ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I have joined a fitness club. The policy of the gym is that members do not talk on their phones in the workout area.

While there is very little of that, many people do talk with each other and text on their phones. The problem is they sit on the machines while doing so -- sometimes for five or 10 minutes.

...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have developmental prosopagnosia, or face-blindness, and cannot recognize any human faces. I work remotely in a profession that does not require me to interact directly with others. My husband watches TV and movies with me in case I confuse the characters, and goes to parties with me to help me know who I'm talking with.

I ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is a polite way to refuse a hug with friends or strangers? What to do when my proffered handshake is batted away and a hug pursued instead?

Some men, especially, seem to want to hug me because of my large chest, and it seems more like sexual assault than a friendly gesture. And there are certain women (whom I do not ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was taught by my mother and grandmother, who practiced what they preached, that condolence letters are to be acknowledged.

Their practice was to answer every condolence letter with a return letter. It could be long or short, but at the very least it should express gratitude for the sender's thoughtfulness.

I have followed ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiance and I have chosen not to register for gifts. Not only do we wish to do what is proper, but we already live together in a tiny apartment and have neither the need nor the space for additional housekeeping items.

Nor do we wish to crassly solicit money from our guests. And since the wedding is in my fiance's small, ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When hosting a cocktail hour, how does the hostess gracefully navigate the quantity of food served? For example, if the cheese platter is reduced to a few bites, should the hostess be constantly monitoring and replenishing it, even if the planned "hour" has passed?

I certainly don't want to appear stingy with guests. But ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter is graduating from high school, but she does not want a party. I would still like to send out graduation cards to help celebrate her achievement, but I don't know how to write it. Should I state that she is not having a party, but that she is attending the ceremony?

I would like for people to have a way to ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: There is a relatively nice person who works near me in a busy financial office. They are talented and smart, but they have an annoying habit of interjecting a constant stream of unsolicited advice and warnings about health into every single conversation.

They will warn me of the plastic in teabags as they watch me make a cup ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend, who professes to love me, behaved irrationally on a two-day visit to my house. He says he is always in a lot of pain due to fibromyalgia, neuropathy and a tendon missing in his shoulder.

I have two disintegrating discs pressing on nerves in my lower back, which is very painful. During his visit, I waited on him hand...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: The first time my friend left me waiting for her for an hour when we had plans to meet for lunch, I expressed my displeasure. She defended herself with the same excuses she used in her texts to me: She was running late; she'd run into traffic; she would be there in another 5 minutes (sometimes at 15-minute intervals).

The ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am employed at a local department store where my primary position is in the dressing room. I check the number of items taken into each room, then I button, zip and hang up items to be placed back on the floor racks.

Our store's dressing room has a limit of 10 items per customer at a time. Most of the time, the customer will...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I had an amazing and intimate honeymoon in the Leeward Islands. In the spirit of the occasion, we booked first-class tickets for our flights.

During boarding for the return leg, the flight attendant asked if we would like anything to drink. We requested champagne to commemorate a perfect week spent together. The ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a teacher for the past 30 years, I have been fortunate to receive thoughtful gifts of thanks and appreciation from my students and their families during the holiday season and at the end of the school year. These gifts often include mugs, chocolates, baked goods or gift cards. (Between us, I will admit that my favorite ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What's happened to mealtime conversation?

We have friends who are perfectly capable of talking about all kinds of interesting subjects, but only so long as there is no food in front of them. If we meet at restaurants or for meals at each other's houses, all they ever talk about is the food. They grill (sorry!) waitstaff at ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Self-service fountain machines at pizza parlors and delis have the different sugary sodas labeled with big buttons, while there are often smaller black "water" and "soda" buttons below.

I have always believed that the aerated water dispensed by the "soda" button is still just water, meaning I can fill up a cup for free. After...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My mother-in-law and sister-in-law wore white gowns to my wedding. Their actions were so obvious that guests commented on it, and the DJ asked for "the real bride to please stand up."

Why would they do this on my wedding day?

GENTLE READER: A mean-spirited prank gone wrong? Regardless, it does not bode well for your future ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We visited a friend and her new partner for a weekend visit. Her partner drove us to an outing about 20 miles away and went 95 mph on the highway.

Despite fearing for our lives, we said nothing. On the way back, however, I politely asked the partner if he could please keep his speed under 80 mph.

He immediately turned ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I worked with someone who was uber passive-aggressive and made my life at work difficult. Fortunately, she retired at the end of the semester.

There was a retirement gathering for her with cake and coffee, given by her colleagues. I vowed long ago as division chair to never attend a gathering for this individual, so I skipped...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been friends with someone for 12 years. We used to do everything together, and were even roommates for a while.

Then she met a wealthy guy at the coast. I have met him a handful of times, and he always seems nice. They are now married and live on a yacht.

My husband and I spend most of our summer vacations at the same...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Between my husband and me, who have each been married previously to other people, we have four children, 11 grandchildren and five great-grandchildren. We have been married to each other for almost 25 years. Six of the grandchildren and all of the great-grandchildren have been born during our marriage.

I am especially close ...Read more