Life Advice
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Healing Is Required on Both Sides
Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 17 years and have five adopted children through foster care. We have gone through a lot of tough situations with the children during the last six years, which put a lot of pressure on our marriage, including financially. During that time, my husband lashed out at me frequently. He has said ...Read more
Ask Amy: Husband’s new friend becomes a menace
Dear Amy: My husband and I are in our mid-70s
“Steve” is 20 years younger. He befriended my husband and started stopping by our house, offering help with technical problems.
Steve would chat with me and then head to the "man cave" to watch sports on TV, etc. with my husband.
He seemed nice.
A couple of months ago, Steve grabbed my face ...Read more
Millennial Life: When the Mandate Is Simply 'Do Something'
The email didn't address me by name, so I looked at the header to see if I was the only one listed or if it was a mass email blast. It looked like it was just sent to me, demanding I "do something" about the homeless encampments at a park near my house. For a change, I knew what the steps would be in this case, and I happily tip-tapped on the ...Read more
Falling for Wife's Sister
Dear Annie: I'm retired, which is fine, but not having to go to a job only leaves me with more time to live with my problem. It's one that I've had for a very long time. My wife's sister came to live with us, and I got along with her very well, and when I wasn't working, we spent a lot of time together. We had a lot in common, which led to me ...Read more
Ask Amy: Grandmother crafts herself into a corner
Dear Amy: My son’s ex-wife, “Tammy,” recently had a baby with her new husband.
Tammy also has two children with my son.
I recently made slippers for my grandsons and sent the slippers to them.
I told my son about it, and now he’s asking me to make a pair of slippers for the new baby.
I don’t think I need to, as that baby is not my ...Read more
Good Friend Insists on Reciprocating Gifts
Dear Annie: I have a longtime friend who has serious trouble with gifts. It is very difficult to give her anything because she insists on "evening the score" by responding with a gift back to the giver. For instance, we comfortably exchanged token holiday gifts at my place, but my husband learned she liked a certain special candy we had on hand,...Read more
Ask Amy: Parents offer advice about emptying the nest
Dear Readers: A recent question from “Not So Empty Nest Mom” sought solutions on how to deal with her two adult daughters’ stuff, which was currently filling the family garage after the daughters had left home.
I asked readers to offer their own solutions, and this column is devoted to these suggestions.
Dear Amy: I have two sons. ...Read more
Balancing Boundaries and Support
Dear Annie: I have been dating my boyfriend for four years and am very lucky to call him mine. He loves me well, gets along with everyone he meets and is very giving. His mother, on the other hand, is a taker, financially and emotionally. She hates her job and where she lives but is not willing to make a change. She relies on her two sons ...Read more
Ask Amy: Partner wants to tag along on business trip
Dear Amy: I am an art historian, out of graduate school for about five years. I am now pursuing my Ph.D., also teaching, and am starting to get invited to do presentations and sit on panels at academic conferences.
My problem is that my boyfriend says he would like to come with me to my first conference to, as he says, “Cheer me on.”
I’m...Read more
Love, Loss and Longing
Dear Annie: I'll be married for 25 years this coming June, 30 years together. My husband is great, but he is not interested in sex anymore. He told me, "It's just not important to me."
I'm in my mid-40s and am desperate for intimacy and affection. But aside from that, I enjoy my family dynamics. I don't want to break that up for my own selfish ...Read more
Ask Amy: Friend won’t let bestie be ‘the other woman’
Dear Amy: I believe my best friend “Lara” may knowingly be the “other woman” in an affair. Lara has recently started seeing “Jonas,” an ex from her college days.
He contacted her about six months ago and it began as a friendly conversation from afar (they live in different states).
They've seen each other in person twice now – ...Read more
Single File: The Savior Complex
Love is not social work. Yes, I've said it before, but given more space and newsprint, let's really dig into the concept. All of us have at some point met someone who shakes our universe but comes with a lot of baggage. To be kind, let's call them issues. We brush aside friends' warnings -- and our own viscera -- to help this deserving person ...Read more
Why writing an accurate profile is better than creating an interesting one
As anyone who has tried it knows that online dating can have its fair share of challenges … and it all starts with writing your profile. And as someone who has read thousands of bios over the years, believe me when I say that many (very many) people are going about it incorrectly.
Sure, there are the common mistakes: lazy profiles that ...Read more
How to help a friend after a devastating breakup? Your first instinct is wrong
LOS ANGELES — It's hard to know what to do or say when a loved one is in the throes of a devastating breakup. No matter what you try — talking about it, not talking about it, vilifying the ex, coming up with fun distractions — they remain consumed with grief. Is there a right way to ease the pain?
There is, according to experts. Although ...Read more
Terrible Twos and Tough Talks
Dear Annie: I have a son who's going to be 3 in August. He's been going through the "Terrible Twos," and as you can imagine, it's been terrible. His thing right now is that he will throw a fit, and then when he's done, he will wrap his arms around me and say, "I love you, Mommy!"
Well, my husband's aunt has rolled around after her partner died ...Read more
Ask Amy: Corrupt cop’s legacy is kept a secret
Dear Amy: My father in-law is a retired law enforcement officer. Due to scientific advances since his retirement, it turns out that much of his career was a sham. DNA evidence has exonerated many of the people that he put behind bars – to such a large extent that a television network chose to air a story about him and his corrupt practices a ...Read more
Balancing Family Loyalties
Dear Annie: My daughter has a 13-year-old son by her first husband and a 14-month-old by her new husband. She and the new husband have been living together for over seven years.
She moved eight hours away with our grandson, then 6, and the boyfriend immediately moved there and moved in. He stated many, many times that he never wanted kids and ...Read more
Ask Amy: Wife seeks distance from husband’s crimes
Dear Amy: I was so sad and embarrassed to learn that my ex-husband was involved in corporate crimes during the time we were married.
One of two cases and the related court dockets and evidence reveal participation in a complex scheme that resulted in the plaintiff company being awarded a huge settlement.
I quietly left the marriage and took a ...Read more
Ask Anna: Crush or lust? How to decipher your feelings
Dear Anna,
Lately, I've found myself questioning the nature of my attraction toward a new acquaintance of mine. He's charming, always has an interesting story to share, and I can't deny the physical attraction. However, I really can’t tell if this is the beginning of a short-term crush developing, or if I just need to get laid? It’s been a ...Read more
Are My Hygiene Standards Really Too High?
Dear Annie: How can I get people who visit me to wash their hands after they use the bathroom? I have provided pump soap so they don't have to use a bar of soap. I have put in decorative paper towels so they don't have to use a cloth towel and a sign that says "Wash your hands."
What else can I do? What can I say to them that won't be insulting...Read more