Mom Regrets Giving Up Career, Hobbies
DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I wasted my whole life putting my husband's and children's needs in front of my own. I didn't accomplish the things that young me set out to do. I am now 63 years old and disappointed that I let the idea that I had to have a family put me into a situation where I now am dissatisfied with the way I lived my life. I gave up my career traveling the world as a flight attendant to be a stay-at-home mom. I regret this every day because I loved my job and would likely still be working it today. I stopped practicing my hobbies, which makes me so sad that I've missed out on continuing to practice yoga and roller-skating. I stopped because I needed to take my children to their sports practices, cook dinner, clean the house and so much more.
Now that my children are older, I find myself wondering what my life could have looked like if I had continued working and made time for the things I loved. I love my family, but I feel like somewhere along the way I lost a sense of who I was outside of being a wife and mother. I also feel angry with myself for not realizing sooner that I was allowed to have dreams and interests of my own. How can I let go of the regret for never putting myself first? -- Lost
DEAR LOST: Start right now to reclaim yourself. Pick up those hobbies again. Look into job opportunities that may be fulfilling for you. Put the regret down by making yourself so busy living out today's dreams that there's no room to lament what could have been. You're only 63 -- lace up your roller skates and get yourself into a yoga class!
DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to a gathering this summer, and we all eventually went swimming. I didn't want to as I have gained a lot of weight and have been feeling uncomfortable in my skin. When I saw the photos that people posted from that day, I was mortified. There I was, looking like a blimp on social media. I asked my friend to take the shot down, but it was too late. How can I get friends to not post images of me without my permission? It felt like an invasion of privacy. -- No Posting, Please
DEAR NO POSTING, PLEASE: These days, just being out means there's a chance that someone will photograph you and post it on social media. That doesn't mean you can't ask them not to, though. At a private function, you can definitely ask people not to post images of you publicly. You can also ask people to take photos down if you notice yourself posted on their page. But it's kind of a losing battle. Social media is here to stay, and it is extremely hard to control. It will be much easier for you to present yourself in ways that make you comfortable no matter what. That could mean investing in a flattering swimsuit and cover-up so you feel relaxed.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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