ArcaMax

DEAR SUSAN: It feels as if it's all up to me. As a single person, without a partner right now, I have to be the captain of my ship, making all the decisions and choices. I could use a little help. -- From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: You feel that way because that's the way it is when you're without a partner to share the load. But you ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: You're always writing about undependence -- the word you coined that means wholeness, I guess. Well, I've proved that I can do it all -- be a good parent, have a life, work, manage it all. But now what? I'm so darned lonely. -- From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: I never thought I'd say it, but you can be too independent. ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: I had plans to go to a film with my BFF and was really looking forward to dishing with her over a meal afterward. But this afternoon, she phoned and canceled. Why? Because some new man in her life wants to see her tonight. What am I, chopped liver? -- From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: Ouch. It hurts to be told your company ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: I've had it with being single. It's full of potholes that never get fixed, and I end up alone, crying myself to sleep many nights. What's with me? Is every unmarried woman hiding tears like me? -- From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: You'd think that a society with more than half its population unwed would rouse itself from ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: I work hard for my employer and feel good about my efforts. You have said that working is the ultimate connection to the world, especially when you're not married. (I've been divorced for a few years.) Please tell me more about that. -- From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: The way I see it, the routine of work is a bridge to ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: Male-bashing is not an easy problem to solve. Like many of your readers, I've been buffeted by many of life's ills, and in my line of work (headquarters for my work is the J. Edgar Hoover Building), I find myself muscling through interaction problems on all levels. As a society, we are creating a number of people who come from bad ...Read more

On every page of your daily calendar, write the following: "If it's 7 p.m. and I'm still at my desk, go home!" Write the same message on slips of red paper tucked into your purse or wallet -- and any other place they'll be noticed. But writing notes is one thing; following through is what takes guts.

Carve out time in your daily routine for ...Read more

The unmarried are in the middle of a global revolution, largely unheralded by our media, that has, with unerring grace and dignity, moved most of the world's developed countries to adopt laws giving them broad protection and rights. It is sad irony that America, heralded for its pioneering spirit and respect for human rights, is still woefully ...Read more

And why not? Why can't a nurturing father share parenting or be equally allowed to parent his child? Before you come down on one side of the issue, give the following letter room to make a dent in your preconception of male parenting. Ready? Deep breath, generous exhale.

DEAR SUSAN: I'm not quite sure when I got this vision that I wanted to be ...Read more

Sexual expression is part of mental and physical well-being. On that we probably agree. And being unmarried, you know how difficult it is to find a caring and committed partner. It's well worth waiting for, because when soul mates join spirit and flesh, their union can approach spiritual communion. Once that's experienced, anything less is out ...Read more

Zen teachings include a lesson on the sound of one hand clapping. For Buddhists, that leads to deep and provocative wisdom, definitely instructive as a life lesson but not where we're going here. In a less lofty (but more realistic) world, where give-and-take is the name of the game, both hands must be clapping to create the sound of true love. ...Read more

Feminism is changing. The vitality that made sisters of us all, women tethered to one another by indignation and conviction, is becoming more personal. The battle for equal partnership is being waged in corporate offices, day care centers, private homes -- no longer by bra-burning mobs in public squares -- and it will ultimately be won by women ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: It's love this time; I'm sure of it. Can you explain what love does and how it makes me feel as if I'm a whole person? -- From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: Love is my favorite subject, the phenom that takes over our life and brings out the best in us. Suddenly, the sun is shining even on a rainy day, and we feel fulfilled. ...Read more