Thief-in-Chief, in Brief: Trump Keeps His Cash Register Ringing

Jeff Robbins on May 26, 2026

Established shortly after the Civil War, Memorial Day is a solemn day of remembrance for Americans to honor those who have sacrificed their lives defending American democracy. So it was exquisitely on-brand for a president who defrauded the U.S. military by fabricating "bone spurs" to evade military service, the only convicted felon we've had as president, to choose the run-up to Memorial Day to announce he'd figured out yet another way to line his pockets at taxpayers' expense, perhaps the sweetest sweetheart deal on record, and surely the most corrupt by any president in history.

For a crooked man, it's a thing of beauty. For the rest of us, not so much. Having sued the government that reports to him for the "damage" he supposedly sustained as a result of the public disclosure of the tax returns he promised to disclose publicly but then didn't, the dealmaker purportedly par excellence, announced quite the deal -- for him. And for his family. And for his company.

Here's how it works. President Donald Trump generously agreed to drop his bogus lawsuit against the executive branch that he controls. In return, he gets an agreement that the Internal Revenue Service will overlook, ignore and do nothing about any false tax return that Trump, his family or his company has filed, including any taxes Trump, his family or his company has failed to pay. The agreement, signed by Trump's Department of Justice, headed by his personal lawyer, whom he appointed as Acting Attorney General, "forever bars and precludes" the IRS from even examining any of the Trump tax returns, let alone doing anything about what may be on them or, more to the point, omitted from them.

Let's break this down -- it won't take but a minute.

You and I can be audited by the IRS to determine if we underpaid taxes, or committed tax evasion, or otherwise cheated. But under the deal Trump just reached with ... Trump, Trump can't be.

This is no mere theoretical sweetheart deal. According to a Congressional investigation, the self-professed billionaire paid a cool $750 in federal taxes in 2016 and 2017. In 2020 he paid ... zero. He's been under a longstanding audit for dubious tax reporting, an audit that could have resulted in an order that he pay as much as $100 million.

Not anymore.

But as they used to say on "Let's Make A Deal," that's not all.

Because the Trump White House also announced that it has established a special fund of $1.8 billion of taxpayers' dollars, to be doled out by Trump, or Trump's appointee, or Trump's appointee's appointees to anyone claiming he was "wronged" by prosecutions during the Biden years for conduct in attempting to overthrow the 2020 election, including conduct to which they plead guilty or were convicted. That includes the 1600 Trump supporters who stormed the Capitol and attacked the police on Jan. 6, 2021.

But guess who is also eligible for payment from the fund that Trump created with your dollars?

Trump. He claims that he was wronged when he was indicted by two federal grand juries for defrauding the United States, violating the Espionage Act and obstructing justice.

To recap: Trump is absolved of any liability for false or even fraudulent tax returns he has filed. And if this fund -- which he calls the "anti-weaponization fund," which must have George Orwell up and doing the Macarena in heaven -- is permitted to stand, he is positioned to help himself to millions, perhaps tens of millions, perhaps hundreds of millions of your money as "compensation" to him for being indicted for multiple crimes.

This is on top of the hundreds of millions of dollars poured into Trump's bank account by favor-seekers -- or disfavor-avoiders -- during Trump's second term thus far. These include the cryptocurrency investors willing to burn money to pay tribute, the media moguls scrambling to settle meritless lawsuits to get regulatory approvals, the grovelers buying up worthless Trump coins to get on his good side, and the Middle Eastern plutocrats seeking to shape American foreign policy.

It's a stick-up, all right. And there's a guy in the Oval Office laughing at us.

Jeff Robbins' latest book, "Notes From the Brink: A Collection of Columns about Policy at Home and Abroad," is available now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple Books and Google Play. Robbins, a former assistant United States attorney and United States delegate to the United Nations Human Rights Council in Geneva, was chief counsel for the minority of the United States Senate Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations. An attorney specializing in the First Amendment and a longtime columnist, he writes on politics, national security, human rights and the Middle East.