Brother Wants To Move In
DEAR HARRIETTE: My 14-year-old brother wants to live with me instead of our parents, and I'm seriously considering it. My brother and I are 20 years apart in age, and I have been out of the house for years now and have been able to secure a good life for myself. I have a good job, a husband and a cute Pomeranian puppy, so I have the means to be able to take care of my brother. Ever since I moved out, my brother has always looked up to me and calls me whenever he needs advice or just wants someone to talk to. Lately, those calls have become more frequent, and he keeps telling me he isn't happy living at home. He says our parents are constantly arguing with him and that he never feels heard or understood. From what I've seen during family gatherings, my parents can be overly strict and often dismiss his feelings instead of trying to understand where he's coming from. At the same time, I know parenting a teenager isn't easy, and I'm sure there is another side to the story that I may not be seeing. My husband has told me he would support whatever decision I make, but we've also talked about how taking in a teenager would completely change our lives. Do you think it would make things better to take in my brother? -- Caretaker
DEAR CARETAKER: Why not start with having your brother visit you on weekends? This will do two things: You will get to live with your brother a little bit and get comfortable with each other without permanence. Your parents will also grow accustomed to him spending time at your home. Trust that it will likely be difficult for them if you do take your brother in entirely. To keep the family peace, it is wise to ease into it.
Establish house rules and discuss values, rules and responsibilities before your brother comes. Create space for you to talk to each other about anything.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a college student and live on campus in New York City. I am entering my junior year and will be the only one in my friend group still living in the dorms. My friends are all moving into two different apartments, one in midtown and one in Jersey City. I am excited to be able to hang out with them outside of the dorms, but I'm nervous. I'm scared that they will get closer since they will be living together full time and that I will miss out on stuff by staying in the dorms. Is it understandable for me to be scared? How can I stop getting in my head so I can embrace this change? -- Scared Student
DEAR SCARED STUDENT: It is likely that your relationship dynamics will change when you and your friends live differently. You need to accept that this is life. Things change, and you have to find your rhythm in the midst of it all. Do your best not to become jealous of their new dynamics. Don't rely solely on them. Consider expanding your group of friends. Build your life.
========
(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
Comments