ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: For work, I often attend meals with assigned seating -- not just assigned tables, but individual chairs. I really enjoy these events, since they are opportunities to talk with seatmates I may not know well, or at all.

So I returned to using assigned seating at dinner parties in my home, hoping to replicate the opportunity for...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm a college student who used to share the common area of my dorm room with one girl, Missy, while a third roommate, Artemis, has her own room with a door. She has a boyfriend (with his own apartment) who is over all the time, which I didn't mind, because he's a nice guy.

But since Missy left, Artemis and her boyfriend have ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live with my daughter and her husband. He prefers to be the cook for dinner, and he's good at it.

He also has a new job as a mechanic. He changes oil and tires, and is training as a master mechanic apprentice. He's a great guy and I'm very happy for him.

The issue is that he comes home and washes his hands before he cooks,...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Long ago, when one was sick, friends and acquaintances would bring over soup or a casserole; offer to straighten up, and even do laundry; take care of your children for a few hours so you could rest; let you know that they were praying for you, etc.

What happened? Today, getting sick is treated as some kind of moral failure, ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My lovely sister, Grace, married a man who is difficult. Keith is loud, often inebriated, and quick to anger. So much so, that after a misunderstanding at Grace and Keith's wedding rehearsal dinner, harsh words were screamed, and Keith challenged my husband, Jason, to a fistfight.

He issued a pretty weak apology, and for my ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work in a public middle school and am a licensed teacher. It is a matter of course that adults refer to each other as Mr. or Mrs. Smith, especially in front of students or when referring to adults in their conversation with students.

My issue is with an aide, who continually addresses me by my first name in front of ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter and I could use a refresher course in how to answer the seemingly endless questions regarding her marital status.

She is a 23-year-old full-time college student, happy in a relationship, and not terribly interested in getting married yet. But more and more she is enduring "the question" from seemingly well-meaning...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm turning 30 and decided this would be a great age to throw a birthday party. My long-term partner recently left me, and I really want to show my friends how much I appreciate them being in my life.

When I've gone to events after COVID, I've noticed they have a lot less structure and are overall less formal. While I do want...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Starting about 1 p.m., my next-door neighbors began a very loud party. It was Saturday afternoon, and I've been on the other side of "too much noise" complaints myself once or twice, so I decided to be tolerant.

After several hours of very loud, pounding music that necessitated closing my windows so that I could hear my TV, I...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am flummoxed. On two separate occasions, I have offered to host a birthday party for a friend. They were both enthusiastically receptive to my offer.

In each case, I asked for their guest list with email addresses to send e-vites to their invitees. I also asked each birthday girl for any favorite appetizers or beverages, so...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My co-worker was given a surprise baby shower at her mother-in-law's house. Her husband got her there by fibbing, saying he needed to pick up a tool and she could just sit in the car.

This was right after my co-worker had completed two hours of yard work; she was in grubby, ill-fitting clothes and had no shoes on, as hers ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I hate dress codes, but for the opposite reason that most people rail about them. Many say that dress codes are a violation of their God-given right to wear gym clothes to work, or they say that wearing a tie (let alone a tuxedo) to a wedding causes them extreme physical discomfort. Blah, blah, blah.

Well, my wife and I just ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am frequently included in group texts involving relatives, friends, and former colleagues. These conversations range from lighthearted banter to grave news or shared memories.

While I am not always interested in the topics discussed, I worry that failing to reply -- what my daughter calls "ghosting" -- is rude. I often feel...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My friends and I have been celebrating a monthly Moms Night Out for years. There are 11 of us, and it's common practice that the restaurants we visit include an 18% gratuity in our bill because we are such a large party.

Normally this is fine; however, there have been times when we have received very poor service. If we feel ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My cohort of parents does not want to be counted among those who neglected their children's education, so I am coming to you, the expert, for your list of important courtesies all children must learn and perform. I hope to encourage and inspire them in the teaching and modeling of manners to the next generation.

GENTLE READER...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I attended a dinner party hosted by a couple who are new friends to me. The evening was lovely, save for one glaring issue: The hosts were constantly sniping and digging at each other.

Occasionally, this appeared to be in jest (although not actually very funny). Other times, they just seemed to really want to put one another ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Strolling through a state fair, a couple run into a national celebrity. Husband asks if he can take a picture of the celebrity and wife together.

He clicks the shutter as the celebrity places a hand on the buttocks of his wife. Impropriety or playful humor? Would it be an exaggeration to call this a groping?

GENTLE READER: ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am very fortunate to have found a number of good companions through my active participation in local clubs. However, most of my new friends are a generation or more older than I.

They are wonderful people, and I am grateful for their kind interest in me. Yet I find it uncomfortable when I am asked about my family.

I ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: You are a very stupid person if you truly believe that wearing white shoes after Labor Day is a breach of "etiquette." It really doesn't matter what color your shoes are, especially after a specific date or time. It is completely appalling that anyone would live by these rules you so vigorously advocate for.

I do believe that...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was hiking in a beautiful country that proclaims itself more polite than the U.S. On a "leashed dogs only" hiking trail, two local women approached with an unleashed dog that tried to eat my only sandwich.

I said, "Ladies, I don't know if you're aware, but there's a leash law in this park." (There's a huge sign at the ...Read more