Life Advice

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Health

Mom Of Three Wants To Prioritize Herself More

Harriette Cole on

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had three children in four and a half years, and I want to get my spark and confidence back. Throughout these back-to-back pregnancies, I gained about 30 pounds, and now I don't feel comfortable in my own body. I've tried to start working out, but I never stay consistent because I'm trying to manage a career while having so many young kids, which can be exhausting. I feel like so much of my time and energy goes toward taking care of everyone else that I rarely have a moment to focus on myself. Between getting the kids ready in the morning, keeping up with the house, working and making sure everyone has what they need, I often put my own needs at the bottom of the list. By the end of the day, the last thing I want to do is exercise or spend time getting ready when I could be resting.

I know that my body has gone through a lot and I am grateful for my children, but I still want to feel like myself again. Sometimes I worry that I am making excuses, but I also know that my life is genuinely very busy right now. I miss feeling beautiful and confident in my own skin. How can I start to prioritize my body as a mom of three children? -- No Time for Me

DEAR NO TIME FOR ME: Hopefully, there is another parent in the picture. Now is the time for you to implore that person to step up. No matter what that person's job and responsibilities may be, there are three children to care for, a household to maintain and only 24 hours in a day. You need help. Demand it so that you can carve out time for yourself. Look around to see if there are any family members who can pitch in. If you can afford to pay for help, do that.

Next, as tough as it will seem, try to get up 30 minutes earlier each day to tend to yourself; try meditation, stretching and exercise. Carve out a bit of quiet time daily. It will help with your peace of mind.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I read with some amusement the solemn concern of "Don't Monitor Me," who wrote in about boundaries in tracking people on phone apps. You may be interested in knowing that my adult daughters, college-aged granddaughter, husband and I share our locations via two location apps. We don't hover and rarely comment on each other's activities. It often saves a phone call to see whether someone is at home for visits. When I was a young woman, before apps and cellphones, my mother would occasionally ask me what I was doing at a particular location where so-and-so had seen me. Those were the human tracking app days. It reminded me to behave myself and added more accountability. Not a bad thing, I'd say. -- Baton Rouge

 

DEAR BATON ROUGE: My mother used to call the way she kept aware of me and my sisters as "having eyes in the back of my head." I totally agree that having someone aware of where you are is healthy. Naturally, you should be able to choose who that is.

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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole


COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.

 

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