The Flight Not Taken
Dear Annie: My mom and I have always been close. I'm 35 now, but we talk almost every day, even though she's in Virginia, where I grew up, and I moved to Washington state after college. We make an effort to see each other as much as possible, but of course, it's never enough.
Recently, a work trip brought her to San Francisco, but I didn't find out until she was already boarding the plane. San Francisco is a lot closer to me than Virginia is. I couldn't help but think that if the situation were reversed, I would have found a way to tack on a few days and see her. She didn't, though. She didn't even give me advance notice she was coming, which kind of feels intentional. My feelings are hurt. -- Overlooked
Dear Overlooked: A short trip doesn't leave much room for spontaneity -- extra flights, hotel nights and days off work add up fast. None of that says she loves you less.
Your hurt just tells you that you want more of her time than phone calls allow. Instead of stewing about this one trip, tell her directly. Maybe you can plan a visit for sometime in the fall. That's a better use of your disappointment than replaying what she didn't do.
Dear Annie: My boyfriend loves going out -- bars on Fridays, a nice dinner on Saturdays and at least one weekend trip every month or two. We've always split the bill right down the middle, no matter what we order or where we go. The trouble is, he makes quite a bit more than I do, and he's just a bigger spender by nature.
I'm trying to build up my savings, and lately I've started cringing at my credit card statement each month. At the same time, I love going out together. It's such a fun part of our relationship, and I don't want to lose that over money. -- Priced Out of Fun
Dear Priced Out: Set a monthly number for going out that actually fits your budget and tell him what it is. He may offer to cover more once he sees the gap between your monthly "fun" budgets. If he doesn't, you two can get just as close cooking dinner together or hosting friends at home as you can at a restaurant, for a fraction of the price.
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"Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness" is out now! Annie Lane's third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged -- because forgiveness isn't for them. It's for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.













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