ArcaMax

DEAR HARRIETTE: I hate my new manager. She's new to the team, and it is clear to everyone that her priority is asserting dominance and making sure her voice is heard and her name is known. Plot twist: She's my cousin!

When my cousin asked me to introduce her to the higher-ups at my job for a referral, I was elated. She has a stellar resume, and...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I started my current job during the COVID-19 pandemic, and at that time, everyone was working from home. This year, my employer has asked that we all begin working in the office again full-time. I live over an hour away from the office, and the commute is excessive. The cost of gas continues to rise, but my salary has not changed...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been looking for a fresh start for a few years. I didn't know exactly what I needed to change, but I felt disappointment when I'd reflect on my life. One day, I decided to change my location on LinkedIn and began getting some great job offers. For a time, I'd take interviews; when I'd get offered a job, I'd get cold feet and...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and I have always been close, but lately our relationship has been feeling strained, and I think it has a lot to do with how she constantly compares our kids. Every time we're together, she makes comments about how much more advanced her daughter is or how her son is better behaved. She'll say things like, "Well, mine ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: There's this guy I've been seeing, and now that we're official, I've been spending a lot more time at his house. I recently learned about a strange habit of his that I don't appreciate. He works in sanitation and often has early morning shifts. When he leaves for work, he walks outside shirtless. The first time this happened, I ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a college student. I am abroad for the summer, and I've made up my mind that I'd like to have a fling while in Europe. I haven't quite mapped out whether I'd rather it be a one-time thing or something ongoing while I'm here, but I do know I'd like to make the most of my experience away. The issue is that I am technically in ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is a wine connoisseur. She knows a lot about it and spends a lot of money on it. I don't have that kind of money, but I do enjoy wine and like to serve it when guests visit. I find my friend to be obnoxious about her wine tastes. I see her turn up her nose when she sees my selections. She has taken to bringing...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was recently offered a new job that I was excited about. It felt like a huge breakthrough for me -- the kind of opportunity I had been working toward for years. I went through multiple rounds of interviews, got the official offer, signed the paperwork and even started making plans to relocate. I told all of my friends and ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work in a supporting role in the entertainment industry. With the work I do and the reputation my company has in this industry, I have met a lot of celebrities and high-profile individuals. A friend of mine is currently looking for new job opportunities and shared what her ultimate dream job would be -- it happens to be with a ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I always feel pressure to be the "strong one" in my friend group. I'm the one everyone turns to when they're falling apart; I'm a level-headed, reliable friend who gives advice, calms tensions and somehow always knows what to say. I genuinely care about my friends and want to be there for them, but lately, I've been feeling ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: As we all know, there's a lot of controversy happening in the world lately, which often makes for heated discussions. The other day, a few neighbors and I were in the common room of our building, talking about some of the maintenance issues we've experienced in the building. Out of nowhere, one guy began sharing his thoughts on ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: If I'm being entirely honest, I am extremely jealous of my sister. She has always been smarter than me and prettier than me, and things just seem to come more easily for her. Growing up, teachers would always compare us, and even now as adults, I feel like people still put her on a pedestal. She has a great job and a loving ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have some friends who recently celebrated a big anniversary. They went all out for each other, hosting a renewal of vows and everything, but just for the two of them. I thought this was so sweet. Meanwhile, my spouse and I barely said happy anniversary to each other this year. It was also a milestone for us, but these days, it ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother and his wife are separated, and things have gotten messy. Because it seems that they have come to a standstill, now his wife's family has started reaching out to extended family members -- including me -- to encourage us to try to get them back together. I don't want to get involved. This is their business. I can't ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: Another manager within my firm told me a few weeks ago that she wants me to come work for her full-time. I have been temporarily supporting her because she recently lost her executive assistant, and we work together well. This switch could have me working in the human resources department, which I have been trying to transition ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: Retired licensed psychotherapist specializing in children and families here. With regard to "Out-of-Control Toddler," the parent struggling with a toddler who has started hitting, there is now much empirical evidence to suggest that the "gentle parenting" that your advice reflects is ineffectual, especially for toddlers and ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 12-year-old daughter is going through a phase where she feels like she has to match everything her friends do, what they wear, what they eat, the shows they watch, the hobbies they're into, etc. She constantly compares herself to them and puts so much pressure on herself to fit in, to the point where she won't even try ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My apartment lease ends in late July, and a few of my roommates have already moved out. While I appreciate that they cleaned out their individual rooms nicely, they left a ton of their unwanted belongings scattered throughout the common areas, and they abandoned random kitchen items, food and things they clearly didn't want to ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: A couple of months ago, I moved from Spain to the United States with my husband and our daughter. We settled in Los Angeles after we had done what we thought was careful planning. We saved up what felt like a substantial amount of money and assumed it would give us a good cushion while we adjusted and got settled. Reality has hit...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend and I decided to break up. It was mutual. We both had our own grievances, and, in my opinion, we'd hit our peak. I don't think staying together any longer would've made a great difference for either of us. Things got complicated because we lived together in a two-bedroom apartment. To be amicable, I offered to take ...Read more