Stand Back, I Speak Prophecy
Last week, because, as my wife puts it, "You think you're funny," I referred to Rep. George Santos as Rep. George Santos (nee Horowitz.)
The joke was that Santos is a carnival of lies and once alluded to a Jewish heritage he doesn't have just to get some votes.
See, that's why giving the guy a Jewish "maiden name" was funny.
Turned out, I was speaking prophecy, which is a real Old Testament thing to do if you're me and you wear a lot of flannel shirts and drink beer out of the can.
Not long after that column was printed, rumors leaked north from Brazil that Santos had frolicked and gamboled as a drag queen, not once or twice, but a great many times.
I never took a gender studies course, but I can tell you that, unless you really like "The Rocky Horror Picture Show," a few years' worth of dragging it up is more than most guys have on their resume.
Yup. Santos may be what I call a "chiffon enthusiast." I use the term "chiffon enthusiast" because it's so much softer than "drag queen," a phrase that smells like the kind of seedy back street bar that advertised "female impersonators" when I was a young man.
So, the question is, how did an aging newspaper hack like myself know to crack jokes about Santos having a maiden name. "Maiden name," by the way, is what women of my mother's generation called the last name they had before they got married. The "maiden" part was taken on faith. The name change was visible and lifelong.
But back to possible chiffon enthusiast Santos
Back in the days when I worked for daily newspapers, I had a running joke with a crime reporter.
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