Life Advice

/

Health

Michele Ursi/Dreamstime/TNS

Erika Ettin: Decisive people get dates

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

I have an account on Instagram (@ALittleNudge) where I post online dating messages and profiles — often bad ones. I don't post them with the goal of making fun of someone, of course. Rather, I post with the objective of teaching people a lesson, often what not to do. The common theme of these posts is that each one highlights one particular ...Read more

Dreamstime/Dreamstime/TNS

Barton Goldsmith: My dog has a favorite person, and it's not me

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

I rescued my little Foxy several years ago. I wasn't looking for her, but she just crawled up on to my lap and went to sleep, so I took her home. She spent the night with her head on my pillow, and I knew she belonged with me.

It wasn't all green grass and fire hydrants. She had been abused, was not socialized well and not trained at all, so we...Read more

Dreamstime/Dreamstime/TNS

Barton Goldsmith: Tips for making the holiday special during a difficult time in our lives

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, and right now gratitude has never been more important. I love everything about this holiday, and this year it's going to be so different. We will all have to get creative to feel like we are having a celebration in the middle of a crisis. Our collective well-being is very precarious right now, and we need to ...Read more

Michele Ursi/Dreamstime/TNS

Erika Ettin: What can I write to attract a quality person?

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

"What can I write in my profile to attract the kind of person I'm looking for?" This is a question I get from clients almost daily. In their mind, they have a target partner. Let's say this "target" is a man in his 60s, well-educated, has grown kids, and lives in New York City. Or maybe this "target" is a woman in her mid-30s who is open to ...Read more

Michele Ursi/Dreamstime/TNS

Erika Ettin: Your burning dating questions answered

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

As a dating coach, I get daily questions from clients surrounding the entire dating process. This week, I have chosen three recent questions, all very different, and my responses. If you have others you'd like me to post/answer, please feel free to reach out to date411@alittlenudge.com.

Question:

Hi Erika! Now that we've given eHarmony some ...Read more

Jessica Oakley/Dreamstime/TNS

Barton Goldsmith: 7 tips for enhancing your relationships during the pandemic

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

If you are in a loving relationship right now, you are fortunate. The same goes for anyone with a loving family around them, but this is also a stressful time, and it can be hard on close relationships. You can also use this time to build your closeness and give yourself the gift of enhancing your relationships. Here are some ideas that will ...Read more

Handout/Dreamstime/TNS

Barton Goldsmith: My wife wants to be a vlogger

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

My wife has watched me write, blog, do media, and make speeches for a few years now. I've encouraged her to do her own video blog (vlog), too, because she is always watching them, but she hasn't been interested in the spotlight (or the inevitable anonymous bullying). I don't receive much of that, but she sees what people say about the people she...Read more

Dreamstime/Dreamstime/TNS

Erika Ettin: Coronavirus conversations: Why communication is more important than ever for online daters

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

We've all heard it before: open and effective communication is one of the keys to a successful relationship. Even after being married for decades, being honest and clear with a spouse — about the good, the bad, and the ugly — is a sign of a healthy relationship, even if it's not always easy. (FYI: It's almost never easy.)

Even more ...Read more

Handout/Dreamstime/TNS

Barton Goldsmith: Fears of financial insecurity

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Call it what you will, recession or depression — neither is good, and most everyone who isn't in the 1% is going to feel it one way or another. Tens of millions of folks are already unemployed and struggling to pay the rent or feed their families. Financial insecurity is also affecting landlords, some of whom retired on the income from their ...Read more

Dreamstime/Dreamstime/TNS

Erika Ettin: Dating and aging

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Client question:

"As you know, I've been seeing (Doug), and he's 11 years older than I am and it's been on my mind a lot, every time we see each other. So I just asked my friend who is dating a guy 10 years older what she thinks about the age difference, and she said she worries about his death ALL the time (which I was afraid of)... but he has...Read more

Elkov Oleg/Dreamstime/TNS

Video dating can keep cuffing season alive this fall and winter as COVID-19 lingers

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

CHICAGO: The weather has turned cold, officially kicking off cuffing season, the time of year when singles look for short-term relationships to get through the chilly months.

