ArcaMax

DEAR SUSAN: OK. Being single is OK, but it means giving up a whole bunch of time waiting for the guy to phone. When he doesn't, I cry into my pillow. When he does, it's not much better; there usually isn't a second date. So here I sit, with lots of free time but not much doing. Any suggestions? -- From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: You'...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: Honestly, I don't know what I want in a life partner. A few years back, I thought I wanted someone really good-looking, tall, smooth and devoted. But now looks don't seem important. Still, he must be devoted to me. -- From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: Priorities do change with time. And that's a good thing, letting the small...Read more

Men as friends? It's not only possible but also healthy. For a full, satisfying existence here on planet Earth, it's beneficial to have ongoing interaction with men. So I've suggested practice sessions for you to incorporate into your life, because the more often you are around men in low-stress settings the sooner you'll be able to show grace ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: What can I do to make life entail more than dating and work? Is there an actual plan? There must be more than this to single life. -- From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: There is, indeed, much more to being single -- when you take time to make a plan. Nothing too complicated, for sure, but it does take some thinking. If you're...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: I used to be angry with men just for being male. (I think my mother was part of the influence.) But as I get older (I'm 38), I want to rethink things and maybe unload most of my rage. I want you to help me understand the other gender because I want to be friends with the good ones. -- From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: Most ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: I'd like to share an exercise that has helped me in these confusing times. Male-female relationships seem to add a certain amount of angst because we put our hearts on the line. I have found that it helps to measure my reactions and feelings against my best relationships with family and friends. Would I be upset if my best friend ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: You write about being a hermit. Well, I think I'm one of them. I like my food arranged just so in my fridge, and when I made my holiday/party list, I realized I'm running on empty. I've been alone too long, I suppose. Give me some ideas, please. -- From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: Friendship is easily the most important ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: Your work interests me. What made you choose single life to write about? -- From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: Back in the days of the covered wagon -- now hold it right there! "Single File" isn't that old! To continue: Back in semi-olden days, I was catapulted into the single world suddenly, a widow and single parent. My ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: It feels as if it's all up to me. As a single person, without a partner right now, I have to be the captain of my ship, making all the decisions and choices. I could use a little help. -- From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: You feel that way because that's the way it is when you're without a partner to share the load. But you ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: You're always writing about undependence -- the word you coined that means wholeness, I guess. Well, I've proved that I can do it all -- be a good parent, have a life, work, manage it all. But now what? I'm so darned lonely. -- From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: I never thought I'd say it, but you can be too independent. ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: I had plans to go to a film with my BFF and was really looking forward to dishing with her over a meal afterward. But this afternoon, she phoned and canceled. Why? Because some new man in her life wants to see her tonight. What am I, chopped liver? -- From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: Ouch. It hurts to be told your company ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: I've had it with being single. It's full of potholes that never get fixed, and I end up alone, crying myself to sleep many nights. What's with me? Is every unmarried woman hiding tears like me? -- From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: You'd think that a society with more than half its population unwed would rouse itself from ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: I work hard for my employer and feel good about my efforts. You have said that working is the ultimate connection to the world, especially when you're not married. (I've been divorced for a few years.) Please tell me more about that. -- From the "Single File" blog

DEAR BLOGGER: The way I see it, the routine of work is a bridge to ...Read more