Once we fall in love, we tend to believe it's that other person, our beloved, who makes us feel complete because he or she fills in the element that was missing while we hungered for love. We tend to look for the man who makes us feel like a "real woman" at the zenith of our femininity.
If that sounds (all too) familiar, it's time to clear up ...Read more
Even if you yourself are snugly married, you probably have many single friends who love to pass along their tales of woe, stories of meeting and greeting the undead at bars, and contrived single minglings. The honest ones will admit being relieved when they go home alone, kicking off their shoes and dropping into a warm bed. Their lips are still...Read more
Her phone call startled me. The distraught woman on the other end spoke in rapid-fire sentences, most of them half-finished. Every word was confused, jumbled. But after some time, it became clear that her husband of 30 years was leaving the marriage. He wanted to live alone. In a way, he had already gone; they hadn't had sex in a year, and the ...Read more
DEAR SUSAN: There's something between casual sex and sex between committed partners. I don't know what to call it, but I do know it exists. I read that the French have a term for it: "less than lovers, more than friends." It's certainly possible for two people who care about each other as friends to have a sexual relationship. Neither partner is...Read more
DEAR SUSAN: About the man you dated who kept a thick rubber band around his wallet. It dates back to an old law enforcement trick: It makes picking the wallet from a pocket much more difficult, if not impossible. Being someone who secures his money tightly, I am usually the first to grab a check, to never hesitate to pay and to pay for a date (...Read more
DEAR SUSAN: You write about love addiction as if it's a bad thing to be in love. What is it, and is it so very bad?
DEAR BLOGGER: Being in love is wonderful: exalting, mellowing, shifting one's entire outlook on life into Upbeat and Forgiving. How could something that good be bad? The thing is, though, I'm not talking about love when I put the ...Read more
Yes. You! It just might happen that you meet someone you can't get out of your mind, a Wonderful One whose chemistry seems to mesh perfectly with yours. The mere thought of the person makes you grin with a happy secret between you and ... well, you. In other words, for the very first time in a long time, you're floored. And private time spent ...Read more
This is definitely equal-opportunity advice, since thinking/acting like an old maid is a personality trait that can be acquired by either gender. You're familiar with the signs: Rigidity with a capital R, dogmatic refusal to consider another solution to a problem. Simply put, it's their way or the highway. Sometimes it takes some time to ...Read more
-- Keep the child support check and visits from your kids' father distinct and separate in your mind -- and heart. Your children must see for themselves that their dad didn't divorce them.
-- Imagine what you'd do with your time if you were to only have six months to live. I'd bet my new scanner that nowhere on your list would be anything that ...Read more
Dear Readers: Yes, this column is a rerun. But because the concept (and the reality) is very much on our minds today (and rightfully so), it deserves another go-around. So here's the letter as it was written, and your reactions are mightily welcome. (For obvious reasons, the writer's name is omitted.) She's a thoughtful reader whose musings may ...Read more
The last scene of once-wondrous love isn't pretty. The anguish of that finale is pain I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Yes, I was dumped by a man who had brilliantly envisioned my career but did me dirty in the realm of love. Looking back, I realize the necessary role he played in reopening my heart after the dramatic loss of my young husband ...Read more
Although it is past the month of valentines, please accept this love token. It's been a long time coming -- years, not months -- because our relationship needed time to ripen. We needed time to build solid trust in one another day by day, year by year. Gradually we reached the point where words -- yours and mine -- were totally believed, ...Read more
Those of Generation Z, our newest generation, can be counted on to have the most unsparing vision of this world they've inherited. Heirs to a future they've yet to imprint, their opinions must find an open ear. Their take on the world has importance and relevance, and so, will always find space and newsprint here in this column. They must be ...Read more