ArcaMax

Dear Eric: Like many women in perimenopause, when my hormones started getting out of whack, I gained about 25 pounds due to a sudden and uncontrollable hunger (estrogen helps moderate ghrelin, the hunger hormone). When I finally started hormone replacement therapy, I got the constant hunger and other issues back under control and worked hard to ...Read more

Dear Eric: My niece, age 31, is getting married in the fall and has told me that I can't bring my boyfriend ("S") of five years because there isn't "room." I offered to pay for his meals, extra seating, et cetera, but she will not budge.

I found out that the real reason is that she hasn't met him and they only want people they know at the ...Read more

Dear Eric: I have had a friend “Tillie,” for 35 years, and I love her dearly. We have been through a lot together and helped each other through many tough times. But Tillie has changed over the past few years. Essentially, she has become what I would call a “taker.”

For example, she looks to others to treat her to lunches but never ...Read more

Dear Eric: In the spring I attended an event and sat next to a woman around my age who was absolutely delightful. We discovered we had a lot in common and had a great old time.

At that luncheon I was willing to share personal things right away and I know I gave off messages that would suggest that I am indeed open to a closer relationship. I ...Read more

Dear Eric: I recently discovered that my younger brother (age 72) has been taking advantage of my elderly uncle (age 92), who has dementia. My cousin, who thankfully has power of attorney, uncovered checks made out to the brother. The brother initially denied the checks, but when confronted with the evidence, he rationalized them by claiming the...Read more

Dear Eric: A few years ago, my 24-year-old child came out as nonbinary and chose a new name, “Avery.” While the adjustment hasn’t always been easy, most of our immediate family now use Avery’s new name and pronouns. The exception is my husband’s parents, especially my father-in-law, who does not accept Avery’s identity and has ...Read more

Dear Eric: A year and a half ago, I moved in with my mother. It was her idea, as I was having financial and health difficulties. I resisted at first, but eventually it became my only option.

My life situation improved for a while, but I recently resigned from a stressful job at her urging. I am close to retirement age and have had difficulty ...Read more

Dear Eric: I had a casual friend, Casey, in high school but didn't reconnect until a few years ago. She is driving me crazy with her relentless, impossible to answer questions, as well as her predicting and assuming what my family members will do or say in any given circumstance, despite never meeting them.

At one point, when I had surgery, she...Read more

Dear Eric: My 93-year-old Dad passed away recently, and my brother and I are planning a memorial service. Our mother died several years ago. Mom and Dad stayed married despite the fact that Dad came out as gay around 2000. He had a very close relationship with a man, “Douglas,” for many years, although they were just friends when Dad died.

...Read more

Dear Eric: After two decades working in the same organization and several years in my actual position, I've been wanting a change. I actually like my job but now in my mid-40s feel like I need to change things up for the second half of my career.

Between my wife's income and some savings, we could get by financially for a while.

I've resigned ...Read more

Dear Eric: Yesterday a cousin sent me a photo of a group of family members taken the morning after my father's funeral about 30 years ago. It included my mother, two sisters, an uncle, my brother-in-law and me. Most of us were still in our nightclothes, as it was taken early in the morning before other relatives left to return home.

With the ...Read more

Dear Eric: My spouse is unable to say "Oops, sorry." He automatically denies having done the thing or blames me or my son – even if he literally just did it in front of me/us.

It's been an issue for decades. We first went to counseling because he left a shower head pointing at a weird angle, so water got all over the wall and floor when I ...Read more

Dear Eric: On Mother's Day I received a voicemail, on my cellphone, from my sister-in-law. It evidently was a butt call that recorded my brother, sister-in-law and two of their friends having a good time drinking and bad-mouthing me.

In the voicemail my sister-in-law told their friends that her husband's sister "was a piece of work", to which ...Read more

Dear Eric: I met my wife about 20 years ago. Her three kids at the time were young to late teens.

The oldest, a daughter, has always been needy and played the victim. Over the years, we have given her a car; driven her to work before she got her license; gave her a living room set when she ran off and got married; drove three states away to ...Read more

Dear Eric: I am a 64-year-old woman who allowed my daughter (35) and son-in-law (34) to move in about two years ago. They committed to each other in 2022 but didn’t make a legal partnership. They have an open relationship.

He has pretty much always had a girlfriend. When I asked my daughter where her boyfriend was, she said she could have one...Read more

Dear Eric: I've been having problems with the noise coming from downstairs for more than three years now. I live in a two-family rental. Two much younger women live on the first floor.

One of them is completely rude about how much noise she makes. However, I didn't have a conversation with her about the noise. It took me three years, but I ...Read more

Dear Eric: My 21-year-old child responds only sporadically to texts and phone calls, often going days or weeks without a response. They live across the country with their other parent during the summers and holidays.

When I get the chance to see them face to face, which is once a year if I am lucky, it is as if no time has passed and has the ...Read more

Dear Eric: I have many friends who are religious, mostly devout Catholics and born-again Christians. I do not personally hold religious beliefs. Decades ago, I was deeply Christian, but my thinking has shifted to believe there is likely no God watching over us.

I do respect other people’s beliefs and would never try and push my point of view ...Read more

Dear Eric: My older sister, with whom I’ve never been close, is in her 80s and highly dysfunctional with money and life. She can’t make ends meet despite being a real estate agent and a substitute teacher.

I have “loan papers” she signed years back promising to pay me/us back, which never happened. Finally, I put a boundary on us to ...Read more

Dear Eric: Our married son and wife share all their plans, ideas, life experiences with her family and we hear nothing. We watch our grandkids, help them at a drop of a dime, we even spiff up the house when watching the kids and let their dogs out.

When we hear what they're doing or planning from her side of the family, we’ve had to stop ...Read more