ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am very fortunate to have found a number of good companions through my active participation in local clubs. However, most of my new friends are a generation or more older than I.

They are wonderful people, and I am grateful for their kind interest in me. Yet I find it uncomfortable when I am asked about my family.

I ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: You are a very stupid person if you truly believe that wearing white shoes after Labor Day is a breach of "etiquette." It really doesn't matter what color your shoes are, especially after a specific date or time. It is completely appalling that anyone would live by these rules you so vigorously advocate for.

I do believe that...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was hiking in a beautiful country that proclaims itself more polite than the U.S. On a "leashed dogs only" hiking trail, two local women approached with an unleashed dog that tried to eat my only sandwich.

I said, "Ladies, I don't know if you're aware, but there's a leash law in this park." (There's a huge sign at the ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: New partners should not be in the family pictures. If the relationships don't last, it ruins the pictures. Believe me, I learned this the hard way.

I know, others may get divorced, etc. but I think the one-year rule is a good one.

GENTLE READER: Sure. But Miss Manners thought the point of taking pictures was to get a time ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: According to my doctor and a genetic test, I have early onset Parkinson's disease. I am 38. I am having a lot of the memory issues and brain fog that come with the disease, but not the noticeable tremors in these early stages.

What do I say to people who don't understand why I forget words midsentence, or the correct names ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: The employees at the school I work at have been asked not to wear scents due to the alleged allergies claimed by a co-worker. The students have not been directed to do the same.

So I arranged with a co-worker I'm friends with to thank her profusely, in front of the "allergic" person, for the body spray she gave me. My friend ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I know a few people who define everyone by their weight. Now, these people aren't perfect themselves, but their imperfections aren't as readily apparent as being fat. No imperfection is as apparent as that!

It drives me nuts when they describe someone as "chubby" or "fat" when no physical description is even necessary. One of...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A number of my friends have gone back to school for graduate degrees, while I and a few others continue to work.

When we all worked, we had similar financial means and were able to plan events far in advance. We went to the theater, had dinner at home or out, had parties and so forth.

I was prepared for my friends to be in ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I attended my high school reunion about 10 years ago, and while standing in line at the buffet, a former classmate told me, "Gee, you look a lot better than you did in high school."

I believe my response was "Thanks ... I think." Later this year, I will be attending another reunion, and am seeking your advice on an ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is there an etiquette prohibition against airing one's dirty laundry? And I mean literally -- as from the balcony of a historic hotel facing a beautiful public park!

Perhaps a swimsuit on a chair, or in an inner courtyard balcony, but what are these people thinking, displaying their underwear? Could a fellow traveler hint at ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Friends and strangers often say to me, "Your hair is really long." While this is better than "you look tired," it is still not exactly a compliment, so I don't feel right saying "thank you."

Is there anything more interesting to say than "yes, it is"?

GENTLE READER: There are many more interesting responses. But as you are ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We were driving in a rural area with two grandkids in the back seat. One of them vomited.

We deemed the narrow shoulders of the state highway unsafe for a stop, so we made a right turn into the first available road. That road had no shoulder at all, so we turned again. What we thought was another rural road turned out to be ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a college student at a small, private art school, and work part-time at the school's reception desk, receiving and directing phone calls and visitors. When dealing with rude and polite callers alike, I greet them with a pleasant tone and promptly answer their questions to the best of my ability.

What concerns me are the ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My summer internship went great and I've been hired! But I'm afraid I'm going to ruin it because my boss takes new hires out to lunch at her exclusive club. I had to buy a tie, which is fine, but I just know I'll use the wrong fork. Help!

GENTLE READER: Only if you promise never again to use that meaningless cliche about the ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I received a birthday card from a newish friend in the neighborhood. The card was unsolicited, though the giver had previously asked whether a party I was throwing had something to do with my birthday, and I admitted that it did happen to fall on that day.

The card had a few scratch-off lottery tickets in it. My family ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My in-laws are always asking for money or gifts.

One couple who had been living together for years -- divorced and married, employed, with a home, etc., asked for "cash only" gifts for a honeymoon for their second marriage to each other.

Another in-law asked for a piece of artwork I had created that was not monetarily ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was in a store where an acquaintance of mine was making a scene, demanding a product that the store does not supply. She stormed out after a barrage of loud, foul language. As she left, she must have noticed me, but I was looking purposefully away.

This type of circumstance, while not the norm, certainly does arise. Is it ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I know the etiquette of the host paying for the event, not the guest. Which is great. However, in my wide circle of friends, we do things differently. We often eat potluck, though when one of us does provide the meal, we provide all of it at our own cost. Guest will usually bring wine to share, or maybe a homemade dessert if ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I accepted an invitation to a party for a friend's husband at their home. It hadn't occurred to me to bring a gift -- most likely I would have simply brought a nice card and a bottle of wine.

A few days before the party, I was surprised to receive this message: "Some of you have asked about gifts -- and truly, your presence ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: If I am late to a doctor's appointment, I may not get to see the doctor at all, but I will still be charged for having missed the appointment. But if I get there on time, I usually have to cool my heels for a long time -- sometimes for close to an hour -- before the doctor will see me.

Yes, I've complained. I get one of two ...Read more