ArcaMax

Should a woman pop the question? Darn right she should. And now you know why men wait and wait and wait -- until they're 100% sure they'll get a "yes" answer. And you? I bet you'll have a headache and a touch of queasiness just thinking about it, but make something happen! You will feel really good about making the first move. Promise.

There ...Read more

If only we women could be more secure about our age (and our wrinkles) and get comfortable with the idea of being with a younger man. Europeans have been onto the arrangement (unashamedly) for years. When will we get the message? After all, young men have vitality, enthusiasm, passion and a far more flexible viewpoint toward the female gender. ...Read more

If you've been musing on the power of bitterness and the awfulness it can play in a life, that's a step in the right direction. It tells me your complacency has been a bit rattled by my words and you may just be considering (for the first time?) your role in shaping the unpleasant endings in your life. Knowing this is just between you and me, ...Read more

Of all the aftershocks of love's endings, bitterness does the most damage because it's sneaky. While it clouds perception, it silently fulfills its own prophecy, which is that people will stay away. Potential friends and lovers keep their distance from an embittered person, which only serves to confirm his/her sour view of life, completing the ...Read more

There I was, sitting in the middle of a good-sized amphitheater, guest guru for a large Seattle group of singles assembled for a local television show. The young host had me on the hot seat. I was the central focus for questions from the audience. All was going smoothly, when from the back row came a plaintive cry: "My wife died last month, and ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: Hopefully by now you've gotten some email in support of your position on the engagement ring issue. This widely and fervently held and programmed belief is just one more symptom of the stranglehold marketing has on our culture, overriding all. -- Mike

DEAR MIKE: You and I may be the only humanoids on planet Earth who see the ring ...Read more

I read in women's letters the signs of their struggle to find an answer to their quandary. The feeders of the race, the gender asked to nurture those around them, women today are asking for -- no, insisting on -- emotional reciprocity. At the same time they confide in me their fears, they insist they will not settle for less than partnership in ...Read more

The days are gone when women made financial clout the top requisite for serious interest in a man. No longer economically second-class (if not financially whole, or at least with more earning potential -- and hope -- than before), women are asking something different from men. They are beginning to insist that their love object actively nurture ...Read more

Agreed, the month of May is the usual time for tributes to moms' indispensable role. But mine is a slightly early paean to those women who -- by some inscrutable twist of fate -- find themselves Chairman of the Board, responsible for every decision in their husbandless household. Why now, and why them? Because while motherhood is sacred in ...Read more

For the curious, my life's work found me. Catapulted overnight (literally) into young widowhood, and with a very young son to nurture, I quickly realized how unprepared I was for life on my own. (Smith College doesn't educate to be Head of Household.) Every day was a challenge; some I met adequately, some not so well. But slowly and painfully, I...Read more

You don't have to be single to be shy, but it's more likely when your way of life pushes you to meet new people and make entrances ... solo. That's why it's so important to learn the language of SMALL TALK. (It merits capitals because it's not so easy to learn.) Truth is it's a totally new language for those of us who never inherited the gift of...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: Choosing to be happy is something I've thought about over the years. It's not easy to put into practice, but it's quite liberating when you do. (Another way of saying it is "owning what you have." It reminds you to notice what is already in front of you.) The goal, it seems to me, is finding contentment and real joy in what you are ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: People shouldn't get hung up on the age of one's would-be partner; they should focus on whether they're attracted to that person. It's silly to expect all women (or men) in a given age group to think or act the same way. -- From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: Be warned; this is one of my "yes, but" responses. Here goes. Yes, ...Read more