New Colleague Doesn't Care For The Lunch Conversation
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My co-worker and I have a routine where we eat lunch together. We like to joke and talk during lunch. A new person started working here, and basically invited herself to lunch with us.
We didn't want to be rude, so we have allowed her to eat with us. However, she seems to get upset when we discuss our personal lives (nothing ...Read more
Sarcasm Starting to Cut Deep
Dear Annie: I have been married for almost 20 years. My husband used to be very jealous and controlling, but we have navigated through that, and he has gotten over these issues. However, his sarcasm is cutting me to the bone. He is very rude to everyone in public -- waiters, clerks, cashiers, etc. He embarrasses me so badly. He isn't rude to ...Read more
Ask Amy: Grief without flowers creates a void
Dear Amy: I just lost my first pregnancy to miscarriage about a week ago. This was particularly difficult because my husband and I had been trying for a while and really wanted to be parents.
In all my excitement, I had told everybody I was pregnant, so I then had to go back and let everybody know the bad news.
Everybody expressed their ...Read more
Woman's Living Arrangement Leaves Her Feeling Trapped
DEAR ABBY: I live with my longtime boyfriend, "George," and his 88-year-old father, "Frank." Frank is not your average 88-year-old. He does almost everything anyone in their 60s would do. However, he's used to us having dinner for him at the same time every night because he's very regimented about everything.
Frank gets everything taken care of...Read more
Annie's Mailbox: Sad Grandma
Dear Annie: My daughter just gave birth to our first grandson. The problem is, she and her husband plan to take the baby to his parents' house for babysitting, even though I offered. We both live nearby. I'd love to watch him at least one or two days a week.
I find my son-in-law to be arrogant and rather disrespectful. I get the impression that...Read more
Remote Employee's Move Causes Challenges
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am writing to ask for advice about how I should handle my employee moving out of the country while we remain a fully remote team. Obviously, she is allowed to work from anywhere she wants to, but scheduling has become a challenge because of the time difference. I'm struggling with finding ways to keep the team connected and ...Read more
I Was Right: Their Famous Friend Is A Jerk
DEAR MISS MANNERS: For years, our friends Cody and Nicole would often talk admirably about a high-profile person they knew. However, I found the descriptions of this man and his actions to be unethical and immoral (think Harvey Weinstein).
At the time, when I expressed my dismay, they treated me in a condescending manner, saying I didn't know ...Read more
Stand Up or Stay Silent?
Dear Annie: I am so upset. A long-distance relative is visiting my parents. For some reason, he has taken a shine to me, but he is cruel to my sibling. He constantly makes derogatory comments about him, saying he's big and making multiple comments about his size or weight. Sometimes it is obtuse, asking him, "Where are you going, to get more ...Read more
Ask Amy: Enabling robs adult son of growth
Dear Amy: My husband and I have always been hard workers.
We were never extravagant, but we believe we have led great lives.
We set aside money for our children to go to school – and we foot the whole bill. Our youngest graduated from college and moved to our second home.
He doesn't pay rent – or any other bills, for that matter.
His ...Read more
Sister-In-Law Miffed When She's Left Out Of Wedding
DEAR ABBY: My brother-in-law and his fiancee, "Shana," have been dating for five years. They have a beautiful son and have a date set for their wedding. I have been with my husband for four years, and married for about a year. We did not have a grand wedding celebration, just a simple city-hall ceremony accompanied by a dinner with immediate ...Read more
Annie's Mailbox: A Parent First
Dear Annie: I am 60 years old and have a cousin the same age. "Kevin's" conversations are sexist, racist, immature and extremely self-centered. He mocks people who recycle and told me helping others is "a waste of time." His takes on current events and politics sound like drunken barroom rants. I find myself walking away from him shell-shocked. ...Read more
Single File: Asking Too Much?
DEAR SUSAN: An avid reader of "Single File," I have had the urge many times to respond to a reader's letter or to comments you made about a reader's problem. Today I must respond to your thoughts on partnership. As a single woman who is 42 years old, I am devastated that my chances of marrying are about 1 percent. In fact, your column made clear...Read more
Erika Ettin: The difference between deleting and deactivating your dating profile (and why it matters)
I recently had someone reach out to me about a dating dilemma. The man she was dating exclusively told her he was no longer on apps; however, a friend spotted his profile, which was not only “active now” but updated. When this person approached the man about it, he claimed the app kept his dating profile active for “research.”
It's Not Too Late To Reach Out To Friend's Dad
DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel so bad. A friend of mine asked me to talk to her dad about a project he is working on. I agreed right away, but then I got distracted. First, I got sick with whatever bug is making its rounds. Then I got so busy playing catch-up at work that I totally forgot. I remembered the other day, but then I felt like such a loser ...Read more
Relative Requests Refill Rather Rudely
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I know that it is not OK to be rude to someone who is rude to you. But what do you do when you observe rudeness done to another person?
I was at a restaurant with three family members. The waiter came by to refill our water glasses, but skipped one of them. That relative said, in a loud, sarcastic voice, "Whaddaya think?"
New Perspectives on Groundbreaking Weight Loss Drugs
Dear Readers: In a recent column, I was critical of the sudden popularity of using diabetes drugs to lose weight. I was responding to news reports that a growing number of people are using them for casual weight loss to drop a few pounds. But too many readers felt that I was not current on the latest scientific studies in this area for the ...Read more
Ask Amy: Community cooperation group forgets to cooperate
Dear Amy: I’m a member of a politically-based affinity group that is going through a lot of dysfunction; it all boils down to an insular, cult-mentality kind of vibe.
Our group refuses to cooperate with anyone who doesn't share our exact (very niche) politics.
However, we're supposed to be a political education group, so this attitude really...Read more
Wife Has No Appreciation For Man's Preferred Dress
DEAR ABBY: I am a man who has been wearing lingerie for the past few decades. I discovered my love of panties when I slipped into my first pair at 17. At 22, I discovered the fun and sexiness of bras and other lingerie, and I wear them under my men's clothing.
I have gone through periods of love and alternating shame for being an "underdresser....Read more
Annie's Mailbox: Get your kidneys checked
Dear Annie: I was just 18 years old when a routine doctor's visit exposed off-the-chart high blood pressure and landed me in the emergency room. As a carefree teen in my first year of college, I felt healthy and assumed it couldn't possibly be anything more than a little stress. Even the ER doctor took a look at me and said he was sure there ...Read more
Friend Wants To Make Sure To See Woman Outside Of Work
DEAR HARRIETTE: I ran into a woman at work I hadn't connected with for more than a year. We have been saying that we were going to get together for dinner, but neither of our schedules would match up. I'm going to say we made dates and broke them about four or five times. When we saw each other today, it was really nice, but we both looked at ...Read more
Inside Life Advice
- Erika Ettin: Dating advice from my dad
- Erika Ettin: 3 pieces of old-school dating wisdom that have not stood the test of time
- Erika Ettin: Is paying for an online dating site worth it? Here's what the stats say
- Erika Ettin: The difference between deleting and deactivating your dating profile (and why it matters)
- Erika Ettin: How to explain a bad date, with help from psychology