ArcaMax

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm feeling uneasy after a recent family dinner celebrating my brother-in-law's birthday. During the gathering, I mentioned that my older sister, his wife, told me she was purposely avoiding losing weight because she doesn't want to get pregnant. I didn't mean to bring it up, but it's clear my brother-in-law really wants to have ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have recently transitioned into a new role that has me working in an open office layout. While I appreciate the collaborative environment and the opportunity to interact with my colleagues, I have been struggling with distractions and noise that make it difficult for me to focus on my tasks effectively. I have tried using noise...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm at a crossroads in my relationship with my boyfriend. We've been together for several years, and for the most part, our relationship has been strong and loving. We've talked about our future together many times, and I've always pictured us getting married, building a life and starting a family. However, a recent conversation ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My in-laws' 55th wedding anniversary is coming up soon, but unfortunately, my father-in-law passed away last year, so this will be my mother-in-law's first anniversary without him. It's been a tough year for her. She misses her husband, and their relationship was the foundation of her life. I know this day is going to be ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend and I are professional ballerinas, and we've been dancing together since high school. We've been through so much together -- the long rehearsals, the endless auditions, the excitement of landing roles and the disappointments. Ballet has been a huge part of our lives, and we've always shared that passion.

Recently,...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom is about to turn 60, which is a huge milestone, and my dad doesn't seem to be planning anything special for her. She's always been the one who goes above and beyond for everyone else in the family, so my siblings and I thought it would be nice for her to have a relaxing spa day. She absolutely loves going to the spa, and ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: When Sean "P. Diddy" Combs was arrested a few weeks ago, the news showed a video of him beating up a woman on a loop, and it disturbed me so much. What happened to that woman was awful, but there was more, and I couldn't figure it out at first. Then I realized that it was triggering for me: When I was younger, my college ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm afraid my past embarrassing moments will make my boyfriend see me in a different light. I've been dating "Bryan" for two years now, and he is insisting on coming to my hometown to meet my friends, as I have met his. We both live in the city where we work, but I grew up as an overweight kid in a low-income household with ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a 45-year-old man, and I thought I had finally married the love of my life just six months ago. My husband and I share many of the same values, dreams and goals, and I was overjoyed to have found someone I could build a future with. We dated for eight months prior to our marriage, but since getting married, he has started to ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm having a hard time controlling my shopping habits. I often find myself buying things on impulse, which leads to regret afterwards. I want to take better care of my money, but breaking the habit of spontaneous spending seems really challenging.

I've tried setting financial goals by using digital spreadsheets, manual logging ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: For the past few years, I have been getting together for dinner with a few other women with whom I used to work. When the first woman left for a new job, another woman started a text group so we can all stay in touch. That same woman would organize a dinner a few times per year. That was basically the only communication among the...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 17-year-old daughter recently posted a picture of herself on Instagram. She was so excited because the photos were from a concert where her favorite band performed. Someone she thought was her friend took a screenshot of that photo and used it in an incredibly hurtful way: She posted the picture on a private Snapchat story and...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm facing a situation with my 16-year-old niece, who is in a relationship with a 19-year-old boy from our neighborhood. I'm deeply concerned because this boy has a reputation for being a bad influence, and I fear that my niece might be negatively affected by this relationship. My niece is currently living with me after her ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just got promoted to senior manager at the finance firm where I work. The company is less than five years old, and, although it has been successful, there's still a lot to be done to stabilize it, just like any other startup.

I was not the original choice for this promotion; when I tried to gossip around about why I was ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: When the pandemic hit, I gained over 45 pounds. This change was quite noticeable on my body, especially since I am only about 5'2". My boyfriend, a fitness trainer, has never given me any reason to feel insecure about my body. However, I can't stop comparing my physique to his clients' when we work out together, which makes me ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a 35-year-old man who recently decided to get a nose job after years of feeling insecure about my appearance. Growing up, I was always self-conscious about my nose; it was large, and I felt it didn't fit my face. For as long as I can remember, I've dealt with teasing and comments that made me feel like my nose was a defining ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I accidentally discovered through a viral TikTok video that my childhood friend has been using my personal stories and experiences as material for her stand-up comedy routine. We used to be neighbors, and naturally, we used to share everything growing up, from secrets to dreams, and I always trusted her to keep my personal life ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been seeing a guy for the past four months, and while things started well, I'm still unsure of where I stand in his life. We live in different cities, so our relationship has been long-distance, making it even harder to figure out what's happening between us.

Recently, I brought up the topic of our relationship status, ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm feeling hurt after a conversation with my brother. He told me that I was fat and suggested that I lose some weight. I'm 30 years old, and I just had my second child a few months ago. Between taking care of my newborn and my older child, plus working full time, I've been completely overwhelmed. Sleep is a luxury, and finding ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister, who is eight years older than me, showed up late to my wedding and missed nearly half of the ceremony. As my now-husband and I were exchanging vows, she made a grand entrance that was anything but discreet, causing a huge disruption. To make matters worse, she was wearing a white gown, which felt completely ...Read more