Black and white, right and wrong, cut and dried. I know how tempting it is to look for a “rule” or a quick answer in dating. Leave or stay? Unmatch or meet? But most things in life are not answered so simply. This week, we have several dating questions looking for a back-and-white answer … and I’m here to show the shades of gray.

Question: Should I unmatch from people who pressure to meet the same day? I have a life ... don't they?

Answer: Pressure you or simply ask you? If someone pressures you to do anything before they know you, no, you should not meet them. But if someone simply asks if you're free that same day, you just have to say: "I'm not free to meet today, but I can do Thursday or Friday. Does either work for you?"

It doesn’t have to be so cut and dried, especially since so many people take too long to arrange a date. Take this as the win it is, but slightly redirect.

Q: Do you think it’s wrong to want a partner with the same education (e.g., both with masters/doctorate)?

A: I don't like absolutes. I won't tell you something is wrong or right. But do think it is shortsighted? Yes, I do.

There is a whole spectrum of intelligence (or ambition or whatever word you want to put in there). And the ability to afford grad school. If there's anything I have learned in life, it's that some of the smartest people can be in the places you least expect. And some people simply had more opportunity.

Q: Great second date, but he hasn't reached out since that night (2 days ago). Move on?

A: My goodness gracious! Why is everything so black and white? Why can't you reach out and just say you had a great time and can't wait to do it again?

Positive reinforcement goes a long way. And holding people to a rule that they don't know they are being held to is disappointing for everyone.

Sure, maybe this person is no longer interested in you. Maybe they are and they are wondering why you didn't reach out. Or maybe they are still smiling from your date and just had a busy rest of the weekend.

No more playing chicken. Just communicate.

Q: I’ve been single for one month, and I’m excited to fall in love again but I have a fear of falling too fast for the first guy. Any advice?

A: I'm glad you're excited about dating!

If you are prone to getting too attached too quickly, I highly recommend dating multiple people in the early stages. See who you like, see who you don't like, see how you feel with each person.

When you attach too quickly, you put this person on a pedestal that they have not earned.

And don't become exclusive until you have enough information that you know what a relationship with them would look like. I want you to build a solid foundation this time around.

Lastly, since you said you have only been single for a month, there is beauty in taking time for yourself. You don't need to date to fill an open space in your life. You can also fill that with friends, activities and revisiting who you are as a single person.

Q: He pulled away after two months of dating. We ended things then, but I want him back. Is this wrong? How to get him back?

A: I'm not sure what to say. I don't want to sound dismissive, but are you a glutton for punishment?

History repeats itself. If he pulled away after two months of dating, he will pull away again. Is that the kind of relationship you want to be in?

I do believe you miss him. And I'm sure there was a lot of good. But your rose-colored glasses are only remembering that part. Not how it made you feel when he pulled back presumably with no explanation.

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