ArcaMax

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have become so used to having the internet at my fingertips that I sometimes find myself mindlessly scrolling social media for hours, regardless of how I'm feeling. It's a never-ending cycle; as soon as I put my phone down, I quickly pick it back up again. This has had an incredibly detrimental effect on my mental health, as it...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been dating this guy for a while, and I can't shake the feeling that he might be gay. There is something about his mannerisms and demeanor that stick out to me in a different way than the other heterosexual men I've dated in the past. He's kind, considerate and very thoughtful, but there is definitely something off about our...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My fiancee wants a luxurious wedding and refuses to compromise on her wishes even though I'm the one who works, and we would be much better off using that money in other ways. She argues that this is the only time in our lives when we will have such an occasion, but I can't help but feel as though it's frivolous to waste all of ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been single for a while now, and I'm starting to feel overwhelmed by the prospect of finding someone new. I want to take this time to focus on myself and what I need. It's important for me to build confidence in myself and know that I can thrive alone if I need to. I know that a major part of being single is learning to ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am embarrassed to say that I suffer from almost all of the chronic health problems that commonly befall Black people in this country. I feel like such a failure in this regard. Outside of my health, I am killing it at work and have a good life. I checked off all the boxes toward success regarding education and building a career...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: All of a sudden, I got really sick. I woke up one day and felt like garbage. I had so much work to do that I went to work anyway, but then I realized that I needed to take time off to get better. I don't ever take time off, so my boss was shocked when I said I had to go.

He let me leave, but he constantly called me for ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a colleague who wears a very pungent perfume. It's been increasingly difficult to focus with this smell filling the office, and I don't know how to address it without making things uncomfortable. She might not be aware of how strong it is, but it's starting to be a real distraction for everyone in the office. It would be ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was overwhelmed when I received an expensive Christmas gift from my friend. I never expected such a pricey present, and it left me feeling very grateful. I felt that I had to do something in return to show my appreciation, but what could match the gesture they made? Buying an equally extravagant gift didn't seem right, as I ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: In my dreams the other night, I remembered a troubling conversation I had with someone who used to be a dear friend years ago. This conversation marked the end of that friendship for a lot of reasons. She was so cold and mean when we spoke. I felt like God was judging me through her words. While some of the things she said were ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: Instead of a New Year's resolution, I have decided to repeat something I did last year -- sort of. Last year, I participated in a diet where you completely eliminate sugar for the entire month of January. It helps cleanse your system of all of the toxins that are associated with sugar. The side effect is that you lose weight and,...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband got stupid drunk on New Year's Eve, and his behavior was horrific. We were hanging out with close friends, thank God, but he truly showed his behind. I am completely embarrassed. He was cursing his head off and interrupting people when they talked. At one point, he was trying to grope my friend. It was just out of ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was involved in a terrible car wreck early on the morning of New Year's Day. Almost all of my loved ones and close friends either visited me in the hospital or sent flowers. I was really hurt when my best friend didn't visit me in the hospital after my accident. It was like they completely ignored what had happened, which is so...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been going out with a nice guy for a few weeks now. I live in Manhattan, and he lives in Queens. On several occasions, we have hung out late. The way I was taught, the man is supposed to make sure that the woman gets home safely. I know that's old-school, but that's who I am. I asked him to drop me at my door or to send me...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was going through old emails and social media posts and discovered a couple of messages from an old friend. She was reaching out in a timely manner, and I totally missed more than one message. These messages go back more than a year. I feel horrible that she probably thinks I don't care about her at all. I did not see any of ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 40-year-old single mom, and I am having trouble dating. It seems as if I am attracting emotionally unavailable men. I am always upfront about desiring a serious relationship, and every man who shows interest in me immediately lets me know that they are not interested in that. What am I doing wrong? -- Lonely Single Mom

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DEAR HARRIETTE: I just found out that my mother made a pass at my ex-boyfriend. I always suspected this because I noticed the subtle flirting when he would come around. It has always frustrated me how flirty she is with younger guys in general, but I am furious that she actually made a move on my ex. Now that he has confirmed that she did make a...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend is on some sort of weight-loss kick and is now trying to convince me that I need to follow her new routine as well. The diet that she is on is too restrictive for me. I have had a long, complicated relationship with yo-yo dieting since my teens, and I am just now starting to fix these issues -- well into my adulthood. ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I accidentally put my foot in my mouth when talking to a woman I really hoped to become friends with. I was trying to be funny and make a joke, but it came out wrong, and she got offended. I felt terrible afterward, and I'm not sure how to fix the situation. I tried to backpedal and explain that I didn't actually mean anything by...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I noticed something peculiar about one of my old friends; she invites me to major celebrations such as milestone birthdays, bridal showers, weddings and baby showers, but never for any small get-togethers like a girls' night out or dinner party. This has been bothering me lately. It's the time of year when I evaluate my ...Read more

DEAR READERS: It is January 6th again, a day that felt like it was stolen from all of us. My eldest niece was born on that day years ago, so it used to be a moment for sweet celebration in my family, the beginning of the next generation. I remember when we first got word of the attack on the United States Capitol building two years ago and my ...Read more