We have questions today about someone’s potential readiness to be in a relationship, one-word answers in the dating apps, making a good first impression and how to know when it’s time to get back out there after a breakup.

Question: I met a guy. It’s been six months since his separation after more than 20 years of marriage. Is this a deal-breaker?

Answer: A deal-breaker is something like you wanting children and somebody else not wanting children. Or religion. Or drug use. Things like that.

In this case, it sounds like you are trying to avoid getting hurt because you're trying to predict somebody's readiness after their long-term relationship/marriage.

I hate to tell you, but anyone at any point in life could hurt you or not be ready. And sometimes it takes someone trying to date to learn that they are or are not ready.

I don't put a moratorium on people who are separated or recently out of relationships because I simply can't know everybody's story. Some people's relationships end long before the actual separation. Some states have laws about how long you need to be separated if you have minors.

So no. Not a deal-breaker. A personal preference? Sure. And if you want to make a rule for yourself not to date anyone who is separated, you can. Would I recommend black-and-white rules like that? No. But it's up to you.

Interestingly enough, women are much more skeptical about men who are separated or recently single. I never get this question from men.

Q: I use "What piqued your interest in my profile?" often. I get one-word replies and no questions back. Move on?

A: I only recommend asking, "What piqued your interested in my profile?" or "Did something | wrote catch your attention?" if you are a woman who dates men and the guy sent you a message about something physical or something simple but not sexual. For example, "nice smile." It gives them a chance to circle back and show that they have read the profile. (Men, I do not advise you to ask this question. Women strongly dislike it. It looks like you're fishing for compliments. Yes, my advice here differs by gender.)

If they are giving you short answers with no questions, that's when you practice 2QS (two questions and a statement), meaning that you ask two questions and if you still only get a response and no questions back, end things with a statement on your end.

Q: How to make the first date a connection and not an interview? Thanks!

A: A few things:

--Sit next to each other or not across from each other

--Don't be a detective; be an observer (rather than try to suss out things that you deem important, truly listen to what the other person is saying)

--Ask simple questions that the other person already knows the answer to, like things they enjoy doing after work or travel or food; keep it light and present

--Don't get into past relationships, dating intentions, long-term desires, family dynamics, or anything heavy

The first date is simply to see if you have rapport. I would rather you leave the date having learned no factual information but remembering that you enjoyed yourself.

Q: I’m not ready to date after a breakup, but I feel I'm maybe missing chances. Force it anyway?

A: No, don't force it. You'll get much more out of using this time to heal and reconnect with yourself (and friends, community) than forcing yourself to meet new people when you are not ready, which isn't a good use of your time or their time.

You're missing nothing. There will always be interesting and interested people available, if ever or whenever you decide to put yourself out there.

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