There’s nothing like a first impression, and in the online dating world, that means your photo and your bio. Admittedly, the photos are the first thing that most people look at. But for the purposes of this article, let’s focus on the written part of a profile.

Talking about yourself is difficult. It’s a delicate process where you try to highlight the seemingly attractive parts of your personality and most interesting hobbies, with the goal of making you appealing to potential matches. The problem is that there is no fact-checking when it comes to dating sites and apps. You could falsely state that you’ve gone skydiving, snorkeled with sharks (who would do that?) and traveled to remote lands, and who is going to stop you?

But beyond the fibs and exaggerations, writing is a talent that not everyone has. The most interesting people in the world may not be the best at expressing their personality, interests and passions on their dating profile.

Since I browse dating websites and apps for a living, I’ve seen the best of the best and the worst of the worst when it comes to self-written bios. (Don’t even get me started on the one-word answers to questions or the complete lack of “message bait.” I call six words or fewer in a profile a “lazy profile,” and a lazy profile equals a lazy dater.)

But there are many times where someone paints a wonderful picture, working in humor as well as personality, only for you to click online, go on a date and find that there’s no spark. Even if you’ve exchanged great messages, with the conversation flowing and seemingly having a lot in common, you won’t really know if there’s potential for a relationship until you’ve met face-to-face.

Behind the profile there is a real person... and just because this person might not be a novelist you shouldn't necessarily swipe left or move on to the next person.

If you come across a profile that doesn’t give you a lot to work with, but something about the person is intriguing — maybe they live in the same neighborhood or mention a band you really enjoy — my advice would be to send a message and see what happens. Perhaps they’ll be engaging in a conversation (I think many would agree that it’s a lot easier to have a back-and-forth discussion rather than writing an essay about yourself) and eager to meet in person, where you can really get a feel for whether there is chemistry between you.

Plus, I would so much rather you connect with someone who isn’t “perfect” in their writing than someone who has clearly used ChatGPT or some other AI to write their profile. It has become much too prominent these days, and I’d rather see imperfection than fakery.

People are busy. People want to take an easy route. People have different talents, and sometimes writing isn’t one of them. A well-written bio can definitely be a good sign (again, barring getting too much “help”), because it means the person has put some effort into the starting-off point of their dating life. Talking about yourself is hard and not where a lot of lovely people will shine.

Effort wins over being the best writer. Instead of losing hope right away, put in the extra effort of making the first step … and you might be surprised at what you find.

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