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Dear Eric: My parents got divorced when I was a toddler. Father remarried to a woman for about 15 years until another divorce. My relationship with the stepmother was unhealthy nearly the entire time they were married.

Now we usually exchange texts on Mother’s Day and birthdays. But otherwise, we have no real connection in a meaningful way.

She does not have biological children or a current partner. Nothing has been spoken about this yet, however, I expect someday soon a conversation may happen about where she intends to spend her final days. She anticipates needing dementia care because her mom did.

By this time, I'll have been the "good son" for my mother and probably my father by handling their end-of-life matters. It is not something I look forward to doing again yet it looks like things may end up that way.

My question is about my former stepmom's finances. I have no information about her financial situation except that she is expected to inherit a healthy share of my father's estate, as will I.

I'd like to be prepared to talk to my stepmom if the conversation comes up about her end-of-life planning. I'd like to know how she is handling her estate, and what if anything is earmarked for me to inherit. Is that rude? We have a cordial relationship, but it is not any type of real family love.

It would make the burden on my shoulders more palatable if I knew if she values me being in her life enough to direct inheritance to me or not. Can I still be the "good (former step) son" if I ask about this?

– Good Son

Dear Son: These are two separate conversations. You’re anticipating being called on to help and you want to make sure you’re valued. But even if you are thought of in your stepmother’s will, without clarity in your relationship, you may still feel resentment.

So, start by initiating the end-of-life conversation yourself. If this is something you suspect will be asked of you, but you don’t know for sure, reach out and ask about it. Go into this conversation having thought through what an ideal situation might look like for the two of you. It sounds like the ideal may not involve you in an active caregiving role.

Perhaps she’s already made plans to move somewhere where they can care for her, or to hire help. Perhaps she has a senior life manager. You may be assuming too much. And, if she hasn’t thought through her options, you might find that you’re best utilized as a sounding board and someone who can do research for her.

Dear Eric: My nephew is a fifth-grader who was called an ugly racial epithet by a classmate. His parents did not want to cause a fuss and give this bully power over their son by calling him out. What is the best way to deal with a verbal assault when it involves children?

– Vexed

Dear Vexed: While I understand the parents’ reticence to give the bully the attention he craves, one would hope that the school has procedures to correct this kind of behavior.

It’s important for the safety and mental well-being of the child that they talk to a teacher or a school administrator about what’s being said to him. It’s possible that this isn’t an isolated incident. It’s also possible that if there are students who feel they can get away with racial epithets to classmates, they also feel empowered to bully in other ways.

Your nephew probably doesn’t have the tools to deal with this right now; his parents need to intercede on his behalf, not only to get him support and show him that they’re in his corner, but also as an example of how to stand up for himself as he grows older.

Dear Eric: In reference to the person that wants their significant other to take off outside shoes so there is no grit and dirt on the letter writer’s bare feet (“Shoes Off”). The letter writer is not wrong but, I imagine, sometimes the significant other needs to run in quickly to grab something or use the restroom. Repeatedly, taking your shoes off and on is time consuming and exasperating.

Here are some alternatives. Gardening catalogs sell aggressive boot scrapers and floor mats to clean shoes. There are also large slip-on shoes that go over work boots to keep the dirt from falling off to the floor. Additionally, there are large sticky mats that construction companies use to keep workers from dragging dirt to non-construction areas. Have these items at the doorways for quick visits into the house.

– No Shoes, No Problem

Dear No Shoes: Thanks for these great suggestions. Additionally, other readers suggested having disposable non-slip shoe covers available.

(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)

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