Mom Upset That Daughter Is Dating Older Man
DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is dating a man who is 17 years older than her, and I am livid. I told her that neither of them is likely in the relationship for honest reasons as he is a wealthy man and she is in her mid-20s.
I don't want to meet this man, but my daughter wants me to. She insists that I am judging their relationship before I've even given him a chance. She says he treats her with kindness and respect, supports her goals and makes her happy. She keeps telling me that she's an adult and is capable of making her own decisions, but I can't get past the age difference and the imbalance in life experience and finances. I worry that someone his age should be looking for a partner closer to his own stage in life, not someone young enough to be his daughter.
Whenever I try to express my concerns, my daughter accuses me of being close-minded and says I'm letting stereotypes cloud my judgment. She says I should be happy that she has found someone who is successful, stable and committed to her. Am I being unreasonable by not supporting my daughter's relationship with an older man? -- Older Man
DEAR OLDER MAN: You should meet this man and hear him out. Since she is already in the relationship, at least you should lay eyes on him and be up-front about how you feel. Ultimately, she has to make her own decisions. You are not wrong to be concerned, but sometimes these unbalanced relationships do work out.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband keeps encouraging me to get Botox and lip filler, but I would rather age naturally. We live in Los Angeles, where many women my age are getting things done like this, so my husband wants me to "look as good as the other women in our circle." At first, he would bring it up only every once in a while, usually after we attended a party or social event. He would make comments about how natural the procedures look these days or mention how many of our friends have had work done. Lately, though, his comments have become more frequent. He has even offered to pay for the treatments and insists that he's suggesting them only because he wants me to feel more confident. I already feel confident. While I don't love every wrinkle or fine line that comes with getting older, I've accepted that aging is a natural part of life. I take good care of myself, exercise regularly, eat well and have a skin care routine I'm happy with. However, my husband's comments are starting to get to me, and I wonder if he is losing interest in me because I'm not getting work done on my face to appear younger. How do I get him to understand that I want to age on my own terms? -- Be Natural
DEAR BE NATURAL: Sit down with your husband and tell him you are confident as you are, aging naturally. What makes you uncomfortable is his constant badgering about you needing to refresh your look. Ask him to stop.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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