Life Advice
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Healing From the Heartache of Abusive Adoptive Parents
Dear Annie: I come from a long history of family dysfunction. Child abuse, toxicity and abandonment are all I ever knew growing up. I developed severe complex PTSD and borderline personality disorder coming into my preteen years. I remember the blame was solely on me for my severe depression, suicide attempts and deep-seated suffering from my ...Read more
Ask Amy: DNA discovery leads to awkward reality
Dear Amy: I recently completed genetic testing and learned that my brother and I are half-siblings.
We have the same mother, but we do not have the same father.
Fortunately, my mother (who is in her late 80s) is still living, so I asked her about our fathers.
She said that my dad was sterile, so she and my dad used IVF to have my brother and ...Read more
Making Peace With Family Estrangement
Dear Annie: Sixteen years ago, I separated from my wife, as we were headed toward a divorce. Her father, "Bob," just lost it; he was so angry over the divorce. He swore to me that he would do everything he could and spend his last dime to take my sons away from me. He did his best to ruin my career, to no avail. However, through paying for ...Read more
Ask Amy: A demanding gram wants to lay down the law
Dear Amy: When our son visits us with his teenage daughter, she totally trashes her room during her stay.
As the grandmother and host, can I demand that she keep her room in some semblance of order?
– Demanding Gram
Dear Gram: It’s your home, and you can issue demands with abandon.
But your son should work with his daughter to teach her ...Read more
Ghosting is ruthless. So why are we all doing it?
LOS ANGELES -- Alexis Fischer was excited to jump back into the dating world after being single for two years.
The professional dancer-turned-entrepreneur took time to heal from her breakup with her ex-boyfriend of nearly four years. She also wanted to focus on building her business, the Move by Lexfish app, where she teaches virtual Pilates, ...Read more
Ask Anna: Caught in the act? How to bounce back from awkward encounters with parents
Dear Anna,
I've been dating my boyfriend for about six months now. He's at college in Ohio while I'm stuck in our small town in Iowa. We've been trying to make the long-distance thing work and keep the connection and, y'know, the spark. So last night, we were video chatting. With miles between us, things started to get a bit...well, heated, if ...Read more
Healing Is Required on Both Sides
Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 17 years and have five adopted children through foster care. We have gone through a lot of tough situations with the children during the last six years, which put a lot of pressure on our marriage, including financially. During that time, my husband lashed out at me frequently. He has said ...Read more
Ask Amy: Husband’s new friend becomes a menace
Dear Amy: My husband and I are in our mid-70s
“Steve” is 20 years younger. He befriended my husband and started stopping by our house, offering help with technical problems.
Steve would chat with me and then head to the "man cave" to watch sports on TV, etc. with my husband.
He seemed nice.
A couple of months ago, Steve grabbed my face ...Read more
Millennial Life: When the Mandate Is Simply 'Do Something'
The email didn't address me by name, so I looked at the header to see if I was the only one listed or if it was a mass email blast. It looked like it was just sent to me, demanding I "do something" about the homeless encampments at a park near my house. For a change, I knew what the steps would be in this case, and I happily tip-tapped on the ...Read more
Falling for Wife's Sister
Dear Annie: I'm retired, which is fine, but not having to go to a job only leaves me with more time to live with my problem. It's one that I've had for a very long time. My wife's sister came to live with us, and I got along with her very well, and when I wasn't working, we spent a lot of time together. We had a lot in common, which led to me ...Read more
Ask Amy: Grandmother crafts herself into a corner
Dear Amy: My son’s ex-wife, “Tammy,” recently had a baby with her new husband.
Tammy also has two children with my son.
I recently made slippers for my grandsons and sent the slippers to them.
I told my son about it, and now he’s asking me to make a pair of slippers for the new baby.
I don’t think I need to, as that baby is not my ...Read more
Good Friend Insists on Reciprocating Gifts
Dear Annie: I have a longtime friend who has serious trouble with gifts. It is very difficult to give her anything because she insists on "evening the score" by responding with a gift back to the giver. For instance, we comfortably exchanged token holiday gifts at my place, but my husband learned she liked a certain special candy we had on hand,...Read more
Ask Amy: Parents offer advice about emptying the nest
Dear Readers: A recent question from “Not So Empty Nest Mom” sought solutions on how to deal with her two adult daughters’ stuff, which was currently filling the family garage after the daughters had left home.
I asked readers to offer their own solutions, and this column is devoted to these suggestions.
Dear Amy: I have two sons. ...Read more
Balancing Boundaries and Support
Dear Annie: I have been dating my boyfriend for four years and am very lucky to call him mine. He loves me well, gets along with everyone he meets and is very giving. His mother, on the other hand, is a taker, financially and emotionally. She hates her job and where she lives but is not willing to make a change. She relies on her two sons ...Read more
Ask Amy: Partner wants to tag along on business trip
Dear Amy: I am an art historian, out of graduate school for about five years. I am now pursuing my Ph.D., also teaching, and am starting to get invited to do presentations and sit on panels at academic conferences.
My problem is that my boyfriend says he would like to come with me to my first conference to, as he says, “Cheer me on.”
I’m...Read more
Love, Loss and Longing
Dear Annie: I'll be married for 25 years this coming June, 30 years together. My husband is great, but he is not interested in sex anymore. He told me, "It's just not important to me."
I'm in my mid-40s and am desperate for intimacy and affection. But aside from that, I enjoy my family dynamics. I don't want to break that up for my own selfish ...Read more
Ask Amy: Friend won’t let bestie be ‘the other woman’
Dear Amy: I believe my best friend “Lara” may knowingly be the “other woman” in an affair. Lara has recently started seeing “Jonas,” an ex from her college days.
He contacted her about six months ago and it began as a friendly conversation from afar (they live in different states).
They've seen each other in person twice now – ...Read more
Single File: The Savior Complex
Love is not social work. Yes, I've said it before, but given more space and newsprint, let's really dig into the concept. All of us have at some point met someone who shakes our universe but comes with a lot of baggage. To be kind, let's call them issues. We brush aside friends' warnings -- and our own viscera -- to help this deserving person ...Read more
Why writing an accurate profile is better than creating an interesting one
As anyone who has tried it knows that online dating can have its fair share of challenges … and it all starts with writing your profile. And as someone who has read thousands of bios over the years, believe me when I say that many (very many) people are going about it incorrectly.
Sure, there are the common mistakes: lazy profiles that ...Read more
How to help a friend after a devastating breakup? Your first instinct is wrong
LOS ANGELES — It's hard to know what to do or say when a loved one is in the throes of a devastating breakup. No matter what you try — talking about it, not talking about it, vilifying the ex, coming up with fun distractions — they remain consumed with grief. Is there a right way to ease the pain?
There is, according to experts. Although ...Read more
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