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Erika Ettin: 7 things NOT to do on a first date

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We’ve all been on bad first dates. When you think about them, are there any common themes? Below are seven things not to do on a first date. Whether you have chemistry or not, avoiding these things will make the date a better experience for everyone.

1. Talking about your ex/past relationships

If you’re talking about your ex in a positive ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: Divorcing or disowning a family member

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Some lawyers report that they see divorce filings spike in January. I guess people try to give it one last shot over the holidays, and when that goes bad, they pull the plug. What most family therapists have seen over the years is that this is also when people most often choose to end other toxic family relationships.

The new year can give us ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: Be a stand-up person. Don't stand someone up.

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It was 11 a.m. on a recent Sunday. My friend Stephanie was looking forward to meeting her date for a brunch they had scheduled over a dating app. She got there on time, sat down at a table and waited, assuming she had just beaten him there. When she finally texted him to ask where he was, she saw he had written, “I’m here.”

She looked ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: There just aren't enough nice people in the world

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My mother-in-law is going home to Europe after an extended stay, and I am going to really miss her. Since we’ve been living in COVID-world, life has been much less social, and having this very nice person around — even when we don’t speak the same language — just made life more pleasant.

She and my wife were always laughing, and I mean ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: Common timing vs. common values

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I recently held an “Ask Me Anything” session on my Instagram page, soliciting any and all dating questions that were on people’s minds as we enter 2022. One I want to highlight this week is the following:

“I’m a 38-year-old female dating a 41-year-old male. Both of us want kids. We’ve been dating for four months. What should the ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: Getting from one problem to the next as gracefully as possible

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Sometimes as soon as you solve one problem, another pops up to take its place. If you’re lucky, you get a problem-free day in between. The key is learning to take these problems in stride and navigating through them as gracefully as possible.

Doing this will make your whole life easier because you will no longer see problems as interruptions....Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: A new year and a new attitude

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Every year we get a chance for a symbolic fresh start and new beginning. 2022 is no different, but then again, it is. We are still living with COVID-19, which changes a lot of things. This is our new-normal new year, and it is far from what we have been used to, even if you don’t want to believe COVID is here for the indefinite future. That ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: 7 tips for dating in 2022

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In some ways, it feels like 2021 flew right by, and in others, it feels like it was the never-ending continuation of 2020. Let’s hope 2022 brings more health and happiness to much of the world.

In the meantime, I’d like to share some words of wisdom for dating in 2022:

1. Texting is the death of the first date.

When you are conversing ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: Ask about the vax, and you shall receive

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Last March, I wrote my first article about COVID-19 and dating, thinking things would subside in a few weeks. And then I wrote another one a month or so later. Then another. And now another. I never thought I’d be writing about COVID-19 and dating almost two years later, but thanks to delta and omicron (and my newfound knowledge of the Greek ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: All I want for Christmas is for people to start being kinder

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It’s the holidays, and some things are almost normal. Bing still sings “White Christmas” like no one else, Brittany put up her tree in October to add some light to her life, and many people seem more than ready for a good holiday season. But this year it also feels surreal.

We are still in a pandemic, and while this country has made ...Read more

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Christmas season is also catfishing season. Don't fall for a romance scam

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The season of holiday cheer is also the peak time for scammers offering bogus romance. Thousands of Americans looking for a new love to help usher in the new year will instead be beguiled by online con artists who use fake identities and empty promises to talk the lovestruck out of their savings — or worse.

More Californians report being ...Read more

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Sex apps for gay men join forces to fight online insults

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Corey Baker, a gay man in Columbus, Ohio, has seen many dating app profiles that include phrases like “Blacks — don’t apply.” Sometimes when he declines invitations, he said, men lash out with insults like “you’re an ugly Black person anyway.” And some of his friends have been slammed with the N-word in similar situations.

Many of...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: Dr. Barton's holiday gift list

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Living through the pandemic for nearly two long years has actually given us opportunities to make our lives easier. Some new products and services out there can also make great gifts for friends and loved ones. If you are in a giving mood and looking for ideas, here are some suggestions.

1. Virtual assistants

Many of us are working on multiple...Read more

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Erika Ettin: An interview vs. a first date

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I have a new client who we’ll call Sally. She lives in San Francisco, she’s in her mid-60s, and she hasn’t dated in over 30 years, since before she was with her late husband. Let’s just say that dating has changed a lot since then.

She and I had a few pep talks about first dates — what to wear, where to meet, who should pay (I’m ...Read more

Erika Ettin: 'I hate dating!'

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I was talking to a potential client recently who had signed up for a consultation call through my website. She told me that one of her friends had worked with me a few years ago. She’s in her late-60s, lives in New York City, is accomplished, and wants to find a partner now that she’s been divorced for a number of years… and COVID really ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: Lessons my pets have taught me

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Quadrupeds are great companions, but they are much more than that. These days they are our “fur babies,” and along with the unconditional love they naturally give, they also have a few things to teach us.

Here are some lessons I have learned from the wonderful animals in my life.

-- I am happiest when walking. If I absorb my dog’s high ...Read more

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This couple fell for one another singing. Now they're celebrating their 70th anniversary

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BOISE, Idaho — When Gloria Flister and Edward Skurzynski were dating back in Duquesne, Pennsylvania, a steel town on the Monongahela River, they'd go into the hills surrounding the small town.

They watched as molten slag from the Duquesne (pronounced doo-kane) Works, home of the world's largest blast furnace, Dorothy Six, was brought by rail ...Read more

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How to break up like a grown-up during the holidays

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Dec. 11 is statistically the most common day of the year to break off a romantic relationship. Yes, people have done legitimate math on this.

I shouldn’t be surprised. I’ve been dumped — twice — on Christmas Eve. In both cases, the guys did it via email. One said he’d found someone else; the other straight up admitted his desire to ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: You're not 'still single'

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A client sent me a text recently asking, “Can I ask you? Why am I still single? In your opinion? Maybe I’m not putting enough effort in? I want love to find me! Arghhh!”

I actually get questions like this more often than one might think.

I replied, “This sounds like a question that can’t be answered over text! You’ve obviously had...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: The search for inspiration

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We all want to feel inspired in our lives, and it’s good to get into the habit of seeking inspiration rather than expecting it to find you.

As a writer, I am always looking for new things to write about. The ideas that come seemingly out of nowhere are always the best, of course. I love writing from that place where my heart and head are one ...Read more