Life Advice
/Health
/ArcaMax
Single File: Tips of Gold
Get closer to your parents. Like most corny advice, this one's pure gold. These people who sired you and raised you into adulthood are special in your life, unique and irreplaceable, too often ignored in the rush to adulthood. Take them to dinner, one at a time, and let them get to know their offspring as an adult, and a loving one at that. It ...Read more
Situationships… How and why?
Ah, the situationship—the modern-day romantic limbo that leaves many of us scratching our heads, wondering, “What are we?” If you’ve ever found yourself in this ambiguous gray area, you’re not alone. Situationships have become increasingly common in today’s dating world (were they always, and now there’s just a name for it?), where...Read more
Asking Eric: Wife says husband’s affection is creepy
Dear Eric: I am a 64-year-old man, married for 42 years. I am married to the smartest, kindest, most decent person I have ever known. I tell her that all the time. I am also still wildly attracted to her. She finds that creepy which makes me feel awful. She feels my physical attraction to her is demeaning. Is it creepy for me to still feel so ...Read more
Event Attendee Weighs Safety Concerns Of New City
DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been invited to a high-profile event by an old friend I haven't seen in years. It's a fantastic opportunity, but there's a bit of a catch: The event is in a city I'm uncomfortable traveling to alone due to safety concerns. I'm in my early 40s now and find that I'm more cautious about such things than I used to be.
While I'm...Read more
Bride Should Err On The Side Of Inclusion
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am marrying a lovely man after three years of dating. He has one sister and one brother. I have two sisters. All of our siblings will be in our wedding party.
However, one person is being left out: My fiance's brother, Max, has a long-term girlfriend named Jenna. The two have been dating since high school and are coming up ...Read more
Two Isn't Always Better Than One
Dear Annie: I am a 70-year-old retired man with no children. My wife died in 2016, and we had a very happy relationship together for more than 28 years.
About three months after she died, I met a wonderful lady, "Sarah," who took my heart away. However, she had very strong religious convictions that I simply did not share. For a long time, she ...Read more
Family Members Don't Support Transgender Relative
DEAR ABBY: My young adult child came out to us as transgender several months ago. My husband and I, along with her sibling, are supportive and love her unconditionally.
She recently decided to share the news with her grandparents, sending a heartfelt email along with a couple of resources specifically for grandparents. One grandparent has been ...Read more
My best friend is 30 years my senior. Here's what she's taught me about life
LOS ANGELES -- She was 63.
I was 33.
We shared cocktails at a rooftop bar overlooking Sunset Boulevard during golden hour. And the connection was palpable.
No, this isn't the start to an "L.A. Affairs" romance column. But it is about a love affair of sorts. My best girlfriend of the last two decades is 30 years older than me.
I met Loraine ...Read more
How do you make friends outside your generation? These people share how they did it
LOS ANGELES -- On a bench near the Santa Monica Farmer's Market in July, Peggy Cheng recalled the time a television writer pitched her a wacky sitcom centered around the unlikely scenario of a young woman who had befriended her elderly neighbors.
Cheng, who was working in TV development at the time, wasn't impressed.
"She thought it was so ...Read more
Asking Eric: Once-distant father now demands child’s help
Dear Eric: I had a very close relationship with my father, until he remarried in my mid-20’s. When he remarried, he told my brother and me that we would be excluded from his trust. He stated that he had raised us and was done with any financial support.
Since then, we have had a superficial relationship at times, and a conflicted one at ...Read more
Best Friend Withdraws After Job Offer News
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently received an incredible job offer from one of the top companies to work for in the United States. This opportunity is a huge milestone in my career; it's something I've worked really hard for over the years. I was thrilled when I got the news and couldn't wait to share it with the people closest to me. However, when I ...Read more
Should Vegan Relatives Serve Guests Meat?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have vegan relatives, and when we go to their home, they prepare only vegan foods. If it is a three-day visit, we eat the same boring foods for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
When they come to my home, I always provide vegan dishes. Shouldn't they provide non-vegan dishes for me, too? Or do I have to bring my own?
GENTLE ...Read more
The Problem Is You
Dear Annie: My husband and I are trying to figure out how to emotionally support our adult daughter, who is 40 years old. She is going through a very emotional period in her life.
She has been married for about a year, has "major issues" with her spouse and is not certain she can "stay in the relationship." But from our conversations with her ...Read more
Co-Workers' Fight Jolts Multiple Relationships
DEAR ABBY: I've been seeing a man, "Barry," who worked with my younger brother. They had an altercation at work, and Barry was terminated for misconduct. My brother, "Rob," is upset with me because I still see him. Barry did reach out to Rob to apologize and see if they could move on. While my brother has forgiven Barry, he has chosen to have no...Read more
Asking Eric: Girlfriend not invited to family funeral
Dear Eric: I'm involved with a man whose sister recently died. I rented a car, bought his kids clothes for the funeral and made sure everything was in order. The funeral was out of town. I wanted to be there for support, but he didn't invite me. I took off of work and he left with his kids.
When I told him how I felt about not being invited, he...Read more
Frustrated Sister Questions Brother's Girlfriend's Behavior
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm feeling frustrated with my brother's girlfriend, and I could use your perspective. "Sally" often stays over at our house, especially on days when she doesn't have classes, as she's about to graduate college. Meanwhile, my brother "Bill" is already working, and he covers all of the household expenses since our parents are ...Read more
To Spoon Or Not To Spoon?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My spouse and I frequently host meals for 10 to 20 guests, both personally and professionally. We have a debate over whether to put out spoons for meals when we are not serving soup.
My spouse contends that spoons may be used for things other than soup (e.g. spreads, or the last bits of thin sauces). I prefer not to set out ...Read more
Remember the Good Times
Dear Annie: I have had many odd symptoms over the years that got worse, and it has taken much research to finally get help. I have deficiencies in vitamins D and B12 that require more than a multivitamin. Doctors don't learn nutrition in medical school and are unaware of what deficiencies look like. Vitamins aren't part of routine bloodwork. ...Read more
Wife Is Now Fearful About Being Pregnant
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for two years, together for five. He's a wonderful man I love dearly. I always felt called to be a mother, and he has expressed the same about being a father. He would be an incredible father, and I'd love nothing more than to raise children with him.
The conflict is that, over the past year or so, ...Read more
Millennial Life: From Stranger to Councilor
Therapist waiting rooms are inherently awkward. We're all working through something. I'll sit and chat in a doctor's office, especially with the older generations who aren't as glued to their phones. At the therapist, I've picked sliding into a seat and being riveted to my small screen.
This week, though, I sat, hunched over, and caught a: "...Read more