ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a university professor in my mid-60s, I feel very comfortable with my job. I find my daily interactions with students refreshing, and enjoy the company of several colleagues in the profession. I have a rich intellectual life.

I love what I do and do what I love. Unless I develop a severe disease, I plan to continue my work...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work in retail and have dealt with all types of people. Three years ago, I had cancer in my eye and had surgery to treat it. When I am tired -- which happens when working retail hours in a dry, old building -- the rim of my eye will turn red.

I am frustrated with the "no boundaries" type of customers, who often say to me, "...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I worked for a small company until recently. During my time there, I formed many wonderful personal and professional relationships. I left for a career-advancing opportunity.

Before I left, I was invited to come back and visit. My new position allows flexibility, so I have been able to come back and see my friends and former ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I feel like there's a large generational gap that needs to be addressed. What is considered necessary or obvious to one generation is considered frivolous or foreign to another. Culture changes, and so do expectations regarding behavior.

I'm a younger millennial, turning 28 next month. Millennials and Generation Z have ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I love my new boss. He's supportive, accessible and smart. Since the whole team works remotely, our meetings take place online. But how do you approach the boss about his being completely inappropriately dressed for a business meeting -- even a virtual one?

This otherwise great guy shows up on screen in his home office, which...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our new neighbors are well-known for being troublemakers. We are maintaining a cold and distant relationship with them, due to their famously disrespectful ways, and we have already been warned they are gossiping about us because of this.

I had to request intervention from the police due to them constantly blocking the ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I received a lovely handwritten invitation to attend a formal ladies' luncheon at my friend's home. Of course I accepted, and was looking forward to getting dressed up, as I don't have many chances to do so.

I told another friend of mine about it and she said that it sounded very nice, that she didn't really know many people ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a disability that is not readily visible, and I have a service dog to help me navigate the world and go about my business. She is a small dog and suits my needs very well, but she's not one of the classic breeds that people associate with service dogs.

When I enter a space that is not pet-friendly, I am often ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My mother has an active social life, with multiple friendships that have lasted decades. I have been assured that I have met these ladies, but that I was "just a baby" at the time.

I have been blessed with two children in the last two years, and these kind ladies give my mother presents for my children. My mom brings some ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our son is in his mid-30s and is a successful artist and businessman with a wonderful career. However, he has really terrible table manners, in spite of our efforts throughout his childhood to teach him otherwise. (His sibling has no such issues.)

He eats with his mouth open much of time, leans over the table onto his elbows,...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I've had a tough year, and am blessed with friends who keep in contact to make sure I'm OK. My problem is that I have a few friends who call or invite me out under the guise of giving me a chance to vent, but they end up doing the majority of the talking. They also make me feel worse because they share all that's wrong in ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband's father has been married for a few years to a kind but very high-strung woman. I need help figuring out how to get her out of the kitchen around dinnertime and during meal cleanup.

She insists on trying to "help," but her anxious nature only makes things more difficult. She comes up to me while I am rinsing dishes...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: With a certain group, I am only invited to events that require gifts. I've realized these people are complete users. How do I gently get away from them?

GENTLE READER: Sadly, that seems to be the prevalent form of entertaining everywhere. Rather than planning parties just for the fun of getting together with friends, many ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Several people of my acquaintance are in the habit of offering a rationale for poor behavior, quickly followed by, "But that's not an excuse." For example: "I'm sorry I lost my temper and dumped that bowl of egg salad on your head. Work has just been so stressful lately, and I'm not getting much sleep. But that's not an excuse...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been in a relationship with a woman for six months now. Things have been really great; we get along well, make each other laugh a lot and are mutually supportive.

The thing is, she goes on business trips once or twice a month that range from a couple of days to a full week. Don't get me wrong -- it's kind of nice ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been friends with this certain man for 10 years. One day, almost a year ago, he texted me asking if I would be willing to be intimate with him -- no labels, just benefits.

I liked him, so I accepted his offer. Almost a year into it, we are texting from morning to night, and I find myself catching feelings. If I tell ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: From an etiquette perspective, am I required to engage with men I don't know who attempt to talk to me?

My husband and I moved to a busy touristy area, and we can't walk down the sidewalk without men trying to shove menus into our hands and wave us into their restaurants. Or vendors will call out, "Hello, my friends!" to get ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the etiquette around sharing a hotel swimming pool?

Today there were five people attempting to swim laps in the 25-meter pool. Two were thrashing up and down, and rather than using the lap lane, they each took up a third of the pool's width. This left the three others to share the remaining third.

The swimmer in the ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Thank you for addressing the issue of "intent to offend" as opposed to being slow to adapt to newly identified verbiage. The issue our family is experiencing relates to pronoun identity.

I have a family member who has declared they/them pronouns, along with a change to their given name, in the last year. The elderly members ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I've been with my husband for almost five years. He has a son in his 20s who still lives with us. I am really, really bothered because both of them tell everyone EVERYTHING that goes on in our household.

Topics include what goes on, good and bad, between my daughter and me; my job; if I cook dinner; if I don't cook dinner; if...Read more