Life Advice

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Health

Family Ties and Tough Love

Annie Lane on

Dear Annie: My sister is eight years younger than I am. She was homeless, so my older sister took her and her grown son to live with them. "Laura" works at a plant-related business and makes minimum wage. Her grown son is an alcoholic and does not work anywhere. He forces Laura to buy him cigarettes and alcohol. When he is not drinking, he is a very hard-working and reliable person. As soon as he gets money from his mother, he buys alcohol and the cycle continues.

Laura is in poor health. She has urinary incontinence and refuses to wear personal protection for urinary incontinence. She urinates in red Solo cups and sets the cups filled with urine around the bedroom. The reason she urinates so much is because she is addicted to iced tea. She drinks about a gallon of sweet tea per day.

She has ruined my older sister's bedroom mattress and also a downstairs couch. She just covers the couch with another cushion in hopes my older sister will not notice the wet area.

They have two dogs, some laying hens and three female geese. One of the dogs is very old and has teeth that are rotten and falling out. The dog smells dreadful. The other dog is in a crate in the garage about 23 hours a day.

The chickens are in a wire pen, and Laura does not even feed or water the chickens or collect the eggs. The three geese were started in a crate, until they outgrew the crate and were put into an outdoor portable chicken coop on wheels, which is moved every few days.

The problem is that my younger sister has been told to leave dozens of times, unless she pays rent and cleans up after herself, her son and her pets.

My younger sister is a very serious hoarder and will not get rid of anything. This is more than my older sister can take. How can my older sister evict my non-paying younger sister and her alcoholic son? -- Very Serious

 

Dear Serious: You are correct to see this as serious. There are many issues going on at once. Your sister has to evict her younger sister. You can't have someone urinating all over the house. It is a violation of all health standards and will damage the value of your sister's property. She needs to seek the help of an attorney if your younger sister will not clean up her act.

Animal care and control, or a local rescue group, should be called. You can't keep a dog locked up in a cage all day long. That is a very cruel form animal abuse, and she should have her dogs surrendered.

Her son obviously has a serious alcohol problem, and his mother is enabling him. She needs to stop giving him money and encourage him to stop drinking and attend Alcoholics Anonymous. His mother should attend Al Anon to help herself as well. In addition, talk to your sister about getting professional help with a therapist. She is clearly hurting inside, and as a result, she is hurting innocent animals, her son and her sister.

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"How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?" is out now! Annie Lane's second anthology -- featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.


 

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