Life Advice
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Asking Eric: Wife’s comments to son-in-law bother husband
Dear Eric: We are retired grandparents to 7-year-old twins who live close by. We are delighted to help with kiddo chauffeuring, grocery shopping or anything else needed by two very hard-working parents.
Today after dropping off groceries, my wife noted that the refrigerator, in her opinion, had an unpleasant odor and was very quick to share her...Read more
Mom's Emotional Distance Bothers Her Family
DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom has always been emotionally distant, and now that I'm an adult, I'm realizing just how much that's shaped our relationship. Growing up, she wasn't unkind. She made sure we were fed, clothed and cared for, but she rarely showed affection or talked about feelings. If I ever brought up something emotional or difficult, she ...Read more
No One Wants To Attend A Graduation Ceremony
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son is graduating with honors from a very selective university. My husband wants to invite family from both sides to attend, which would require everyone to travel out of state to a very expensive city.
Initially, we were going to host a nice party after the ceremony. Now it's completely off, due to volatility in my ...Read more
Breaking Up Without Breaking Him
Dear Annie: I've been with my boyfriend for over three years. We met when I was a freshman in high school and he was a sophomore. I fell head over heels right away, and we became official nearly a year later. Over time, I learned about his painful childhood -- absent father, a mother who had him young and has since moved away, a hostile ...Read more
Daughter Shows What She Really Thinks About House Rules
DEAR ABBY: We asked our 19-year-old college daughter, "Lulu," to dog-sit and housesit sit several months ago. She knew our rule of no visitors allowed in our home while we were out of town. Because of this, we didn't feel we needed to prepare the house by filing mail and documents away prior to our short trip.
Lulu had her new boyfriend of a ...Read more

Asking Eric: Parents’ house has become free hotel for friends
Dear Eric: I live in a small town about five hours from my parents, who live in the biggest city in our state. They have a beautiful home with a great downstairs room that is perfect to stay in when I visit. My father has Parkinson’s, so I make it up close to every month to hang out and try to make life for my mom a little easier. Sometimes I�...Read more
Harriette Honors Her Mother After Her Passing
DEAR READERS: Many of you may know that I rarely use this space to make personal statements. I am writing today to tell you that my mother, Doris Irene Freeland Cole, has passed away at age 95. Many of you may have already experienced the loss of your mother, while plenty more continue to be blessed with a mother ready to share wisdom, love and ...Read more
'appreciation Week' For School Staff Rankles Parent
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My child's school is having a staff appreciation week, which isn't a bad idea, given the effort they put in and how they enhance our kids' lives. What strikes me as extremely gauche, however, is that it's organized and run by the school, while asking parents to contribute.
This seems like the kind of thing that parents should...Read more
Love Met With Silence
Dear Annie: I never thought I would be in this position, but I have become estranged from my adult daughter. We used to be incredibly close. When she was younger, we had long talks late into the night, and we would laugh until we cried on road trips. I was there for every heartbreak, every success, and I truly believed we had a bond that would...Read more
Abusive Husband May Be Starting To See The Light
DEAR ABBY: I have been married 10 years. My husband is from another country, and the last six years haven't been easy. I've been the sole provider for our family, on the advice of our lawyer, while we were getting his paperwork complete (my husband refused to work illegally). I have stood by this man through thick and thin and endured his verbal...Read more
Milllennial Life: The Script is Ours to Write
I had a frilly pink dress in second grade that I only wore a handful of times. There are some photos of me striking some sharp poses in our backyard, but after I outgrew that dress, I didn't follow up with any similarly typical frilly costumes of girlhood. As I grew, I went with comfort over style for a long time -- and some might say even to ...Read more

Asking Eric: Brothers spar over 35-year-old loan
Dear Eric: My brother has children with whom I was extremely close when he and his wife got divorced in 1989. He never supported his kids, never paid child support and drank away everyone’s money, including $20,000 in rehabs that my parents paid for.
My brother asked me if he could borrow $5,000, and he would start making payments to pay it ...Read more
Love, Boundaries and the Thermostat
Dear Annie: I'm really struggling with how to handle my daughter's relationship. She's in her early 20s and is smart, funny and ambitious. I'm so proud of her. But I just can't seem to get behind her boyfriend.
He's not unkind, but he's ... aimless. He can't seem to hold down a steady job, he leans on her emotionally (and sometimes ...Read more
Son And His Wife Don't Seem To Want His Mom In The Picture
DEAR ABBY: I have a full-time job and am in pretty good health. I have one son, "Brian," who is married and has three children. My problem is that my son is often rude to me. I was a single mom who raised him on my own. I thought I was a pretty good mother. His wife is super sensitive to any comment I make and finds fault with almost anything I ...Read more

Asking Eric: After job loss comes shame and meddlesome advice
Dear Eric: I had a bad falling out from a very toxic job a few months ago. Since it ended, I’ve been dealing with feelings of shame and betrayal, but I’m doing what I can to clean the fallout from my brain. I’m in therapy, I’ve taken up some new hobbies, and I’m reconnecting with old friends. I’m taking some time off from full-time ...Read more
Nanny Not Getting Fairly Compensated
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm working as a nanny for a family I really enjoy. The position has been a good fit. The child is wonderful, the hours are manageable and I've developed a positive relationship with the rest of family. However, there's one issue that's starting to create some stress for me: Part of my responsibilities include driving the child ...Read more
When Can I Check My Steak?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: When serving a steak, the server will often say something along the lines of, "Please cut into the center to make sure it's cooked the way you want it."
At a business dinner of around 20 people, I was rather rudely corrected for doing so by someone who thought I was about to commence eating before everyone's entree had been ...Read more
Procrastination Today Could Cost Me Tomorrow
Dear Annie: I have a job I love, but I'm at risk of losing it because I'm lazy and I procrastinate. My job is mostly autonomous, which makes it a little too easy to put things off and not work hard -- but now it's catching up to me.
Do you have any advice on how I can become a harder, more proactive worker before it's too late? -- Lazy in ...Read more
Mother-In-Law Complicates Birthday Planning With Demand
DEAR ABBY: My husband's 50th birthday (we're both men) is approaching, and I wanted to have a surprise party for him. His family, my family and the two of us all live in different states on the East Coast. I thought a compromise would be to have the party in New Jersey (halfway) on a Saturday. I even offered to rent an Airbnb for the weekend, ...Read more

Asking Eric: Son family treats parents’ house like a storage unit
Dear Eric: My wife and I uprooted from our rural community and bought a home to be nearer our grown children who had both settled near the city. Soon after, our son and his family of four and a dog lost their housing as their rental situation failed after the landowner passed away.
Of course, we took them in and several months later they found ...Read more
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