ArcaMax

Dear Eric: My husband of more than 20 years has a brother. They have a toxic relationship, yet love each other. They would talk on the phone every day.

They live a long distance from each other, and I am grateful for that because whenever they are together, the brother gets drunk and they fight, physically. The brother will provoke him by ...Read more

Dear Eric: Our son recently went through a heartbreaking and contentious divorce. There is a young child involved and joint custody has been determined.

Our contact with the former spouse is nonexistent although we regularly care for, spend time with, and dearly love our grandchild.

I have been struggling with what to do with the many photos ...Read more

Dear Eric: We recently traveled to a nearby city to visit my mother. While we were there, Mom’s friend Helen stopped by for a visit. We have met Helen before and know her to be a hugger.

My 16-year-old daughter Missy, in order to avoid the inevitable hug, stationed herself on the far side of the dining room table but Helen, not to be denied, ...Read more

Dear Eric: I am 62 (F) and my husband is 65 (M). While our older children have good jobs and work hard for their families, our youngest child, well, doesn't.

Our child can't seem to hold a job, getting laid off or leaving them. He has been unemployed, once again, since June. And now we found out that his wife is getting laid off at the end of ...Read more

Dear Eric: I’m the oldest of three. My middle sibling has routinely been to the home of our youngest sibling to pick up a niece for childcare. This middle sibling recently shared with my parents that the youngest sibling’s home is in a state of unsafe disarray.

The home has always been cluttered but apparently, it’s gotten to a point of ...Read more

Dear Eric: I have two brothers with storied pasts from 60 years ago. My older brother had a daughter when he was a teenager. Only I know this. He is now deceased. Should I tell his family?

My younger brother molested my niece (my older brother’s daughter) over an eight-year period. His wife doesn’t know this and wonders why he has no ...Read more

Dear Eric: I have been friends with a woman for about 12 years. We have many shared interests and have had fun “adventuring” together. When I met her, she was married but has since become widowed.

Her relationship with her husband was “cringe-worthy” from my perspective. She was always in charge, told him what to do and how to do it, ...Read more

Dear Eric: I’ve been friends with a wonderfully quirky woman for decades. We’ve known each other since we were very young children. I frequently invite her to various family events, especially holidays, such as Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas because these tend to be big celebrations in my family.

Unfortunately, over the last couple of ...Read more

Dear Eric: I am 75 years old. My wife and I have been married for 45 years. My wife suffers from treatment-resistant depression and/or bipolar disorder. My wife has been undergoing treatment of various kinds for 30 years without success.

Mental health professionals and close friends have told me that my wife is damaging my mental health and ...Read more

Dear Eric: My mother-in-law's Christmas card always includes a top 10 list. It mainly revolves around family gatherings and grandkids. A few years back, her list included my husband's two brothers and their families but no mention of us and our three amazing kids.

We are always hosting because we live closest to them but somehow, she only ...Read more

Dear Eric: I enjoy one to two glasses of wine in the afternoon. My grandson, five years old, was told by his parents that alcohol is poison. He knows that two of his relatives died from alcohol abuse.

My son requested I not drink when we visited them and I complied. When the family came to my house to visit, I had a glass of wine and my ...Read more

Dear Eric: My older sister and I have always had a complicated relationship. I was the “golden child,” which she (rightfully) resented.

In recent years she has recounted “memories” of our family that invariably paint me and our mother in an unflattering light. Once she mentioned in passing a time “when you were a drug addict in high ...Read more

Dear Eric: My 30-year-old daughter has been in a serious relationship with her 31-year-old boyfriend for more than six years.

They got an apartment, but she had difficulty finding a job in the city where they lived and so she moved back home with me. But for the past 18 months, she continues to pay half her boyfriend's rent.

She works full ...Read more

Dear Eric: I can’t stop gossiping. I love it. I love talking trash. I feel no remorse about it at all. But my spouse hates it when I do it and it’s become an issue with us. I gossip with friends. I gossip on the phone. I gossip when I’m out. I don’t need to gossip with my spouse. But he says it paints me in a negative light. He won’t ...Read more

Dear Eric: I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about five years. I recently reconnected with a friend from college who I’ve really missed. After we hung out a few times, I introduced my college friend to my boyfriend at a casual dinner.

Things did not go well.

It turns out they went to middle school together. My boyfriend says that my ...Read more

Dear Eric: I have a typical 15-year-old teenage girl. She is my world and I do everything I can for her, knowing the general cold teenage response I will get. It usually doesn’t bother me.

Recently she has been wanting money for hanging out. There was a contest from my employer to draw a safety picture and win $100. She decided to enter it, ...Read more

Dear Eric: I'm writing about my 64-year-old sister I'll call "Beth."

We are three sisters. Mom passed away nine years ago. Dad is 89, living in another province.

For her own reasons Beth has a hatred toward him. She complains she gets a 45-second call once a week about how he drank and gambled away the money he got from a brother.

I look at ...Read more

Dear Eric: I really cannot tell if I’m the problem at work. I’ve been on a team for the last four years. We mainly focus on one project. Other members of the team have joined or fallen away, but the core group has been largely the same.

At the beginning I had my doubts about some of the people and their work styles. A few members seemed to ...Read more

Dear Eric: My husband and I are the fortunate recipients of our parents' inheritances. We worked hard and lived within our means, so we are secure in our retirement, and this money is not needed but a generous gift.

I would like to use this money for enrichment of my life and my friends’ lives, like picking up the check or paying for vacation...Read more

Dear Eric: I have been a teacher for 19 years. I have seen a lot. As a mandated reporter I have had to make the call to the authorities with some frequency. I have also had other children who had prior abuse and I was always a shoulder to cry on when needed. I have felt intense sadness at times, as when a student’s sibling was murdered. I ...Read more