Life Advice
/Health
Friends Offer Advice Parent Doesn't Want
DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is going away to college in a few weeks. We are doing everything we know to get him ready. There are tons of little things to check off the list. What I didn't expect was for my friends and anybody else within earshot to tell me over and over again how hard it is going to be when he leaves. I know that! We are close. But ...Read more
Remote Worker's Friends Don't Understand Boundaries
DEAR HARRIETTE: Ever since the pandemic started, I have spent the whole summer at my family's cottage in a small beach community. We have gone there for summer vacations since we were kids. I'm so grateful for this little oasis. While in the past I went there only for fun, it has turned into a safe and comfortable place for me to work since I ...Read more
Best Friend Surrounds Herself With Bullies
DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend is one of the sweetest people I've ever met. She recently introduced me to her other friends, and I was surprised to find out that they're pretty much a group of bullies. They don't seem like very good people at all. We hung out with them for about three hours, and they spent at least two of those hours talking ...Read more
Boyfriend Doesn't Comment On Social Media Post
DEAR HARRIETTE: I haven't felt confident enough to post a picture of myself on social media in a very long time, but I recently got my makeup done professionally for the first time, and I just had to share the pictures. This might not seem like a big deal to most, but it was major for me. I got a lot of love from friends and followers, and I was...Read more
Grief Emerges Long After Colleague's Death
DEAR HARRIETTE: An industry colleague passed away about a year ago. I expressed my sorrow at the time, and that was that. Now, though, I am beginning to feel real sadness about this man's death. While we were not close, he had an impact on my life. Little things have been happening recently that have brought him to mind. I wonder if I didn't ...Read more
Ill-Mannered Host Makes Guest Feel Disrespected
DEAR HARRIETTE: For the past few years, I have hung out with a small group of people in our sleepy summer community. During the COVID-19 pandemic, the group was really small for health purposes. I like most of the people, but one woman rubs me the wrong way. We are all still loosely connected, mainly because it's a small place.
I went over to ...Read more
Partner Tired Of Boyfriend's Pot Use
DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend is a pothead. He smokes first thing in the morning and all day long. Most of his friends do the same. At first, I liked it; I used to smoke a lot, too. But that was years ago. Now I am working a professional job and trying to build my career. It drives me crazy to wake up to the smell of weed every morning and go to ...Read more
Partier Facing Health Challenges Even After Slowing Down
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been partying pretty hard since the pandemic started. That's a good two years -- maybe a little more if I'm totally honest. Partying means drinking, smoking, hanging out. For the most part, it hasn't been such a big deal. Sometimes I have gotten a little sick to my stomach, but then I pull back.
Anyhow, this summer as I ...Read more
Woman Confesses Disappointment In Friend's Support
DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend lost her mother last year. I tried to be there for her however I could, but of course there were many times when I was not sure how to show up for her. We had a heart-to-heart recently, and she confessed to me that she was disappointed in the lack of support she received from me last year. She said she felt that I ...Read more
Friend Wants To Support Woman's Relationships
DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend recently told me that she has a girlfriend. A few months ago, she was dating a guy. I don't really care, but it is confusing for me to keep up with her romantic life, and she really wants me to. I told her that I don't care who she dates as long as she is happy. What I'm having a problem with is getting her to believe ...Read more
Engaged Reader Doesn't Want Bridal Party
DEAR HARRIETTE: My fiance has a large group of friends. I do not have many friends at all, so I was hoping to skip having a bridal party altogether. My fiance is disappointed by this because he was excited to be able to have all of his friends be a part of our wedding. I understand, but I just don't have enough friends to match his groomsmen, ...Read more
Houseguest Wants To Give Hostess A Gift
DEAR HARRIETTE: I stay with a family friend every time I visit my son at college. It is so kind of her to offer to put me up. She is incredibly generous with her home and hospitality. She won't allow me to give her any money, but I feel like I should give her something. She often compliments me on my outfits. Do you think it would be OK to gift ...Read more
Son's Social Snub Dumbfounds Mother
DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to college orientation with my son, and he ran into a few students from his high school. He immediately began to talk to them, and at the same time, he completely ignored me. He did not introduce me to them or anything. When I asked him to introduce me, he told me it felt awkward because he knew the name of only one of the...Read more
Family And Friends Offer Backhanded Compliments
DEAR HARRIETTE: After months of hard work, I'm finally happy and comfortable with my current weight. I've been documenting my fitness journey on Instagram. I've been receiving a ton of positive comments from strangers and acquaintances, but also some backhanded compliments from the people I happen to be the closest to. My aunt commented, "Keep ...Read more
Employee Wants To Work Well With New Boss
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a new boss, and I feel like this is a new opportunity. For two years I worked with a woman who always talked over me and rarely listened. I stuck around because I liked the company and needed the job. I think if I share my ideas with my new boss and show her how much of an asset I can be to the business, she may begin to ...Read more
Friend Didn't Warn About Ex's Cheating
DEAR HARRIETTE: My guy friend knew that I was getting cheated on but didn't say anything to me about it. He never liked my ex-boyfriend. He warned me a few times that the man that I was with was not a good person, but he never gave me a specific reason as to why he felt that way, so I brushed it off. When I found out that I was being cheated on,...Read more
Couple Questions Decision Not To Reach Out To Ex-Friends
DEAR HARRIETTE: Due to a series of extremely negative situations that occurred, my husband and I stopped being friends with the first couple that we befriended when we started dating years ago. Now that our daughter is about to go to college, we realize that these two are our only friends who did not participate in our daughter's graduation ...Read more
Adult Daughter Shows Up Drunk To Dinner
DEAR HARRIETTE: My 25-year-old daughter showed up visibly drunk to our family dinner. I know that she is a grown adult, but we were at dinner with her conservative grandparents who don't condone alcohol consumption at all. She was loud and a bit sloppy, and I didn't appreciate it. Out of respect for the elders in her family, I think she should ...Read more
Dreams Cause Turmoil In Relationship
DEAR HARRIETTE: From time to time, I have these nightmares about my fiance and me having to face something happening to him or him doing something to break my heart. These dreams have made me feel conflicted with reality. Either I wake up crying, not wanting to get out of bed, or I wake up in a rage, upset with him over something that didn't ...Read more
Adult Kids Have No Interest In Relationship With Mom
DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like my kids as adults are losing respect for me. When your kids are young, they look up to you for everything and trust in you. My kids are all college age and older. They are leaving the nest and not looking back. They throw their bad memories as kids at me, saying that I was manipulative and a liar. But parents, we know...Read more