ArcaMax

DEAR MISS MANNERS: The employees at the school I work at have been asked not to wear scents due to the alleged allergies claimed by a co-worker. The students have not been directed to do the same.

So I arranged with a co-worker I'm friends with to thank her profusely, in front of the "allergic" person, for the body spray she gave me. My friend sniffed me, saying how much she loved the scent.

I wasn't actually wearing any body spray, but sure enough, the "allergic" person started wheezing, eyes watering, the whole nine yards. I had been in this person's presence for 10 minutes before this conversation, and all had been well.

Should I go to HR about a directive based on this person's faking, or just let the story out so the rest of us can go back to wearing scents? People seem to claim an allergy when they just don't like something.

GENTLE READER: What a wonderful example we are setting for the children, between the fake medical excuses on the one side, and entrapment -- and perhaps willful misunderstanding of the policy -- on the other.

Miss Manners does not know the specifics of your school's directive, but workplace rules against excessive perfuming are a perfectly ordinary way of establishing a happy medium between the perfumed and those with actual allergies. Besides the children, her sympathy goes out to the HR directors, of whom she assumes there will be a long line, as each throws up his or her hands and resigns after realizing that the employees are more interested in punishment than education.

Instead of spreading a story that will further divide the school into supporters and detractors, speak to HR about whether there is a better policy that balances reasonable scenting while protecting those with actual allergies. You can voice your suspicions about the person in question, but do not be surprised if HR is already aware that she is overdramatizing.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I find it rude when callers who misdial just hang up, rather than simply saying, "I'm sorry, I misdialed this number." Is this too much of a stretch of manners?

GENTLE READER: Your expectation is quite reasonable, but as Miss Manners does not want to be inundated by people who understand the telephone system far better than herself, she will append a codicil that she understands to be vague.

If a dialer recognizes having made a mistake before entering all of the digits, the transaction can be terminated before there is anything for which to apologize. Similarly, there is a brief time after all of the digits have been entered, but before the call rings on your end.

Miss Manners realizes that neither she nor the caller has any way of knowing how long this time lasts. She proposes to allow hangups in this indeterminate time on two conditions: first, that we all agree that this period is quite short; and second, that no one tries to explain to her how this time may be quantified more exactly.

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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

Copyright 2026 Judith Martin

COPYRIGHT 2026 JUDITH MARTIN