Life Advice
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Asking Eric: Friend ghosted after big monetary gift
Dear Eric: I am a 33-year-old male on the autism spectrum. I have a friend, "Katie," who has been a big part of my life for the last few years. I have been a mentor and friend for her three little boys, and she, in return, has been a good friend to me.
Katie deals with a lot of anxiety (she considers herself neurodiverse, possibly on the High ...Read more
21-Year-Old Stressed Over Parents' Low Savings
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 21-year-old woman, and I am feeling increasingly stressed and overwhelmed about my parents' low savings. Over the past few years, my mom and dad have been making it known to me and my siblings that they have very little savings and are unsure if they will ever be able to retire. This revelation has created a significant ...Read more
Taking Phone Calls During Family Events
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Fifteen minutes after arriving at an informal family get-together at someone's home, a relative took a phone call. She stepped out of the room where everyone was gathered and could be heard down the hall talking for the next 45 minutes.
This kind of thing seems to happen rather often. Am I alone in viewing it as inconsiderate...Read more
How Can I Help My Neighbor?
Dear Annie: I have a neighbor who is 90 years old. Her only caregiver was her adult son, who just died last week after a long struggle with opioid addiction. Since then, I and another neighbor have been checking on her several times a day, as she needs a lot of care. We've been grocery shopping for her, picking up prescriptions and running ...Read more
Sister's Bird Gets The Royal Treatment
DEAR ABBY: My sister has a squawky bird she insists on keeping alongside the dinner table when she invites guests for dinner. Its ear-piercing screeching inhibits guests' ability to carry on normal conversation, so I asked her if, in the future, she could please put the bird in another room during dinner. She responded that the bird is a family ...Read more
Asking Eric: Successful sons refuse to leave the nest
Dear Eric: My sons are currently 26 and 24 years old. Both went to amazing colleges and currently have six-figure careers. They both moved back home when their colleges shut down for COVID.
Neither son is looking to "launch" from the nest, blaming high costs of living in our area, blaming boomers for ruining the world, etc. They have a bad ...Read more
Parent Expects Graduating Daughter To Take Family Dog
DEAR HARRIETTE: Am I unreasonable for expecting my daughter to take her dog with her after she graduates from college? When my daughter was in fifth grade, she really wanted a dog. I wasn't particularly keen on the idea, but she was persistent. She promised to take care of him, and I gave in. We got a Pomeranian, and he's been with us ever since...Read more
Issue A Specific Invitation To Generous Neighbors
DEAR MISS MANNERS: We live in a small beach community. Five years ago, we met a lovely couple who have a vacation home across the street. We are all semi-retired. They are both gourmet chefs and entertainers, and invite us over about eight times a year.
It's always fun. They also invite other couples for dinner throughout the year on other ...Read more
Need My Makeup
Dear Annie: I am a 29-year-old woman, and I've been having an ongoing debate with my boyfriend of 10 years.
I wear makeup because I am insecure about my skin and my face in general. I have tried any and all products recommended to me to help clear up my skin.
I have suffered from eating disorders in the past and have constant fixation and ...Read more
Retired Husband Lives With Physical And Emotional Pain
DEAR ABBY: My husband has been retired from law enforcement for five years. I can't retire, as I am self-employed. I was always the one who had to take time off work to care for him with his back and hip surgeries, his mom, his dad and my mom for the past 15 years. I also took care of his kids during weekend visits.
He has spent his retirement ...Read more
Single File: Chairman of the Board
As a single parent (Chairman of the Board) your first loyalty is to your children. Yes, you are an adult with normal needs for affection, but sleepover lovers are an intrusion into the innocence of your on-premises children. Reserve that kind of loving for times when the little ones are not at home.
You probably know by now how strongly I feel ...Read more
Is ChatGPT an online dating lifesaver or hinderance?
By now, we’ve all probably experimented with AI tools like ChatGPT — maybe to help us write an essay or outline for work, to help us plan a vacation, or maybe just for fun to see what kind of answers would come up to silly questions while sitting around with friends. But it recently came to my attention that some are turning to chatbots for ...Read more
Asking Eric: Son-in-law won’t stop sending political texts
Dear Eric: My 89-year-old mom is a button-wearing, T-shirt slogan, lifelong Democrat. She is also afraid of confrontation. My younger sister's husband, who leans Republican, forwards my mother texts from Fox News and people on X making fun of Democrats. Sometimes she's so upset she can't sleep because what he forwards may seem funny to him, but ...Read more
Wages Keep Babysitter With Abusive Family
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm really stuck right now and could use some advice. I'm 29, and I work as a babysitter for a family that pays really well, which is crucial for my daughter's therapy bills. The problem is that the parents have been treating me poorly -- lots of verbal abuse and unreasonable demands. I'm concerned about my safety if their ...Read more
Hubby's Work-From-Wherever Habits Disrupt Wife's Routine
DEAR MISS MANNERS: In this modern age, many workers have the option of working from home at least part of the week. My husband is one of them.
Several years ago, he installed himself at the kitchen table, where, for years, I had done my own work (household bills, etc.). There wasn't so much as a "May I set up here?" or "Is this where you do ...Read more
The Benefits of a Phone Break
Dear Annie: I made the decision to put down my phone for a while, and the results have been wonderful.
Today was my "allowed" day to pick up my phone again. I had given myself a three-day restriction, and today was the fourth day. During those three days, I only answered for my dad calling. He's 86, and I don't want to miss one minute of his ...Read more
Snooping Boyfriend Unhappy About What He's Discovered
DEAR ABBY: I'm a single man, and have been for 15 years. A year ago, I met a guy, "Josh," and we fell in love. He lived 240 miles away. A month ago, he transferred his job to my city and moved in with me. (I supported this 100%.) I had sown my wild oats long before he moved in.
Everything was going great until recently. Josh logged into my ...Read more
Ask Anna: What counts as flirting on social media?
Dear Anna,
I’m a bisexual woman, married to another woman. We’ve been together for four years and things are generally good. The big issue is that my wife works as a photographer, and she’s constantly shooting with attractive models, which I totally get and I'm cool with. But here's the thing — every few months, there's a new model she'...Read more
Asking Eric: Family wants to support nephew without condoning behavior
Dear Eric: My adult nephew and his girlfriend recently had a child. They are both in their mid-30s and neither has gainful employment. My nephew has also struggled with mental health issues. His mother passed away several years ago, so his remaining family system consists of grandparents, aunts and uncles.
I am trying to reconcile my feelings ...Read more
Partner Supports Sabbatical Despite Concerns
DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been dating my partner, "Harper," for over a year, and we have a strong and supportive relationship. On her birthday, Harper expressed her desire to take a yearlong sabbatical to travel and pursue personal interests, which has been a long-held dream of hers. While I fully support Harper's decision, I'm concerned about how ...Read more
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