Life Advice

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Waiting Room Worries

Annie Lane on

Dear Annie: The doctor I have been seeing for over 20 years has decided to discontinue her practice in the town I live in and move to another town. I can't get to that town, so I've asked friends to recommend their doctors. But I'm dreading having to set up an appointment with a completely unfamiliar doctor.

How do I get over the anxiety of seeing a new doctor, new office, new staff and now a new medical portal I have to learn to navigate? I'm just anxious about starting all over again. -- Anxious

Dear Anxious: Twenty years of trust doesn't transfer with your file, so the unease makes sense. But you'll get used to the new office and the new portal.

The real adjustment is the relationship, and that takes time. Don't expect the first visit to feel perfect; you're allowed to try another doctor if this one doesn't fit.

Dear Annie: I'm a single man in my 40s living in Gillette, Wyoming. While this energy -- and resource-rich -- region provides great career opportunities, it's created what I can only describe as a "dating desert."

In Gillette, the dating pool feels highly transactional. High income and wealth are consistently chosen over emotional stability and character, and I find this prioritization to be entirely intentional. Many people here seem to prioritize a lifestyle heavily propped up by financial success, leaving little room for genuine connection or appreciation of traditional values like loyalty and steadfastness.

Is it unreasonable to want a partner who values character over a paycheck, or am I just looking in the wrong places in a boomtown economy? -- Frustrated in Gillette

 

Dear Frustrated: It isn't unreasonable to want someone who values character over cash. Those qualities still matter to plenty of people.

Boomtowns can sometimes put careers and income front and center, but that doesn't mean everyone shares the same priorities. Be careful not to paint an entire town with the same brush. You'll find people who chase status and people who don't in any community. If you're convinced everyone around you is looking for something you're not, you may be writing off good matches before they have a chance to prove you wrong.

Keep looking, and widen your circle. Find people who share your interests. Volunteer, join groups or expand your search beyond your immediate area if you can. The right person won't be impressed by your bank account nearly as much as by the kind of man you are.

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"Out of Bounds: Estrangement, Boundaries and the Search for Forgiveness" is out now! Annie Lane's third anthology is for anyone who has lived with anger, estrangement or the deep ache of being wronged -- because forgiveness isn't for them. It's for you. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.


 

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