ArcaMax

DEAR SUSAN: I've met a nice man via an online service and want to encourage him, but the man I've loved for the past three years is now back in my life. Both of them live thousands of miles from me, and that's part of the reason things weren't going well for man No. 1. And that's why at 39 I've decided it's time to start a man search. But am I ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: Happy 58th birthday to me. I just read your column, and thought it was very nice to be asked for my opinion about SOMETHING.

I've learned that as a mother of grown children, with grandchildren of my own, it's the best technique to keep my opinions to myself -- and smile. Sometimes it's difficult, but it's often necessary.

I had a ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: I teach "Psychology of Women" at a local college. Last week, when we talked about marriage, most women in the class said love and companionship are the keys, but many feared their sense of self.

Women have long been conditioned to not develop their selfhood. Instead, they're told to maintain a "flexible identity" to make it easier ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: I've been "dating" a great guy for about a year, but he works far away, and we don't see each other all that often. We talk on the phone and write, of course. There is a chance he'll get transferred closer, but if that doesn't happen soon, I don't know how much longer I can stand this.

I really don't want to end the relationship; I ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: I'm currently contemplating divorce. There are a lot of questions to ask you about, but the most important ones are emotional. I still have feelings for my husband, but they're not romantic or sexual. Next week I'll be talking with a lawyer to get legal answers, but what I need to know is: How do you know when a relationship is over?...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: One of your surveys makes me want to respond because my experience fits into your questions. My fiance and I separated (still seeing each other occasionally) because I started to see he was losing interest in me. I wanted to work on our issues. I began seeing a therapist to deal with the stress of the situation and found out I was ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: I beg to differ with your advice! A single parent has the right to deal with dating issues like spending the night with a lover without interference from children. I've seen people miss many good chances by following advice like yours. I've also seen singles lose good chances for love while taking care of sick and aging parents. -- ...Read more

Women, this could be you: earning more money than ever, pulling yourself up and out of the pack -- and discovering that you may be soaring, but at the same time you're also pushing away those delightful creatures (aka necessary evils) we call men. In the wee small hours of the morning, you catch yourself wondering whether the old days of money-...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: What's up with this modern nonsense where the fear of disease (or simply of disappointment) is supposed to justify living half a life? (Hmmm. They used to use fear of pregnancy the same way -- couldn't be an excuse to control women, could it?) Nobody's advocating sleeping around like a maniac, but taking a chance once in a while -- ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: I'm having trouble with two of your responses. In the first, you told an American man not to look for a foreign mate because many girls were only after the material rewards of American citizenship. But in another letter, you advised a man to add materialism to his relationships. (He had lost his girl to a former lover who was better ...Read more

Flirting has disappeared. Fact, not fiction. Judging from my reader mail, it has dropped out of the romantic repertoire -- with absolutely no words of regret or comeback. But why has it gone, this once-admired art? The message I'm getting is this: We've found our womanpower; tremble at the roar if you dare.

Well, I, too, favor female strength, ...Read more

Take it from me, ladies; men don't want to be our savior. In this wildly changing world -- where the unpredictable happens daily -- no man, not even a big hunk with a bigger ego, has the time or energy for a cloying, dependent femme. Let's face it; to be a needy female is to be a relic from the past -- totally out of step with today's style of ...Read more