Chicago had a landscape ripe for cuffing season last fall, ranking fourth on the list of top 10 cities in the nation that were having the most sex and looking to casually ...Read more

Dreamstime/Dreamstime/TNS

Erika Ettin: Is Tinder a hookup site?

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

People ask me this all the time: Is Tinder a hookup site? (And if they're not asking, they're telling me, as if it's some conventional wisdom.)

My answer is always the same: Yes... if you both hook up. (Just for the record, I hate the term "hookup." I'm using it here only because it's become pretty much universal for a casual encounter of a ...Read more

Dreamstime/Dreamstime/TNS

Barton Goldsmith: How will you do Halloween this year?

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Oct. 31 has gone from scary fun to just plain scary. Adults may understand it, but the kids won't. So it's up to us parents to make them a Halloween that will be different but still let our kids celebrate in some fashion. All the members of my extended family have decided to stay at home and have a Zoom party for the kids (and a cocktail party ...Read more

Handout/Dreamstime/TNS

Barton Goldsmith: Be gentle with yourself

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Remember, back in normal times, when we could easily get mad at ourselves because we hadn't accomplished this or that? Well, these are not normal times, and some things won't be like they were ever again, so maybe the way we treat ourselves needs a little adjustment as well.

First of all, please remind yourself that none of what is going on in ...Read more

Dreamstime/TNS/TNS

Erika Ettin: If grandma gave dating advice

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Sit up straight! Look me in the eye! Don't cross your arms!

Who knew that Grandma was here to reprimand us in 2020? While my Grandma Henny never said anything quite that forcefully to me (though she did get upset when I wouldn't say hi to her when I was about 5 years old ... I was really shy), these are unsolicited pointers that a lot of people...Read more

Handout/Dreamstime/TNS

Erika Ettin: Don't disqualify yourself by qualifying yourself

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Raise your hand if you've ever encountered an online dating profile with a line sounding like this:

"You probably noticed that I'm a lawyer. But I swear I'm not all work and no play! And I know how to make a joke."

Now raise your hand if you've ever written one.

Seemingly innocuous lines like these can contain qualifiers. A qualifier is used ...Read more

ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images North America/TNS

Barton Goldsmith: A short pandemic vocabulary

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

A few words and expressions have taken on new meaning during this pandemic. Here are some.

1. Pivot: To change direction in order to accommodate the pandemic. Outside restaurant seating, doing therapy and medical consultation virtually, finding new ways to connect with friends and family on Zoom, and saying "Unmute yourself" too often.

2. ...Read more

Jose Manuel Gonzalez/Dreamstime/TNS

Erika Ettin: Discussing exclusivity in the age of coronavirus

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

DTR, when strung together in that order, might just be the scariest three letters in the English language for singles. For those who can't keep up with the ever-evolving and ever-growing list of acronyms associated with the world of online dating, DTR stands for "defining the relationship" - AKA (OK, I'll stop with the acronyms now) the dating ...Read more

NIAID/NIAID/TNS

Barton Goldsmith: Making good use of 'the new normal'

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

I always wanted to be among the best in my field, and that desire has made coping in COVID country much more complicated. With many events for 2021 already cancelled and big business telling team members that they can work at home from now on, the winds of change are going to be with us for a long time, but it is not all bad.

Pretty much most ...Read more

Irina Kryvasheina/Dreamstime/TNS

Barton Goldsmith: The importance of simple routines and connections

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Routines, even boring ones, actually bring peace of mind, and who can't use a little more of that right now? It's harder to get back into good habits if you take too much time off. If you stop exercising or go off your diet for the summer (or the pandemic), you can lose what you've accomplished, as many of us have. Maybe it's time to reestablish...Read more