ArcaMax

DEAR HARRIETTE: I moved away from my small town in Ohio to go to fashion school in New York City. When I was out and about, a girl stopped me at the train station and asked me who I was. When I confirmed my name, she exclaimed that we went to school together and she graduated a few years before me. We chitchatted for a bit about how we've been before going our separate ways. She said we should follow each other on social media to stay in touch if needed.

Following the interaction, I looked her up and realized I didn't follow her back. I must've unfollowed her after high school since she was a few years older than me and we never really hung out. I felt guilty for not following her and followed her back immediately. Was it rude of me to unfollow her and other people after graduating? -- Small Town, Big City

DEAR SMALL TOWN, BIG CITY: Let go of the past. This young woman recognized you and wants to be in touch. Consider this a fresh start with you as a young adult making your way in the big city. Follow her again and tell her how nice it was to see her. Invite her to hang out with you sometime soon. Build a relationship in the present with her. That's what counts.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm worried about my daughter. She went to study abroad in London for her undergrad degree. She came home for the summer after finishing her freshman year, and she looked so different from when she left. She had lost about 25 pounds and her eyes looked hollow. When she was abroad, I talked to her and FaceTimed her, but I couldn't tell that she was struggling. She told me that she had a wonderful time in London and talked about all the new experiences she had, so I assumed that she was adjusting well. She seemed happy whenever we spoke, and I didn't want to push her too much or make her feel like I was constantly checking in on her. I feel guilty because I spoke with her regularly, but apparently there was so much she wasn't telling me.

I also don't want to assume the worst or make her feel like I don't trust her to handle her own life. My daughter is an adult now, and I know that I can't monitor everything she does or force her to tell me how she is feeling. How can I talk to her about the changes I've noticed and make sure she is truly OK without pushing her away? -- Daughter in Distress

DEAR DAUGHTER IN DISTRESS: Tell your daughter you need to have a serious conversation with her. Get her to sit down with you. Then acknowledge that you are worried about her weight loss and general appearance. Tell her you want to be able to help her in any way possible so that she can be healthy and happy, but you don't want to pry. Ask her to tell you what's going on. If she won't, remind her that if she ever needs anything, you will be there for her with no judgment. That's all you can do. She has to live her life. You can watch and jump in if you feel her life is in jeopardy -- but not before.

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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole

COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.