ArcaMax

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to an event and saw a lot of people I haven't seen for a long time. One woman was very friendly, which was nice, but caught me off guard. She is what my mother calls "sometime-y." Sometimes she knows me, and sometimes she doesn't. On that day she saw me and thought she would even give me a hug. She is an important person ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother has always expressed frustration with her immediate family, specifically her parents and her sister. She moved away from them as soon as she turned 18. As I was growing up, my mother used to tell me how important it was for her to keep her distance from them for her own mental well-being. Now that I'm all grown up, I've...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother has been battling substance addiction for a while now. My boyfriend struggled with the same thing for years before I met him, and he is now completely sober, healthy and thriving. I want the same thing for my brother. The emotional and psychological toll that my brother's addiction has taken on our family is ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: What used to be cute in my marriage is now driving me crazy. I can't stand the habits that define my husband's daily routine. Even the way he gets out of bed in the morning grates on my nerves. It continues from there. I know it's not right, but I feel like my whole self is screaming at him to become invisible. I know how awful ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: At 26 years old, I'm finally in a position to support myself independently. Despite the tangible indicators of adulthood, I still feel like I'm not ready for it. There are times when I feel like I'm still living as an inexperienced teenager, just pretending to know what I'm doing. I keep wondering -- will I ever genuinely feel ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was trying to send a text message to my friend, and it inadvertently went to my boss. There wasn't anything bad in it, per se. But my language was a bit racy. I used a couple of curse words and incomplete sentences. It was the shorthand I use when I talk to my friends.

Anyway, I was embarrassed to learn that my boss had ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I have been sick all winter. I know part of it is because I have been going too hard, but I don't know how to stop. My job has me out and about many evenings during the week. That came to an abrupt stop during the pandemic, but it seems we are back in full swing. The only times that I have stayed home have been when I...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work for a company that still requires employees to take a weekly COVID-19 test. I get it; the disease is not gone yet and may never completely go away. I have friends who have gotten it recently. So in theory, I don't have a problem taking a weekly test. My issue is that my company expects the employees to pay for them. The ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have serious concerns about my fiance attending a bachelor party. I don't like the idea of a bunch of guys drinking and making drunk decisions throughout the evening with my future husband there. I don't think it will end well. I want my fiance to feel comfortable and to have fun on his last night as a bachelor, but I am afraid...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm about to host my own birthday dinner. I want to invite a few friends out to a nice restaurant, but I'm stuck on how I should split the check. Do I pay for only my portion and expect everyone else to cover their own? Or should I ask my friends to split the total cost equally? I don't want to be tacky. How do I let my guests ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am about to turn 26. I am excited and nervous. I work for a small company that does not provide health insurance. I have been on my mom's insurance for my whole life, but that ends now because that's the law. I don't think I will be successful in asking my boss to provide insurance for me. We took a hit last year when we lost a...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work on a project with a woman who drives me nuts. First of all, she does not do a thorough job, which leaves me with a lot of cleanup work. Second, because we are working on this job together, I think we should review the work before sharing it with others. That way, if any tweaks need to be made, that happens before other ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My anniversary is coming up soon, and it's a big one. Normally I would go all out and host a big party, but I'm not feeling it. Half the time I am so mad at my husband that I don't talk to him. The rest of the time, we either act nice to each other but it's pretty superficial, or we yell expletives at each other. It's a mess.

I ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been with my girlfriend for two years now, and things are great. But I am starting to get a little bit uncomfortable with how often she posts about me on social media. It's nice that she wants to share our moments, but the attention she's getting can be a bit too much. It doesn't help that I'm not even on social media, and ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who has always had low standards for the men in her life. She goes out of her way to do everything for them and is consistently disappointed in the end because they don't even show a fraction of the same care she gives them. It's incredibly discouraging, and I don't know how to help her. Do you have any advice on ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am writing to ask for advice about how I should handle my employee moving out of the country while we remain a fully remote team. Obviously, she is allowed to work from anywhere she wants to, but scheduling has become a challenge because of the time difference. I'm struggling with finding ways to keep the team connected and ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel so bad. A friend of mine asked me to talk to her dad about a project he is working on. I agreed right away, but then I got distracted. First, I got sick with whatever bug is making its rounds. Then I got so busy playing catch-up at work that I totally forgot. I remembered the other day, but then I felt like such a loser ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I ran into a woman at work I hadn't connected with for more than a year. We have been saying that we were going to get together for dinner, but neither of our schedules would match up. I'm going to say we made dates and broke them about four or five times. When we saw each other today, it was really nice, but we both looked at ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work in a high-stress environment with an unreasonable boss. She often makes us work through lunch, sometimes without even having time to go to the bathroom. It's crazy, but when we are in production, she expects all hands on deck -- no matter what. The other day, I worked a good 10 hours without even having a bathroom break. ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: As someone tasked with interviewing people who have stories that may not be of particular interest to me, I often struggle with connecting to my subjects. How can I possibly be interested in something that I find lacking in any real personal meaning? It can be challenging to craft a thoughtful line of questioning that leads to ...Read more