DEAR SUSAN: I just re-read your column about "apartners," and I'm sending along my 2 cents. Since my marriage ended two years ago, I've been lucky enough to share some personally productive relationships. Currently, I'm dating someone with the strength of character to be himself with me, and we're having a wonderful time. But as much as I like ...Read more
For the record, this columnist needs a posting of her own. Needled by some recent reader comments -- not always in the most generous spirit -- she (moi) needs to air some thoughts in response. Bear with me, all ye of good faith, as I take time to vent my spleen.
For openers, this column is not dedicated to partnering every extant/breathing ...Read more
DEAR SUSAN: Recently, I reconnected with a man I knew four years ago during college days. We spent a whole day in wine country, and it became clear that money is a major issue for him. He griped the whole day about spending money to taste wine and made a fuss about having dinner at the end of the day, sore at having to treat me. Keep in mind ...Read more
Zen teachings include a lesson on the sound of one hand clapping. For Buddhists, that leads to deep and provocative wisdom, definitely instructive as a life lesson but not where we're going here. In a less lofty (but more realistic) world, where give-and-take is the name of the game, both hands must be clapping to create the sound of true love. ...Read more
DEAR SUSAN: I happened to catch your column titled "Workaholism -- Part 1." In my opinion, you nailed it. Women are quickly overtaking men as the workaholic gender, and it's very damaging to their relationships -- in particular, their romantic relationships. I Ieft a five-year relationship with a woman, primarily over disputes about work-life ...Read more
Yes, I realize there are plenty of ways to judge your lover -- the amount of hair on his head, the sexy pout of her lips, the way just being with the person puts you on top of the world. But right here, I'm suggesting a different criterion. It's one that may not be as thrilling, but it comes with a lifetime of durable joy. For a moment, then, ...Read more
It's a sure bet your folks feel their job isn't over if their daughter (little ol' you) has reached 20-something and still isn't cozily snuggled into a marriage. (For some reason, parental protectiveness doesn't seem to extend to an unwed son.) Dad is especially wary of men, memories of his own hunting years still fresh and unsettling. So the ...Read more
DEAR SUSAN: I have a dilemma. My wife died a little over two years ago, ending our wonderful marriage of 26 years and making me a widower at 49. My wife was popular and well-liked by many in our area. Now I feel ready to explore the possibility of dating again by using online dating apps. The problem, though, is that some of my wife's single ...Read more
DEAR READERS: The woman who wrote protesting men's attitude toward sharing sex hit a nerve. Mail was robust, with wide reactions to her statement that "sex is a gift, not a right." Read on:
"Although I'm a very sexual man with no taboos or inhibitions, I think a man who grabs or gropes a woman without her consent is shameless, cowardly and ...Read more
DEAR SUSAN: My fiance and I are separated but still see each other occasionally. I saw he was losing interest, so I separated to work on our issues, and that experience fits into your recent questions. I began seeing a therapist to deal with the stress of the situation and discovered I was being too nice and needed to be more "unavailable."
It's fun time -- tickle time for the brain. Yep, this is another chance to peer inside and come up with the truth. Your truth! The questions -- and the responses to them -- are for your eyes only; there's no editor on the case, no second chance to revise your answer, no eraser in sight. First response, best response!
Mark whether you agree or ...Read more
DEAR SUSAN: This is one woman's comments on the 31-year-old man (who has never been married and is successful professionally) with a puzzling situation. He wrote for your opinion because the woman he's dating has a young child and complains that he puts his friends and freedom first.
I feel I must weigh in on this matter. I think he should put ...Read more