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Erika Ettin: Too much, too soon? How to answer personal questions on a first date

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We’ve all been on bad first dates. Maybe your date doesn’t look like their photos, maybe your date was rude to the bartender or server, or maybe there just simply wasn’t a connection there. It happens. But perhaps the most awkward scenario is when your date starts asking you questions that are just far too personal — and maybe downright ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: Facing your moods

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Amelia Earhart once said, “The most difficult thing is the decision to act; the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process, is its own reward.”

Earhart was one of the bravest people in modern history, and she knew ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: A Thanksgiving like no other

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This last year has been tough for a lot of people, and it goes way beyond the pandemic, as we all know. Here are some things you can be grateful for, even in the middle of chaos.

First, having people gathered around your table under your own roof is something to be hugely happy about. Right now, many would-be buyers are priced out of the ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: Why I believe texting is the death of a first date (Morbid? Maybe. True? Definitely.)

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It seems like a natural progression: After matching with someone on a dating app like Bumble or Hinge, you exchange a few messages and the conversation is flowing well. So you exchange numbers … and most of the time, this is actually a death sentence for the first date (sorry to be morbid, but there’s nothing wrong with a little dramatic ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: Facing financial fears

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Since the beginning of this year, we’ve seen an uptick in depression and anxiety related to personal finances, and it makes sense. When everything is going up, you’re happy, and when the value of your estate or your paycheck goes down, you feel bad. Feeling depressed, more vulnerable or even angry is a normal response.

Almost everyone I ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: Your questions answered by a dating coach

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Q: Someone is running hot and cold with me. What is that about?

A: When someone changes the cadence of communication (like, lots of texting then not), you can — and should — ask what’s going on. You don’t have to adapt to someone else’s indecision.

Q: How do you let a guy know you want to see him more often?

A: “I want to see you ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: Do you check my boxes?

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I was watching "Bachelor in Paradise" this week (no shame!), and one of the women on the show, Victoria, broke the news to a contestant she was interested in (Johnny) that someone else “checked all of her boxes.” Johnny, rightfully annoyed and confused, asked, “What does that even mean? What are your boxes?” She went on to list things ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: Ways to make your day better

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Here are a few things you can do that will improve your life, no matter what else is going on. It’s best to practice them on a daily basis.

Start your day with appreciation. Instead of waking up with a moan and groan and not looking forward to the day, simply appreciate what you have. You may not like what you have to accomplish, or you may ...Read more

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Don't let the texting traps come for you during cuffing season

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LOS ANGELES — For weeks you've been exchanging paragraph-long text messages with your crush, but they've yet to ask you out on an official date — and now you're starting to feel antsy.

Perhaps you've dropped subtle hints that you'd like to meet them IRL — like mentioning the upcoming release of a movie that you've both shown interest in ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: You're putting words in my mouth!

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How many times have you heard something like this?

“I don’t want to waste your time.”

“I’m too old/young for you.”

“I’m too short/tall for you.”

“You’ll get annoyed with me trying to keep up.”

Generally, these lines are in response to an initial message on a dating app. For example, a client of mine recently — a 5-...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: When you're feeling all alone

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Have you ever felt so lonely that you thought your heart was breaking and you couldn’t make it through the night? Have you looked at your life and wondered where you went wrong and why you deserve to be and feel so alone?

Mother Teresa once said: "The greatest disease in the West today is not TB or leprosy; it is being unwanted, unloved and ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: 10 reasons dating apps aren't working for you -- and how to fix them

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Like it or not, dating apps and websites seem to be the way to meet new people and potential matches these days. While I’ve seen plenty of happy relationships and marriages start by this modern means, I’ve also heard all the shortcomings: “There are too many catfish”; “It takes up too much time”; “I’m not getting the matches I’...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: Getting your emotional affairs in order

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At every level of life, we are dealing with our emotions. It may be our career and goals. It may be our relationships. It may be our family’s health. It may be the state of the world. There are endless things we all feel something about, and those emotions can be a gift or a curse.

Please remember that if you are dealing with other people, ...Read more

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Hundreds of same-sex couples from China have officially gotten married in Utah – thanks to Zoom and a legal loophole

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At least 200 gay couples from China have been able to officially tie the knot, even though same-sex marriages are not legal in the country — thanks to technology, a legal loophole, and the state of Utah.

Utah County, the second-most populous county in the conservative state, began encouraging online weddings after city and state buildings ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: Solving life's problems

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The problem with problems is that as soon as one is solved, another will pop up for you to deal with. That’s just life, but if you prioritize your problems, they can be easier to deal with.

According to a recent article in Psychology Today, taking back control of your day and agenda is key to stepping out of the overwhelm. Considering your ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: Red flags vs. perceived flaws

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There are a lot of buzzwords that have been thrown around in the last year or so: gaslighting, problematic, boundary setting, toxic, normalize, red flags, green flags … and the list goes on. In many ways, I’m glad we’re finally able to express in words the actions or behaviors of others. But in other ways, I sometimes think these words are...Read more

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Why you may want to surprise a loved one with a small gift

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Remember those commercials that used to encourage us to “reach out and touch someone” with a phone call? They may have been on to something.

Research in the Journal of Psychology and Social Personality earlier this year showed that people in your social circle are highly appreciative of texts, emails or small gifts.

“Despite wanting to ...Read more

Barton Goldsmith: Taking better care of yourself

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Summer is over, and many of the activities that go with it are too. Time to break out the sweaters and get those walks in before cold weather sets in. It’s so much easier to keep your body moving and your diet on track when it’s nice outside.

In the winter months, we tend to crave more comfort foods that are usually higher in calories, but ...Read more

Erika Ettin: No risk, no reward

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I once saw a meme that said:

Me: I hate being single.

Also me:

— *Doesn’t reply on the apps for weeks.*

— *Cancels dates if I don’t feel like getting dressed.*

— *Cuts people off for the dumbest things.*

I hear things like this almost daily from both clients and friends. They complain about being single (and not wanting to be), ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: The art of knowing your boundaries

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A friend of mine went on a date recently. It was her second date with the same guy. Both are professionals in their early 40s in a big U.S. city. He seemed accomplished, stable, and not to mention, very handsome. She was excited. However, she did notice that, over text, he said some things that gave her pause. He cursed a lot, which isn’t ...Read more