Life Advice

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Health

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Barton Goldsmith: Mindfulness is an everyday pleasure

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Working in a garden, sitting quietly with a drawing pad or writing tablet, sewing or doing needlepoint: All are examples of simple, relaxing activities. They are often spoken of as mindful activities, as they fully involve your attention in the moment and improve different parts of your inner being. But you might be surprised at how even simpler...Read more

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Erika Ettin: The importance of valuing your mental health while online dating

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Starting the online dating process is scary but exciting. You take some nice photos, whip up a witty profile and start scrolling through all the possibilities, which seem endless. But if you’re like most people, the thrilling high is followed closely by lows.

High: You find someone who has an intriguing profile, from common interests to an ...Read more

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COVID-19 etiquette: How to handle awkward vaccine, church and family situations

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In this era of COVID-19, etiquette has often taken a back seat to bad manners. Many of us have witnessed an epidemic of disrespect and rudeness related to the precautions we are taking to protect ourselves.

We asked two etiquette experts for advice on handling the uncomfortable situations we have all had to confront: Yvonne Salas, owner of ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: A few ways to believe in yourself more

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We all need a boost sometimes, especially when something goes wrong in our world. When this happens to you, look around you, remember that you started with nothing, and know that everything you see, you created. Here are a few ways to believe in yourself more.

1. Take in the good vibes

Disregard what others tell you unless it’s positive. ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: The 5 love languages of 'The Bachelorette'

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The new season of "The Bachelorette" started back up this week, and, let’s just say, I’m addicted. (I could claim that I watch it for “work purposes,” but I’d be lying.) Now, why am I telling you my taste in reality TV?

It’s so I can relate the various Bachelorettes over time to “The 5 Love Languages,” created by Gary Chapman.

...Read more

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They blazed a trail for gay marriage. Now they're in California's Hall of Fame

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SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Gov. Gavin Newsom and First Partner Jennifer Siebel Newsom inducted the late lesbian rights activists and married couple Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin into the California Hall of Fame during a virtual Tuesday ceremony honoring six Golden State icons.

The couple shared a significant moment in their lives with Newsom when he ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: Why oversharing on a first date never ends well

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We’ve all been there: You’re introduced to someone at a party (isn’t it fun that gatherings are slowly re-entering our lives?), and by the time you can finally excuse yourself from the conversation, you know everything from the details of this person’s recent breakup to presidential election choice. Heck, there’s one occasion that ...Read more

Barton Goldsmith: Four tips to help you reach your dreams (even if you're starting small)

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Getting your start in life as an adult has become harder and more complicated than it was in the past. The pandemic has made things even more challenging. Here are four tips to help you reach your dreams. All of these I have done or seen others do.

I hope you can use some of these common-sense plans and ideas to help make your dreams a reality...Read more

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Erika Ettin: Should I research a date before we meet?

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A few years ago, when talking about the topic of online stalking or “researching” or whatever you want to call it, I would have said doing it before the date is not only not the norm, it’s also on the creepy side.

Fast forward to 2021, and, while I’m not saying I like it, most people’s norm is to do their “due diligence” before a ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: 10 things to do on days when you have no energy

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We all have days when we have no energy, and if you use some creativity, you can make these days work for you (even if you have to drag yourself out of bed). It’s OK to move a little slower, as long as you keep moving. Here are 10 things to do on days when you have no energy.

1. Keep smiling. As long as you have a smile on your face, other ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: 7 ways we love to procrastinate

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Procrastination is something we all would like to do less of, but change of any kind takes mental discipline and emotional fortitude. Here are seven different approaches to procrastination.

1. The I-Can-No-Longer-Ignore-This Scenario

Once your toenails poke through your socks, you know it’s time to trim them. When life is poking at you to ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: 3 ways to meet people

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Everyone wants that perfect meet-cute. You sit down next to each other on the airplane. Sparks fly. You talk the whole time. You exchange information. Boom. Match made in … the sky.

While all that sounds just lovely, one has to wonder just how realistic it is. We all have that one friend who it’s happened to, so we think it’s possible. In...Read more

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What does it mean for us to have a year with smiles hiding behind masks?

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CHICAGO — When we see someone for the first time, we interpret many tiny things.

In fact, at least 42 things — that’s how many muscles make up the face.

But since the pandemic began and mask-wearing became crucial, we are often interacting with people whose face we can only half see. And this goes both ways, eliminating our ability to ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: How our lives have changed since COVID-19

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I am grateful my wife and I are both healthy and my work has not been interrupted during COVID-19. But even with good health and work, emotionally the pandemic is still uncomfortable and scary and not a whole lot of fun. As a couple, we keep trying to make things better. In the past, we could just do whatever we wanted, but these days, we have ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: Real people, real feelings

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I have a client in her mid-30s —we’ll call her Sam — who went on a date last week with a guy who we’ll call Jason. Sam texted me the morning after the date saying, “I had what I thought was a great date with Jason last night… Great convo and connection, talked for 3+ hours, he kissed me at the bar and when I was getting an Uber.” ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: Simple ways to expand your online dating search -- without compromising your must-haves

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Starting on a new dating app or website can feel like New Year’s Day (usually without the hangover), and there are a ton of possibilities ahead. You can’t help but be a little giddy with hope and excitement. You set up your profile, pick your best photos and start narrowing down your search criteria to find your ideal partner.

But like a ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: Most of us are touch starved

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The pandemic brought the term “touch starved” to the forefront of our lives. It was very sad to see news clips of families standing outside hospital windows just to get a glimpse of their loved ones. Many people have died holding the hand of a medical caregiver instead of the person they have spent their entire adult life next to. It was and...Read more

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Cash is king for America's pandemic newlyweds

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After the first year of the pandemic put many nuptials on ice, Americans started getting married with a vengeance when summer arrived. Even now, couples are still rushing to tie the knot — albeit with additional precautions given the latest infection wave.

Were it any other time, this matrimonial flood would have family and friends ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: How to handle 'how did you meet?' questions when the answer is an app

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This is the week of the Jewish High Holidays, and a lot of Facebook and Instagram posts show photos of people around a long Rosh Hashanah dinner table with family and friends. (I personally don’t do anything for the holiday, save for eating some matzah ball soup, which I might do regardless!)

We’ve all been there — gathered around said ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: 7 things I am going to do after the pandemic is really over

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They say you don’t want to die with regrets. And after living through the last year and a half, you are likely to have a few — mostly related to what you didn’t do before the pandemic, when you could have done almost anything. Now the urge to live life fully has become ever stronger.

Pre-pandemic, we attended events several times a week ...Read more