Goal-oriented, ongoing, meaningful work is the ultimate connection, the taproot into the world around you. By its very nature, it places you in the middle of a varied support group -- from the bank clerk who cashes your check to the salesperson who sells you clothes for the office to the people who work beside you. The routine of work itself is ...Read more
Today, start thinking about how much togetherness you require and how much on-your-own-time you want combined in one relationship. The starting point is to look within yourself -- you don't want to kid your best buddy, do you? -- and come up with an honest answer. Remember, this exercise is strictly between you and you. No one else is entitled ...Read more
DEAR SUSAN: I feel down in the dumps. No special reason, just a lot of nothingness in my life. I never write to advice columnists, but you and "Single File" seem to have some good ideas. Do you have any for me?
DEAR BLOGGER: The way I see them, some low feelings are perennial; they crop up no matter how many times you think you've weeded them ...Read more
No, dear readers, this has nothing to do with exercises. At least not the physical kind. This has to do with attitude and making a relationship (of any kind) run smoothly, with very (very) few flare-ups. That's got to be of interest, since this is a world of many voices and too little calm, rational compromise.
That C word used to bring terror ...Read more
Yes, you! It just might happen that you meet someone you can't get out of your mind, a Wonderful One whose chemistry seems to mesh perfectly with yours. The mere thought of the person makes you grin with a happy secret between you and -- well, you. In other words, for the very first time in a long time, you're floored. And private time spent ...Read more
DEAR SUSAN: Face it. Being singular is a trip. It's not necessarily exotic; it's not always fun. But when you take Susan's advice and strengthen your singleness with savvy people willing to supply you with the information or services you need -- when you need it -- single life gets much easier. And things go much more smoothly, the way they ...Read more
DEAR SUSAN: My friend is so jealous; she tries to outdo me in every way. But we like each other and would be BFF (we've known each other since ninth grade) if it weren't for her envy. What to do?
DEAR BLOGGER: (Sigh.) Our gender is forever being brainwashed in a zillion ways to believe that looking better and being more clever than the next ...Read more
DEAR SUSAN: It may sound strange, but I've found my own version of prayer to be a huge comfort in my low moments. It isn't always the same prayer; I change the words to fit my mood. But praying to a higher power gives me peace. Do other readers tell you something similar?
DEAR BLOGGER: Yes, readers have shared their personal prayers over the ...Read more
DEAR SUSAN: My romance just ended with a bang. He had said he was 40. He's really 63. He swore he was unattached. I discovered he's actually married -- with three children. It was all fairy tale stuff that his wife knew nothing about. I swore if he were to ever contact me again, I'd tell her, so that should keep him away. But still, I keep ...Read more
DEAR SUSAN: My shrink told me I'm in a sick relationship and that I won't be healthy unless I leave it. But my girl and I have been a couple forever. She'd wither and die if I ever left, she said. But she's so possessive she won't let anyone else near us, so we have no friends. And frankly, it's a bit boring -- just her and me, two against the ...Read more
DEAR SUSAN: I'm writing to you because I can't understand something about me and my girlfriend, and it's getting to me. I think I love her. But my friends keep reminding me that when I'm with her, she makes me feel small, like a poor excuse for a man. She's always saying things like that, and I guess I'm used to it. Whenever I tell my friends ...Read more
DEAR SUSAN: I'm a flop at love. I've always been unlucky with the opposite sex. Even in a relationship that seems to be going OK, suddenly, I become the enemy and she's out of there. All I have to remember her by is a sour stomach and an empty date book. Am I cursed -- or a flop?
DEAR BLOGGER: Truth to tell, you're neither. The bad-boy labels ...Read more