A major dating philosophy of mine (and I’ll admit I have many) is, “You have to hold yourself to the same standard as the person you’re looking for.”

I’ll give an example to illustrate what I mean by this. I was working with a client a few years ago — nice guy in his early 40s — and at one of our meetings, he expressed to me what ...Read more

Contentment is different from happiness, and it's subtler. Contentment is a basic sense of satisfaction about your life and situation. While it can lead to a more constant flow of the happy vibe, contentment is also just a good place to be. Here are a few things to keep in mind.

1. No one can be happy all the time, so try settling for ...Read more

A former client sent me a screenshot of a conversation she had with a man who she had not yet met and asked for my advice. At 9 p.m. Thursday, he suggested a day (Saturday), time (3 p.m.) and location (cute coffee shop). All of the details were set! At 7 a.m. the next day, she replied with, “Perfect! I will see you then!”

But she didn’t ...Read more

Getting rid of a toxic person in your life can be difficult and painful, but it’s well worth the effort. Most unfortunately and sadly, the person you would be better off staying away from may be a member of your own family or someone you live with.

The anxiety and depression that toxic narcissists project can be damaging to your psyche and ...Read more

There are a million reasons why you might want to pause or take a break from dating apps: You’re traveling, you’re overwhelmed, you’ve met someone new. Personally, I love when my clients have to take a pause because they’ve met someone they’re interested in and want to pursue.

But a lot of pauses are just that — a pause. Deleting ...Read more

Everyone is cutting back. It’s the new thing to do. And it does make you feel good about yourself when you can save a few bucks or make a few hundred more than expected. Here are some ideas that may work for you.

— If you need help on rent or the mortgage, consider getting a roommate. Of course, you will need to make some compromises, ...Read more

I just had the biggest disappointment of this very tough year: My publisher is delaying the release of my latest book, “until market conditions change.” This is a biggie for me, and I am sharing it with you, because I want you to know that, even with all I have and all the humans I touch, it made me want to give up.

I like to think it’s ...Read more

When I started my business back in 2011 (sometimes it feels like time has flown, and sometimes it feels like I’ve been doing this forever), the only online dating sites in existence were ones with long profiles that you can only check on your computer (Tinder didn’t come out until 2012). Now, people have options — paid vs. free sites, “...Read more

If an argument were a tennis match, many of us would tear right through the net during a frenzy of back-and-forth spatting.

That’s a situation hundreds of Stanford students learned to avoid in one of the business school’s most popular electives for decades. Now the masterminds behind the course, David Bradford and Carole Robin, want ...Read more

This morning on Instagram, I posed a query to my followers: What questions do you have regarding planning a date?

The questions ran the gamut, but the general theme was that people seem to overthink everything. Now, I’m certainly not judging — I’ve been one to overthink situations myself — but as an unbiased third party, I can tell you ...Read more

MINNEAPOLIS — Larry Bans and Tom Edelstein met crabby.

It was their first day of seventh grade, and the outgoing Edelstein turned around to introduce himself to Bans at the morning assembly at Highland Park Junior High in St. Paul.

"I know who you are," Bans whined, having done his intel.

It turns out that they were trying to date the same ...Read more

I was on a Zoom call this morning with a client doing a coaching call (it was our third of three). In the first session, we went over his Hinge and Bumble profiles to make sure he was putting his best foot forward, both through the photos and the profile itself. In the second session, we talked about what kinds of messages to send to people in ...Read more

Time is our most valuable asset, and wasting it is not good for your psyche. If you’re in line at the bank, stuck at the office or trapped at home hoping the plumber will arrive soon, you can do a number of things to enhance your life, and not just wait for the time to pass.

1. Get out your phone and do some work or play. You can listen to ...Read more

At the bowling alley, Julia Prendergast carefully worked the joystick on her friend’s wheelchair, positioning her perpendicular to the lane.

She brushed a wisp of hair off Tyme Fiedorczyk’s face and adjusted her glasses. Tyme has cerebral palsy, which impairs her muscle coordination; to talk, she must type into an electronic device; to move...Read more

I have a former (male) client who has what I’ll call “a ghosting pattern.” He will text someone after a date he thinks went well to ask her out again. She doesn’t answer. He writes to her again. She doesn’t answer again. He writes again (maybe this time on Facebook and LinkedIn also) … you get it. While most of us can see she’s ...Read more

Bullies are not just limited to the schoolyard. Workplace bullies are all too common, as are bullies at home. And of course, there is no shortage of social media bullies, or those who like to make their demands known publicly. We also have — and there are those who even applaud — a few celebrity bullies. Not exactly a good example to set for...Read more

LOS ANGELES -- In the classic TV sitcom "Seinfeld," the boundary-violating friendship is played for laughs. When across-the-hall neighbor Kramer, practically the patron saint of overstepped boundaries, forages fridges, borrows clothes or barrels uninvited into Jerry's apartment, it's comedy gold. In real life, though, setting boundaries with ...Read more

According to the Mayo Clinic, “suicidal thoughts are the result of feeling like you can’t cope when you’re faced with what seems to be an overwhelming life situation.” The tension and sadness of anxiety and depression have led many people to making the ultimate mistake of stepping out of life before their time. This is something that ...Read more

Writing an online dating profile is daunting, but I probably don’t need to tell you that. As if talking about yourself isn’t hard enough already, you have to try to convey who you are, share your hobbies and interests, give a little bit of your background, include elements of your personality and express what you’re looking for in a ...Read more