Routines, even boring ones, actually bring peace of mind, and who can't use a little more of that right now? It's harder to get back into good habits if you take too much time off. If you stop exercising or go off your diet for the summer (or the pandemic), you can lose what you've accomplished, as many of us have. Maybe it's time to reestablish...Read more
The world has been massively disrupted by the coronavirus pandemic over the past six months, and the dating scene is no exception - ask anyone who has debated meeting for socially distanced drinks with a complete stranger. Although singles are getting creative with ways to meet new people by replacing in-person first dates with Zoom, FaceTime ...Read more
Q. I've been single for about six months now. Granted, COVID has complicated "dating," but aside from the interesting conversation, the attention, and, in one case, decent sex, why do I feel so blah? Am I missing something? - Casual Dating Blues
It might be the added obstacles of pandemic dating or you might have low-level malaise or...Read more
Whatever your feelings and beliefs about COVID-19, it is painfully obvious to most people that life has changed and will remain different for some time to come. With the massive changes that we're experiencing, realigning our expectations will help us cope.
Writing off 2020 is not really going to help you emotionally. Putting your plans on hold...Read more
Let's say you have a job in mind that you really want to get. In fact, it's your dream job. It's the one you've been waiting your whole career for ... and you finally got the interview! (Insert pat on the back here.) Would it be better to start with that dream job interview, after years of your interviewing skills collecting dust, or should you ...Read more
You've joined an online dating site or app during the pandemic... since it's now pretty much the only way to meet new people. That's a great first step! But, as you've heard time and time again (probably from yours truly), it's not enough to simply sign up; you have to be proactive.
Being proactive means searching for people, or swiping, and ...Read more
There has been a surge in divorce filings since the first lockdown. A few months of constantly being with the person you vowed to love forever has been too much for some couples. I truly believe that at the core, those couples never learned to nurture each other or their relationship, but let's look at some of why they say it happened.
A few ...Read more
It's a relationship "rule" we've heard from our friends, parents, and grandparents alike: stay away from controversial subjects on a first date. But while not bringing up exes or religion can be pretty simple, avoiding talk about politics seems almost impossible - especially as the 2020 presidential election draws near, dominating headlines as ...Read more
Right now, due to the pandemic, many people have a little too much time on their hands. Our days seem to run together without our usual routines, and I'm no exception. After I've walked and written and gotten my work (both inner and outer) done for the day, if there's still a few hours of light left, my mind tends to wander and sometimes in ...Read more
During the first lockdown in spring, many people got very creative with how to deal with life, work, family, and staying healthy. We adapted pretty well -- so well, in fact, that many people are changing their lifestyles to get out of cities and live a cleaner and simpler life.
Now that working from home is part of the new normal, people who ...Read more
I was an early adopter of online dating. I started in 2001, when no one did online dating. Rather than hoping I'd meet my future partner, my poor parents just hoped I wouldn't meet a psychopath! (Years later, they caught on and begged me to let them buy me a membership. My, how times change.) Over the years, I started to come at online dating ...Read more
Right now we all have more than our fair share of problems, not just the pandemic, inequality, and the economy but also interpersonal issues, which can loom much larger with all of this. Here are some tips for staying emotionally balanced and getting those annoying problems solved.
1. Step away from a problem that is vexing you at the moment, ...Read more
I find myself giving this advice on an almost daily basis: "If you don't know, then ask."
I once got an email from a male client who had met a woman at a party the previous weekend (you know, when we were allowed to go to parties). She promptly found him on Facebook and suggested meeting for a drink. (Good for her for taking the initiative!) He...Read more
I'm diving into the COVID era of online dating and wanted to get your professional take on "ghosters"/"breadcrumbers" during COVID. Is it okay to give men I'd normally cut off when they fail to follow up/make plans an extra pass given everything that's going on right now? Long story short, went on a great (masked) first date two weeks...Read more
For the past couple of decades, we have been hyperfocused on "happiness." What it is, how to find it, who has it, how they got it, and where can I get mine? Is it meditation, visualization, diet, exercise, therapy, journaling, creating -- and yes, all of these help, but right now, I don't think there's any way to manufacture happiness when there...Read more
I went to my high school reunion last year (remember when there were in-person events?). At the reunion, I ran into a friend whom I hadn't seen, well, since high school. Out of the blue, he started telling me about a woman he was seeing -- and whom he had brought as his date. (Because of my job as a dating coach, people tend to open up to me ...Read more
We've all seen the cop movies. The situation is tense, the fate of the free world hangs in the balance, and instead of waiting for backup (as called for by the commanding officer), the hero plunges in headfirst to save the day.
In my case, it wasn't so dramatic. I had to carry a 50-pound bag of kitty litter upstairs, and I just wanted to get it...Read more
I got this question recently from a client:
"I wanted to share the details about my date on Saturday. It was OK – nothing to write home about – just OK. He's not someone I would like to get to know further, but he sent me a text a couple hours after I got home asking if I'd like to do it again. Do I have to answer it, or can I just let it ...Read more
Nothing lasts forever, a fact that the coronavirus has driven home very hard. But what happens to each of us when something creates global change? The obvious external changes can be easily seen, but what about the internal ones?
You may become depressed, anxious, traumatized, sleepless, or even just stop caring. If you recognize that this is ...Read more
You're swiping through Bumble. You see a handsome and well-spoken gentleman. You swipe right. You match!! You message him (on Bumble, the woman has to write first)... only to get no response. The 24-hour period where responses are allowed is up, and -- poof -- your match goes away just as quickly as he got there.
The question is this: If ...Read more
- Ask Anna: On dating ruts, reading between the lines, and dealing with annoying exes
- Barton Goldsmith: The importance of simple routines and connections
- Erika Ettin: Practice makes … less awkward
- Erika Ettin: A virtual date is still a date
- Barton Goldsmith: Adjusting expectations in work, play, and family