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Erika Ettin: Going on a date isn't a waste of time

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

As a dating coach, I browse hundreds (thousands?) of dating profiles every week on every app imaginable, and a few phrases tend to repeat themselves:

“I like to travel and go on adventures.” Great, but who doesn’t? Also, what does “adventure” mean to you?

“I look younger than my age.” You don’t. Sorry.

“I can’t believe I�...Read more

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Ask Anna: Ready to come out? Tips for a smooth and empowering experience

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Dear Anna,

I’m a 20-year-old college student. I'm majoring in computer science and have a small but pretty great group of friends, and a campus job that keeps me busy. I’m also part of the university’s LGBTQ+ club, but hardly anyone in my life outside the club knows that I’m gay.

Here’s the thing: I’m ready to come out. I’ve ...Read more

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What you're doing wrong in dating... and how to fix it

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

As we enter the summer and all of the fun date ideas that present themselves (picnics, ferry rides, outdoor breweries—oh my!), many people reflect on the fact that they are single and don't necessarily want to be. While we obviously can't control chemistry (or the longevity of relationships), we can certainly control our approach to finding ...Read more

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Ask Anna: Caught my boyfriend on a dating app -- confront him or ghost?

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Dear Anna,

Six months ago, I ended my relationship with my boyfriend due to repeated boundary violations, including emotional abuse and dishonesty. Recently, he apologized and promised to change, so I hesitantly gave him another chance. Spoiler! This was a big mistake. Despite his sweet words, I felt something was off. Four days after we ...Read more

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Ask Anna: My girlfriend is still married: How to handle a separated relationship

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Dear Anna,

I have been seeing a woman who’s been separated from her husband for 14 months. We met through work and have known each other for over 10 years. The past 14 months we have been intimate and I have gotten a place for us to live. However, she recently told me that her gut is telling her not to divorce her husband over my concerns. ...Read more

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From 'it's a match' to first date: Steps for an easy transition from app to real-life

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

After what can feel like endless swiping, seeing “It’s a Match!” pop up on your screen can feel like a victory. But let’s be honest: The journey has just begun.

There are still quite a few steps between achieving a mutual right swipe and meeting face-to-face. From sending an engaging opening message to setting up a first date spot, a ...Read more

Q&A: These researchers examined 20 years of data same-sex marriage. They didn't find any harms

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Twenty years ago this month, Marcia Kadish and Tanya McCloskey exchanged wedding vows at Cambridge City Hall in Massachusetts and became the first same-sex couple to legally marry in the United States.

The couple had been together since 1986, but their decision to wed was radical for its time. In 2004, only 31% of Americans supported same-sex ...Read more

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Ask Anna: My boyfriend almost had a threesome -- now I'm questioning everything

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Dear Anna,

Hello, I recently discovered that, while we were on a break, my boyfriend had conversations with a gay man who offered him a threesome with him and some hot chick. I also know my boyfriend is into pre-op trans women but has never slept with one. So he says, at least.

I don't know what to do with this information and I'm overwhelmed ...Read more

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There's no substitute for time

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

In a world of instant gratification and constantly wondering “What’s next?” I’m not surprised someone sent this question to me the other day.

In fact, most days I get questions from people asking why a relationship ended when it did and wondering if they could have prevented the time and the heartbreak. Often, the answer is no.

...Read more

Hulton Archive/Hulton Archive/TNS

California settled no-fault divorce decades ago. Why is it back in the news?

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Ugly? You have no idea.

Every nasty little private thing a marriage could churn up, every infidelity, every insult and threat, every drunken episode and squandered paycheck, every crying child — there they all were, spilled out from a witness stand in a courtroom.

Then and only then, after wife or husband had exhausted the litany of the ...Read more

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Ask Anna: Does uncircumcised sex affect female pleasure?

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Dear Anna,

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a few months now, and our sex life is generally fantastic. He’s uncircumcised, however, and sometimes sex can be a bit painful. Is it possible his uncircumcised status has anything to do with it? — Puzzled

Dear Puzzled,

Pain and discomfort during sex are never fun, so it’s ...Read more

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Hive mind: Still the place to find your honey? Bumble bungles ad campaign

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

In case you don’t know, Bumble is a dating app founded in 2014 by Whitney Wolfe Herd, who was also a co-founder of Tinder. Over the years, it’s been known for its unique approach to online dating, especially with regards to how women interact with potential matches. One of the most distinct features of Bumble is that it requires women to ...Read more

Hrecheniuk Oleksii/Dreamstime/TNS

5 ways to combat online dating fatigue (because it happens to everyone)

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Burnout. We’ve all experienced it, whether at work, from school, over family obligations, or even due to a too-packed social schedule. We can also apply it to relationships — because it’s actually completely normal. Sometimes it stems from being overwhelmed (so many apps, so little time), and other times you find yourself feeling like you�...Read more

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Ask Anna: Tips for when your poly partner dates someone you don't like

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Dear Anna,

I’m a bisexual woman currently in my first significant relationship with another bisexual woman. Throughout my life, I’ve always identified as bi, but my past romantic involvements were primarily with straight men. I've been married twice and have three daughters. Despite my attraction to women, I’ve never dated one until now. ...Read more

Patrick Hruby/Los Angeles Times/Patrick Hruby

Can straight married men and women be friends? I went on a quest to find out

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Last fall I met a guy.

He had a thick mustache and was, by my estimate, at least 10 years my junior. We happened to sit next to each other at a dinner event at my social club. I'd recently watched "Wild Wild Country," a documentary series on a religious cult, and it was all I wanted to talk about. It turned out that he loved documentaries on ...Read more

Vitezslav Sispera/Dreamstime/TNS

Ask Anna: Navigating the ripple effects of a poly breakup

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Dear Anna,

My primary partner, who I’ll call Alex, and I have been in a loving, committed relationship for five years, and for three of those years, we've been in a closed triad with Sam. Our relationship with Sam grew organically and became a significant part of our lives, deeply intertwining with our daily routines and social circles.

...Read more

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8 places to meet people IRL that aren't dating apps or bars

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

When there’s a new couple around, it’s natural to ask, “So, how did you meet?” Most of the time, it’s one of these answers: through friends, at work, or on a dating app. Gone are the days when connecting through Tinder or Bumble came with an elaborate lie about a meet-cute that stemmed from sitting together on a plane … it’s so ...Read more

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Hi, Karen. I mean, Emily. Mixing up names more common than you think

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

As a parent, you’ve likely experienced the frustration and embarrassment of calling your child by their sibling’s or your pet’s name. You’re not alone, and you’re not losing your mind. In fact, a recent TikTok video has brought a 2016 Duke University study back into the spotlight, revealing this phenomenon is extremely common.

The ...Read more

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Yikes! You're stuck in a situationship. When to stick around or get out

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

LOS ANGELES — Meagan Culberson, 32, was on a third date with a guy she met on Hinge when she decided it was time to ask him a make-or-break question: What are you looking for?

They'd gone on fun dates and she was interested in getting to know him better, but only if they were on the same page. She wanted a long-term relationship.

When she ...Read more

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Ask Anna: Navigating friend flakiness: Is she just not into me?

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Dear Anna,

This isn’t about dating or sex so hopefully it’s OK! I’ve been having an issue with a friend who often agrees to plans but becomes unresponsive when it’s time to finalize the details. It’s left me feeling quite confused and a bit hurt. We’ll start discussing meeting up, and she seems enthusiastic, but then she suddenly ...Read more