Friends Don't Share Commuting Duties To Hang Out
DEAR HARRIETTE: I love my friends, but I hate how inconvenienced they have made me. My friends and I are all college students who met freshman year living in the dorms. It was so easy to hang out with one another because we all lived in the same building and were basically joined at the hip. This year, three of my friends have moved nearly an hour away from me and from campus. It takes me two trains with two separate fares to get to them. My friends are still expecting me to hang out with them most days, even though they're so far. I have invited them to come to my place, but they always ask if I can come to them because they don't want to commute. If they don't want to commute to hang out, why should I be expected to? How can I tell them I think it's unfair for me to always go to them without causing drama? -- A Commuting Friendship
DEAR A COMMUTING FRIENDSHIP: Now that you and your friends live so far apart, you will eventually have to accept that the rhythm of your personal interactions is going to change. If they are unwilling to visit you sometimes, the day will come -- probably soon -- that your visits will become less frequent. For you, this may be harder because they are together and you are alone.
It's time for you to pivot. Look around. You are in school. Open your eyes and notice others in your classes and on campus. It is time for you to expand your universe and include other people so that you don't fully rely on them. Rather than mourning what you once had with your friend group, make another one.
DEAR HARRIETTE: How can I prevent burnout? I'm a college student, and I stayed at school over the summer, not really allowing myself to enter the mindset of a break. Staying at school awarded me with several opportunities, but in some regards, it stripped me of my ability to completely step out of school mode. The semester has only just started, and I'm already finding myself being stressed about class, homework, clubs and work. Do you have any recommendations or techniques on how to concentrate on completing all my work and tasks without falling behind or falling into burnout? -- Stressed
DEAR STRESSED: You just experienced what most adult professionals go through. Generally, there is no extended break for working people. They may take off a week or a few days for vacation, but in America, mostly people work. So, first you should accept that reality. Next, approach your studies with curiosity and enthusiasm. Think about what you are about to learn and who you will meet. This is an exciting time. Approach each semester with a sense of wonder and intrigue. If you are excited about what is before you, you will find the energy to get involved fully.
In terms of avoiding burnout, also carve out time for rest and relaxation. Sleep at least eight hours a day whenever you can. Eat a healthy diet. Move your body daily. Surround yourself with people who love you and support you.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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