ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I am sick, I need to rest and conserve my energy. I don't want visitors, as then I feel I have to host, perform and even offer food and drink when all I want to do is sleep.

I don't look presentable, and I shouldn't feel obligated to shave and shower to receive guests. I don't want them to see me in pajamas, unshaven, looking awful and feeling worse. I also am afraid that visitors will extend their visits far too long, exhausting me even more. Nor do I want to hear their relationship drama or the itinerary for their next vacation.

1. Am I being rude to decline well-meaning visits when I am sick? I feel obligated to entertain these friends, and I resent it. They seem to think I am lonely, but I'm too tired and too ill to feel lonely. I get the feeling that they are actually the lonely ones.

2. How do I politely but firmly let people know that I need to spend what little energy I have on myself?

GENTLE READER: Everybody else who wants to get out of something claims to be sick. And you can't think of an excuse?

Try "I don't feel up to seeing anyone," or "I need to sleep."

If anyone persists, follow up with, "I would feel terrible if you came down with this" -- which you would, Miss Manners knows. Because then they might expect you to visit them.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it ever polite to tell a politician that you think they belong in jail?

GENTLE READER: If you are the prosecuting attorney, yes.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We used to have something called blanket covers on the beds: thin coverings to keep wool blankets from having to be washed as often as sheets.

A blanket cover also served to protect the blanket if someone wanted to take a nap under the bedspread.

Do these covers still exist somewhere, and do you know what they were made of?

GENTLE READER: They were driven away by those big bullies, duvets. If you ask for a blanket cover now, you will probably be given the cover for a duvet, which is not the same thing.

Blanket covers date from a time when people actually made their beds instead of throwing a huge pillowy thing over the mess. Sheets and blankets were stretched tightly over the mattress, pillows were placed at the head, and an actual bedspread, to be totally removed at sleep time, was tucked in on top.

For those who didn't resent this labor, a nice optional touch was to add a blanket cover, obviously over the blanket. This was distinguished from a bedsheet by being of a thinner material, often embroidered. Or it could be crocheted, so that the blanket showed through it.

Miss Manners wishes you luck in finding one. Or making one. It is several generations now since people appreciated the satisfaction of performing the bed-making ritual before facing the day.

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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Copyright 2026 Judith Martin

COPYRIGHT 2026 JUDITH MARTIN