Life Advice
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New Mother Refuses To Let Her Grandma Hold The Baby
DEAR ABBY: My oldest daughter, "Kate," is 22. Her baby is now 6 months old. She is the first grandchild and great-grandchild. Kate refuses to allow my mom to hold her baby. My mom has held the baby a couple of times, but my daughter immediately swooped in and took the baby from her. During the last family gathering, Kate wouldn't let me hold the...Read more
Ask Anna: Navigating casual dating when she wants more
Dear Anna,
I'm a guy in my late 20s, and I'm not on the lookout for a lasting relationship at the moment. I'm enjoying the freedom, exploring my options and focusing on personal growth. Recently, I've started seeing this fantastic woman. She's got all the great qualities you’d look for, but here's the rub: She's interested in something ...Read more
Woman's Negativity Drains Friend
DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm seeking guidance on how to handle a challenging situation with a close friend. Lately, I've noticed that my friend has become consistently negative and draining to be around. It feels like every conversation turns into a litany of complaints or pessimistic outlooks on life. I understand that right now the world is unforgiving...Read more
Regifting An Obvious Regift
DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend gave me a gift that had obviously been recycled, possibly more than once. When I opened it, a card fell out -- dated 1995.
The item itself was in good shape, unused, but the box was showing a little wear. Internet research revealed that this item has not been manufactured in at least 10 years.
Naturally, I thanked ...Read more
Resolving Inheritance Disputes
Dear Annie: I read a letter in your column about inheritance issues, and I wanted to share my own story.
My mother transferred a $930,000 house near the ocean to my single brother a few years ago in secret. We found out when trying to look at money for a care home for my father.
Her argument was that he has no family or children like my ...Read more
Ask Amy: Friend wonders about racist pals
Dear Amy: I have two friends I’ve been extremely close to over the past 10-15 years.
These two friends don’t know each other, but they each have been an important part of my life – but are not my only close friends.
Based on comments made over the years, I’ve suspected that these two people were racists, but only recently have they ...Read more
Spouse Endures Second Loss After Wife's Passing
DEAR ABBY: I am trying to come to terms with the passing of my wife, "Charlotte," a month ago. Many old friends and family have been supportive. What hurts, in addition to my grief, is the silence from a particular couple.
For years, we were very close with this family when we both had young boys growing up. We celebrated all the joys and life-...Read more
Single File: Undependence (Part 2)
Love -- the real deal -- can exist only between lovers who are whole and distinct individuals capable of standing alone, apart from their beloved. My word for that state is undependence. Learning to be alone, then, is cultivating that ability in preparation for love partnership; there is no other way to start the process of creating personhood. ...Read more
Yes, no or even maybe: How to react to a second date invitation
Anyone on the dating scene knows that it can feel like an accomplishment just to get to the first date. You’ve both swiped right (or whatever the equivalent is on the app you’re using), chatted a bit, planned a meeting and now you’re grabbing cocktails or coffee—success! With a second date on the horizon, things can go in quite a few ...Read more
Partner's Lack Of Ambition Threatens Relationship
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have deep feelings for my partner of five years, but since I gained more financial stability, I've noticed a shift in his behavior. He seems to have become complacent, no longer making efforts to contribute financially or surprise me as he did in the past. I find myself shouldering the responsibility for our bills and taking ...Read more
The Neighborhood Of The Traveling Painting
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a neighbor, "Mr. Griffin," who is an artist. He gave one of his paintings to his next-door neighbor. Several months later, Mr. Griffin presented me with one of his paintings, which I hung in my family room.
The lady next door to Mr. Griffin stopped to visit me one day and saw the painting on my wall. Imagine my shock ...Read more
Warning Signs of Undiagnosed Dementia
Dear Annie: I'm writing in response to the letter from "Brokenhearted Grandma," whose husband grew angry and controlling over time. Reading about what has happened in her family brought back memories of what happened in my own family. After 20 years of marriage, my husband also became angry, self-centered, self-destructive and uncaring about ...Read more
Ask Amy: An update reveals no ‘deviants’ in the house
Dear Readers: I value hearing back from people who have had their questions published in this space. Like you, I am curious about how people dealt with their dilemmas, and I wonder whether my advice was useful.
I’m happy to publish this “update” from a reader whose original question was published in June 2012.
The original Q&A is below, ...Read more
Quarter-Century Marriage Is An Intimacy-Free Zone
DEAR ABBY: I'm in a sexless 25-year marriage. It was not always this way, but any intimacy has been over for more than a decade. My wife's libido has waned, which I understand. What she does do is continually bring up issues about me from years ago as if they were yesterday.
I have my faults, like lack of communication and shutting down, which ...Read more
Friend Considers Dropping Negative Woman
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have regarded an individual as a close friend since our elementary school days. However, it has come to my attention that her negative demeanor has led to others disliking her. Despite my unwavering defense of her in the past, I now find myself pondering the appropriateness of maintaining this friendship. After all these years,...Read more
One Belated 'thank-You' To Rule Them All
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm a terrible procrastinator. I have procrastinated sending thank-you letters for multiple years for multiple events (our wedding, my baby shower, our child's birthday parties). The worst offense is our wedding, five years ago.
Is it ever too late to send a thank-you letter? Could I send a single thank-you now, for the gifts...Read more
Chores Help Kids in the Long Run
Dear Annie: I'm 74 years of age, and I rent a room from a lady who has a 15-year-old son. I pay $600 a month for rent. I pay her $350 in cash, and I work off the other $250 by cleaning and cooking. I vacuum and make her bed and clean the restrooms. I wash dishes and clean the kitchen. When I cook food, I always wash the dishes and put them ...Read more
Ask Amy: Mother frets about daughter’s alcoholism
Dear Amy: I have a 49-year-old daughter who is an elementary school teacher. She became an alcoholic during Covid. She has a master’s degree, a beautiful home, and a partner of nine years.
She will lose it all, due to her drinking.
She won't go to AA, and I have suggested inpatient rehab – to no avail.
It is breaking my heart.
Her father...Read more
Workplace Tension Builds After Dustup With Manager
DEAR ABBY: I'm a soft-spoken person. I work in a medical laboratory, and I am finally speaking up for what I believe in (after years of social anxiety and depression). At the last meeting, when asked by the manager for suggestions to improve the lab workflow, I spoke up.
Fast-forward to tonight. When I expressed some excitement about my idea, ...Read more
Recent Grad Looks For Advice On Interviewing
DEAR HARRIETTE: As a recent graduate student, the prospect of applying for jobs fills me with a great deal of anxiety, especially because of my struggles with stage fright and a tendency to stutter when faced with questions. These challenges have left me feeling uncertain about how to navigate the job application process effectively and improve ...Read more