Life Advice
/Health
/ArcaMax
Lessons on Responsibility and Compassion for Animals
Dear Readers: Many of you wrote in about the "Tossed Kittens" column and told me where I missed some points. I appreciate the feedback and want to share a few of these letters:
Dear Annie: I was horrified to read about the woman who abandoned three kittens in the wild, especially after they had been socialized. There were so many alternatives...Read more

Asking Eric: Asking Eric: Divorced in-laws overwhelm son’s wife with texts
Dear Eric: My husband's parents are divorced. In the last year or so (after being married to their son for nine years) my in-laws have started communicating with me instead of my husband to make plans. Example: My husband called his dad to make New Year’s plans. A few days later, my father-in-law texted me with the details about times to ...Read more
Friend Feels Forgotten After Surgery
Dear Annie: I value your advice and would like your opinion. I recently had hip replacement surgery. I now have mobility issues and cannot perform many tasks that I could in the past. I cannot walk now without a walker.
I had a friend who I thought was a close friend. We live about half a block from each other. In the past, when she had ...Read more

Asking Eric: In grief, widow only wants to spend time with pets
Dear Eric: I am becoming aware of an increasing anxiety with my pets. Specifically, being separated from them. To briefly put this in perspective, I am recently widowed as of last August. My husband had been sick since 2019. I had no help, and he never took ownership of his own health. Needless to say, this was overwhelming for me.
Throughout ...Read more
Sister's Wedding Is Stealing Our Bonding Time
Dear Annie: My sister, "Laura," and I have always been close, but ever since she got engaged, there's been a bit of a distance. She's constantly busy with wedding planning, and when we do talk, all she wants to discuss is flowers, seating charts or her bachelorette party. I'm happy for her, but at a certain point it feels like she has ...Read more

Asking Eric: Writer’s envy prompts lashing out
Dear Eric: I have years of writing under my belt.
During a recent family visit, I spent a lot of time hearing about grown kids' accomplishments. I asked questions and was a good listener. At one point, my husband read a story he'd written, and the family praised his efforts to the moon.
Meanwhile, no one asked about my writing.
I suppose I ...Read more
Feeling Overlooked at Stepson's Wedding
Dear Annie: I recently attended my stepson's wedding. My husband and his ex-wife were announced as mother and father of the groom as they entered the wedding reception together.
His ex thought nothing of taking my husband's arm as they entered. Meanwhile, I'm sitting at our table by myself as this is happening. My husband and I have been ...Read more
Single File: A New Language
You don't have to be single to be shy, but it's more likely when your way of life pushes you to meet new people and make entrances ... solo. That's why it's so important to learn the language of SMALL TALK. (It merits capitals because it's not so easy to learn.) Truth is it's a totally new language for those of us who never inherited the gift of...Read more

Ask Anna: Dating in a world of bad news -- how to manage media overload for a clear mind and better love life
Dear Anna,
I’m a 29-year-old single woman, and lately, dating has become more stressful than exciting. Every day, I’m bombarded with news about global challenges — climate disasters, political unrest and economic uncertainties — which leaves me feeling anxious and overwhelmed. When I go on dates, I often find myself distracted and ...Read more

Is dating harder than it used to be?
Online dating has come a long, long way since its inception (I’m looking at you Match.com… which came out in the mid-90s!).
The online dating sites have evolved significantly (Tinder, the first major app that you only use on your phone, launched in 2012), offering new features designed with the hope of improving people’s experiences and ...Read more

Asking Eric: Domestic abuse survivor wants to keep son from dangerous patterns
Dear Eric: I stayed in an abusive marriage for too long, and for a wide variety of reasons, including that we needed my ex’s income and health insurance to cover chronic medical needs.
My now-adult son does not know the extent of the abuse in my marriage because I hid it. Regardless, he is three times more likely to become an abuser himself ...Read more
Playing It Safe vs. Living the Dream: Can You Have Both?
Dear Annie: My name is Jess, and I've always prided myself on being the "steady one." I have a good job as a marketing manager, a wonderful husband named "Fred," and a life that feels stable and predictable. On paper, everything looks perfect. But lately, I can't shake this persistent, nagging feeling that something is missing.
Growing up, my...Read more

Asking Eric: Older couple only invited when gift is expected
Dear Eric: My spouse and I are an older couple with some family members who live in the same town as us and some family who live out of state.
The families who live near us only invite us to functions where a gift is needed, such as weddings and birthdays, etc.
We feel very sad about this since we spend many holidays alone. May I add that my ...Read more
Supporting the Strong One
Dear Annie: I've always been the person who people turn to for support -- friends, family, even co-workers come to me when they need advice or a shoulder to lean on. And while I genuinely love helping others, I'm starting to realize I don't have anyone I can turn to when I need the same kind of support.
I'm not sure if it's because I've built...Read more

Asking Eric: Family won’t stop sending widow Valentine’s Day greetings
Dear Eric: Valentine’s Day is approaching and members of my family and friends send me “Happy Valentine’s Day” texts, knowing that I am a widow. They claim that Valentine’s is for everybody, not just couples.
I feel otherwise and this just rubs salt into my wounds. These wishes feel to me very thoughtless and insensitive. How do I ...Read more
When Is It Too Late to Heal a Marriage?
Dear Annie: My husband has always seemed "old for his age." For years, I managed the household while he worked full-time, but when he retired, I expected him to pitch in more with chores. That expectation has become our biggest source of conflict. He struggles to keep up with my energy, and I feel like he holds me back. I've grown bitter. I ...Read more
Millennial Life: Just Work Trip Stuff
I'm sitting in a hotel in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I feel the rumbling of a low-grade cold that soaked through my house this week, sparing me until now through intense efforts of arching away from uncovered coughs, cheek kissing the husband, and washing my hands like I'm going into surgery after I deposit a pile of snotty tissues in the trash.
I'm...Read more
Single File: Sexual Bill of Rights
Sexual/sensual expression is important to mental and physical well-being. Let's agree on that. And being unmarried, you also know how important it is for your satisfaction to feel a partner's caring. The truth is sexual union has the potential to be spiritual communion when it joins soul mates. But it takes a bit of doing for the unmarried to ...Read more

Redefining your 'type': Expanding your dating parameters can change everything
For years, I’ve worked with clients who come to me saying the same thing: “I just can’t find the right person.” When I dig a little deeper, a common theme appears — they’re clinging to a very specific idea of who their “type” is. (It often starts with a physical attribute, but it goes beyond that, too.)
And here’s the kicker:...Read more

Ask Anna: Making Valentine's Day work when one partner hates the holiday
Dear Anna,
My partner of three years absolutely despises Valentine's Day. He calls it a "commercialized scam" and refuses to participate in any way. I understand his perspective — yes, it's commercialized. All holidays are! And yes, we should show love year-round. But here's the thing: I genuinely enjoy having this day dedicated to ...Read more