ArcaMax

Admit it. You and I sigh for it. At times, we yearn for it. We dream of finding it embodied in one special person, discovering the real thing we crave. Everyone's always looking for it. We mask our yearning in a zillion different ways, but it comes down to hunger for the real thing.

But we can help make it appear in our lives. The very thought ...Read more

I love mystery. No, not the murder-mayhem crime scene. The mystery that moves me (and maybe you after you consider my words) is the aura, the enchantment and the spell we can weave around ourselves. But before we get to that, know that my kind of mystery has nothing to do with game playing or trickery in relationships; in my value system, they'...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: OK, so there are shy men and shy women -- and not-so-shy men and not-so-shy women. Why should shyness be seen as something bad, something that needs correcting? Shyness isn't always bad; assertiveness isn't always good. We're just trying to be ourselves in a world that demands conformity. And, Susan, please don't promote women ...Read more

Listen up, because you never know when it will happen to you. Your dear friend lets you know she has just unearthed the most wonderful hunk mankind has ever created, and she knows for sure he's just right for you! You must meet him, she says, searching your eyes for a response.

That's the scenario -- could happen anytime -- for which I most ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: I've been reading a lot of letters in your column about child support. How about a kid's perspective? My dad never sees me. Why should I want to see him? He owes my siblings and me thousands of dollars' worth of food, clothing, medical treatment, etc. I'm not complaining about apartments that don't have carpet or having to watch ...Read more

Let's take a summer break from the usual, same-old (yawn) essay format and sprinkle some questions about living together as a lifestyle choice and (quite possibly) rebellion against marriage. My nationwide survey saw it coming, this fast-growing option, but no one could have predicted its overwhelming numbers. As it turns out, this extra-legal ...Read more

Agreed, the month of May is the usual time for tributes to moms' indispensable role. But mine is an off-season paean to those women who -- by some inscrutable twist of fate -- find themselves Chairman of the Board, responsible for every decision in their husbandless household. Why now, and why them? Because while motherhood is sacred in America,...Read more

Years ago, during my single-mom-and-widow phase, fear was very much the biggest part of my emotional baggage. A whole family of what-ifs would wake me in the middle of the night and start droning their litany of fear. What if my son never again has a father? What if I get sick and can't care for him? What if that nice man I just met doesn't call...Read more

The Second Look at a promising someone is among my favorite mental delicacies because it changes shape and importance as life (mine, anyway) moves you into new situations. And truth to tell, in my experience, each one seems to ask for (and impart) greater patience, deeper understanding and more worldly wisdom.

The main challenge of the Second ...Read more

Admit it. You've been bowled over by the good looks and smooth manner of someone who shall remain nameless. Who among us hasn't been?! But the last time your eyes locked with his/hers, it just wasn't the same celebration; sparks refused to fly. And there you were, in the middle of a perfectly scrumptious fantasy, when that old devil Reality came...Read more

Terrorized by the possibility of being pulled back into the mire of second-class personhood, women these days have put men on trial. It's not usually a conscious decision, more like a self-defensive reflex, and it masquerades as snide criticism, sharp-tongued retorts and guilt-inducing comments. Anything and everything to put him on the ...Read more

According to census data, the median age for an individual's first marriage has been steadily increasing over time. In 2018, the median age for a first marriage in the United States was nearly 30 for men and 28 for women, up from 23 for men and 21 for women in 1970.

In addition to putting off marriage, millennials are also more likely to be ...Read more

Now, where were we before we were so rudely interrupted by those seven days? Oh, I remember now. You were feeling impatient with the waiting game and ready (almost) to make something happen now, soon, even though the love of your life isn't (yet) on the scene! The way I see it, passivity is no longer your style. You've been feeding yourself, a ...Read more