Woman's Happy Marriage Makes Friends Jealous
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have an amazing husband who genuinely makes our marriage feel like a partnership. Not only does he pay all the bills -- even though I have a job and make a pretty good living -- he also helps cook, clean and take care of the kids. He does all of this and never complains about any of the support he gives his family. My husband being this wonderful has led to many other women in my life being jealous and unsatisfied with their husbands. Whenever we get together with friends, the women often comment on how lucky I am and make jokes about how their husbands could never compare. At first, I took these comments as compliments, but lately, some of them have started making passive-aggressive remarks about my marriage. One friend even suggested that my husband is only so helpful because he must be trying to make up for something.
I don't want to hide how happy I am just to make other people feel better about their relationships, but I also don't want my marriage to become a source of tension among my friends. Should I start being more discreet about the ways my husband supports me, or should I be able to celebrate my marriage without feeling guilty? How do I handle the jealousy without damaging my friendships? -- Say Less
DEAR SAY LESS: What you need to do is read the room. Clearly, your friends are jealous and do not know how to process the difference between your marriage and theirs. Stop talking about your marriage all the time. Deflect the conversation to another topic. People typically love to talk about themselves, so switch to asking them questions about their lives. This is how you can protect your marriage and your friendships.
DEAR HARRIETTE: Regarding "No Holds Barred," who wrote "I feel entitled to certain parts of my friends' personal lives": Wow. No. Friends get to share what they want of their personal lives when they want. You are entitled to ask for more from a friendship or leave a relationship when the terms don't align with your needs or desires. But your friends also have agency to share what they are comfortable sharing when they are ready.
I can't help but wonder whether NHB's friend, who is downplaying a new relationship, is withholding because of NHB's entitled behavior. NHB reminds me of someone I know who treats information as currency in her relationships; I share almost nothing with that person because I know I cannot trust her with private information. She'll either share it with others (gossip) or weigh in on my choices without invitation (judgment).
NHB needs to build trust by proving she's a good friend, not by measuring the relationship by how much her friends are willing to disclose. -- Enough
DEAR ENOUGH: Friends! We love them and often find it challenging to define boundaries around what we want to share -- or not. These relationships are precious, and we all want to have confidants with whom we share our lives. But there's no question that the relationship can sometimes be a delicate dance. Occasionally, the dance has to end, as you point out, especially when trust is broken.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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