throughout the U.S. and overseas and expensive ...Read more
One Stepmother's Advice for Getting Along With Your 'New Family'
Dear Annie: I have two adult children who are married to great people; they both have wonderful jobs and beautiful children, who I just adore. So, what's the problem? They believe they have all the answers and that Mom (me) is an idiot! They don't outright say it, but their actions and comments suggest it. They believe they are successful ...Read more
'Perfect' Marriage Has Some Secrets
Dear Annie: My husband died in February 2020, just a few weeks after our 25th wedding anniversary. He was 12 years older than me, and this was a second marriage for both of us.
Our sex life started out amazing but came to a screeching halt about 13 years in, after he developed what he called a "friendship" with a co-worker. I called it an ...Read more
Putting Our Feet Down and Giving My Brother Tough Love
Dear Annie: My brother has a chronic mental illness. For all his life up until two years ago, he lived in the same city as my long-divorced parents, and there he received support from them as well as from community mental health services. Two years ago, he moved to another city, one he has long felt strongly drawn to and that is far from our ...Read more
When My Husband's Mistress Became My Daughter's Schoolteacher
Dear Annie: Seventeen years ago, my husband had an emotional affair with his co-worker. I confronted her when it started (she texted him after finding out we were having marital problems) and told her to please stay out of my personal life. However, the texts and happy hours between them continued for another month or two. I eventually ...Read more
Relationship Between Daughter and Godmother Seems to Sour
Dear Annie: My daughter recently and courageously moved across the country to the city her godmother lives in. I chose this friend to be her god mom based on what I thought was a beautiful bond the two had with each other. I adopted my daughter when she was in her late teens after a heck of a time in the foster care system. My friend gave my ...Read more
Estranged Due to a Car Loan
Dear Annie: I have a gift-giving dilemma. In recent years, we had a falling out with our child's spouse, and it's come down to the in-law's way or no way. As a result, the relationships with our child and grandchildren have also been impacted. Though I love them all dearly, I won't let the in-law dictate how I live my life.
I've continued to ...Read more
Perspective Shift Helps Manage Family Drama
Dear Annie: When our son was born eight years ago this month, my husband and I were excited to have family from both sides come and help us and be there to support us. We had been told by many people, both at the hospital and birthing classes, what to expect. Quite the opposite happened, and while it was a confusing and difficult time for us, ...Read more
Too Old for a Third Kid?
Dear Annie: I'm a newly married 32-year-old woman, and my husband is 31. We've been married for three months, and we're both really excited to share the holiday season together for the first time as husband and wife.
My childhood family is very small. I only have my mom and sister nearby and a brother who lives 2,000 miles away. My sister has...Read more
Daughter's Wedding Vision Is Not Up To Par
Dear Annie: My daughter will be getting married in a couple of weeks. This is her second marriage. They were engaged right before Covid and put the wedding on hold. They now have decided that they are tired of waiting and will go ahead with a small wedding with just very close family members. However, it has exponentially increased to about 26...Read more
Surprised by Neighbor's Come-on
Dear Annie: I was at home making a sandwich recently when my close friend's wife from next door came through the back door. She called out and said she just wanted to see how I was doing. I said I was great and asked if she wanted a sandwich and a beer. She said no to the sandwich but yes to the beer, so I got her one and then sat down to ...Read more
How to Reject a Holiday Gift
Dear Annie: We have a relative coming from out of town to visit for a week. I'd love to say I'm excited to see her, but I'm not. Last time she stayed, I was ready to push her out the door! She's bossy and tries to tell me what to do and how to do it. I don't appreciate people questioning me, especially in my own home. She's fanatically ...Read more
Thoughts on Thankfulness
Dear Readers: Wishing you and yours a very happy Thanksgiving! Today and always, may we take a moment to appreciate all that we have and are thankful for in our lives. To help celebrate, here are some of my favorite quotes about gratitude:
"Thanksgiving Day is a good day to recommit our energies to giving thanks and just giving." -- Amy Grant...Read more
Getting into the Thanksgiving Mindset
Dear Readers: As we enter into this holiday season with Thanksgiving starting tomorrow, it is a good time to start to live in the "gratitude flow" with life. When we are grateful for big and little things, we are actively and purposefully living a more grounded life. What we appreciate is appreciated.
The best way to do this is to start ...Read more
Bad Manners Are Ruining Dinner
Dear Annie: I love the advice you gave "Fretting the Next Day." I'm also turning 40 this year, and it has occupied my mind a lot. I try to remember that I'm way more settled now than I have been in my life and that, as the song goes, "I'm not afraid of growing older; I'm one less day from dying young" (thanks to Rob Thomas!). So much to look ...Read more