Life Advice
/Health
Reader Ready To Declutter Living Space
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm eager to reorganize and declutter my living space. However, I have tried to do this in the past and have never been successful. What practical steps or approaches can I take to efficiently reorganize, purge belongings and create a more serene environment without feeling overwhelmed by the process? -- Declutter
DEAR DECLUTTER...Read more
Teammate Body-Shames Volleyball Player
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a member of an intramural volleyball team, and recently I've been facing some disrespectful comments from one of my teammates. They have been body-shaming me for my weight and making remarks about my appearance that have started to affect my confidence on and off the court. I love playing volleyball and being part of the team...Read more
Husband Doesn't Support Clumsy Spouse After Injury
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am clumsy. This time I tripped and fell when walking home. I injured my leg badly and will need surgery. That's a bummer, but my problem is that my husband writes off whatever happens to me as me being a hypochondriac. He is horrible when it comes to patient support. He doesn't ask the right questions, blames me for getting ...Read more
Reader Excited To Meet Boyfriend's Family
DEAR HARRIETTE: This Christmas, I'll be meeting my boyfriend's family. They live out of state, and it's the first time we'll be face to face. We have been dating for nearly a year now and I really like him, so I'm looking forward to getting to know his family and see how he grew up. I want to make a great impression, but I'm a bit nervous. Do ...Read more
Social Media Friend Ghosts When Things Get Real
DEAR HARRIETTE: I just started talking to someone new. It was going really well for a few days, and I found him really attractive. We have similar senses of style and music, two things that are very important to me, and we were both contributing to the conversation equally.
I knew the guy on social media only until he gave me his number to ...Read more
Boyfriend's Social Media Behavior Is Suspicious
DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I have been on and off for about four years. He is the first person I have ever dated, and I am completely in love with him. However, sometimes I feel like we are a lot less compatible than we try to make it seem.
During our last break, my boyfriend dated someone else. When we got back together, he told me ...Read more
Student Still Daydreaming About Ex
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have not dated in a year, and due to lack of closure, I cannot stop thinking about my ex. I have not thought about him as frequently as I did when we first ended things, but now that I have become sort of a recluse and do not go out very much, I have been daydreaming about it more. I know I need to get out of the house. Last ...Read more
Friend Asks Too-Personal Questions
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who constantly crosses my boundaries by asking intrusive, personal questions about things like financial matters. How do I address this without making it confrontational? -- Crossing the Line
DEAR CROSSING THE LINE: Decide what you want to share with this friend and what is off limits. Take the time to think ...Read more
Prepared Student Doesn't Want To Leave Behind Friend
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am going to study abroad in Spain next semester as a junior in college, and I am excited as I worked extremely hard to raise the money to be able to go. I come from a low-income background, so I had to either raise the money or abandon my dream of studying abroad. I have a friend who is also going and was able to raise enough ...Read more
College Student Surprised When Roommates Want To Move
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a sophomore in college, and I have two other roommates. We live together in a dorm and have had our disagreements, but we have gotten over them. They recently told me that they are going to move out together, which caught me off-guard, and I'm left feeling surprised and somewhat abandoned. It feels so weird to me that they ...Read more
Partner Questions How To Bring Up Redecorating To Boyfriend
DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been dating my boyfriend for a while, and he's asked me to move in with him. I'm excited about this next step in our relationship, but I'm hesitant about redecorating or making changes to his apartment. I want to respect his space, but there are several alterations I'd like to make to make it feel more like "ours." How can I...Read more
Employee Nervous About Speaking At Work Conference
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a big work conference coming up, and I am worried about my public speaking skills. Normally, I am pretty calm in social situations and I get along with everybody well, but whenever it comes to presentations or big meetings, I get really anxious.
I just got promoted, so I had to prepare a speech at the last minute, and I ...Read more
Reader Stressed Out By Family Dynamics
DEAR HARRIETTE: With the holiday season approaching, I am struggling with how to deal with my family. I come from a strict household that allows little freedom. Many of the adults are blatantly disrespectful toward me, my siblings, my cousins and each other. It is hard for me not to speak up, but I do not want to come off as disrespectful. I ...Read more
Best Friend Acting Increasingly Rude To Service Workers
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm having a dilemma with my best friend. Lately, I've been embarrassed by her increasingly rude behavior toward service workers. We recently went to a restaurant, and she was unbelievably disrespectful. She ordered her food, and when it came, she kept asking where her smoothie was. They said it should be on the way, but it wasn'...Read more
Harriette Offers Suggestions For A Peaceful Thanksgiving
DEAR READERS: Happy Thanksgiving! I love this time of year for so many reasons. For many of us, the weather has changed, and there is a crispness in the air. It's time to cozy up in warm sweaters and blankets.
Being together with loved ones is paramount for families and friends at this time of year. Indeed, this weekend has long been heralded ...Read more
Formerly Friendly Colleague Undermines Woman At Work
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 25-year-old woman, and I work in finance at a bank. I'm struggling to manage a relationship with a co-worker. A colleague I once considered a friend has become increasingly competitive and seems to be undermining my work. We used to collaborate effectively and share great conversations. However, things have taken a sharp ...Read more
Student Needs To Find Balance In Schedule
DEAR HARRIETTE: Many people have advised me to start a few hobbies again to get my motivation back. A few years back, I abhorred reading, but recently, I have found a love for it. I typically read during the summertime when I do not have other obligations. When I get into a book, it is hard for me to focus on anything else or go to sleep until I...Read more
College Student Overwhelmed By Slate Of Activities
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a very busy couple of weeks coming up. I have my last round of midterms, Thanksgiving break, finals, moving back home, Christmas, visiting family, then New Year's. I am looking forward to getting to see family and friends and going back home for a while, but I started thinking about how much work and travel I am going to ...Read more
Perfectionist Becomes Overwhelmed At Work
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a perfectionist, and it's causing me a lot of stress. I recently accepted a job that proved to be overwhelming to me. I thought I would be good at it, but I had to stretch a lot, and it just seemed like I was not doing anything right. I ended up quitting after one week. I felt like such a failure. My boss didn't say that I ...Read more
Friend Wants To Address Months-Old Rift
DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a close friend group in high school that consisted of one group of girls and another group of guys. I maintained good relationships with everyone during my freshman year of college. Last summer, one of my friends and her boyfriend of three years broke up. Her boyfriend did not inform the guys about their relationship ...Read more