ArcaMax

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am currently dealing with a bit of a health scare. This scare came out of nowhere for me, as I've never experienced anything like this before, even though I'm in my 30s. What's more troubling is that my mother just told me that this is something that may run in our family. Apparently, her mother and sister experienced similar ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am probably what is called a high-functioning alcoholic. I drink a lot -- both with others and on my own. I do my job well, and I handle my business. Sometimes I am groggy during the day if I drank too much the night before, but mostly I manage just fine.

I was looking at my credit card statement recently and realized that I ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I tend to miss out on messages that people send me on Facebook because I rarely log in. A few months ago, a former friend sent me a heartfelt message expressing how much she missed our friendship and how sorry she was for our estrangement. Unfortunately, I missed the message. She messaged me again more recently, and this time she...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a nephew who is getting married, and he is so happy. He came to me recently to ask for wisdom about marriage, and I fumbled and eventually told him I would think about it and get back to him. I have been married for a long time -- more than 20 years -- but if I am honest, I cannot say that it is a happy marriage. Sure, we ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My dad works in human resources, specifically in diversity, equity and inclusion. His job has been tense recently, and I have noticed that when he comes home, often he is wound up. His way of calming himself seems to be to say all of the stuff he has held in all day long. Therefore, we get to hear him rant about the people he is ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: A woman I used to go to school with contacted me the other day and asked if I could help her secure a job at the company I work for. While normally I would be more than happy to help a former classmate, this woman was not particularly nice to me during our time in school. I can't help but feel hesitant about using my professional...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently found out that my boyfriend has been googling breakup-related questions such as, "how do you know when it is time to break up?" and "how do you know if you are happy in your relationship?" He doesn't know that I saw his search history.

I am absolutely dumbfounded and confused by this discovery. We've been in a loving ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend wants to get a Brazilian butt lift, better known as a BBL. It seems like everybody is doing it these days. I did some research and saw that it's basically a form of liposuction. A lot of people get it, but it worries me. First of all, there's nothing wrong with her body. More than that, it is actual surgery. My ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a nephew who is dead set on joining the military. He has been talking about it for a few years, and it's almost time to enlist. He believes that it is as easy as 1-2-3: He will apply, get in and go to basic training. I hope that's true, but that is not what I have heard from people I know who are in the military. They tell...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, which should have been a moment of pure joy and excitement. Unfortunately, my husband's mother had other plans. Despite my wishes, my mother-in-law insisted on being in the delivery room during the birth of our child. This was not a decision that my husband and I had discussed ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been working on a business idea with a few friends for a year now. The core group of us have had individual responsibilities to get the idea to the next level. One person in our group is not carrying her weight, though. She has promised to deliver proposals and descriptions of the scope of work for her area and so far has ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently dyed my hair a fun color, and one of my girlfriends criticized me for trying to look younger than I am. I am a 50-year-old woman, and I work in the arts. She works in a corporate job, wears a conservative hairstyle and has let her hair go gray. I have the freedom to do what I want and look how I want, so I decided to ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am at a loss on how to express my concerns to my cousin. She has gone through some serious emotional trauma at the hands of her parents, and I have witnessed firsthand how she hasn't fully healed or even addressed those issues seriously. My cousin has been talking about having children, but the thought of her potentially ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: A few days ago, I went out with a friend for dinner. As I was about to pay, I realized that I had left my wallet at home. Not to worry, I thought. I had my phone, and I knew that the venue accepted Apple Pay. So I attempted to use it, only to find out that it wasn't working. It was embarrassing, to say the least. To add insult to...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I never had a good relationship with my sister growing up -- or even as adults, quite frankly. Recently, though, we have been getting along well. We do not live in the same town, but we talk on the phone occasionally. In the past, these conversations would often be awkward. This year, though, things have been much better. We have...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is coming home from college soon, and I want him to do more than just sleep and hang out with his friends all summer. I have encouraged him to get a job, but he hasn't made any inquiries yet. I know I am going to be fire-breathing mad if he does what is his normal: nothing.

School is expensive, and even hanging out with ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am at my wit's end with my girlfriend. We're both in our late 20s, but sometimes she still won't do certain things without her parents' permission. If her parents express any disapproval, she listens to them without question. We were planning a monthlong trip to another country, and when her father said it was too dangerous, ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend is constantly putting herself down. She cannot seem to take a compliment. Even when she gives compliments to others, she follows them with a put-down comment about herself and how inadequate she is in comparison. It's really frustrating and heartbreaking to hear. She's been in therapy for a while now, but clearly it isn...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: A few years ago, a guy I went to college with said some really hurtful things about me and then blocked me on all social media platforms. Unfortunately, he's a well-known creative in my city, and his opinion carries weight among our peers. I'm a less popular creative. Needless to say, the fact that he threw dirt on my name really...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: Earlier this year, I met a guy I really liked. We talked a lot and went out once, but nothing really came of it. More specifically, I thought we liked each other a lot, but when I came back to town after spring break, he kind of iced me out. Whenever I see him now, he doesn't even speak to me. That is weird, but I am trying to ...Read more