Nanny Loses Track Of Child
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a nanny, and I lost track of the child I was watching while we were in the library. I told the parents about it because I wanted to be transparent, and they fired me. They said this incident made them lose trust in me and my capabilities to watch their child. It has been hard to find another nanny job, because they won't give me a recommendation. I completely understand why they were upset, and if I were in their position, I would probably have had the same reaction. Thankfully, the child was found safe just a few minutes later by a librarian in another section of the building, but those few minutes felt like the longest of my life. It was an honest mistake, but I know that mistakes involving children can have serious consequences. Before this, I had never received a single complaint from any family I worked for. I have always been punctual and attentive, and I genuinely cared for the children in my care.
This one incident has made me question whether I should continue working as a nanny at all. Every interview I've had since then has ended once prospective families ask for references from my most recent employer. Without a recommendation, I feel like one mistake has erased years of good work and experience. I don't want to hide what happened, because I believe honesty is important, but I also don't know how to move forward professionally. What should I do? -- Stymied
DEAR STYMIED: Go back to the family and ask to have a talk with them. Ask if they would be willing to write a reference about what worked well with you even if they also mention the momentary loss. If you have a balanced story in hand, at least you could have something to talk about.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I don't feel very close with my children. They're all grown up now, and I'm afraid I didn't put enough emphasis on creating a bond with them as they grew up. I focused more on finding opportunities for them, disciplining them and helping them get on promising paths. But now that they're doing well, and don't exactly "need" me anymore, it seems we lack a connection. I guess I was the unfriendly parent -- strictly business -- and I feel it now. It seems the harder I try to get to know them, the more embarrassed I feel about not already having that type of relationship. How can I build a genuine bond with my children now, so late in the game? -- Long Overdue
DEAR LONG OVERDUE: Tell each of them that you want to start a ritual where you do something special together -- just the two of you. Ask them what they would enjoy -- a meal, a shopping trip, a day at the beach, whatever they want. If they agree, spend the time with them attentively listening and being fully present. Share how proud you are of who they have become and acknowledge that you want to get to know them as adults.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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