Life Advice

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Health

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Barton Goldsmith: Give yourself a break

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Like many creative people, I sometimes get bored with my “art” and have to take a break. Stepping back can be a great way to unblock your creativity. I just did this and came back much stronger.

This process has also proved helpful to my writer and musician clients. Hopefully, it will be helpful to you in overcoming your own creative blocks...Read more

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Erika Ettin: Eyes off the prize, please!

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“Take your eye off the prize.”

I do realize this sounds counterintuitive, but hear me out…

In dating, many people see one goal is their “prize.” Especially with my clients, who have come to me, both emotionally and financially, in the hopes of meeting someone, that perceived “prize” is generally a long-term relationship, and ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: Vaccine envy

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So your friends who are front-line workers are getting their shots, as are the elderly and other essential workers. But when you see some younger people in line, it can make you wonder if they are jumping the cue or if they are legit. And that may bring up all kinds of uncomfortable and negative feelings known as “vaccine envy.” It’s ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: How risky is a little kissy?

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There’s no question that COVID has changed the way we live and date. The only socializing we’re used to is social media and social distancing, and when someone is talking about a shot, they’re probably referring to the vaccine rather than an alcoholic beverage. But now that more and more people are eligible to get the vaccine, what does ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: Please pack your knives and go

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I thought of "Top Chef" (the cooking reality show on Bravo) today for two reasons: 1. I saw a preview on my DVR showing that the new season, with COVID precautions, is starting this week. (Yay!) and 2. I took a Passover-themed matzah pizza-making class tonight via Zoom with Spike Mendelsohn, who appeared on the show over 10 years ago and has ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: Finding joy in the little things

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I’m thanking the gods for social media, because I have no social life off-line. None, zilch, zero, nada. If it weren’t for technology, this plague would be so much more difficult, and I am grateful for the brilliant minds that are allowing us to continue being human even if we can’t hug.

I have always loved nature, and this past year each...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: How to survive another year of this pandemic

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If you can read this, you are doing better than millions of others in America: You are alive and well. Even if you have lost your job or business and are struggling to pay the bills, remember that you survived the past year of this invisible war. This means that you can continue to survive, even though you’re not sure how, and you can dream of...Read more

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Erika Ettin: Asking for what you need is not 'needy'

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

People sometimes wonder what differentiates a great relationship from a good one, or a good one from one that’s not working. While I am not a therapist, I have seen enough relationships through my job as a dating coach (and in my own personal life) that I am confident in saying that communication is the key to maintaining a healthy ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: Filling the void of a narcissistic parent

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I have had very positive female support in my life, but the real truth is that my mother was a narcissist and was incapable of loving me. In fact, she really disliked me from the moment I was born, because I was a Taurus and so was the guy who left her at the altar (not my dad). I got all that negative projection from the day they brought me ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: Taking yourself out of circulation

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I was searching for a client on Match.com recently, looking for men in her age range whom she might like to send a message to, and I came across this profile below (written verbatim):

“I’m tired of being rejected on this site by conceited, snobbish women who proclaim they are looking for an honest, humorous man, when in reality all they are...Read more

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Erika Ettin: Your work isn't your whole life — and it shouldn't be your whole dating profile

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While browsing through Match.com recently, I came across a profile for a man with an attractive main photo. Thinking this could possibly be a good match for a client, I clicked through the other pictures. While I thought he was normal (always important) and handsome, his photos were all standard headshots that didn’t tell me much about his ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: Depression hacks to lighten your life

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Before the pandemic, more than 40 million people suffered with depression, and now you can likely double that number, maybe triple it. Fortunately, this problem is mostly situational, directly related to this plague-induced half-life in which we have been living for over a year now.

Here are five simple (for the most part) little things you can...Read more

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On vacci-dating: Singles seem enamored of sharing vaccination status online. Is that wise?

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

As cold weather descended upon Washington, D.C., last fall, I deleted my dating apps.

I had tried a few video-chat dates when the pandemic was new last spring. They were fun and novel at the time, and felt like a “quarantine experience.” By summer, I went on several physically distant dates in the park.

But once the temperature started ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: The quick and dirty on the dating apps

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Many people think that writing an online dating profile is a one-time job, and they rarely change it based on its success (or lack thereof). They also try to write it as quickly as possible.

This is actually one thing that you should really spend your time on … even on the dating apps like Tinder and Bumble, where a “profile” is usually ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: A life without pleasure, the pain of anhedonia

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Located somewhere between sadness (when your life isn’t going the way you want it to) and depression (when you can’t get out of bed) is the pit of anhedonia. Simply described, it is the inability to feel pleasure, but that hardly covers just one aspect of this seldom-discussed disorder.

Anhedonia can refer to reduced desire and reduced ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: How to stay in emotional balance

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The first thing to understand about emotional balance is that to keep it, you have to be constantly moving, but it’s inner movement, not break dancing. If you seek peace of mind, please know that it requires continual practice, but once you learn the basics, the practice becomes a valued part of your lifestyle.

Isn’t it interesting, how you...Read more

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Erika Ettin: How to have a great first date

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

While a lot of the advice I give revolves around how to get the first date, even more important is how to nail that first date. First dates — even on Zoom (or maybe especially on Zoom) — can be nerve-wracking, whether you’re a seasoned dater or not. Let’s take a look at some tips for the all-important first date, in whatever form it ...Read more

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Barton Goldsmith: All bad things in life start with a lie

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

All bad things in life start with a lie. Perhaps it’s one of the lies you tell yourself, like “I’m not good enough.” That lie can hold you back from many things. Then there are the lies others tell you to manipulate their way to getting what they want. That may cost you some money, time, and heartache, but you do recover and learn. ...Read more

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Erika Ettin: Mask up in public, but mask down in your online dating photos

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

We are all living — and therefore dating — in odd times. Amid the coronavirus pandemic, more consideration must go into meeting with new people face-to-face, talking about exclusivity, and so much more.

While many people have updated their dating bios to reflect the current state of the world (and if you haven’t, please do), like ...Read more

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Lonely? You're not alone. Matchmakers are busier than ever during the pandemic

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

There has been no shortage of single women seeking Evin Rose's advice during the pandemic.

A typical day for the Los Angeles-based dating coach starts with a team meeting to work on marketing copy for her new course on cultivating self-worth, then posting a mini training to Instagram to help her nearly 14,000 followers upgrade their self-talk. ...Read more