DEAR SUSAN: One of your columns caused me to read your bio, and I learned that your son Scott lost his father when he was very young. My mother's greatest accomplishment, she says, is bringing up her three children to have college degrees without needing a husband. (My manuscript about that experience, "The Widow's Son," won an award at a ...Read more
DEAR SUSAN: Just as men had to be dragged into helping women with housework, so, too, do most women have to be dragged into sharing dating expenses -- even if they are the ones who asked for a date! To me, that's another form of denial -- denial of equal social responsibility. (This has been a sticking point of mine for years.) The women who ...Read more
It's one of the hardest things to do. For me, it still requires double doses of intestinal fortitude. And most of my friends say it's the same for them, too. (The females, that is; men don't seem to have as much trouble with the NO word. It just could be they've got an extra "No" gene.) Whatever the gene pool, most of us could use some tips on ...Read more
DEAR SUSAN: Your comment today to the 51-year-old cougar who married a 30-year-old was completely off-base. First, where did you get the idea that men mature by age 18 and women not until they are 30? That's total hogwash. Please cite one scientific reference to back that up. Thirty-year-old men are still playing video games and hanging in bars,...Read more
DEAR SUSAN: Face it. Being singular is a trip. It's not necessarily exotic, it's not always fun. But when you take Susan's advice and strengthen your singleness with savvy people willing to supply you with the information or service you need -- when you need it -- single life gets much easier. And things go much more smoothly, the way they ...Read more
The single person is changing, morphing into a more confident and accepted member of the world. There's much less apologizing for being unpartnered and somewhat less self-searching to explain away the solo life. No more second-rate status in social situations, much less needing to explain showing up solo at social gatherings. The old feeling of ...Read more
DEAR SUSAN: I'm a young, attractive woman who cannot for the life of me get a date. I try, but those I'm attracted to don't reciprocate my interest. Now, I'm not shy, I'm receptive to men and have no desire for a relationship or commitment. Really, I just want to meet a nice guy and have a good time. What should I do? -- From the "Single File" ...Read more
You can commune with God as you perceive Him while you're out walking or riding in a car -- anytime the need surfaces. Out of that fundamental craving for connection comes a deeper hunger to go beyond known boundaries and reach a level higher than human.
That hunger I call "churchness" draws some people toward one another, and their common ...Read more
Linking yourself to the community is the next step to widen your circle of connectedness. By joining a voluntary organization or international agency (whichever seems more important to you and seems to need you more), by manning a hotline for a battered-women's shelter or helping to organize and international fast day for world hunger, you're ...Read more
Married or not, each of us walks single file through life's landscape, because everyone has a "single" part , our unique individuality -- separate and apart from the crowd. Yet from time to time we may travel in lockstep, two by two, when someone we like comes nearby and walks with us. Drawn by love's force, this person may stay with us a ...Read more
From one of my favorite books, "Risking," by David Viscott, here are some truths that resonate today as powerfully (maybe even more so) as they did when they were first published. Please give each one the time it deserves, and let me know your thoughts about them.
--For a relationship to work, both partners must have all the freedom, privacy ...Read more
I love mystery. No, not the grisly murder-mayhem crime scene. The mystery that moves me (and maybe you, too, after I make my case) is the aura, the enchantment, the spell we women can weave around our femininity. But before we get to that, I want you to know my concept of feminine mystery has absolutely nothing to do with game-playing ...Read more