ArcaMax

DEAR SUSAN: I'm not fond of the "cougar" appellation myself. I've been called one, but never by anyone who knows the real me -- or at least not to my face. Anyway, my husband is 31, and I'm 51. I've dated other men -- meaning men my age -- but I've always gotten along better with younger ones. Younger ones are likelier to be spontaneous and fun....Read more

DEAR SUSAN: The propaganda that hurts us by race, religion or gender often comes from a small number of people, but when shared, it infects many. For most, it might not lead to hatred of a group or religion or gender, but it does cause many to feel animosity, whether they would admit it or not. There are men who would put down women but are ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: I broke up with my boyfriend of six months two days ago. There wasn't any specific reason or something he did wrong. On the contrary, he's a wonderful man who has shown love for me in every way possible. He's dealing admirably with the breakup, but I'm taking it much harder. Normally, I'd imagine this means I was wrong in breaking up...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: I am about to break up with my partner of 17 years, but we are quite sure we will continue to live together. I feel as if we're the only ones who've ever done such a thing. Are we? -- From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: If you are indeed the only person ever to remain under the same roof with a former lover -- and my best ...Read more

For some women, becoming an unmarried mother is a deliberate decision. They are usually in their late 30s or early 40s, with no love match in sight, when the realization hits that a husband is not an absolute requirement for motherhood -- and go on to become single parents. Yes, I know this is a hot potato, more acceptable in urban areas than in...Read more

Sigmund Freud wrote: "From being in love to hypnosis is evidently only a short step. The respects in which the two agree are obvious. There is the same humble subjection, the same compliance, the same absence of criticism, towards the hypnotist just as towards the loved object. There is the same absorption of one's own initiative. ... The ...Read more

Now that you've assembled a group of medical experts, I'm going to suggest you find the need to use them as seldom as possible -- which is my way of saying you should feed yourself well. Here's how:

--Give your mealtimes importance by thinking about their goodness. While you're eating, consciously appreciate the food's taste, the love you've ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: It's gotten so bad I can't even open my mouth in the company of a man. Friends tease me about it, and my parents often join in, worried that I'll never have enough nerve to carry on a love relationship and get married. What's a shy girl to do? -- From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: Dr. Philip Zimbardo, an acknowledged expert ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: OK. Being single is OK, but it means giving up a whole bunch of time waiting for the guy to phone. When he doesn't, I cry into my pillow. When he does, it's not much better; there usually isn't a second date. So here I sit, with lots of free time but not much doing. Any suggestions? -- From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: You'...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: Honestly, I don't know what I want in a life partner. A few years back, I thought I wanted someone really good-looking, tall, smooth and devoted. But now looks don't seem important. Still, he must be devoted to me. -- From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: Priorities do change with time. And that's a good thing, letting the small...Read more

Men as friends? It's not only possible but also healthy. For a full, satisfying existence here on planet Earth, it's beneficial to have ongoing interaction with men. So I've suggested practice sessions for you to incorporate into your life, because the more often you are around men in low-stress settings the sooner you'll be able to show grace ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: What can I do to make life entail more than dating and work? Is there an actual plan? There must be more than this to single life. -- From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: There is, indeed, much more to being single -- when you take time to make a plan. Nothing too complicated, for sure, but it does take some thinking. If you're...Read more