Life Advice

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Health

Ask Amy: Readers criticize recent column; Amy responds

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Readers: I have heard from scores of readers extremely concerned about my response to “Avoiding Amanita,” the question written by a man who spends a few days each month with a group of buddies in a cabin in the woods.

To recap: “Avoiding” described himself as someone schooled in biology with expertise regarding the danger of eating...Read more

Ask Amy: An abuse survivor wonders about disclosure

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: My son and daughter are now middle-aged, and my parents have been gone for more than 20 years.

I've not told my children the whole truth about my parents. It was awful growing up in a house full of alcohol, anger, and abuse.

The reason I've not told them was that I didn't want to injure their memories of their grandma and grandpa.

...Read more

Ask Amy: Country living was great, until brother arrived

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: Our five family members share ownership of a remote rural summer home.

By agreement, each member can stay there up to two weeks a year.

Eighteen months ago, our brother became unemployed, unhoused, and has been staying in this house year-round, reluctantly leaving (late) when the other partners go for their annual vacation time.

Our...Read more

Ask Amy: Rock star retirement has pyrotechnic potential

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: A few years ago, I started a rock band with some very talented musicians.

We play for fun (not for money), and we’ve played before some very large crowds.

We have a very big gig in a couple of months and, because my heart’s not in it anymore and I’ve lived my “rock star” dream, I know that it will be our last.

Should I ...Read more

Ask Amy: Rock star retirement has pyrotechnic potential

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: A few years ago, I started a rock band with some very talented musicians.

We play for fun (not for money), and we’ve played before some very large crowds.

We have a very big gig in a couple of months and, because my heart’s not in it anymore and I’ve lived my “rock star” dream, I know that it will be our last.

Should I ...Read more

Ask Amy: Mom’s financial infusion harms her

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: I am the mom of three “adult” sons. One of them, who will be 21 soon, is not acting like much of an adult.

He chose to move out a little over a year ago, with no plan and no place to live. He has bounced between friends' houses, a short stay at his brother’s house, and with a family he met at a church he joined. I'm not sure ...Read more

Ask Amy: Young adult should not retire, but relocate

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: I’m 32 years old.

For a multitude of reasons, my personal growth was stunted after high school, and it took me twice as long to finish college than planned.

In that time, circumstances (like the pandemic), led to my parents’ premature retirement and prompt move to The Villages, Florida, from northern New Jersey.

Having not ...Read more

Ask Amy: Witness to unsafe daycare wonders what to do

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: My family has lived in the same neighborhood for 25 years. We’ve never had any issues – until now.

Our next-door neighbor, who has been here for four years, has decided to start a daycare in her home. (She has told us that she has a history of suing ex-employers and friends.)

The problem is that she doesn't supervise the children...Read more

Ask Amy: Husband confronts the call of his elder libido

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: My wife has advanced dementia.

After four years of being her sole caregiver, I had to place her in assisted living memory care last year.

After five months of psychotherapy and antidepressant medication I’ve finally conquered my deep guilt and sense of having failed her.

Time has shown it was the right thing to do. Our 55-year ...Read more

Ask Amy: Kindly atheist just wants to say ‘no’

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: I am an atheist. I believe in practicing kindness and respect for other people’s views.

In recent years, I have been working on becoming more honest about religious activities I would prefer not to attend. (These ceremonies make me very uncomfortable.)

I used to tell lies to preserve the feelings of people I love when I didn’t ...Read more

Ask Amy: Minor home repair leads to major hot mess

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: I’m a middle-aged man.

My sister who lives out of state and stays in touch with hometown friends connected me with one of her friends "Susan," who needed help with a minor home repair.

I did this for her, and we discussed a future flooring project.

Due to her budget constraints I suggested that we could do the flooring job ...Read more

Ask Amy: Friend feels selfish with response to grief

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: My childhood friend of almost 50 years recently lost a child to suicide. We usually only call one another on our birthdays, and I have not physically seen her in almost 20 years.

I have struggled most of my life with PTSD resulting from a sexual abuse trauma when I was 17.

I really did not begin healing until my current physician ...Read more

Ask Amy: Neighbors fret about divisive flag

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: We’ve been living next door to a very good neighbor for almost 30 years. “Charles” is helpful and friendly, and we genuinely like him.

His political views are 180 degrees different than ours.

Until now, it hasn’t been an issue, as we have plenty of other things to discuss (gardening, family, etc.), and we have kept our views ...Read more

Ask Amy: Lucky employee now sits on the fence

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: For years I have wanted to switch companies for a different position. The company I was interested in approached me out of the blue and offered me a great job. After several meetings and detailing all the particulars I gave notice to my current employer and while they were extremely disappointed, they wished me well.

Once I was ...Read more

Ask Amy: Polyamorous throuple ponders post-pandemic

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: I'm almost 50. I’ve been with my husband for 20 years.

We are stable and very much in love. We have chosen to be polyamorous for the past five years.

We didn't tell my parents (and definitely not the in-laws!), but one Thanksgiving just before the pandemic I was going to have my partner of one year with me (“Steve”), and so I ...Read more

Ask Amy: Nanny’s crush on dad may crush her

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: I met “Ben” the first day I began working for his family as a nanny about a year ago. I felt an instant attraction, but quickly let it go because he’s married, my boss, and I was married at the time. We had minimal interaction, so that helped, too.

Fast-forward six months, and my husband and I separated after years of strain. I ...Read more

Ask Amy: Soon-to-be ex ponders divorce disclosure

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: Should I accompany my husband to his parents’ house in order to tell them that we are getting divorced – after 32 years of marriage?

“Dan” and I have been together since high school and have lived within five minutes of my in-laws for 30 years.

We see them at least once a month.

After much careful consideration, we have ...Read more

Ask Amy: Fun guys make trouble foraging fungi

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: I have a group of three friends (we're all male) with whom I enjoy one overnight each month at a cabin in the woods.

We take turns cooking.

Recently two of the guys made a spaghetti dinner for us.

The next morning they told us that they had included mushrooms in the sauce that they had found behind the woodpile.

I was horrified. I ...Read more

Ask Amy: Mom and grandmother both play favorites

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: Our daughter has two daughters who are one year apart.

She very obviously favors the younger one.

Examples: She features a picture of only the younger one on her phone screen. We will talk at night with our granddaughters and when talking to the younger, the older one is always getting yelled at for something, while heaping positive ...Read more

Ask Amy: ‘Mean’ mom has extreme regrets

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: I am married with two children – a daughter who is 15 and a younger kiddo who is five.

I am sometimes a mean mom. I am impatient and I yell – often during fights or when my big kid is challenging me or not listening. This results in her crying.

This happens almost daily, and has happened for years.

I am not proud of my actions. ...Read more

 

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