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Single File: Undependence (Part 1)

Life Advice / Single File /

As regular readers know, that's no typo. "Undependence" is my word for wholeness, the ability to be comfortably alone with oneself -- not all the time and not as a way of life but definitely when the alternative is boring or disagreeable company. But this society feels uncomfortable when we're not paired off two by two, because it sees aloneness...Read more

Lacheev/Dreamstime/TNS

Lying about your age in your dating profile is never a good idea (seriously -- no exceptions)

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

You’ve probably been told at some point in your life that there’s nothing wrong with a little white lie. And in some cases, yes — it’s better to tell your sister-in-law that her new haircut looks great rather than start a family war by making a joke about her losing a bet with her stylist. (Not saying this from personal experience, ...Read more

Taking Responsibility for Sex Addiction

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: My own experience tells me that your advice to Starving Wife may have overlooked another possibility.

I lived for years with what Starving Wife is experiencing. My sexual relationship began with my husband when he was 42 and I was 45. Our sexual relationship was good until we married three years later. Alas, he "just wasn't ...Read more

Bridesmaid would love to be The Enforcer

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: My good college friend “Clara” is getting married next month.

Clara has several bridesmaids. We are all quite close.

“Sara,” another bridesmaid, has an older sister “Anne” and a younger brother, “Brett.”

In our college days, Clara, Sara, and I would socialize occasionally with Anne. We consider her a friend.

Brett ...Read more

Worried About How Lonely My Life Will Be

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: I am very confused. I have a friend who is 70 and is in the hospital. She has put a mutual friend, "Dorothy," down as her daughter. She has a son, but he is a man-child.

Our friend Dorothy has so many obligations as it is. Dorothy and I are close, and we are similar ages. I do not have siblings, since my brother passed away at a ...Read more

Ask Amy: Husband thinks his wife is too close to her kids

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: My husband and I have been married for 10 years. We both have adult children from previous marriages.

My husband isn’t as close with his children as I am with mine. My children and I have always spent a lot of time together and we connect through text or phone calls almost daily.

My husband believes this is excessive. He doesn’t ...Read more

Friend Yells at Me in My Own House

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: My longtime friend seems to be outspoken when I'm around her lately. I have a nervous habit of biting my nails, and when my friend is at my house, she yells at me to stop doing that, saying it's disgusting. It made me angry and hurt to be yelled at in my own house, but I only replied, "It's a nervous habit."

Aside from that, she ...Read more

Ask Amy: Job shopper asks for frequent references

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: “Liz” and I worked together for a short time nearly 20 years ago. She was excellent at her work and was an officer in a national organization in our field.

We have not seen one another in years. We’ve spoken on the phone one time in the last six years.

A decade ago, I spoke with an old colleague and recommended her to work at a...Read more

Millennial Life: It Was a Good Day

It was a good day at the university. At the start of the day, the masked pro-Palestine student protesters were on bent knees, chalking their requests for a ceasefire on the ground. A military Humvee was parked next to the entrance of the student center, as the Pentagon had come recruiting that day. The university police were already slowly ...Read more

Easter and Springtime Joy

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Readers: Wishing each of you a happy Easter and happy springtime. Below are some quotes for inspiration, hope and joy.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"'Twas Easter-Sunday. The full-blossomed trees filled all the air with fragrance and with joy."

William Shakespeare

"April hath put a spirit of youth in everything."

Marty Rubin

"The deep ...Read more

Ask Amy: Daughter resists driving Mom to church

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: I live four hours from my elderly widowed mother. I will be in her area for a week very soon doing some work, and I plan to take her for brunch on the Sunday that I am there. She does not drive. Making the arrangements, she managed to slide in, "I thought you might like to go to church with me." Meaning: "I want you to take me to ...Read more

Ask Amy: Daughter resists driving Mom to church

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: I live four hours from my elderly widowed mother. I will be in her area for a week very soon doing some work, and I plan to take her for brunch on the Sunday that I am there. She does not drive. Making the arrangements, she managed to slide in, "I thought you might like to go to church with me." Meaning: "I want you to take me to ...Read more

Baggage With Daughter Keeps Grandma From Her Grandsons

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: I have eight beautiful grandchildren. I have been blessed to help care for six of them from birth to 5-6 years old. My daughter has twin 7-year-old boys. She has issues with me that I've apologized for and have given her space to work through things. I've never met my twin grandsons. I've only seen them in pictures and several ...Read more

Ask Amy: Maid of honor rethinks the 'honor'

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: I am the “maid of honor” for my best friend’s wedding, which is happening this summer.

It’s a big job and I have done my very best to step up in all of the expected ways. Like other people who have faced this demanding role, it can strain a friendship – but my friendship with “Chloe” (the bride) has survived just fine.

...Read more

Mismatched Marriage Mindsets

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: I'm having an issue with my partner of six years, "Alex." I love him deeply, and he's a truly amazing guy. But we have different views on marriage.

I've always dreamed of having a traditional wedding and starting a family. I think weddings are a beautiful way to show your commitment to each other. Alex, on the other hand, is ...Read more

Ask Amy: Sharing in-law unit causes problems

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: We are having an issue with our daughter and son-in-law regarding the use of a guesthouse. They live a day’s drive from us, so when we visit we like to stay for several days. We try to visit at least monthly.

We decided to find a home that had a mother-in-law unit separate from the main house.

We helped (substantially) in the ...Read more

Clashing Values With My In-Laws

Life Advice / Dear Annie /

Dear Annie: My daughter is the only grandchild, and my mother gives her a gift every time we see her. I've told her several times that we don't want to overwhelm our child (3 years old) with material things, that she has too many toys she doesn't play with. It's very important to my husband and I that our child values what she has. My mother ...Read more

Ask Amy: Adults’ anger leads to children’s tears

Life Advice / Ask Amy /

Dear Amy: My two sons are not speaking to one another, after a fight that occurred during Christmas two years ago.

The result is that my granddaughters don’t like their uncle and aunt. The three girls are 11, 9, and 6.

While sleeping overnight at my house last weekend, I told my granddaughters that I love both of my sons equally. They ...Read more

Evgeny Skripnichenko/Dreamstime/TNS

Ask Anna: Understanding work crushes, keeping clothes on during sex and FWB gift etiquette

Life Advice / Dating Advice /

Dear Anna,

I (35-year-old man) struck up a friendly rapport with a lady (unsure of her age, but probably late 20s or early 30s) who works in my building. We find time to converse during breaks and even hung out at a few group events (trivia night, anyone?). On a whim, I invited her to grab coffee with me yesterday afternoon. She agreed, ...Read more

Single File: The Toss of a Coin

Life Advice / Single File /

Yes, singleness gives the power of being in charge of your life, but what about the sadness that we often feel? How do you explain it?

Being in total control of your life is the positive side of single life, but the flip side is there, too -- a sad, gnawing realization that you're on your own. Onlyness, I call it. But -- you suspected this was ...Read more