DEAR SUSAN: As my fellow blogger said, it's so true. There's not a man alive who wouldn't adore receiving a "humorous card" from a woman who dumped him. Great advice, per usual! But one thing a woman should NOT do if she hates/fears men is treat them like normal human beings or see them as individuals who differ from person to person. Positively...Read more
DEAR SUSAN: How on Earth did you come up with the idea of exercises in singleness? I've heard of situps and pushups for the underused abs and belly muscles, but how does someone exercise their singleness?!
DEAR BLOGGER: The same logic that applies to one's abs or stomach muscles applies to their singleness: Underused is underdeveloped. A ...Read more
You probably know that the Chinese word for "crisis" is composed of the characters for "danger" and "opportunity." Sure, there's danger being an unattached woman. At times, panic and depression creep in, too. But there's also an opportunity that generations of women longed for: the chance to cultivate lifelong self-reliance. When those low ...Read more
DEAR SUSAN: There's only one winner in a race, but I think everyone can find someone if they really want to. Finding a mate isn't a competition; if you, fellow blogger, see countless others with someone alongside and you're always alone -- but don't want to be -- isn't that unfair? Hey, it's unfair that there are millionaires and I'm not one. ...Read more
DEAR SUSAN: When sex is mentioned, I don't think so much of being ashamed of my body as I do "our needs," and that's when my upbringing comes into play. Responsibility, religion, the Golden Rule, role models, friends, my experiences with the opposite sex all shaped my view of sexuality. It's not so much guilt but rather right and wrong that ...Read more
Dear Susan: Can you confirm the following as signs of a cheating wife?
-- Not appreciative of quality sexual intercourse with husband.
-- Interested in sex-oriented movies that praise the male lead's performance.
-- Repeatedly praising the husband of another couple.
-- Repeatedly mentioning another man's attention to her.
-- Finding ways to...Read more
"Love one another, but make not a bond of love;
"Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
"Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
"Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
"Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each of you be alone,
"Even as the strings of a lute are alone ...Read more
It's a grim pun. The coronavirus has done terrible things to families around the world. And no one's immune. Everyone knows someone whose family has been torn apart by its devastation. And it looks as if a long winter must be endured without the promised vaccine.
But -- but -- there are signs the dreaded virus is bringing relationship wisdom. ...Read more
DEAR SUSAN: So, of course the guy in paragraph one of your column doesn't want to feel like "prey." Clearly, he has no idea what it's like to grow up female.
DEAR BLOGGER: Whew. You blew the braid right off my head. What sort of analogy is that? How much damage did it inflict on your psyche as years passed and males whistled and gawked at your ...Read more
DEAR SUSAN: Those supposed "bad boys" are filling some need in girls' lives that makes them take notice -- and feel special. Maybe it's only the cheap rush of danger; maybe it's sexual, but without a doubt, something strong gets their attention! (And nice guys rarely come on as strong!) Males who see themselves as "nice guys" should give up ...Read more
Odds are your first sexual experience wasn't what you thought it would be. Who knew what to expect -- and what you'd be thinking afterward? Odds are you didn't have the foggiest notion of what sex was about. I certainly didn't! And I can sense there are many heads out in Readerland nodding in agreement, not all of them female.
If the end of ...Read more
Whenever someone learns what I do for a living, out pours a torrent of past dating slights. For the first years -- "Single File" is in its 40th year -- I absorbed the slings and arrows, and certain people learned to live with my branch of journalism (and their dating woes), but that was not to be. Yes, there have been a few periods of relative ...Read more
It's complicated, this single life. On your own, shunning both dependency and isolation, after a while, you adjust and learn to live in the present moment. Sleepless nights have taught you not to voyage into the future (what will be) too often and not to dwell in the past (what might have been). The fancy footwork needed to balance that triangle...Read more