ArcaMax

It's a complicated challenge, this single life. On your own, shunning both dependency and isolation, you adjust after a while and learn to be in the present moment. Sleepless nights have taught you that you should not voyage into the future (what could be) too often or dwell in the past (what might have been). The fancy footwork needed to ...Read more

Sexual expression is part of mental and physical well-being. On that, we agree. And as a single person, you also know how important it is to feel caring and commitment from a partner. The truth is that sexual union has the potential to be spiritual communion. Only when it joins soul mates can it express that high level of togetherness. It is ...Read more

I just happen to be reading my own book (titled "Single File," for those of you who haven't done the same) and find myself lingering at the section "Be good to Yourself." This is an issue dear to my heart because to this day, the stereotype lingers of the unmarried as utterly selfish and navel-watching. To be sure, there's much unraveling of ...Read more

Admit it. You and I sigh for it. At times, we yearn for it. We dream of finding it embodied in one special person, discovering the real thing we crave. Everyone's always looking for it. We mask our yearning in a zillion different ways, but it comes down to hunger for the real thing.

But we can help make it appear in our lives. The very thought ...Read more

I love mystery. No, not the murder-mayhem crime scene. The mystery that moves me (and maybe you after you consider my words) is the aura, the enchantment and the spell we can weave around ourselves. But before we get to that, know that my kind of mystery has nothing to do with game playing or trickery in relationships; in my value system, they'...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: OK, so there are shy men and shy women -- and not-so-shy men and not-so-shy women. Why should shyness be seen as something bad, something that needs correcting? Shyness isn't always bad; assertiveness isn't always good. We're just trying to be ourselves in a world that demands conformity. And, Susan, please don't promote women ...Read more

Listen up, because you never know when it will happen to you. Your dear friend lets you know she has just unearthed the most wonderful hunk mankind has ever created, and she knows for sure he's just right for you! You must meet him, she says, searching your eyes for a response.

That's the scenario -- could happen anytime -- for which I most ...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: I've been reading a lot of letters in your column about child support. How about a kid's perspective? My dad never sees me. Why should I want to see him? He owes my siblings and me thousands of dollars' worth of food, clothing, medical treatment, etc. I'm not complaining about apartments that don't have carpet or having to watch ...Read more

Let's take a summer break from the usual, same-old (yawn) essay format and sprinkle some questions about living together as a lifestyle choice and (quite possibly) rebellion against marriage. My nationwide survey saw it coming, this fast-growing option, but no one could have predicted its overwhelming numbers. As it turns out, this extra-legal ...Read more

Agreed, the month of May is the usual time for tributes to moms' indispensable role. But mine is an off-season paean to those women who -- by some inscrutable twist of fate -- find themselves Chairman of the Board, responsible for every decision in their husbandless household. Why now, and why them? Because while motherhood is sacred in America,...Read more

Years ago, during my single-mom-and-widow phase, fear was very much the biggest part of my emotional baggage. A whole family of what-ifs would wake me in the middle of the night and start droning their litany of fear. What if my son never again has a father? What if I get sick and can't care for him? What if that nice man I just met doesn't call...Read more

The Second Look at a promising someone is among my favorite mental delicacies because it changes shape and importance as life (mine, anyway) moves you into new situations. And truth to tell, in my experience, each one seems to ask for (and impart) greater patience, deeper understanding and more worldly wisdom.

The main challenge of the Second ...Read more

Admit it. You've been bowled over by the good looks and smooth manner of someone who shall remain nameless. Who among us hasn't been?! But the last time your eyes locked with his/hers, it just wasn't the same celebration; sparks refused to fly. And there you were, in the middle of a perfectly scrumptious fantasy, when that old devil Reality came...Read more