ArcaMax

DEAR HARRIETTE: I decided to limit the amount of contact that my family is allowed to have with me. Now that I am older, I realize how truly toxic they are. I want to be cordial with them, and I want them to know how much I love them, but cutting off their access to me means protecting my peace. I feel slightly guilty about this, but it's been ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend is extremely upset that I've opted out of going to Miami for her birthday. We were set to go at the end of the month, but because of the new COVID variant, I decided to cancel my flight. We've had these plans for months, but I don't want to get sick. My friend thinks that I'm using COVID as an excuse to flake on ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am the nanny to two young children whom I absolutely love, but I don't love their parents. I think that the parents can be neglectful. I don't really like the way that they speak to me, their children or to others. The mother is especially rude. My attachment to the kids is what keeps me at the job. The job is enjoyable because...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My aunt -- my mom's sister -- has had issues with my stepdad for quite some time now. Their issues are complex, and I've always tried to stay neutral on the situation. I had a long conversation with my stepdad the other day about their issues. After the talk, we both decided that it was time for all of us (my mother, my aunt and ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I don't want to support my friend's YouTube channel publicly because I don't like their content. I have a lot of followers, and I only co-sign things that I absolutely love. Should I be completely honest with them about this? I don't want to hurt my friend's feelings, but I think their feelings are already hurt by my lack of ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every time I hang out with my friend, he leaves random things in my car. A month ago, it was his glasses, and today he told me left his hat in my car. I never saw it because it was in my back seat, which is odd because he was never in my back seat. I don't want to return his hat because I think he's doing it on purpose so that he...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I don't want to live with my boyfriend yet. We've been together for a year, and he's been asking me over and over again when we can start looking at places together. I've never had the chance to live on my own, and I'm very excited about being able to do it in the near future. I don't want to live with anyone. He feels that if we...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am so mad right now. I have been super-careful every day since the coronavirus pandemic started. For more than a year, I didn't go outside except to go to the grocery store and the doctor. Only in the past few months have I relaxed at all. I still wear a mask even as I have started back at the gym. I take my mask off only when ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel so uncomfortable all over again. We have spent what felt like nearly two years homebound because of the COVID-19 pandemic. My family and I followed all of the protocols recommended. We were strict with our children. Now, it seems all for naught. My daughter caught COVID-19, not because she broke any rules, but because she ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: The other day, I brought my friend to a dinner party as my plus-one. By the end of the night, she was telling the host (who had cooked the food) how she could improve on a few of her recipes. I've watched my friend be overly critical before. She's done this to my family members in the past, but they understand that that's just ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My four best friends and I have been taking annual vacations every spring since we were 23. We're planning another vacation now, and my friends want to bring new people I've never heard of before. I don't think it will be the same if we bring a bunch of new people. I want to tell them that I'm not comfortable with adding new ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got a promotion a couple of weeks ago, and now everyone is treating me differently. My co-workers hardly speak to me anymore. When they do speak to me, the energy is very tense and awkward. They treat me like I'm their boss and not their friend. This change of behavior at work is making me uncomfortable, to say the very least. ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend's sister is one of the worst people I've ever met. I hate how she treats my friend. I've watched her steal from my friend, embarrass her publicly and try to harm her. My friend is a little older and believes that she has to be the bigger person in the situation because her younger sister obviously has some behavioral or...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My assistant has been doing a good job at work, so I offered her a promotion and a 20% raise. I was surprised and disappointed by her response. She said she thought the raise wasn't enough and that she deserves a lot more. I run a small business and do not have more to give her. I never know if all of my current contracts will ...Read more

DEAR READERS: Today is the anniversary of a dark day in our country. On Jan. 6, 2021, just when my family was about to celebrate my niece's birthday, the airwaves were filled with frightening images of Americans who were overtaking our beloved nation's Capitol. It's hard to believe that a whole year has passed since that fateful day.

We are ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work in an upscale restaurant. My friends come in often to visit me, but my new boss doesn't like them very much. My friends can be a little bit rowdy, and apparently my boss doesn't like so much noise in the dining room area. My old boss had no problem with my friends. I'm scared that their boisterousness will jeopardize my ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm going on vacation with some friends from my college later this month. We decided on this a long time ago, but COVID-19 delayed us. Everything is set. We are going to an island with the plan to lounge on the beach and chill. I love the idea, but I have gained a ton of weight and feel very self-conscious about how I look. I ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I turn 25 next year. I feel that I lost years 23 and 24 to the pandemic. As I transition into my mid-20s, I realize that I have no desire to get any older. The thought of getting older actually scares me more than it should because it's so inevitable. It's not that I want to take my life or anything. More, it's that I have been ...Read more

DEAR READERS: Happy New Year! It's hard to believe that we have reached 2022. In some ways, the past year has seemed like a blur that actually lasted for nearly two years. The lockdown we collectively experienced -- which hasn't fully ended for some of us -- put us on a challenging trajectory. And here we are.

For those of us who are blessed to...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work remotely. I'm about 4 months pregnant, and the only person I work with who knows about my pregnancy is my boss. I'm not particularly close with any of my co-workers. My colleagues can see me on Zoom, but only from the shoulders up. Should I tell my co-workers about my pregnancy? There's no reason they need to know, but I ...Read more