ArcaMax

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been struggling with nicotine addiction for a long time. I recently moved back in with my family and thought that now would be an excellent opportunity to quit, as I know they would not approve of my habit anyway. However, I am really struggling with my withdrawal symptoms, and they have begun to question me on some of my ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just hosted a big party for my son for his birthday. He received lovely gifts, and the next day I suggested that we sit down and write his thank-you notes so that we would get that finished right away. He looked at me like I was crazy and said he told his friends thank you already -- he doesn't need to do anything else. I know ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a father trying to repair my relationships with my grown children. While the kids were growing up, I was never as present as I wanted to be in their lives, and I regret that. I want to repair the rift, but I don't know how. I'm finding it difficult to build a strong relationship due to the fact that there's so much we don't ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am an entrepreneur. I have helped a good friend of mine who owns a struggling business that lacks funding, and it has caused a great deal of stress on both of us. My friend has not been able to pay me for my services or even cover their expenses, yet I have continued to help out, providing services to the best of my ability. I ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: A recently retired former employee of mine is trying to build a friendship with me. We were never particularly friendly while they were employed, and I find the dynamic now to be awkward and uncomfortable. I want to be respectful and kind, but at the same time, I don't want to be forced into a friendship. Can you help me come up ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is in college, and the trips to visit him or bring him home for breaks and holidays are expensive. Recently, my husband asked me how much his spring break flight cost. When I told him, he hit the ceiling. This is not news. We talked about what college would cost before my son went there. My husband seems to be totally ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work freelance and, therefore, never know when it will be feast or famine. As a result, I always say a resounding yes when I am asked to do a job. I had a good year last year, but things are kind of dicey this year, so I have been saying yes like crazy.

I also have been fighting off one illness after another this year. I feel ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to an event and saw a lot of people I haven't seen for a long time. One woman was very friendly, which was nice, but caught me off guard. She is what my mother calls "sometime-y." Sometimes she knows me, and sometimes she doesn't. On that day she saw me and thought she would even give me a hug. She is an important person ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother has always expressed frustration with her immediate family, specifically her parents and her sister. She moved away from them as soon as she turned 18. As I was growing up, my mother used to tell me how important it was for her to keep her distance from them for her own mental well-being. Now that I'm all grown up, I've...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother has been battling substance addiction for a while now. My boyfriend struggled with the same thing for years before I met him, and he is now completely sober, healthy and thriving. I want the same thing for my brother. The emotional and psychological toll that my brother's addiction has taken on our family is ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: What used to be cute in my marriage is now driving me crazy. I can't stand the habits that define my husband's daily routine. Even the way he gets out of bed in the morning grates on my nerves. It continues from there. I know it's not right, but I feel like my whole self is screaming at him to become invisible. I know how awful ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: At 26 years old, I'm finally in a position to support myself independently. Despite the tangible indicators of adulthood, I still feel like I'm not ready for it. There are times when I feel like I'm still living as an inexperienced teenager, just pretending to know what I'm doing. I keep wondering -- will I ever genuinely feel ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was trying to send a text message to my friend, and it inadvertently went to my boss. There wasn't anything bad in it, per se. But my language was a bit racy. I used a couple of curse words and incomplete sentences. It was the shorthand I use when I talk to my friends.

Anyway, I was embarrassed to learn that my boss had ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I have been sick all winter. I know part of it is because I have been going too hard, but I don't know how to stop. My job has me out and about many evenings during the week. That came to an abrupt stop during the pandemic, but it seems we are back in full swing. The only times that I have stayed home have been when I...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work for a company that still requires employees to take a weekly COVID-19 test. I get it; the disease is not gone yet and may never completely go away. I have friends who have gotten it recently. So in theory, I don't have a problem taking a weekly test. My issue is that my company expects the employees to pay for them. The ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have serious concerns about my fiance attending a bachelor party. I don't like the idea of a bunch of guys drinking and making drunk decisions throughout the evening with my future husband there. I don't think it will end well. I want my fiance to feel comfortable and to have fun on his last night as a bachelor, but I am afraid...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm about to host my own birthday dinner. I want to invite a few friends out to a nice restaurant, but I'm stuck on how I should split the check. Do I pay for only my portion and expect everyone else to cover their own? Or should I ask my friends to split the total cost equally? I don't want to be tacky. How do I let my guests ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am about to turn 26. I am excited and nervous. I work for a small company that does not provide health insurance. I have been on my mom's insurance for my whole life, but that ends now because that's the law. I don't think I will be successful in asking my boss to provide insurance for me. We took a hit last year when we lost a...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work on a project with a woman who drives me nuts. First of all, she does not do a thorough job, which leaves me with a lot of cleanup work. Second, because we are working on this job together, I think we should review the work before sharing it with others. That way, if any tweaks need to be made, that happens before other ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My anniversary is coming up soon, and it's a big one. Normally I would go all out and host a big party, but I'm not feeling it. Half the time I am so mad at my husband that I don't talk to him. The rest of the time, we either act nice to each other but it's pretty superficial, or we yell expletives at each other. It's a mess.

I ...Read more