Life Advice
/Health
New Hire Lacks Confidence After Lying On Resume
DEAR HARRIETTE: I started my first corporate job three months ago, but I lied about having prior experience in order to get it. It was really daunting at first. I was worried that I wouldn't know what to do, but I somehow managed to make it work. So far, everyone at the workplace has been extremely welcoming and helpful in teaching me the ropes....Read more
Husband Can't Keep Track Of Teeth
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband has had false teeth for more than 20 years, so he is accustomed to them. When he drinks heavily, though, he often takes them out of his mouth and puts them who knows where, only to be searching madly for them the next day. I find this infuriating and irresponsible. One time it took him a few days to find his teeth, so ...Read more
Health Issues Taking A Toll On Relationship
DEAR HARRIETTE: My health issues have become so overwhelming that it's putting a strain on my relationship. My partner has been supportive and understanding, but the amount of energy and attention I need is beginning to take a toll. It's hard to keep from seeing myself as a burden when I'm feeling this way, and I know it must be difficult for my...Read more
Impending Beach Trip Causes Trepidation
DEAR HARRIETTE: I go to the beach every summer, and I am looking forward to it again this year. I have a bit of trepidation, too. I have gained a lot of weight. As much as I like to sit out on the beach and tan and walk around and collect shells, I am feeling more and more self-conscious about my body. I know that nobody is checking for me like ...Read more
Affluent Friend Doesn't Want Relationships To Change
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have had a couple of financially good years recently. At the same time, I know that a couple of my closest friends have been suffering. I do my best to be supportive. For example, we used to go out to eat a lot. Now, I invite them over for drinks or dinner at least once a month so we can hang without adding burdensome expenses ...Read more
Squabbling At Work Worries Leader's Confidant
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in the onboarding process for a new project, and one of the principals is worrying me. There is a lot of tension in leadership. I have the ear of one of the leaders, and right now all I'm hearing is moaning and groaning about internal feuding. It's making me worry that the work cannot get done due to the bickering. I want to...Read more
Husband Upset By Partner's Sensual Dream
DEAR HARRIETTE: From out of nowhere, I had a dream that was extremely provocative. Next thing you know, I was having a spontaneous orgasm, even though nobody touched me -- including myself. It was amazing and highly unusual. Nothing like that has ever happened to me. Meanwhile, I woke my husband up with the squirming that apparently was going on...Read more
Acquaintance Considers Reaching Out
DEAR HARRIETTE: I just saw a story in my local newspaper about the company where the mother of one of my daughter's friends works. It was terrible. The company is being accused of discrimination, and it looks like a lawsuit is imminent. The woman I know has an important job at the company. While it is unlikely that she is directly involved in ...Read more
Social Media Addict Must Learn To Put Down Phone
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have become so used to having the internet at my fingertips that I sometimes find myself mindlessly scrolling social media for hours, regardless of how I'm feeling. It's a never-ending cycle; as soon as I put my phone down, I quickly pick it back up again. This has had an incredibly detrimental effect on my mental health, as it...Read more
Girlfriend Questions Boyfriend's Sexuality
DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been dating this guy for a while, and I can't shake the feeling that he might be gay. There is something about his mannerisms and demeanor that stick out to me in a different way than the other heterosexual men I've dated in the past. He's kind, considerate and very thoughtful, but there is definitely something off about our...Read more
Fiancee Insists On Over-The-Top Wedding
DEAR HARRIETTE: My fiancee wants a luxurious wedding and refuses to compromise on her wishes even though I'm the one who works, and we would be much better off using that money in other ways. She argues that this is the only time in our lives when we will have such an occasion, but I can't help but feel as though it's frivolous to waste all of ...Read more
Single Reader Wants To Get Comfortable Being Alone
DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been single for a while now, and I'm starting to feel overwhelmed by the prospect of finding someone new. I want to take this time to focus on myself and what I need. It's important for me to build confidence in myself and know that I can thrive alone if I need to. I know that a major part of being single is learning to ...Read more
Despite Success, Reader Suffers Health Setbacks
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am embarrassed to say that I suffer from almost all of the chronic health problems that commonly befall Black people in this country. I feel like such a failure in this regard. Outside of my health, I am killing it at work and have a good life. I checked off all the boxes toward success regarding education and building a career...Read more
Boss Lacks Understanding When Employee Gets Sick
DEAR HARRIETTE: All of a sudden, I got really sick. I woke up one day and felt like garbage. I had so much work to do that I went to work anyway, but then I realized that I needed to take time off to get better. I don't ever take time off, so my boss was shocked when I said I had to go.
He let me leave, but he constantly called me for ...Read more
Colleague Can't Stand Woman's Smelly Perfume
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a colleague who wears a very pungent perfume. It's been increasingly difficult to focus with this smell filling the office, and I don't know how to address it without making things uncomfortable. She might not be aware of how strong it is, but it's starting to be a real distraction for everyone in the office. It would be ...Read more
Reader Wants Repay Kindness Of Expensive Gift
DEAR HARRIETTE: I was overwhelmed when I received an expensive Christmas gift from my friend. I never expected such a pricey present, and it left me feeling very grateful. I felt that I had to do something in return to show my appreciation, but what could match the gesture they made? Buying an equally extravagant gift didn't seem right, as I ...Read more
Friend's Angry Lecture Resonating After Dream
DEAR HARRIETTE: In my dreams the other night, I remembered a troubling conversation I had with someone who used to be a dear friend years ago. This conversation marked the end of that friendship for a lot of reasons. She was so cold and mean when we spoke. I felt like God was judging me through her words. While some of the things she said were ...Read more
Reader's New Year's Resolution Causes Reflection
DEAR HARRIETTE: Instead of a New Year's resolution, I have decided to repeat something I did last year -- sort of. Last year, I participated in a diet where you completely eliminate sugar for the entire month of January. It helps cleanse your system of all of the toxins that are associated with sugar. The side effect is that you lose weight and,...Read more
Husband Gets Far Too Drunk On New Year's Eve
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband got stupid drunk on New Year's Eve, and his behavior was horrific. We were hanging out with close friends, thank God, but he truly showed his behind. I am completely embarrassed. He was cursing his head off and interrupting people when they talked. At one point, he was trying to grope my friend. It was just out of ...Read more
Best Friend Doesn't Visit Hospital After Car Accident
DEAR HARRIETTE: I was involved in a terrible car wreck early on the morning of New Year's Day. Almost all of my loved ones and close friends either visited me in the hospital or sent flowers. I was really hurt when my best friend didn't visit me in the hospital after my accident. It was like they completely ignored what had happened, which is so...Read more