Man Falls Short On Planning Date
DEAR HARRIETTE: A couple months back, I met a guy at a local festival. We exchanged our names, numbers and social accounts, and in the week following, we spent several nights on the phone talking and getting to know one another. We talked for hours and hours, and he asked me on our first date. He said he'd plan it within the next few days and let me know. Long story short, the days came and went and he didn't reach out. So I followed up to see if we were still planning to see each other, and he never responded to me. Recently he began complimenting me via social media. After ignoring him on several occasions, I decided to remind him that he ghosted me. He corrected me saying, "Yes, I got quiet. Can I make it up to you?" I have a half a mind to ignore him as he did me, but another half that is still curious about him. But I should steer clear, right? -- Ghosted
DEAR GHOSTED: This is a tricky one. I'm still baffled by the ghosting behavior that seems to dominate dating these days. What happened to simply saying you want to go out or you don't? I don't get it. I also understand your curiosity. Who is this dude, and why is he back? I'm going to say that if you are bored, lonely or just plain interested in figuring out what happened, agree to a date. Go in with your eyes open and try to find out what's in this guy's head. My big caution is not to get excited. He could easily be playing you. Maybe he was talking to a few women he met and chose somebody else that day. This could be his game, so to speak, as he meets women. He has given you no reason to trust him, so don't. Do not assume the positive about him. If you meet him, pay attention and listen. Ask direct questions, and do your best to find out why in the world he thinks it's OK to "get quiet." For the record, tell him that's rude and disrespectful.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a small-town Southern guy who recently started dating a woman from a big city. We're pretty different, but she treats me well and seems genuinely interested in me, and I enjoy spending time with her. Still, I find myself hyperfocusing on the ways our tastes and experiences don't line up. She loves fine dining, art and other things that are outside my usual world, while I'm perfectly happy spending my free time bowling or doing something low-key. I know people don't have to enjoy all the same things to have a good relationship, but I can't shake the feeling that eventually she'll realize she wants someone more like her. We're still new, so I don't want my insecurities to sabotage things between us. How do I stop comparing myself to her and trust that I'm enough for this relationship? -- Different Worlds
DEAR DIFFERENT WORLDS: It's not a question of who's better than whom. You two need to see if you can enjoy being in each other's worlds. So, take her bowling and go to a fancy restaurant. Immerse yourselves in each other's lives to see if you feel comfortable -- both of you.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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