ArcaMax

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom finally got the chance to ring the bell! She beat the big C! After nearly eight months of supporting her through her diagnosis, her treatments, her hair loss, her mastectomy, her good days and her bad days, it feels unreal to begin putting this behind us. My mom is resilient and presses on, but I can see how tired she really is. I can see how much this journey wore her down. After so many major physical changes (to her appearance and her energy), how can I encourage my mom to live her life again? Obviously, I don't want to push her too hard, too soon, but I don't want what she overcame to keep her from finding her joy again either. Any advice would help. -- Sun After the Rain

DEAR SUN AFTER THE RAIN: The journey after undergoing treatment for cancer can be long and unpredictable. Every patient handles life differently. For sure, the hope that comes after ringing that bell in the hospital that indicates that your body has been rid of cancer is and should be palpable. The patient has just been given a chance to survive.

As the family member or loved one of a survivor, your biggest job is to stay attentive and nonjudgmental. Your mom will need you to keep your eyes open and encourage her to live her life. She will not want you to push her too hard. She has to establish a new rhythm for herself that takes into account how she feels each day both physically and mentally. You can help her get comfortable at home again. Gently invite her to move her body by possibly doing daily stretches at home or attending a gym or exercise class. What did she like to do before? Suggest that she go back and take that class, go to that movie or visit with that friend again.

Give your mother space, but stay attentive. Check in with her regularly. You can also nudge her close friends and suggest they call. Apparently, it is common for loved ones to ghost cancer survivors exactly when they can use support. Try to get her core friend group to rally by her side.

If your mom seems down sometimes, know that this is common, but if she doesn't shake it, suggest she go to a therapist. She has gone through a lot. Having professional support may make all the difference in her recovery.

DEAR HARRIETTE: This is for the person who has an ongoing problem with the neighbor's dog digging up their yard and using it as a bathroom: motion activated water sprinklers! They will come on when the dog gets near and will shut off automatically a few minutes after it leaves. They're expensive (around $50) but do the job. I had fun watching my neighbor's dog run home! -- Been There, Done That

DEAR BEEN THERE, DONE THAT: What a brilliant solution! It will surely stop the dog from stepping into your yard without causing anyone harm. That $50 will be very well spent. Thanks for sharing.

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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole

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