Shark on the Hunt
Dear Annie: My husband has a friend, "Ralph," who is half his age and was recently married. Ralph's wife, "Katherine," is always texting my husband, and not me, to make plans to go out to eat. I have asked my husband several times to text Ralph back instead of his wife, but he has not. When we go out to eat, Ralph's wife always wants to sample my husband's food and taste his drink; she never samples mine. She never asks if she can taste test. She just does it. She also likes to sit beside my husband.
The other night, she stood at the bar talking to both of us with her arm on the back of my husband's chair and not mine. One time, I got back to the table just in time to hear her say that she wouldn't be getting any love from Ralph tonight. My husband replied that he wouldn't be getting any from me either. That's because my husband falls asleep as soon as he gets home. Her reply was that my husband should leave with her and I should leave with Ralph.
She once told me that she and a girlfriend had read that they could make $7,000 a month if they worked for a sugar daddy. She has been married 10 months and is already complaining about Ralph. I see no love between them when they are together. My husband feels that his relationship with her is more like a father/daughter relationship and does not see anything wrong with it. My husband tells me nothing would ever happen between them and it's all in my head. I think she is looking for a sugar daddy. What are your thoughts? -- Am I Right to Be Suspicious?
Dear Suspicious: Trust your instincts on this one. She sounds like a shark circling your marriage. Picking food off your husband's plate, texting him instead of you and placing her arm on the back of your husband's chair are all signs that she is going in for the kill. The question is how to put an end to this shark and not allow your marriage to be swallowed up by her.
Don't continue to be put in a situation where you are accusing and complaining about her while your husband rushes to her defense. Instead, trust your instincts and insist that the friendship ends. The alternative is that she continues to drive a wedge through your marriage, and that is not OK. You and your husband should be a unified front protecting your marriage from circling predators.
Dear Annie: I'll never forget my mother's comments about a co-worker who was over 50. There was talk for years about this person's flawless complexion but nobody bothered to ask about her "secret."
At my mother's retirement luncheon, my mother finally asked. The co-worker replied that it was Vaseline! Her family was poor and she had tried anything cheap. Later, when she had the money for more expensive skin care products, she tried them all but found that still Vaseline worked best. -- Glowing Complexion
Dear Glowing: Thank you for this great tip. I have also heard that Aquaphor has the same effect as Vaseline and is around the same price. Here's to beauty on a budget.
"How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" is out now! Annie Lane's second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to firstname.lastname@example.org.