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Erika Ettin: Clients seek answers to dating dilemmas

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Every so often, I get a truly great dating question or two from a client that I want to share with my readers. This week, I’ll be sharing two of these, one from a man and a woman, respectively, along with my responses:

Q: I went out with a woman a month ago for coffee (outdoors!). Then I went out of town, so we just got together again this ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: Finding new opportunities when the world has changed

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

These days, it’s pretty easy to get caught up thinking about lost opportunities. During the pandemic, you may have been unable to move your life forward the way you’d like — and been unable to see the gains you may have made. This can set you up for a difficult time emotionally.

It’s hard when you see that the 664 billionaires in the ...Read more

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With capacity restrictions loosening, couples hope for larger weddings. But they'll have to navigate tricky vaccination questions first.

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

CHICAGO — When Nicole Bowles and Hosein Heidari sent out invitations to their August wedding, postponed by a year from the original date, Bowles couldn’t stand the thought of trimming the guest list to fewer than 50 people.

So Bowles, 33, of Albany Park, sent invitations to the full 120-person group and hoped Chicago’s COVID-19 capacity ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: Expanding your search criteria… without compromising your deal-breakers

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Knowing yourself and what you’re looking for in a partner is essential to online dating, whether you’re swiping through apps or browsing profiles on a computer. However, all too often, people are more focused on what they don’t want ... and swiping left or clicking out of a profile as soon as they come across a potential conflict.

Two ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: A heartfelt thank-you to the mothers of the world

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

I cannot count the number of texts, emails and phone calls I have received that began with “My mother sent me this column you wrote.” All these moms caring for and continuing to nurture their now-grown kids — what a wonderful example of motherhood!

You never stop being a parent, even when your kids aren’t kids anymore. You don’t ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: Don't fall for the 'thrill of the chase' fallacy

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Someone on my mailing list — not a client, but a person who seeks dating advice — asked me this question via email:

“Is it good to have some secrets in a relationship? Isn't that one of the many things that attracts a person … a little mystery? Are there things that you should always keep to yourself?”

My response to him was short ...Read more

TNS

Barton Goldsmith: How to heal when someone has angered you

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

This has been a year like no other, and with all the goings-on, most everybody is agitated about something or at somebody else. Be it personal, political or pandemic-related, most all of us are holding on to some kind of anger. And that is never a good thing for the human psyche.

There is a lot of talk about unity, but a lot of people are still...Read more

Dreamtime/TNS

Erika Ettin: Vaccines are here! But online dating isn't back to 'normal' just yet

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

After an entire year of masks, hand sanitizer and social distancing, many singles are more than ready to jump back into in-person dating. But there’s a problem: Not everyone is as eager to move from messaging and phone calls to face-to-face just yet.

Millions of Americans are receiving the COVID-19 vaccine each day, and with each shot comes ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: 5 ways to ease your pandemic stress

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

The pandemic has changed all our lives. None of us are living like we were before this all happened. Most of us have more time on our hands, and it can be a challenge to keep yourself entertained when what you used to love to do isn’t available to you at the moment.

Here are a few things we’ve discovered have helped make this time more ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: Give yourself a break

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Like many creative people, I sometimes get bored with my “art” and have to take a break. Stepping back can be a great way to unblock your creativity. I just did this and came back much stronger.

This process has also proved helpful to my writer and musician clients. Hopefully, it will be helpful to you in overcoming your own creative blocks...Read more

Dreamstime/TNS

Erika Ettin: Eyes off the prize, please!

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

“Take your eye off the prize.”

I do realize this sounds counterintuitive, but hear me out…

In dating, many people see one goal is their “prize.” Especially with my clients, who have come to me, both emotionally and financially, in the hopes of meeting someone, that perceived “prize” is generally a long-term relationship, and ...Read more

Zbigniew Bzdak / Chicago Tribune/Chicago Tribune/TNS

Barton Goldsmith: Vaccine envy

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

So your friends who are front-line workers are getting their shots, as are the elderly and other essential workers. But when you see some younger people in line, it can make you wonder if they are jumping the cue or if they are legit. And that may bring up all kinds of uncomfortable and negative feelings known as “vaccine envy.” It’s ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: How risky is a little kissy?

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

There’s no question that COVID has changed the way we live and date. The only socializing we’re used to is social media and social distancing, and when someone is talking about a shot, they’re probably referring to the vaccine rather than an alcoholic beverage. But now that more and more people are eligible to get the vaccine, what does ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: Please pack your knives and go

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

I thought of "Top Chef" (the cooking reality show on Bravo) today for two reasons: 1. I saw a preview on my DVR showing that the new season, with COVID precautions, is starting this week. (Yay!) and 2. I took a Passover-themed matzah pizza-making class tonight via Zoom with Spike Mendelsohn, who appeared on the show over 10 years ago and has ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: Finding joy in the little things

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

I’m thanking the gods for social media, because I have no social life off-line. None, zilch, zero, nada. If it weren’t for technology, this plague would be so much more difficult, and I am grateful for the brilliant minds that are allowing us to continue being human even if we can’t hug.

I have always loved nature, and this past year each...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: How to survive another year of this pandemic

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

If you can read this, you are doing better than millions of others in America: You are alive and well. Even if you have lost your job or business and are struggling to pay the bills, remember that you survived the past year of this invisible war. This means that you can continue to survive, even though you’re not sure how, and you can dream of...Read more

TNS

Erika Ettin: Asking for what you need is not 'needy'

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

People sometimes wonder what differentiates a great relationship from a good one, or a good one from one that’s not working. While I am not a therapist, I have seen enough relationships through my job as a dating coach (and in my own personal life) that I am confident in saying that communication is the key to maintaining a healthy ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: Filling the void of a narcissistic parent

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

I have had very positive female support in my life, but the real truth is that my mother was a narcissist and was incapable of loving me. In fact, she really disliked me from the moment I was born, because I was a Taurus and so was the guy who left her at the altar (not my dad). I got all that negative projection from the day they brought me ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: Taking yourself out of circulation

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

I was searching for a client on Match.com recently, looking for men in her age range whom she might like to send a message to, and I came across this profile below (written verbatim):

“I’m tired of being rejected on this site by conceited, snobbish women who proclaim they are looking for an honest, humorous man, when in reality all they are...Read more

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Erika Ettin: Your work isn't your whole life — and it shouldn't be your whole dating profile

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

While browsing through Match.com recently, I came across a profile for a man with an attractive main photo. Thinking this could possibly be a good match for a client, I clicked through the other pictures. While I thought he was normal (always important) and handsome, his photos were all standard headshots that didn’t tell me much about his ...Read more