Daughter Refuses To Move On From First Love
DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage daughter broke up with her first boyfriend, and she's having a tough time getting over him. It's been almost a year, and she still talks about him incessantly and says he was the love of her life. I have told her many times that she is 16 years old, and she has so much time to meet other people who will love her more. She always replies that this can't be possible because her ex is the only person for her. She constantly brings up memories from their relationship and talks about how much she misses him. She still looks at old pictures of them and sometimes gets upset when she thinks about the fact that they are no longer together. I have tried to remind her that first heartbreaks can feel especially painful, but I don't think she believes me when I tell her these feelings will fade eventually. How can I get my daughter to move on without upsetting her? I want to see my daughter happy again. -- Paralyzed
DEAR PARALYZED: The end of a first love can be devastating, and the long-term effects can be much more impactful than one might imagine. I remember when my high school boyfriend broke up with me. I took to my bed for what felt like a month. I stopped eating. Mainly, I cried. All these years later, I still remember. It took time, but I got over it -- but not without trying to convince him to take me back, an act of desperation that was not pretty.
My best advice to you is to get your daughter a therapist. Put her in the company of a professional who can help her contemplate everything that happened between the two of them and everything else that is going on in her life.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am entering my junior year of college. For the first time in my life, I was away from home for the summer, opting to stay in New York City for the break. I spent the summer working and didn't necessarily get the break that I am used to. For the next two weeks, I am training every single day until 7 p.m. for my on-campus job before classes start the following week. I am scared that I won't perform like I normally do during the semester due to having had no real time off. How can I prevent burnout as the semester begins? -- Scared Student
DEAR SCARED STUDENT: Welcome to the real world. You have entered the world of working adults. Rarely do adults get lengthy time off from their jobs -- at least in the United States. You have to find other ways to refresh yourself since lazing around and chilling were not options. Guess what? You can do it.
For starters, begin an exercise routine that will keep your blood moving and your body energized. Eat healthy, not heavy, salty or sweet. Make smart decisions about eating, exercise and the company you keep. Write things down -- including all major tasks each day so you can keep track of your responsibilities and progress. You can do it!
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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