Life Advice
/Health
Stepping Back From Friendships Without Ending Them
DEAR HARRIETTE: Do you think it's possible to outgrow certain people and friendships? Recently, I've been feeling like I could move on from some childhood friendships. I moved away for college, and I can't relate to some old friends who stayed in our small hometown. I'm growing at a rapid pace, living on my own in New York and navigating ...Read more
Friend Gets Upset About Call For Advice
DEAR HARRIETTE: I work in media and communications, and I was recently offered a role as a media and communications professor. Teaching has always been something I've wanted to do, so I was excited. Just a week before I got the offer, I had a conversation with a friend of mine who has been teaching at the collegiate level for some time. I told ...Read more
Sister Has Road Rage Issues
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm visiting my sister, and I've noticed that she has road rage. I've been here for about two weeks now, and after three days riding around with her, I decided to take cabs wherever I needed to go. She yells and honks and rages, and it just feels excessive to me.
At first, I bit my tongue and hoped for the best, but when she ...Read more
Husband Gambles Away Down Payment On Sports
DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been saving for a house, but I figured out last week that he is addicted to sports betting and that a lot of our savings has been feeding his addiction. I was completely blindsided by this discovery; I genuinely had no idea how serious the situation had become. Over the past year, we had been talking ...Read more
Daughter Cannot Manage To Finish Degree
DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is struggling to complete college. She has been in her undergraduate program now for six years and she will need a seventh before she graduates. She is majoring in mechanical engineering with a minor in data science. I told her when I heard that this was her major and minor that it may be difficult to graduate on time...Read more
Woman Can Help Boyfriend Understand Her Culture
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am an American-born Caribbean woman currently dating an African American man. As we begin to get more serious, I want to introduce him to my family soon. I was raised in an open family that was not xenophobic or exclusionary, so I'm not as worried about him being accepted as I am with him understanding our culture. There are a ...Read more
Family Grapples With Marriage Status
DEAR HARRIETTE: The other day, my mom called me and shared jaw-dropping information. Due to the current political landscape and potential issues with women having different last names from birth and marriage, my mom went downtown to get a copy of her marriage license. The clerk called her up in a frantic state and told her that the courts have ...Read more
Son Has Issues Around Eating
DEAR HARRIETTE: My son hides his food intake, and he's been this way for years. I'm not sure if it stems from him feeling like we used to baby him, but he hates when we offer him food, tell him to pack a to-go plate when he's leaving our place or announce that the food is ready. He won't eat when we tell him to, but once everyone is gone, he'll ...Read more
Friend Worried Woman Is Following In Parent's Footsteps
DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my friends and I grew up in similar situations, with one of our parents being alcoholics. We shared our experiences with each other, and we each expressed that our biggest fear is to turn into our parents. Recently, my friend has been going through some familial issues and has been drinking. Every time I'm at her house, ...Read more
Political Beliefs Put Wedge In Friendship
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently discovered that a new friend of mine has a different political opinion than I do. Since then, I have stopped reaching out and asking to hang out. The other day, she confronted me to ask why I've been distant. I gave her the honest truth: my morals, ethics and beliefs in equality and human rights prevent me from being ...Read more
Mom Relies On Kid For Everything
DEAR HARRIETTE: I love my mom, but she treats every little thing like an emergency, and it's starting to wear on me. Whether she needs help changing her phone settings, opening a jar, finding a contact or even choosing a dress for an event that is months away, everything is urgent to her. She'll ask me something repeatedly (even when I've ...Read more
Woman Wants To Cut Ties With Professional Acquaintance
DEAR HARRIETTE: How do I break off a friendship that I recently made? I am in the same professional networking organization with a woman, and we attend its monthly events together. I have found her to be combative and rude, and I don't want to have to deal with it anymore.
The final straw was when I invited her to a white party my friend was ...Read more
Employee Terrified Of Losing Job
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am having severe anxiety attacks about losing my job. The company I work for has been doing small reorganizations of my department all year. It feels like I am just waiting for my turn to be let go. I am a poor interviewer, and I don't have a large network. Since the economy is so bad, I am scared it may take me years to find a...Read more
Fasting Causes Snappy Behavior
DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been fasting for years -- sometimes for my faith, sometimes for my health -- and overall, it's been a meaningful practice for me. The structure I follow is usually water or tea throughout the day, then one meal after 6 p.m. The challenge is, I've started to notice that when I go long stretches without food, my mood can shift...Read more
Reader Wants To Help Classmate With Her Career
DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, I presented a classmate of mine with an opportunity to step into her career. We were talking about career goals, and she mentioned she wanted to gain more experience. I knew of a low-stakes event that would allow building connections with industry professionals, so I shared as many details as I could and let her know I ...Read more
Boyfriend Upset By Mom And Partner's Relationship
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been dating my boyfriend for six years now, and I have developed a close relationship with his family. We got along immediately, and they welcomed me in. His mom and I speak regularly for long periods, and my boyfriend feels like it's excessive. He doesn't have the best relationship with his mom, and he feels like she isn'...Read more
Teenage Daughter Wants To Study Abroad
DEAR HARRIETTE: My 16-year-old daughter wants to participate in a summer study abroad program, and while I want to support her, I can't shake my concerns. She's never lived away from home before, and the idea of her being in another country without me nearby feels like a big leap for both of us. I do see the value in this experience. It could ...Read more
Teenager Wants To Ride Subway Alone
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a New York City mom, raising two boys in an active part of the city. My oldest is turning 13 years old and wants to start taking the train in high school. I didn't start taking public transportation until I was 16 years old, so I think he is still too young. Aside from obvious safety concerns, the NYC transportation system ...Read more
Mom Wants To Support Daughter Unable To Get Pregnant
DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter has been having trouble getting pregnant. She and her husband have been trying for two years now. They have been to many doctors with no luck. I feel so bad that she is struggling, especially because both of her sisters have been able to have children. I can see how much she wants to be a mother, and it hurts me that ...Read more
Woman Spreads Details About Friend's Relationship
DEAR HARRIETTE: Last weekend, I went to a gathering at my friendÕs house. While there, one of the people present asked how IÕve been, since she'd heard I was going through a rough time. I must have looked confused, because she proceeded to share intimate details about a rough patch I experienced with my ex. This is a woman IÕve met maybe ...Read more












