Life Advice
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A Painful Story Taken Without Permission
Dear Annie: I'm a senior citizen. Fifty years ago, another young girl and I were in a juvenile detention facility for very minor infractions that would not lead to incarceration today. I was repeatedly raped by two counselors throughout our months there. This other girl was not mistreated in any way because she was related to the spouse of one...Read more
Asking Eric: Volatile daughter-in-law overhears family talking about her
Dear Eric: My husband and I are in our 70s and have never really been able to get close with our daughter-in-law.
She and our son have been married for 13 years. She is nine years younger than him and this is his second marriage. They have one child, who is 11.
She is always angry. She has a very explosive temper and yells, slams doors and has...Read more
Maintaining Love Across a Political Divide
Dear Annie: I never imagined I would be writing to you about this, but I'm at a loss and worried sick.
One of my adult sons has become deeply involved in far-right political activism. What began as strong opinions has hardened into something extreme and all-consuming. His social media is a nonstop stream of posts about the latest ...Read more
Asking Eric: Boyfriend says ‘I love you’ but won’t commit
Dear Eric: I’m in my early 30s and seeing a really great guy. He checks a lot of boxes for me and I’m happy with him. My boyfriend and I said “I love you” to each other a few weeks ago. He said it first, and I said it back. We’ve been dating for about six weeks, so this feels normal. This isn’t my first relationship, but it’s ...Read more
When Love Defies Logic
Dear Annie: I've always been someone who struggles between my head and my heart. I see things that I want so badly and my heart aches for them, but I know better when those things don't mesh well with my life. Like denying my favorite piece of chocolate cake because it's bad for my diet.
Normally, this is one of my best traits. I was very ...Read more
Ask Anna: My girlfriend's male coworker texts her constantly -- should I be worried?
Dear Anna,
I’m 35 and my girlfriend is 30. She works at a tech startup and has gotten really close with one of her coworkers — a 28-year-old guy who just moved to the city. They’re part of a work friend group that hangs out outside the office pretty regularly. Last weekend, the whole group went to a concert that I wanted to go to, but I ...Read more
Single File: Fusion Feminism
Again and again, my mind returns to the letters I receive from women discouraged and frustrated in their relationships with men. Recently, when I was thinking about a photo I had seen of Gloria Steinem in softly curled tresses, the letters and the photo jelled and became an insight: The chief exponent of female equality was urging her flock ...Read more
Ask Dating Coach Erika: How do I manage the grief associated with not finding what I'm looking for?
Today, we have five questions across all aspects of dating:
Q: How do I manage the grief associated with not finding what I’m looking for?
A: This is an interesting question that can answer in a few different ways.
First, I completely understand what you're saying. Most people's lives don't go in exactly the way they want. So we do have to ...Read more
Asking Eric: Friend group sides with suspicious HOA president against whistleblower
Dear Eric: For the past 10 years, a core group in our Homeowners’ Association (HOA) has been very close.
We get together on weekends, have meals together, attend HOA events and even go on vacations with each other. One member of our group is the HOA president and has held that position for more than 20 years.
While the HOA board funded many ...Read more
Asking Eric: Friend’s ADHD diagnosis causes conflict
Dear Eric: My friend was recently diagnosed with ADHD. She is now continually late for events or doesn’t show up at all. On one occasion my friend was coming for dinner at my house. An hour before she was due, I got a text from another friend saying they were now having dinner at her place. My first friend didn’t contact me at all, not to ...Read more
Stepping Back From Toxic In-Laws
Dear Annie: I've been happily married for more than 40 years. The one shadow on that happiness has been my relationship with my husband's family, especially my mother-in-law. From the beginning, she has never seemed to like me. I honestly do not know why. Over the years, she has been dismissive and unkind, and I have usually stayed quiet to ...Read more
Friend Is Gambling His Money Away
Dear Annie: My best friend and I have been close since college. He is the person who helped me move into my first apartment, who showed up with coffee during finals, who still remembers the name of my childhood dog. That is why it hurts so much to watch him repeat the same pattern that already cost him almost everything.
Years ago, his ...Read more
Millennial Life: Letting Joy Lift You
The city invited me to ride on its inaugural hot-air balloon flight. We headed to the local high school fields at a chilly dawn, and the brand new balloon slowly woke as air and heat gave it shape. The burners thundered, and the basket rocked beneath our feet. Then the ground loosened its hold. Gravity softened. The familiar sense of weight, not...Read more
Being Punished for Moving Forward
Dear Annie: I got divorced after 27 years of marriage. I didn't leave because I stopped loving my husband -- I left because I was lonely inside my own home. We stopped talking, stopped laughing, stopped noticing each other. I spent years saying, "It's fine" until one day I realized I didn't want my life to be fine. I wanted it to be real.
My ...Read more
Dear Annie: Abusive 20-Year Relationship Must Come to an End
Dear Annie: I see that you often answer questions pertaining to families trapped in addiction. I grew up in that special hell with all of the complex trauma issues that go along with that lifestyle.
I am a card-carrying member of Alcoholics Anonymous and Adult Children of Alcoholics. I have found ACA the most helpful. You never mention it, so I...Read more
Three best friends from childhood decided to commit -- by buying a communal house together
The Rachels met each other when they were 5 and 6 years old, and they met Lizzy Seitel — who would come to be known as one of the Rachels despite her name — in middle school.
They all lived in the D.C. area, and one weekend they took part in a retreat with Cheder, a progressive Jewish community in the area. In Seitel’s recollection, they ...Read more
Dear Annie: Growing Impatient With Friend's Ingratitude
Dear Annie: I am struggling with what to do about one of my very best friends who is basically family to me at this point. Throughout our friendship, I have noticed that she does not say "thank you" very often. This includes when a gift is given to her or even when a customer purchases something in person from her small business.
When I have ...Read more
Ask Anna: My partner won't cut ties with his ex after their divorce
Dear Anna,
I’m a 38-year-old woman and recently reconnected with my ex-boyfriend from college, who’s now 40. We dated for two years when we were 22 and 24, and it was intense and meaningful before life pulled us in different directions.
We’ve been back together for about five months now, and he’s everything I remembered, except for one...Read more
Single File: I Dare You
Ready for some dares that just might tickle your brain? Well, for openers, I dare you to plan your free time without leaving spaces for possible dates.
I dare you to regard Saturday night -- that holy of holies -- as merely one-seventh of the week. Nothing special. (Beginning to get my point?)
I dare you to plan the week ahead as a unit. ...Read more
'Sex to me is like having anchovies -- yeah, I suppose I could, but I'd really rather not'
PHILADELPHIA -- Chris Summers was born in South Philly and raised by her grandmother and her mother. She knew she was supposed to get married, but she never felt exactly like the people around her.
The main sticking point was sex: she didn’t want to have it, yet she still longed for romantic companionship.
”I really crave connection and ...Read more
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