ArcaMax

DEAR SUSAN: I've been in an exclusive relationship with a wonderful man for nine years. He's divorced (eight years); I'm a widow. We are both in our mid-40s -- no children, good jobs -- and we both own houses of roughly the same value. We agree that we will retire to my home, but he can't live here right now because of his job's location. My ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: My wife and I divorced about six years ago. She initiated it and moved out shortly thereafter. After two years of having joint custody of our three children, she decided to "temporarily" move across the country to gain work experience. She asked me to take care of our kids full time until she came back. I happily agreed, but the kids...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: Your reader wants to know how she can tell whether someone's intentions are personal or professional. Here (from the male viewpoint) is how I handle things when a woman in my office asks me out. Of course, if the invitation is for cocktails after work rather than for lunch, odds are she has more on her mind than an after-work get-...Read more

Now the majority population of America, the unmarried community affirms the undependent life.

I RESOLVE to think for myself rather than allow someone else to decide the course of my life. While I will remain open to wise counsel, I alone will make the final decision in significant matters. And when decisions are to be shared, I will make myself...Read more

Sexual union realizes its potential as spiritual communion when it joins soulmates. Then -- and only then -- can it morph from animal rutting into lovemaking and deliver on its promise. (Anyone who has been a casual sex casualty will attest to that.) But it takes a bit of doing to make sense of the erotic overchoice embedded in single life (no ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: I have sexual feelings for my boyfriend, but it's usually when we're apart. I get that rush of lovey feelings when I'm at work or driving to the store; I think of him and how he makes me feel good about myself. More than that, I love that he complements me so well. Still, as soon as I see him in person, all I need is a hug or a quick...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: As a minister, I share your "Declaration of Undependence" with all couples whose marriage ceremonies I perform. I have read your column for years -- when I was married and now that I'm not -- and I realize I haven't thanked you enough for your wisdom and hard work! -- Single File Blog

DEAR BLOGGER: This column is that rare place in ...Read more

The unmarried are in the middle of a global revolution, largely unheralded by our media, that has, with unerring grace and dignity, moved most of the world's developed countries to adopt laws giving them broad protection and rights. It is sad irony that America, heralded for its pioneering spirit and respect for human rights, is still woefully ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: A recent tip of yours really resonated with me. You said, "The best way to meet quality men and women is to follow your own star, do what it is that makes life worth living." I'm currently dating a special person, whom I met as a direct result of making a bold career decision. As a librarian, I was discouraged working in medical ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: As a single man who is 5 feet 4 inches tall, I've had relationships with women who are much taller than I am, women who are shorter than I am and women who are the same height as I am; all of them should be applauded. But I've also had some who rejected me on the basis of my height alone. Women can change their height by wearing ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: Recently, a reader praised one of your past columns, "What -- Me Marry?" He said it was good advice, to be remembered when considering marriage. He was so enthusiastic that I'm curious to read it for myself. I'm wondering whether you would repeat it -- or at least the best parts. -- From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: A firm ...Read more

Whenever someone learns what I do for a living, out pours a torrent of past dating slights. For the first years -- "Single File" is in its 40th year -- I absorbed the slings and arrows, and certain people learned to live with my branch of journalism (and their dating woes), but that was not to be. Yes, there have been a few periods of relative ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: I agree that the timing of a phone call is just the beginning of game playing that women use with men. I'd like to expose some of the more serious games they play -- games that they may think are cute but that in reality are stupid and potentially dangerous, often with lasting effects.

There's the "I'm pregnant" game, sometimes a ...Read more