ArcaMax

Dear Amy: I am the only “NOT-Morning” person in my family.

Talking in the morning, or any noise, smell, or stimulation really, isn't just annoying but actually more akin to painful. It’s like nails on a chalkboard, or being pinched – it elicits an involuntary reaction of cringe and a desire to retreat.

My mother takes this really ...Read more

Dear Amy: My BFF and I met in grade school.

We’ve lost touch on and off, but we always find our way back, usually when she’s losing a relationship.

The last loss was two Christmases ago, when after 10 years together her partner “Benny” called her at work, telling her: “This isn’t working anymore, I’m moving out today.”

It was ...Read more

Dear Amy: “Dear Daughter” is engaged to a great guy. She is finishing college and heading to grad school, so the wedding is likely 18 months away.

I like the groom, but he has some strong opinions about the wedding!

He wants a small wedding with only clergy, the couple, and parents present.

He says he organized his brother’s wedding by ...Read more

Dear Amy: My 82-year-old mother has an undiagnosed mental illness, marked by narcissism, paranoia, delusions, and abusive rages.

Beginning in my teens (I’m in my 50s now), she has caused long periods of estrangement over perceived slights, so she missed my wedding and the births of my children.

My father divorced her when I was eight years ...Read more

Dear Amy: My stepfather has two adult children, and my mother has three adult children.

Our stepfather died, and over time mother changed the will so all money she had inherited from him would go to her biological children (which includes me), instead of sharing it among all five.

She was not fond of the stepchildren.

My sister, who was the ...Read more

Dear Amy: I live in Colorado and have young children at home, as well as a job where I am constantly bombarded by sound.

I frequent outdoor spaces seeking peace, solitude, and the quiet sounds of nature – for my mental health.

I am dismayed at the proliferation of Bluetooth speakers, large and small. They seem to be everywhere! Hiking trails...Read more

Dear Amy: I've been a devoted supporter of a local nonprofit organization for 25 years. I am one of two continuous volunteers from when the organization was first founded.

When our executive director asks, I give advice, but I self-monitor and don't insert myself unduly.

I served on the board and at the end of my term was asked to continue as ...Read more

Dear Amy: I’m writing about my 20-year-old granddaughter.

She didn't get along with her father at home, and asked to move in with me.

She was having emotional problems and even at one point tried to end her life. She was also diagnosed with juvenile arthritis.

You can't really tell except once in a while, when she says she's in pain.

...Read more

Dear Amy: My childhood friend of 15 years and I lived together for three years as roommates.

We were amazing friends and great roommates to each other.

Two of the three years we cohabited were during the darkest days of the pandemic, so we spent a ton of time together. It was so fun.

When I met my boyfriend during the second year of living ...Read more

Dear Amy: I have recently found out via my younger sister that our father has been diagnosed with pancreatitis. This is the first time I've heard this, and am hurt that he hasn't said anything to me.

My father has always had a problem with alcohol. Last Christmas Day, my fiancé and I had a sit-down with him – an intervention, if you will.

I...Read more

Dear Amy: My husband and I have been talking about spending more time outside, whether it be working, camping, or just sitting outside.

I LOVE working outside and I LOVE working with my husband. We work so well together that when we get on the same page, we can get a lot accomplished.

My problem is that I've been so busy raising the kids (I'm ...Read more

Dear Amy: A new neighbor moved in. I left a welcome gift on their porch, like I do for everyone that moves in.

He got our number from a neighborhood directory and texted us a few times, inviting us to visit.

My husband and I went to their house and our children (ages 13 and 11) stayed home.

Upon entering, the husband said: "Let's get the ...Read more

Dear Amy: I'm writing in reference to my recent engagement,

I was alone for a long time and met a woman at work and fell deeply in love with her. Two nights a week, she comes to my place for dinner, and we are intimate. Then she leaves at 10 p.m.

Two months ago, I asked her to marry me and she said yes!

But our situation is very unusual.

She...Read more

Dear Amy: I was the disciplinarian while my children grew up.

I freely admit that I crossed the line multiple times in disciplining my son, but I have apologized many times.

I try to help each of my children, especially in terms of financial assistance.

My son is now 51 and lost his father (my husband) two years ago to COVID.

Then his wife ...Read more

Dear Amy: Twenty years ago, I had an affair that ended my eight-year marriage (after 15 years together).

I am extremely remorseful and even though I have apologized to my ex (and he has forgiven me), I can’t seem to forgive myself.

The phrase “once a cheater always a cheater” just plays on an endless loop in my head.

I hate myself for ...Read more

Dear Amy: I'm a 16-year-old girl.

I just started my junior year of high school. I'm doing a pretty good job so far.

My dilemma is that I'm worried that I'll never lose my virginity in my 20s because I don't have "experience” yet.

And whenever I read about people saying that they don't want to be with anyone if they're a virgin, it makes me ...Read more

Dear Amy: My daughter and son-in-law allow their 17-year-old son to drink alcohol in their home – and not just a sip of wine.

They believe that he will become normalized to drinking and not consider it “forbidden fruit” when he goes away to college.

Since there is a history of alcoholism in our family, I’m not convinced this is wise.

...Read more

Dear Amy: I’m a 53-year-old woman. Because of a stressful job I’ve had for the last 20 years, I have some friends, but making new ones can be a struggle when I’ve had to work 14- to 17-hour days.

More recently, I’ve tried to reach out to two women I’ve known for a while. Sadly, they both have kept their distance—one actually waited ...Read more

Dear Amy: I am very close with my first cousin “Landon.”

Landon is a robust and healthy older man. Unbeknownst to him, we are not actually cousins, in fact, we’re not related at all.

Years ago, I asked Landon to submit a DNA sample with the results coming to me, the family historian.

That sample revealed that his mother’s husband was ...Read more

Dear Amy: I have a daughter in high school. She is gorgeous, popular, does well in school, and excels at soccer (she plays on a regional travel team).

It is hard for her mother and I to understand why she seems to have low self-esteem. She is very hard on herself and sometimes seems consumed by doubt.

We’re interested in any recommendations ...Read more