DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a valued employee who has worked with me for several years. She is hitting her stride, doing very well for my small company. I fear that she is about to leave. I gave her a raise this year, which I thought was an incentive and proof that I value her, but I don't know if it's enough. I cannot give her another raise yet. My ...Read more
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I invited a new co-worker and his wife over for dinner and didn't ask them to bring anything.
I was a little surprised when they brought their own pre-dinner drinks -- two bottles of an imported craft beer for him, plus two cans of tonic and a water bottle containing 4 ounces of artisan gin for her.
She even brought her own ...Read more
Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for eight years and share two beautiful children. About four years ago, I found him gambling, using substances and going places behind my back while he was supposed to be at work.
We have been in therapy since early 2020, both individually and as a couple. Since that time, he has repeatedly made ...Read more
Dear Amy: I'm writing in reference to my recent engagement,
I was alone for a long time and met a woman at work and fell deeply in love with her. Two nights a week, she comes to my place for dinner, and we are intimate. Then she leaves at 10 p.m.
Two months ago, I asked her to marry me and she said yes!
But our situation is very unusual.
DEAR ABBY: My sister likes a childhood friend of ours and is hiding the fact that they are together, even though everyone in the family already knows they are living together. She clearly doesn't want me to know, and always finds a way to not be truthful with me.
This guy and I were friends, but whatever my sister said to him made him cut our ...Read more
DEAR HARRIETTE: There is a new girl at work, and although I have been nothing but friendly and helpful to her, she has this annoying habit of talking to me as if I'm the newbie in the office. Sometimes she even goes to the extent of explaining things that I already know like the back of my hand. I'm very good at my job, and I've been promoted ...Read more
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work at a convenience store near my home. I see the store's regulars every day, and of course we become friendly. Some I like more than others.
Occasionally, a customer will ask me for my phone number, claiming we should get together. This request comes from both male and female customers, some interested in friendship and ...Read more
Dear Annie: A month ago, I received some troubling news from my doctor. She said I have a rare bone marrow disorder and have five years at the most to live. What was troubling was that my wife of 35 years started to withdraw from me as if she is already readying herself for a life without me. I tried to tell her how I feel, but she turns it ...Read more
Dear Amy: I was the disciplinarian while my children grew up.
I freely admit that I crossed the line multiple times in disciplining my son, but I have apologized many times.
I try to help each of my children, especially in terms of financial assistance.
My son is now 51 and lost his father (my husband) two years ago to COVID.
Then his wife ...Read more
DEAR ABBY: I've been married for 34 years. During most of them, I was unfaithful. I never felt like I was truly married because my husband never gave me the time of day, but I liked my marital status because, I guess, we were companions. As soon as my kids married and the nest was empty, I left. I didn't feel I needed to stay and be unhappy, so ...Read more
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have always been an outsider, and not by choice. It just seems to happen. I started a job this year where I thought it might be different. We all go into the office, and on many occasions a group of people my age go out after work for drinks or whatever they do. They have never invited me. I'm kind of shy, so I haven't gotten ...Read more
DEAR MISS MANNERS: At an event where almost everyone is seated, am I rude for asking someone standing in front of me to sit down? Or is that person more rude?
I realize that there are several scenarios where it's tough cookies for me if I decide to sit, such as a stadium rock concert or a pep rally. That, I get.
What I don't get is people who ...Read more
Dear Annie: I have a complicated relationship with my siblings. I'm the youngest of four. Now, in my late 40s, I don't speak to any of my siblings or their kids. It's like I'm an only child and they don't exist. My dad has passed, and I'm close to my mother, and there's always been jealousy due to that. Jealousy growing up, jealousy with my ...Read more
Dear Amy: Twenty years ago, I had an affair that ended my eight-year marriage (after 15 years together).
I am extremely remorseful and even though I have apologized to my ex (and he has forgiven me), I can’t seem to forgive myself.
The phrase “once a cheater always a cheater” just plays on an endless loop in my head.
I hate myself for ...Read more
DEAR ABBY: I'm a recovering alcoholic who has been sober for more than 12 years. My road to sobriety has been long and dark, but I am proud of turning my life around and staying sober. My problem is how my mother treats me about it. She keeps reminding me of all the mistakes I made and the people I hurt when I was still drinking.
I also ...Read more
DEAR SUSAN: Happy 58th birthday to me. I just read your column, and thought it was very nice to be asked for my opinion about SOMETHING.
I've learned that as a mother of grown children, with grandchildren of my own, it's the best technique to keep my opinions to myself -- and smile. Sometimes it's difficult, but it's often necessary.
I had a ...Read more
The primary aspect of my job as an online dating coach is scrolling through online dating profiles all day long, selecting potential matches for my clients.
You might call it an occupational hazard, but after reading one too many profiles — often from men — that discuss sex in some form or refer to parts of their anatomy, which I'd rather ...Read more
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been having a great time this summer hanging out with friends, and I'm sad that it is coming to an end. My favorite time of the year is summer, and I start to dread the cold weather the moment this season ends. It's weird. My attitude changes almost instantly, and I get moody. I want to figure out how to keep my spirits up...Read more
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a woman who works in a male-dominated industry, where I have earned a leadership role. I regularly attend industry events where spouses are included, and I love meeting my co-workers' spouses.
However, I am frequently asked who in the room I am married to, or whether I am married to my (male) boss. Sometimes other people...Read more
Dear Annie: I am married to a man who has an identical twin brother. Our marriage is in trouble because my husband favors his twin over me.
His brother thinks my husband should always help him out when he has a failed relationship -- and that's happened a lot. His twin also has had trouble holding down a job.
My husband and I have helped his...Read more
Inside Life Advice
- Erika Ettin: Tinder is launching a $500-per-month subscription service. What does it get you? (Hint: No guarantees)
- How a decade of dating apps has changed our dating lexicon
- Dirty talk can be fun … but not in your profile
- They found love in their accounting classroom. Ten years later, they got married there
- Erika Ettin: What's honesty vs. oversharing