Life Advice
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Family Troubles Leaving Me at a Loss
Dear Annie: It has recently come to my attention that my middle adult son has molested my adult daughter when she was 8 years old. She broke down and told me tearfully last week.
She is now 23, and he is 31. And I am completely at a loss of how I should feel, think, react. I'm basically an emotional wreck. He is married with four children (...Read more
Ask Amy: A loving mom wonders why her son is SO single
Dear Amy: Our 30-year-old son, “Thomas,” has a great job, is well-adjusted, and has many friends.
Thomas is outgoing and goes out with groups of friends, some of whom are married.
He is not dating anyone and hasn't “dated” (that we know of) since high school (i.e. going to proms, dances, etc.).
Thomas and I have a close relationship ...Read more
Ex Fails To Show At Family Funeral
DEAR ABBY: My mom passed away recently, and the person I was in a relationship with from adolescence to my adulthood, "Charles," didn't attend her funeral. While I'm currently in a relationship with someone else I deeply love, I still feel my mother was fond of Charles despite our many hardships. Her affection for him showed without a doubt, ...Read more
Single File: Dates From Hell
DEAR SUSAN: Want to know what hell is? Hell is when your blind date shows up and your mother can barely croak your name when she calls you, as she's almost doubled up with laughter. Picture a man who is 7 feet tall and wearing a raincoat loosely belted -- under his armpits! Tall is OK, I guess, but a head the size of a walnut was a real shocker....Read more
Navigating political conversations in dating in an election year
We've all heard the advice, probably from our friends… or, more likely, grandparents: avoid controversial topics on a first date. While steering clear of discussing exes and past relationships is relatively straightforward (seriously, no ex-talk on a first date!), dodging politics feels nearly impossible, especially with the next presidential ...Read more
Mom Worries That Son Is Too Dependent
DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is often referred to as a "mama's boy" because of his affectionate gestures toward me, such as kissing my cheeks before school, seeking my opinion on his clothes and requesting I support him during his basketball games. While I appreciate his closeness and love, I sometimes wonder if his attachment to me might hinder his ...Read more
No Perfect Way To Share Laundry Facilities
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My apartment building shares a communal laundry and storage area with the building next to it. The laundry area has three washers and three dryers that you have to pay to use.
I've noticed that there are people who will use all three machines simultaneously. To me, this feels incredibly rude to the rest of the residents in ...Read more
Healing From the Heartache of Abusive Adoptive Parents
Dear Annie: I come from a long history of family dysfunction. Child abuse, toxicity and abandonment are all I ever knew growing up. I developed severe complex PTSD and borderline personality disorder coming into my preteen years. I remember the blame was solely on me for my severe depression, suicide attempts and deep-seated suffering from my ...Read more
Ask Amy: DNA discovery leads to awkward reality
Dear Amy: I recently completed genetic testing and learned that my brother and I are half-siblings.
We have the same mother, but we do not have the same father.
Fortunately, my mother (who is in her late 80s) is still living, so I asked her about our fathers.
She said that my dad was sterile, so she and my dad used IVF to have my brother and ...Read more
Lessons From The Past Still Ring True Today
DEAR ABBY: Years ago, I sat over lunch, reading your mom's "Definition of Maturity." It was shortly after my dad died, and reading it made me realize how lucky I had been. Those were all lessons I learned at home from my parents.
Perhaps this item is in your booklet. But could you print it in your column again for other readers to see? It's an ...Read more
Partner Wants To Bring Up Idea Of Adoption To Wife
DEAR HARRIETTE: Adoption seems to be the only option for my seven-year marriage to work. My wife is unable to bear children due to polycystic ovary syndrome, and this has put a strain on our hopes of starting a family. We have explored various options, but adoption appears to be the most viable solution for us to fulfill our desire to become ...Read more
'i'm Sorry' Doesn't Always Mean 'it's My Fault'
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Could you suggest alternative replies to "I'm sorry" when one hears bad or unsettling news from family or friends?
When one hears "I lost my job," "My husband has cancer" or other bad news, a common response is "I'm sorry" to show our empathy. Yet, "I'm sorry" is a sort of apology, accepting one's responsibility for an ...Read more
Making Peace With Family Estrangement
Dear Annie: Sixteen years ago, I separated from my wife, as we were headed toward a divorce. Her father, "Bob," just lost it; he was so angry over the divorce. He swore to me that he would do everything he could and spend his last dime to take my sons away from me. He did his best to ruin my career, to no avail. However, through paying for ...Read more
Ask Amy: A demanding gram wants to lay down the law
Dear Amy: When our son visits us with his teenage daughter, she totally trashes her room during her stay.
As the grandmother and host, can I demand that she keep her room in some semblance of order?
– Demanding Gram
Dear Gram: It’s your home, and you can issue demands with abandon.
But your son should work with his daughter to teach her ...Read more
Father's Threat Leads To Change In Family Dynamics
DEAR ABBY: While I was visiting my father-in-law, a heated conversation turned violent. My husband, "Rob," was helping his dad and a neighbor with a house project. When Rob's dad became upset at him, he lifted the power saw he was holding, turned it on and motioned toward Rob saying, "You're lucky I don't slit your throat." He said some other ...Read more
Ghosting is ruthless. So why are we all doing it?
LOS ANGELES -- Alexis Fischer was excited to jump back into the dating world after being single for two years.
The professional dancer-turned-entrepreneur took time to heal from her breakup with her ex-boyfriend of nearly four years. She also wanted to focus on building her business, the Move by Lexfish app, where she teaches virtual Pilates, ...Read more
Ask Anna: Caught in the act? How to bounce back from awkward encounters with parents
Dear Anna,
I've been dating my boyfriend for about six months now. He's at college in Ohio while I'm stuck in our small town in Iowa. We've been trying to make the long-distance thing work and keep the connection and, y'know, the spark. So last night, we were video chatting. With miles between us, things started to get a bit...well, heated, if ...Read more
Employee Feels Demoralized After Being Let Go
DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel disrespected after being laid off, despite being one of the best performers in my role. It is disheartening to feel undervalued and overlooked, especially when I have dedicated myself to my job and consistently produced high-quality work. The decision to let me go has left me feeling confused and demoralized; I believe I ...Read more
Elevator Etiquette: Just Don't Be In The Way
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I know this may sound like a silly question, but what exactly is the proper etiquette for getting on and off an elevator? Is there even a proper way?
It seems that when people wait right by the door, it makes for an awkward moment when the doors open. But I, too, am guilty of waiting right at the door.
GENTLE READER: Rather ...Read more
Healing Is Required on Both Sides
Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 17 years and have five adopted children through foster care. We have gone through a lot of tough situations with the children during the last six years, which put a lot of pressure on our marriage, including financially. During that time, my husband lashed out at me frequently. He has said ...Read more
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