ArcaMax

DEAR HARRIETTE: A close friend of mine is very negative, and lately it feels that the negativity is always aimed at me. She throws subtle jabs at my career choices, the people I date, the other friends I have and even the things I wear. I went to lunch with her recently and decided I wouldn't say anything about my career because I didn't want to...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm in a serious relationship with a man who, like myself, has two children from a previous relationship. His kids are about two years older than mine, but all of them are in elementary school. My boyfriend's kids are not very well-behaved. They lack manners and respect for elders, and they regularly use swear words. I'm worried ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm getting married soon. Planning the wedding has been stressful for a lot of reasons, but one of the main reasons has been my fiance's groomsmen. One of the groomsmen's girlfriends is extremely jealous and does not want him walking down the aisle with any of my bridesmaids. She is demanding that her boyfriend walk down the ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went on vacation for a week and decided to unplug. I didn't speak to friends, family or anyone who could be reached only by phone. I'm back now, and I can't help but think about how much happier I was when I was not speaking to anyone. I miss my solitude and the peace of mind that it brought me. I miss not being so connected to...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I woke up in the middle of the night dreaming about an old boyfriend. I haven't talked to him in years, but I recently learned that his wife of more than 20 years passed away. I wonder if that's why he came into my dream? It was weird. The dream was erotic. I can't tell you when I last had any sexual fantasies. I have been single...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents have become very unpleasant in their old age. I try to visit them as often as I can, but their attitudes these past few visits have made them increasingly harder to be around. I stayed with them for only five days, and on the third day, they were bickering and moping. I feel terrible for not wanting to spend as much ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my oldest friends is going through a messy separation with his wife. My friend was caught having an affair, which resulted in his wife kicking him out of the house. He asked me if he would be able to stay with me and my wife for a few weeks. I wanted to let him stay with us so badly, but my wife was opposed to the idea. I ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I worked on a project years ago that drove me crazy. I loved the work, but the leader of the business was impossible to deal with. I left after about seven years. They recently invited me to come back to do some work for them. I agreed because I do love the work, and a couple of my contracts for this year are fizzling out, so I ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son's birthday and Christmas are close together. Some years, I have gone all out for both, getting him all kinds of things for his birthday and turning around to do the same for Christmas. This year, I can't afford to do that. There's a chance I could lose my job at the end of the year. There is a lot of uncertainty right now,...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: Now that people are going out again, my husband and I have attended a few events with friends and others. I notice that he turns on the charm big-time in front of other people, but when we are alone, he retreats to his corner of our home and rarely talks to me. The other day we were out and he was bragging about some of the work ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have spent years being mad at my father about things that he did and said to me when I was a child. I grew up in his household, and he was harsh. He was a taskmaster, and he expected everyone in the family to do exactly what he said, or else suffer his glaring eye. I was so mad at him because I felt like he didn't love me. He ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm dating a man whose ex-girlfriend cannot seem to leave him alone. She follows him around and even shows up at his home unannounced while I'm there. He's had to call the police on her a few times. It's getting to the point where I'm concerned not only for his safety, but for my own. What should I do? -- Crazy Ex

DEAR CRAZY EX:...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister is newly engaged to a man that she has been in a relationship with for several years now. They seem very happy for the most part. For my sister's birthday, we all went out to dinner and had an activity-packed day with a bunch of their other friends. I couldn't help but notice that one of her fiance's female friends was ...Read more

DEAR READERS: Happy Thanksgiving! For those of you who have been with me over the years, you know how much I love this holiday. It is that time of year when family and loved ones come together just to be together. For me, it is also the time of year when my daughter was born. Believe it or not, I started writing this column before she was born. ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: Lately I've been going out by myself on weekends. It's been empowering and somewhat therapeutic for me to go out to clubs, restaurants, bars, movies, etc. by myself. I feel independent and self-sufficient knowing that I don't need anyone else to have a great time. Interestingly enough, I meet more people when I'm out alone than ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to a work event this past weekend that was so much fun. I didn't realize how much I miss being around people. Just having the chance to hug other people and talk to them face to face was so nice, as I work 100% remotely. I'm grateful for my job because I was unemployed before the pandemic, but I now see that I crave human ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is virtually a nomad. He's always traveling somewhere, hanging out in exotic locales with interesting people. I hadn't heard from him since the summer but thought nothing of it. When I called, I discovered that he was in the hospital with a medical emergency. I felt so bad that I didn't know and hadn't reached...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've had my current job for about three weeks. It isn't exactly my dream job, but I've enjoyed it so far. There is a huge chance that I'll be leaving soon for a new opportunity that just presented itself to me. At a company party, my current co-workers were telling me all about how much they like me and how much easier I've made ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am from Los Angeles. Last year, I was in a long-distance relationship with a man from New York City. I hadn't really been to New York before I started seeing him, but I visited three times last year just to spend time with him. We broke up earlier this year, and I haven't been back since. Today I was asked to fly to New York ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I always choose a window seat on flights. I enjoy being able to rest my head by the window, and I do not like being shoulder-to-shoulder with two strangers.

I was recently on a flight on which I was seated next to a mother and her young child. The mother tapped my shoulder and politely asked me if I would switch seats with her ...Read more