ArcaMax

DEAR HARRIETTE: I asked my husband to go to therapy with me, and you would have thought I had told him the Earth is flat. He looked at me incredulously and shook his head. He used to go to therapy before we met -- for years! I thought of him as a progressive person, as someone who is proactive about taking care of himself, inside and out. But ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a Black woman who is close friends with a white woman. We were chatting on the phone when I started casually complaining to her about the men that I've dated in the past. Every man that I've dated has been Black, and she knows this. She told me that I need a "new type." When I asked her what she meant, she said that I need ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 35-year-old woman who is married to a man four years older than me. Within a year of landing my first high-paying job, I was unfortunately laid off due to budget cuts. The day that I lost my job, I told my husband that I would need him to support me until I get back on my feet; my severance pay would last us only a few ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've started working in nightlife, and it makes perfect sense for my schedule. I'm a full-time student during the week, and I rack up a lot of tips on the weekend by working the bar at a popular nightclub. I need to have a job to help pay for my expenses. But it's a little tricky. When my parents ask me what I'm doing to make ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: Not long ago, I ended things with a person I had been in a relationship with for five years. Without a doubt the hardest part of the breakup has been having to re-explain it to all those who knew us as a couple. I am wishing that everybody would mind their business and just assume that I don't want to discuss the details any ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is a Gemini, and boy does he act like one. He treats me so nicely when we are in public. But the moment we get home or out of earshot of other people, he is mean and nasty. It's kind of shocking how he behaves.

We just went to an event, and he was so sweet and kind to me and everyone else. I thought to myself how ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter and I have just completed the college application process, and we are emotionally and physically exhausted. She is an excellent student and a hard worker. She applied to a ton of colleges, and while she got in to a number of them, none was her favorite. She picked a great college to attend, but I can't help but be ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went years without speaking to someone who told a cruel lie about me. That lie affected my friendships and even my family. It was so bad and so hurtful that part of me never recovered. It was hard to believe that someone I cared a lot about would intentionally lie about me to a host of other people. They recently reached out to...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am always the plus-one for a couple of my friends. As the single member of my friend group, they typically call on me at the last minute to go with them to various activities. I do my best to be available, and usually it's fun. My issue is that when I invite them to join me for something -- even when it isn't last-minute -- ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: Somebody gave my daughter a black eye while she was away at college, and she didn't tell me. I had to find out from a friend. I am furious and have a million questions, but my daughter refuses to tell me who gave her a black eye. I don't know who she is trying to protect. She does not have a boyfriend, and she isn't normally a ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am at my wits' end. My husband is a pot smoker. That is not news. But ever since quarantine started two years ago and we found ourselves at home all day together, he has smoked pot nearly every day -- morning, noon and night. It is no longer recreational. There seems to be a permanent waft of pot smoke going through our ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am dating a man who regularly gets his fingernails painted and has a lot of facial piercings. I didn't care for the piercings much when we first met, but as we grew closer, I realized that they were a form of self-expression, and now I really admire them. He will soon meet my family for the first time, and we've already started...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My former best friend called me the other day and told me she needed to speak to me about something important. She hosts a popular podcast series and told me that her newest episode would be about our friendship and the reason we grew apart. She briefed me on what she said about me. (The show had already been recorded.) She said ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like nothing is going right in my life. I am busy with work, which is good, but it just feels like a treadmill. I get up, and it seems like the week whizzes by. I don't do anything much for fun. My husband and I live in the same house but barely talk to each other. My life is boring and just ... nothing.

I listen to my co...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: It is way too expensive to visit my family, but they get deeply offended if I don't. I live in New York, and my family lives in Hawaii. They never offer to buy my ticket, but they insist that I come and stay with them once or twice a year. I simply can't afford it. I have kids to travel with, limited time off and a demanding job....Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a transgender educator. I am not visibly transgender, and my students refer to me with she/her pronouns, which I prefer. I was given the choice when I was hired whether or not to tell my students that I am transgender. I still have not decided. The kids are so young -- third grade -- and I don't know whether or not their ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: A few years back, I went on a number of dates with a man, but it didn't turn into anything. We remained friends on social media, but we stopped communicating directly. I found out he was engaged about a year ago and congratulated him. Since that interaction, he has reached out to me a number of times to ask if we can speak on the...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boss dropped the ball and is blaming it on me. She was supposed to send out an internal email with an important deadline, but she never told anyone about it. She was sitting on the information for a while and didn't let anyone know. Today, my colleagues and I got an urgent message from her stating that we have to work to meet ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a very talkative and outgoing roommate. I am a complete introvert, and social interaction can be very draining for me. Sometimes I do not want to be bothered at the end of a long day, but my roommate will still knock on my door and start casual conversations with me. I don't want to hurt her feelings, because I really like...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I learned that my neighbor is suffering from a terminal disease. She is very private. I was told by another neighbor who is close to her. I want to be able to support her during this tough time, but I'm not sure what to do since she hasn't told me of her condition directly. In the past we have spoken, but I have not visited her ...Read more