Neighbor Shows Up For Dinner Regularly
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I fundamentally disagree on how to deal with a neighbor who has no boundaries. This guy has fallen on hard times and does virtually nothing to help himself. He has been offered jobs but doesn't take them. He wanders about almost like a homeless person except that he has lodging. He shows up at our door on a regular basis at exactly mealtime way too often for my taste. We are experiencing tough times now too, what with my business floundering these past couple of years. We can't afford to take care of this man on a regular basis, nor should we have to. I get so mad when I have worked all day and all night -- and he hasn't -- and he shows up at my door for dinner. My husband says we have food, so we should share. Somehow I have become the bad guy because I don't want to feed or entertain this man every day. What's wrong with this picture? -- Boundaries
DEAR BOUNDARIES: This is a tricky situation, and you can at least attempt to control it. Since your husband clearly wants to continue to help this man, organize the help a little. Get your husband to agree to inviting him to one meal per week. With his blessing, he or you can extend that invitation so it's clear when the man can come and when he can't. If he shows up on other days, remind him of when his day is to dine with you.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I live states away from my best friend, and I am starting to be concerned for her. Lately, she's had a whirlwind of things go wrong in her life. Her living situation to get away from her toxic parents for the summer fell through, and she went through a messy breakup, cut off a bad friend and lost her phone all within a span of a few weeks. She keeps telling me how depressed she feels and has even alluded to wanting to hurt herself. I've spoken with her brother (the three of us are close), and he's aware and is trying as best as he can to help her deal with what she has going on. Is there anything I can do to help her even though I am not near her? -- Concerned Friend
DEAR CONCERNED FRIEND: You can continue to stay in close touch with her, preferably having video calls so you can see her face. If she continues to seem even remotely suicidal, point out that she can pick up the phone and call 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. This is a confidential call with a professional who can help her at any time of the day or night. If possible, schedule a time to visit her in the near future. Invite her to come see you. A change of pace may be refreshing for her. With so much happening to her at once, she would benefit from mental health support. Encourage that strongly.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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