ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I made a serious error when speaking to someone with cancer by referring to people not diagnosed with the disease as "normal" -- as in, "Can normal people get periodically scanned?"

I quickly corrected myself, but I still agonize over it, two weeks later. I don't know what I was thinking and I'm so embarrassed.

This is a ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I participate in a regular online exercise class, in which all the clients are veterans -- and mostly men. I am usually the only woman in the group. Participants generally sign on several minutes early to chitchat, and the host (a woman) greets everyone as she sees them.

My irritation is that she greets all the men as "Mr.," ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son is engaged to a lovely young woman, whom my son's mother and I like a lot. The bride-to-be's father, a very nice man, announced that he would be paying for the wedding "as is tradition" in order to help the couple, as they are still just starting their careers.

I told him that it was generous of him to offer, but that ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Two years ago, I introduced my close, longtime friend, Nora, to Lauren, an acquaintance whose husband is my husband's boss. To my delight, they hit it off -- so much so that a few months ago, they decided to go on a three-week trip together.

The vacation was a disaster. The women fought constantly. As my close friend, Nora ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I saw a theatrical production that was written by, and starred, a friend of a friend. This person used to live in our city. Our mutual friend suggested we convey their greetings after the show.

My wife was very reluctant to do so, but I was not. The star was incredibly happy to see us and to receive our friend's ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I have been trying to conceive a child for some time. Our first pregnancy ended at seven weeks in a miscarriage, which started during a visit to my mother-in-law's home. She had not known we were trying, and then the cat was out of the bag.

She was very kind and sympathetic immediately after we returned from ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What are some polite, humble alternatives to "I may be wrong, but ..."?

I find myself increasingly defaulting to this phrase when, as far as I can tell, I'm not wrong. Usually the context is that something looked off to me, so I went and double-checked and found that, yes, it was off, and the issue then needed a follow-up.

...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do I tell my friend to go away and leave me alone? I need my alone time to recharge, but she will keep talking and bothering me, especially during lunch at the studio where I work.

She loves to eat spicy chips and they smell gross, and I don't think she has ever chewed with her mouth closed. Other than that, she is a good...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and four of our seven children have allergies to various foods, including pork, mushrooms and onions. Most of our friends and family know this, and will go out of their way to avoid these things. If they are having pork, they will make something extra for the two kids who can't eat it, for example. We also try to ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife's best friend from high school, "Nelly," has become a very successful businesswoman. Each year, she will invite us to the fall fundraiser for the local performing arts society, which raises funds for local theater groups. She will buy a table of eight for this event and invite us to join her.

The event has both silent...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a strong moral requirement not to lie, which has led me to reflect on the role of full truthfulness in good manners. I often observe people giving false reasons or intentionally omitting pertinent details to politely avoid something.

While I understand the intent is usually to spare someone's feelings or avoid ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have taken note of repeat inquiries about how to deal with not being invited to a wedding -- presumably, though not always in so many words, without being a jerk in return.

I would like to point out that weddings have gotten exceedingly expensive and that couples simply cannot afford to invite everyone to the reception. In ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I run a shop from my house. It's mostly online, but occasionally I have customers make an appointment to visit "in store." Many of them will just text "I'm here" from their parked cars and stay there, waiting for some kind of invitation by text.

I think this is stupid and rude. I am in my "shop," waiting for a knock at the ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I were hosting a casual dinner party in our home for two couples we like very much. One couple brought their two children, who get along well with my two children.

I planned to make a dish that is usually easy for me, but somehow, between helping the guests find things in the kitchen and helping the children ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: The opportunity to work remotely has offered many individuals the freedom to engage in work-related activities not only at home, but also in public places such as libraries and cafes -- basically anywhere that offers Wi-Fi and provides tables and chairs for patrons.

This is the case at a coffee shop where I often go to enjoy ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Two months ago, my parents asked if they could stay with my fiancee and me for a few nights. (They live in a different part of the country.) After checking with my fiancee, we agreed, and my parents are coming for a four-night visit.

Last week, my fiancee announced that her mother and sister, who also live in a different part...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 67-year-old man who works out regularly at a gym. The gym is open 24/7, and members have a key fob to enter since it is not always staffed.

I was exercising at 9 p.m., and the only other person there was a young, attractive woman, probably in her 40s. We exchanged pleasantries. When I was finished with my workout, I ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have friends who seem to think every little milestone should be celebrated like a small wedding. They hold celebrations and attach a wish list, sometimes with hundreds of gift ideas, to every invitation. Birthday parties, gender-reveal parties, baby showers (for every child, often asking for a box of diapers as well as a ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the proper etiquette for disembarking a plane when the aisles are full and someone's bag is several rows behind them?

I was getting off a flight when a couple in the row in front of me tried to get other passengers to retrieve their large carry-on bags from the overhead compartments, four rows back, and pass them up ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend from college works in Europe now and asked to stay with me for 10 days when he was here visiting. I made sure he had fresh towels every day.

His first day here, he flooded my bathroom floor while taking a shower (he said he "forgot how shower curtains work") and called for help. I quickly grabbed a towel and threw it...Read more