ArcaMax

DEAR SUSAN: It's the end of the world because it's the end of my love affair. For five years, we've been together -- years of fun and laughs and serious talk. Now he wants out. Actually, he's gone. And I'm lost.

DEAR BLOGGER: You, friend, are a victim of divorce. There are no legal papers to sign, because this is a premarital divorce, but the ...Read more

DEAR READERS: At a reader's request, I've broadened the Sunday Prayer for the coming holidays, especially Thanksgiving Day. The goal, as she suggested, is to blur age and religion differences so that everyone -- young and not so young -- feels blessed.

The Prayer

Sunday being a traditional day of rest, I want to suggest you add to it another ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: Lately, you've been writing about women angry toward men. It's making me wonder whether I am one of them. Sure, I've had my share of disappointments with them, but how can I tell if I'm really a man hater?

DEAR BLOGGER: Wonder no more, fair maiden. Your responses to my quiz will guide you through the murky waters of uncertainty. ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: After all I've been through making a name and a life, I am honestly scared, truly spooked by the thought of merging my life with my lover-man. Women like me want love but are scared to death of losing what we fought for. Loving my man could take the sacrifice of my independence.

DEAR BLOGGER: Nonsense. That sort of overreaction ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: I would like to believe what you say about being whole (undependent) before meeting the love of your life. But my mind is racing for things to say when I'm with someone I like, and I do and say silly things. How can I control my mind?

DEAR BLOGGER: By stepping up and taking control of what goes into it. Habits like watching the ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: The man in my life wants to marry and make our love legal. But he has one demand he says will make or break the deal. He needs to be able to go off once in a while and have time to himself, without me, without the children we may have at the time. He says he's used to having time to himself, away from responsibilities, and he wants ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: As my fellow blogger said, it's so true. There's not a man alive who wouldn't adore receiving a "humorous card" from a woman who dumped him. Great advice, per usual! But one thing a woman should NOT do if she hates/fears men is treat them like normal human beings or see them as individuals who differ from person to person. Positively...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: How on Earth did you come up with the idea of exercises in singleness? I've heard of situps and pushups for the underused abs and belly muscles, but how does someone exercise their singleness?!

DEAR BLOGGER: The same logic that applies to one's abs or stomach muscles applies to their singleness: Underused is underdeveloped. A ...Read more

You probably know that the Chinese word for "crisis" is composed of the characters for "danger" and "opportunity." Sure, there's danger being an unattached woman. At times, panic and depression creep in, too. But there's also an opportunity that generations of women longed for: the chance to cultivate lifelong self-reliance. When those low ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: There's only one winner in a race, but I think everyone can find someone if they really want to. Finding a mate isn't a competition; if you, fellow blogger, see countless others with someone alongside and you're always alone -- but don't want to be -- isn't that unfair? Hey, it's unfair that there are millionaires and I'm not one. ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: When sex is mentioned, I don't think so much of being ashamed of my body as I do "our needs," and that's when my upbringing comes into play. Responsibility, religion, the Golden Rule, role models, friends, my experiences with the opposite sex all shaped my view of sexuality. It's not so much guilt but rather right and wrong that ...Read more

Dear Susan: Can you confirm the following as signs of a cheating wife?

-- Not appreciative of quality sexual intercourse with husband.

-- Interested in sex-oriented movies that praise the male lead's performance.

-- Repeatedly praising the husband of another couple.

-- Repeatedly mentioning another man's attention to her.

-- Finding ways to...Read more