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SoCal dads turn to braids and beer for solidarity and support

Andrew J. Campa, Los Angeles Times on

Published in Lifestyles

GOLETA, Calif. —For a few minutes, the atmosphere inside Captain Fatty's Brewery in Santa Barbara County was quiet, different from the usual Friday night clamor.

On this late May evening, the 15 men gathered there were contemplating tackling something few had previously had the courage or skill to take on. Austin Nieves, a recent transplant to the area and the man who had brought this brave group together, broke the strained silence by handing out beers.

Within minutes, the men, who ranged in age from 30 to 60, began chatting among themselves.

Then they started braiding hair.

The May 22 event — Goleta's version of the viral U.K.-inspired "Pints and Ponytails" night — was sold out. The idea is to have expert hairstylists train uninitiated or intimidated fathers on how to comb and braid their kids' hair, using salon-type head mannequins but in a setting for bros.

"When the first guys got there, they were stiff," said Nieves, a Pasadena native who moved to Santa Barbara in April 2025. "Then after that first beer, they went from sitting around the edge of the bar to jumping right into learning and giving it a shot."

The gathering was one of several father functions by the Santa Barbara Dads group, which Nieves founded last spring.

May's papa party offered, along with the suds, a learning experience and camaraderie among fathers, which Nieves believes is much needed.

"When my wife had our son, she immediately became part of at least five mom groups and classes that offered her help, advice, friendship and training," Nieves said. "As a first-time father, I really only had my brothers, who had children themselves, to turn to."

Scientific studies have shown that as fathers have taken a more active role in child rearing, they've faced loneliness, doubt and confusion.

Researchers Chris Knoester and David J. Eggebeen wrote in 2006 in the "Journal of Family Issues" that fatherhood leads "to declines in feelings of well-being and participation in social activities" as fathers spend less time with friends.

Clinical psychologists Hillary Halpern and Maureen Perry-Jenkins documented that the transition from single life to fatherhood is often accompanied by a roller coaster of emotions. And researchers from Stockholm's Karolinska Institute determined in a 2021 study that fathers might require help "during their transition to fatherhood."

One such way to assist men is specifically a fathers group, according to the 2021 study.

Most men "were mostly satisfied with participating in father groups and described that they positively impacted their relationship with their partner and child."

The increased contact also helped improve "their self-confidence and family equality and decreased their loneliness."

Nieves agreed that his leisure time and focus changed sharply after the birth of his child, Hudson, now 3 years old, as did his friend group updates.

"They were talking about all this crazy fun or TV shows and I was talking about my son being able to lift his head," Nieves said. "That's when I knew I had to branch out."

Nieves, then living in Costa Mesa with his wife, Katie, created the Orange County Dads club in October 2023.

His group of merry men held meetups at coffee shops, beer halls and the zoo, hosted holiday hootenannies and even offered CPR classes.

Its success helped spawn a chapter in the Whittier area.

Though strictly a fathers club, the group, Nieves said, has grown thanks to wives and partners sharing his social media posts with their husbands.

Mikhail Alfon, founder of Blue Light Media, a social media strategy agency, took his son, Santos, to multiple Orange County meetups.

 

"This is our first child and obviously life changes a lot," said Alfon in a social media post. "Finding peers and friends that are in the same stage of life is great."

That sense of community, however, faced a challenge as Nieves and his family purchased a home in Santa Barbara and moved in April 2025.

Within a month, however, he had established a Santa Barbara-based dads group. Their first meetup was in May 2025, and they've made a point to gather once a month.

Austin Jones, a Santa Barbara-based real estate agent and investor, found Nieves through Instagram.

"I'm a husband, a dad and businessman, and it ends up being a lot of hats but very little support, at times," Jones said. "It's nice to find people in the trenches with you."

Jones was intrigued by Pints and Ponytails as he's battled the hair-care needs of his 2 ½-year-old daughter, Noa, and her textured, curly locks.

In a short while, Jones had gained enough confidence in whipping his mannequin's hair into a ponytail that he vowed to try with his daughter soon.

"I was only pretty good at putting on a headband before this," he quipped.

The six mannequin heads and the hour of instruction came courtesy of Santa Barbara cosmetologist Chi Jou "Belle" Lin, who offers area mobile services.

"I saw the social media post and a lot of people reached out to me to teach the class," Lin said. "I had to help."

Lin said the mannequins she brought varied in hair length and type, from straight to coily, but also fine in texture, as she tried to replicate young children's hair.

She also taught the fathers basic hair-care techniques, including shampooing, detangling, checking for lice and how to tie ponytails and braids.

Even if they started out reticent, the fathers became active participants, asking questions about creating a neat French braid, what to do about tangled ponytails and how to deal with frightened children, Lin said.

"I was really impressed with the dads and their skills and the real-life questions," said the stylist, who has personal experience at home in her 2 ½-year-old daughter, Lotus. "Not all men have the courage to ask questions."

For Nieves, the secret in gaining new dads and retaining others is simplicity.

"If you open the door, the fathers will follow because everyone can use some help," Nieves said. "But they just need to know it exists and they're not alone."

Days after the Goleta get-together, Santa Barbara dad Eric Drachman became a celebrity at the preschool of his daughter, Noa, who is soon to be 3.

"When the videos of the event were posted, the teachers at the school recognized me," Drachman said. "They would ask my daughter, 'Who did your hair?'"

The query that means most, however, is when Noa asks her father to fix her hair.

"She asks occasionally," he said. "It's such a fun dynamic we have."


©2026 Los Angeles Times. Visit at latimes.com. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

 

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