ArcaMax

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor's child recently vandalized my fence and got caught lying about it. My husband and I have security cameras, so when we first saw the damage to the fence, we immediately went and checked them. We clearly saw our next-door neighbor's child do it purposely. We went over to their house and asked if anyone in the family did this. They asked all their children, and they all said no. We explained that we had security footage showing exactly what happened, but the child continued to deny it even after being confronted. Eventually, after watching the video, the parents admitted it was their child, but they mostly brushed it off as kids just being kids. While they apologized, they haven't offered to pay for the damage or even asked what it would cost to repair the fence. I don't want to start a fight with the people living next door, but I also don't think we should have to pay for damage that their child intentionally caused. Should I make them take responsibility, or should I let it go to keep the peace in the neighborhood? -- Take Responsibility

DEAR TAKE RESPONSIBILITY: Get an estimate for the damage to your fence and present it to your neighbor. Give them the chance to offer to pay. If they don't, suggest that their child do a certain number of hours of service at your home, perhaps in your yard, to work off the debt.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents are in the middle of a legal dispute, and I feel like I keep getting involved. Growing up, my mom did everything for me and my sister. She raised us, fed us and provided for us all by herself. She received minimal help from my father and never collected child support. She recently filed for child support and had a hearing with a judge. My father called me to complain about it and essentially told me all their drama. I felt extremely uncomfortable with him calling me to complain about my mom to me, especially with how close she and I are. How can I get him to leave me out of their drama? -- Annoyed Child

DEAR ANNOYED CHILD: Tell your father directly that you do not want to be involved in their issues. Ask him to respect you by not trying to talk to you about their problems. Further, tell him how you feel about the situation. What do you remember about his presence -- or lack thereof -- when you were a child? Remind him that he was not there, that your mother struggled for years to be able to take care of you on her own and that you felt abandoned by him. Be up-front about your experience so he knows how you feel.

You should also know that in any relationship, both parties typically have issues. As much as you love your mother, surely there were moments when she was not at her best. Accept that this can be true and that you do not need to get involved in the intimate details of their relationship.

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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole

COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.