Life Advice
/Health
Returning Friend Expected Warmer Welcome
DEAR HARRIETTE: I just moved back to my hometown. After college, I moved to Georgia to teach. I didn't really know anyone there. I had a few estranged cousins I rekindled with, and I made friends with some of my co-workers, but that was about it. I lived in Georgia for three years before the loneliness started weighing on me, so I decided to ...Read more
Man Wants To Be Treated On His Birthday
DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been dating someone for almost two months now. Earlier this week, my date suggested going out to celebrate my 35th birthday. It's been a while since I've celebrated my birthday with a woman I'm involved with, and quite frankly, I was flattered.
My birthday came around, and my date took me to a fun restaurant with great ...Read more
Work-Life Balance Proves Difficult For New Mom
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently returned to work after maternity leave, and I'm finding it difficult to focus. All I can think about is my baby, and it's affecting my productivity and ability to be present at work. I love my child deeply, but I feel guilty about not being able to fully engage in my job, which has always been important to me. Even ...Read more
Sibling Caught In The Middle When Brother And Friend Date
DEAR HARRIETTE: Despite my disapproval, my brother is dating one of my close friends. I don't have anything negative to say about either of them individually, but I just prefer not to cross those lines where my separate worlds intertwine. These types of scenarios make me fear ending up in the middle, and that is exactly what's happened between ...Read more
Luxury Apartment Dweller Has Issues With Heating
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm currently living in a so-called "luxury" apartment that was built just last year, and I pay a significant amount of money in rent. Unfortunately, my room is absolutely freezing, and it's making it nearly impossible to feel comfortable in my own home. I've already had maintenance come to seal the windows and walls, but that ...Read more
Financial Stress Causes Feelings Of Isolation
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm feeling completely overwhelmed by my financial situation. With paying off student loans, covering my living expenses and trying to save for the future, I feel like I'm barely keeping my head above water. Rent alone takes up half of my paycheck, and despite budgeting carefully, I'm struggling to make any real progress. I don't...Read more
Roommate Annoyed By Man's Nosiness
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a roommate who is incredibly nosy, and it's driving me crazy. He's always asking questions that are way too personal, and it's starting to make me uncomfortable in my own home. I try to be polite and friendly, but he doesn't seem to pick up on the fact that some things are just none of his business. For example, the other ...Read more
Friend Upset By Man's Assumption Of Interest
DEAR HARRIETTE: A childhood friend of mine has been in a relationship for more than five years now. He and his partner live together and share a car, and he covers some of her expenses, etc. They are fully enthralled. But honestly, I get the sense that he was never truly fulfilled by his choice. He always tells their story as if things just sort...Read more
Employee Wants To End Things With Co-Worker
DEAR HARRIETTE: I made the mistake of getting involved with a co-worker. At first it seemed really harmless to me because we were accustomed to hanging out socially (mostly in groups after work). When he asked me on a date, it felt like a natural progression. After a few dates, we progressed some more. Things started off as a fun and casual ...Read more
Girlfriend Compelled To Clean After Intimacy
DEAR HARRIETTE: Whenever my girlfriend and I are intimate, she showers immediately after. At first it was just her, but now she forces me to join her in a post-intercourse shower. In these showers, I've noticed that she scrubs relentlessly -- ferociously, even. It scares me a bit because I wonder what she's trying to get rid of or wash away. She...Read more
Job-Seeker Debates Opportunity Based On Location
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently managed to land a job after months of searching in this tough job market, and while I'm incredibly grateful for the opportunity, I'm struggling with the decision to take it. The job is exactly what I've been looking for in terms of compensation, responsibilities and career growth. It's the perfect fit on paper, and it ...Read more
Boyfriend Visiting Family Abroad Stops Communicating
DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend is currently visiting his family in South Africa, and ever since he got there, he's stopped calling and texting me regularly. Normally, he's a great communicator, and we talk and text throughout the day, so this sudden change has caught me off guard. I understand that we're in different time zones right now, and I ...Read more
Entertainment Employee Worried About Long-Term Future
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am currently working in an industry that I love, but it is unstable. I've been working on the creative side of TV and film for the past eight years. I am currently employed and thankfully have never experienced being laid off. I've done a lot of freelance work, so I know what it feels like for a project to end, but honestly, I ...Read more
Friend Shares Honest Opinion About Woman's Boyfriend
DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend of mine is in a relationship, and in my opinion, her partner is not good to her. From what she tells me and what I observe, he seems selfish, abrasive, cheap and not affectionate or protective of her. At a social event, he asked me jokingly why it feels like I don't like him. I gave him a serious answer -- a diluted ...Read more
Ex Looking For Place To Stay After Breakup
DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex-partner and the father of all five of our grown children recently broke up with his longtime girlfriend. This is a woman he began dating around 20 years ago when he decided to leave me to raise our children alone. While he didn't fully abandon our children, he did betray us, and I was left to explain why. He is now abruptly...Read more
Empty Nester Feels Overwhelmed By Life Changes
DEAR HARRIETTE: The past year has been full of change for me ... way too much change. Early last year, I lost my job. It was a job I had nurtured for the past 25 years, a place I'd been attached to since I graduated college, a job that saw me get married and have two children. That was a hard loss.
Not long after, my youngest child graduated ...Read more
Single Father Sets Boundaries With Girlfriend
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am in a relationship with a man who is a single parent of two children. It seems as though his ex left their family not too long after their second child was born -- perhaps postpartum. My partner and I have a great relationship, and I love his girls. They are sweet and funny, and I'm always happy to help and support them. ...Read more
Lonely Reader Wants To Meet Online Friend In Real Life
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been in touch with someone I have been meeting online for the past two years. We both have the same physical condition, but he's more outgoing and has a full social life, whereas I am the opposite. I have started attending events at the organization where he works to get support for my needs, but we have never introduced ...Read more
Husband Refuses To Stop Smoking Weed
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband smokes weed pretty much every day. During the pandemic, he got to the point of smoking all day long from before sunrise until going to sleep. We were all at home then, and it was infuriating to have to smell smoke while I was working in the other room. Fast forward to several years later, and the trend hasn't changed ...Read more
Relationship Changes After Starting Business
DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I have been dating for four years. For a while, it felt like we were building a life together -- a real future. We dreamed together. Aside from the love we shared as romantic partners, we were both ambitious and helped push each other along in our careers as well. Over time and after much trust was built, we ...Read more