ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I volunteer at a center that provides free tax prep for seniors. I am the greeter, and am really tired of people's arrogant and rude behavior to me.

I have received rude and nasty remarks from way too many clients. And this year, I've been told, "Get on your feet, honey," and "This is women's work" when asking people to fill ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a very good friend who has decided to propose to his partner, and I am absolutely thrilled for the couple!

He is very well off, so price was not much of a consideration when it came to selecting the ring. However, he has never had much of an eye for jewelry, so he enlisted my help. I have years of experience working in...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been dating a wonderful man for a couple of years. He has generously given me several gifts, but I have found most of them to be kitschy and I don't really want them in my house. I'm trying to minimalize my home environment, and I'm getting rid of things instead of adding more. I have displayed some of his gifts in my ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I do a lot of recreational traveling, and often take local tours in the countries we visit. In these tours, there are often many comments using America as a punchline. How should I handle this? Just stand there and be humiliated?

GENTLE READER: One cannot open an American newspaper without reading that there is...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Since some political figures have demonstrated and encouraged boorish behavior, what was once seen as good breeding is now eschewed as unnecessary or unmanly. Is there still a place in such a world for civility?

Many cringe-worthy statements are applauded by a (thin) majority of people in the U.S.

GENTLE READER: Well, that's...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is wrong with tourists looking like tourists? Do they expect us to pack fancy clothes?

A local tour guide chewed out all of us Americans for wearing shorts, halter tops, sandals and backpacks. "Would you dress this way in your capital?" he kept saying.

Frankly, yes -- I would, and I have. It's damn hot in our fine ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Whenever someone brings donuts into the office, there are always a few people who cut a donut in half and leave one half in the box.

I feel this is rude, as it is unappetizing to see food that has been cut up and left. I understand they only want half a donut, but I feel they should take the whole thing and throw half away, ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As we are in an election year, help me figure out what to say when a friend asks for your political endorsement, but you think she would be terrible in that elected position. I love this friend dearly, but she absolutely does not have the temperament for the job.

GENTLE READER: Maybe, for the sake of the friendship, do not ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it rude to host an outdoor event at our home and limit the indoor access to restroom use only?

My husband is one of seven siblings, who are all married with multiple children; some of those children are grown and married with children, as well. Needless to say, our combined immediate family is very large. We come from ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We lost power from a hurricane for 10 days. We were lucky we suffered no major damage to our home or our property.

However, once gasoline became available, some neighbors began running generators 24 hours a day. It was so noisy that we had to close our windows to sleep, which became the worst part of the hurricane experience....Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I attended a bridal shower for my friend's future daughter-in-law. Little did I know that I was going to be raked over the coals by my daughter and her friends for wearing a casual white dress.

My daughter called me selfish, and her friends stated that if it was their shower, they would purposefully spill red wine on my dress...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: After several miscarriages, a friend is finally pregnant via IVF. While the couple is thrilled, they often find themselves in the presence of others who are having trouble conceiving or who have given up.

Since they had their share of trouble, they certainly understand, but it's as if their mere presence is now resented. At a...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I would like to explain why some people put their feet on the furniture, or tuck their feet under and sit on them.

The women in my family are short. Most furniture is designed for people taller than us. Our feet do not reach the floor, nor do they reach the stools or ottomans that are usually placed a long-legged length away....Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I hosted a former colleague for a weekend. Like any proud grandmother, she wished to show me a video of her granddaughters singing, to which I happily consented.

I was less pleased, however, when my houseguest proceeded to scroll endlessly through her phone during our simple repast at the dinner table, searching for a ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it acceptable to invite more people to your wedding than may be accommodated, on the theory that inevitably some invitees will decline? Does it matter whether the limit is set by law, venue policy or logistical necessity?

GENTLE READER: How much of a gambler are you?

Most people invite more people than they expect to ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Several years ago, after a long and unhappy marriage, I finally found the strength to leave my husband. It was one of the hardest decisions I've ever made, but I knew I needed to do it for my own well-being.

Because our son was in high school at the time, his dad and I agreed that we would leave it up to him whether he wanted...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I know this will probably sound trivial, but: Who should decide who gets the leftover birthday cake?

See? I told you it was trivial.

I made a birthday cake for my nephew. While I was icing it, I mentioned to his mom (my sister-in-law) that we could share the leftovers. She replied that it was his cake, so he got all of it. I...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: The oddest thing started happening to me when I reached my 80s: Strangers began approaching me to tell me how beautiful I am. It continues regularly at the supermarket, at restaurants or on the bus.

It is unnerving and embarrassing. All my life, no one ever told me I was cute or attractive. I am not ugly, but I've never ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have a good friend who lives near us and is part of a circle of friends who attend each other's gatherings. This friend has become a doomscroller and is very agitated with the political scene. I have asked him to please just try to enjoy our time together and keep the mood light at the parties we host. However, he can't ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I moved to the U.S., I found quite a bit of difference in the dinner party etiquette compared to my home country. When an American co-worker invited me and other friends for dinner with his family at home, it turned out to be extremely stressful, as I was more concerned about avoiding a cultural faux pas than enjoying the...Read more