ArcaMax

As the calendar winds down, I reflect on the lessons learned during my first full year as a city council member. One theme stands out: my commitment to operate in good faith, even when it hasn't always been reciprocated.

Good faith is about assuming positive intentions, engaging with openness, and striving to find common ground. It's about ...Read more

Dear Annie: For the past year, I have been in a "relationship" with Alex, who has simultaneously been involved with two or three other women. Despite this and a 15-year age gap, we generally get along well and share many things in common.

Recently, however, I've uncovered some deeply troubling truths about him. Alex is an addict, and his ...Read more

DEAR ABBY: A year ago, I found out my husband has been cheating on me with multiple women for more than a decade and kept two of his conquests for that entire time. He also sent all our savings to his girlfriends in another country. Because we have two disabled adult children and one neurotypical adult child, I decided to stay in the marriage.

...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: Returning to New York City after five years abroad is both exciting and overwhelming. The thought of the logistics -- flights, packing and navigating the city -- makes me anxious, and it's taking away from the joy of planning my trip. I want to enjoy the experience, but I feel like there's so much to consider. To ease my anxiety,...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I grew up in an era where it was customary to enclose a personal check in a greeting card as a gift. This worked for celebrations attended in person, and also when the card and gift were mailed.

Personal checks are being used less and less. I personally write maybe two or three per month.

My adult daughter just attended the ...Read more

Dear Annie: I have known "Gabe" for 13 to 14 years now. We met through the website Meetup and have attended social events. He's awkward in social settings and wasn't included in groups. I felt bad for him, so I included him. At that time, I was planning on leaving town, so I thought the right thing to do was to continue to invite him every now...Read more

DEAR ABBY: After several months of weight loss, our preteen daughter was hospitalized after a trip to the ER. She was diagnosed with ARFID. It's an eating disorder we had never heard of but one in which the patient is NOT deliberately losing weight or attempting to change their body.

We canceled a vacation and have taken time off work to circle...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: My younger sister is getting married to a man with a significant number of financial issues, and I'm really worried about her future. He has $300,000 in combined credit card debt and student loans, and to make matters worse, he's earning only $40,000 a year. Meanwhile, my sister is much more successful; she has no debt and a ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm looking for your advice on how to handle a recurring issue: people taking advantage of my kindness and my cooking skills.

While I understand that not everyone is comfortable cooking, I believe they could still offer to help with other kitchen tasks. Unfortunately, some do nothing at all and simply enjoy the food I've ...Read more

Dear Annie: I will be inheriting a modest sum of money and want to gift some of it to my two married children. I also want to gift some money to my daughter's two young children to be used for future educational needs. My son and his wife don't have children and will likely not have any in the future. They lost beautiful twins born prematurely...Read more

DEAR ABBY: My husband took me on a trip for my birthday this year, only he didn't prepare for anything other than some sightseeing events. He didn't help plan for camping, didn't financially plan well for souvenirs or if we wanted to eat out, and had a crappy attitude the entire time. We got into an argument at almost every event we went to ...Read more

DEAR HARRIETTE: When I was single, I never learned how to cook; my mom always took care of that for us. However, after getting married, I've been wanting to learn how to cook more than just fried foods and to try more varied meals. The problem is that I always feel intimidated by complicated recipes. I end up sticking to the same meals every ...Read more

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am 21 years old, and I have worked in assorted venues of customer service since I was 17. I am currently employed at a bank, and frequently a customer will ask a question to which I do not know the answer.

This requires me to leave the service area and ask my supervisor. Is it proper to say to my supervisor, "This lady (or ...Read more

Dear Annie: I have three children, a son and two daughters. I am a widow, and my family has always been close and caring. My son lives in the same city as I do. He's very caring and checks on me every day.

My daughters live out of town, about two hours away. My oldest daughter and her husband come about once a month. They are very attentive. ...Read more

DEAR ABBY: I think the world of "Celia," my best friend of 25 years. She has been there for me through many major ups and downs in my life. She is beautiful inside and out, well-educated and works hard.

Celia has been in a five-year relationship with an old friend I'll call "Vince." I think he is a nice guy, but not for her. He has no desire to...Read more

DEAR SUSAN: My mother and I have talked over the same question you asked today. And here's what I've come up with:

No. 1: MARRIAGE IS HARD TO GET OUT OF. I grew up thinking my father paid so little attention to my mother she might as well be single. And yet she was stuck -- unhappy, neglected, unwilling to divorce on moral grounds, maybe even ...Read more